Clemson Carl
@ClemsonCarl
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Unbiased Covid and sports coverage... Contributor for @StudentUSports , former @BarstoolClemson . Rutgers '16, Clemson '18. #LGM , #LGR , #NYG he/him
Joined December 2013
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I need the untrimmed version of this video more than I need air to breathe
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Tom Brady won 7 super bowls bc he would’ve left her stranded on the side of the road to go watch more film
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The best roller coaster of reality tv emotions you’ve ever been on to kickoff your hump day
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Doug Dimsdale owner of the Dimsdale Dimmadome don’t give a Dimmadamn
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What we’re not gonna do is pretend this Patriots season is an underdog story
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Imagine being raised by human garbage cans. That’s what it’s like growing up in Philly
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I can’t believe no one found it yet I thought Twitter was better than this
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Brett Favre didn’t need weed to get high after he went 22-30 399 yards and 4 TDs either. He threw on some wrangler jeans popped in a handful of vicodin then went out and sent unsolicited pics of his ding dong
Brett Favre didn’t smoke a blunt after his Dad died. He went out and went 22-30 399 yards and 4 TDS
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List of college football conference championship games today by country:
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Proof that what happens in sports is beyond the confines of law
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Chris Davis walking back into the dugout trying to act cool after his first hit
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You don’t get to enjoy this
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Cole Beasley let doctors load him up with so many painkillers that he couldn’t feel his own broken leg but is now worried about how a vaccine could effect his body
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This man was elected over Beto
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk
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Live look at Jon Gruden trying to control Marshawn Lynch, Antonio Brown and Vontaze Burfict this year
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It’s like Gen Z is just discovering Mike Vick through this video and they don’t even understand it was way past his prime
Mike Vick really launched this from the 4-yard line to the 34-yard line on a ROPE. My goodness 🚀
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Imagine burning a jersey of your franchise QB who won 6 Super Bowls, won the AFC 9 times, won 16 division titles and never had a losing season... Boston doesn’t deserve good sports teams
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This is the biggest “go fuck yourself” anyone has given an entire city since Ron Burgundy
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The exact moment Chris D’Elia realizes the crimes he was getting away with were actually still definitely traceable was caught on film:
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WWE announcers: and kids, DON’T try this at home!!
Kids, at home:
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Find me a teacher who can throw a 97 MPH heater followed by a 12-6 knee buckling curve and I’ll show you a teacher worth hundreds of millions of dollars
If we are a nation that can pay baseball players hundreds of millions of dollars, don't tell me we can't afford to pay teachers the salaries they deserve.
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If someone does this to my girl I’m letting him take her off my hands for a few hours till he gets annoyed and returns her
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The Bills: *have a very promising sophomore campaign from Josh Allen, a very solid defense, then add Stefon Diggs in the offseason*
Tom Brady:
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People from Boston: it’s really not fair when everyone generalizes us all as assholes
People from Boston, also:
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Padres: we just secured a blockbuster trade all we need is Eric Hosmer to waive his no-trade and go to the Nationals
Eric Hosmer:
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┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
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Pete Rose’s HOF career
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BREAKING: Pete Rose asks MLB for reinstatement, cites no punishment for Astros players for electronic signs-stealing. "There cannot be one set of rules for Mr. Rose and another for everyone else," Rose's 20-page petition to Manfred says.
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Live look at Deshaun Watson:
Bill O’Brien will be the head coach and GM of the Texans in 2020, team announces.
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That’s it. I’m done with this sorcery you call “The Simpson’s”
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LeBron does so many things that make me say “why would he do that?” but this one takes the cake
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We need Alex Trebek to beat cancer. No one else can make you feel bad for not knowing the 3rd emperor of the Ming Dynasty then dunk on you for being a nerd like he can. Best of luck to him in his battle
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Week 5 unbiased rankings:
1. Clem
2. Bama
3. Oklahoma
4. OSU
5. LSU
6. Auburn
7. Wisc
8. UCF
9. Iowa
10. Oregon
11. Boise St.
12. Texas
13. Cal
14. UVA
15. UGA
16. K. State
17. USC
18. Pitt
19. App. State
20. Baylor
21. Memphis
22. Wake Forest
23. Wash
24. TAMU
25. Florida
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NFL conference championship games today:
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Weeks of paid leave for mothers:
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Final 2019 unbiased rankings:
1. LSU
2. Clemson
3. UCF
4. OSU
5. Oregon
6. Oklahoma
7. App St
8. Minn
9. Air Force
10. Florida
11. Memphis
12. Iowa
13. Cincy
14. Navy
15. Bama
16. FAU
17. UGA
18. Utah
19. Baylor
20. UVA
21. Wisc
22. Texas A&M
23. USC
24. San Diego St
25. Boise St
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When someone hits while the dealer is showing a 6 and takes the bust card
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If UCF gets left out of the playoffs this year we riot. This team may be better than the last two
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You think that's bad? They're ripping henny when they stay with Uncle JR
LeBron James says his sons, ages 14 and 11, drink wine with their dad
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Because they lost
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Week 4 unbiased CFB rankings (incl. Big 10):
1. Clemson
2. UCF
3. BYU
4. Bama
5. UNC
6. Ok St
7. Cincy
8. Pitt
9. Memph
10. Louisiana
11. Houst
12. Baylor
13. Auburn
14. Marshall
15. VT
16. SMU
17. T A&M
18. FAU
19. Navy
20. UVA
21. Army
22. App St
23. OU
24. Co Car
25. Miss St
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This game was better than any Iron Bowl even the missed FG-6 don’t @ me
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If you Google “act like you’ve been there before” it should take you directly to this clip of Coach Elliott
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Scott Frost rips his players for wearing hoodies during warm-ups while it’s 30 degrees out, as he wears a hoodie indoors
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2020 unbiased preseason rankings:
1. Clemson
2. UCF
3. Oklahoma
4. BYU
5. Bama
6. App St
7. LSU
8. Duke
9. Ok St
10. Louisville
11. Memphis
12. UNC
13. Cincy
14. KSU
15. Houston
16. UL Lafayette
17. Baylor
18. ISU
19. Army
20. Kansas
21. SMU
22. Citadel
23. FAU
24. Wake
25. Pitt
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Week 4 Rankings:
1. Clemson
2. Bama
3. UCF
4. Oklahoma
5. UGA
6. LSU
7. Ohio St.
8. Wisconsin
9. Utah
10. Auburn
11. Iowa
12. Oregon
13. TAMU
14. Boise St.
15. Texas
16. Wazzu
17. UVA
18. K. State
19. ASU
21. TCU
21. Baylor
22. Memphis
23. Ok. St.
23. BYU
24. Washington
25. ND
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Week 6 unbiased rankings:
1. Clem
2. Oklahoma
3. Auburn
4. OSU
5. Bama
6. LSU
7. Wisc
8. UCF
9. Iowa
10. Oregon
11. Boise St.
12. Texas
13. UGA
14. Wash
15. Wake Forest
16. App State
17. Memphis
18. Pitt
19. Arizona St
20. Florida
21. Cal
22. TAMU
23. SMU
24. Baylor
25. Minnesota
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my mom when she was pregnant with me:
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It’d be a real shame if this somehow ended up on every single Alabama football fan’s TL today
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Pete Alonso >>> Aaron Judge
Just start accepting that fact now
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In 2016 Clemson lost to Pittsburgh by 1 point then won the national championship. Yesterday, UCF played a GREAT game and lost by 1 to Pittsburgh thus strengthening their playoff resume. Notre Dame and Michigan both proved they’re not top 25. What a weekend to be me
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UPDATE: we found the owner on our last walk... AND THE OWNER WAS ALREADY IN OVER HER HEAD WITH 3 OTHER DOGS AND IS LETTING ME KEEP HER!!! MEET DIXIE MY NEW BEST FRIEND
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Texas Tech: *starts coming back against UVA*
Texas Tech shooters:
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You’ve heard of the milk crate challenge… but may I present to you the ladder challenge?
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Alex Morgan’s bday today, America’s bday Thursday, the British are about to get that ass beat like it’s 1776
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“UCF doesn’t deserve a home and home with UF yet”
People that have actually watched football this decade:
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Myles Garrett tries to find a loophole in the NFL’s new helmet rules
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The Patriots when they cruise through the AFC East again next year but then run into the Browns in the playoffs
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“Hey what section are you in today?”
The fallopian tubes
Found this new artist rendering with an overhead view of the new south end zone project at DKR-TMS. Now I'm starting to get what the "Longhorn patio" looks like.
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When it comes to getting autographs we are in 2019 while this man is in 3019
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Week 2 unbiased CFB rankings (incl. Big 10):
1. Clemson
2. UCF
3. OU
4. BYU
5. Bama
6. LSU
7. App St
8. Ok St
9. L’ville
10. Memphis
11. UNC
12. Cincy
13. Louisiana
14. Houston
15. Baylor
16. Pitt
17. Army
18. VT
19. SMU
20. FAU
21. Texas A&M
22. Wake
23. TCU
24. Marshall
25. GT
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How am I supposed to set my fantasy draft board up if NFL athletes won’t post videos like this in the off-season anymore...
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Has any other team in history ever won a conference game by 35 points and actually dropped in the AP rankings? Clemson continues to be a trailblazer in the college football world
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This guy made slipping on ice look cooler than anything I can do
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Giancarlo Stanton practicing swinging at strike 3 in the dirt
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Texas A&M: there’s nowhere in the country that has a 12th man advantage like us
Lake Eerie high schools: hold my beer
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@barstoolsports
@PardonMyTake
Molly: did you just make that up? The BOAT? Do people really say that?
Max: yes, I’m saying it now
AWLs:
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I eat 6 fries per mouthful
You should only eat 6 fries per serving, Harvard professor says
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I can't understand the ppl so against UCF making the CFP. Either:
UCF gets mollywhopped, prove the haters right, shut UCF fans and all the G5 crusaders up for a while.
UCF is legit and we watch an incredible underdog story unfold.
Seems win-win to me
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