Ben Short
@BenBestSterling
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5,801
Following
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Thank you all for being so nice to me.
Joined March 2020
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@CountBinface
Apparently Hislop later commented that the most upsetting moment was when he realised that Patel fundamentally didn’t understand the facts. She wasn’t being deliberately obtuse, she just didn’t get what he was saying.
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@ameerfarooq
@ozzieburton
They’re gradually feeding a pizza under the door, one ingredient at a time.
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@lynx
I have no memories of Lynx Africa, because after the first time I used it I was basically smothered with tits non-stop forever and the lack of oxygen knocked me out and I remember nothing since.
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@KevOnStage
Last month my office manager had her eyelashes done. I told her they looked great, almost as good as mine.
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You know what stops people stressing about money? Paying them money!
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Me: “Yeah £150 isn’t bad for a domme session.”
Also me: “13.99 for a pizza?!”
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@WaterlsScary
This should have a content warning. Not for the blood, but for that woman's voice.
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Someone at work told me that apparently there are girls who sell feet pics online. And I had to be like
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@WholesomeMeme
So she changes hairstyle between pics but he’s jus like “nah I’m good with this one”.
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I see ladies posting tips for baby dommes all the time, so here’s a tip for new subs. No genuine findom is ever offended if you ask if she’s a catfish. Stay safe.
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@themichaelowen
@EmmaRaducanu
Congratulations Emma. This is a dog I met in the supermarket car park a few weeks ago. He was really happy to meet me because I’m a good guy. I told his owner I was gonna make him famous because I’m a pretty big deal on Twitter.
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@Femi_Sorry
@piersmorgan
I’m sorry? Mathematically the aggressor? If 3 men attack you and you kill them all, that doesn’t make you the aggressor. Do better.
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Of course I believe in female supremacy. Have you SEEN this place?!
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@Tofu_Marketing
You literally started this account just to make this joke, and I respect that.
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@GeorgeTakei
The longer he keeps the circus going, the more money he can generate to pay off some of his immense debts. Also if he really dodge his heels in maybe he can get a sweetheart deal from the new administration and avoid future prosecution.
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Love it when a findom posts “I want coffee. Send £1000 to cover it.” Shoot for the stars girl!
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@AveryBa68752542
Arctic Jack was found on the street in Serbia. Now he is a very fierce guard dog for my parents, unless you have sausages and then he’s your best friend.
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@peoplefreakout
@lnstant_regret_
He wasn’t “unruly”. He assaulted her and she defended herself.
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Findom has become impossible. Too many girls believing too many liars and now it’s impossible to even have a conversation because everyone is so used to being scammed. I’m gonna start normal dating again. As soon as someone explains it too me.
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@bunsenbernerbmd
Literally getting more scientific advice from a dog than from the President
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Absolutely NEED to leave this bar before I approach the three girls in leather and ask if they’re dommes. What have you done to me twitter?! 😭🥺
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@BlokeOnWheels
All Along The Watchtower. Even Dylan said the Hendrix cover was better than his original.
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I just received a little under £30 from some girls at work to cover all the lunch runs I did last week. After years of battling a findom addiction it’s strange to be a recipient of payment. Maybe this is the beginning of my cashmaster phase?
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No one can tell me what to do! 😡Unless it’s a girl in gloves or leggings. 🥺
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Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a girlfriend. Then I watch
#24hoursinpolicecustody
and I’m like “nope I’m gonna stick with pets and professionals thank YOU very much!”
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“Don’t kink same me!” - my attempt to explain to the boss why I was on findom twitter during work.
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No I’m not into findom. I’m into reparations for all the awful things my fellow men and I have done to women.
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@afneil
I really hate Russell Brand, but this all seems a bit far fetched and without any evidence.
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@anon_opin
If you think every reply to a tweet is an attempt to seduce the tweeter, I would suggest you’re the problem.
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Findom: “I’m the most evil girl you will ever meet and I will destroy your life.” 😈 😈😈
Me: *posts a picture of my dog*
Findom: “I would die for him!” 🥺😍🥺
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@living0nearth
Grizzly bear sees this guy and is like “yeah I’m gonna stick to salmon and fruit.”
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@gunsnrosesgirl3
I know there's probably a scientific explanation for this, but I'm pretty sure this is basically Satan.
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@BarbaraSutton15
@GavThorpeCreate
My family has only been in the UK for about 400 years. If this level of blatant delight in the suffering of immigrants continues I hope they find a way to deport me.
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@guywalters
Get your lecture timetable up on the 70-inch plasma and you are seriously looking at that lecture timetable
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Couldn’t be bothered to cook so just ate two Cadbury Creme Eggs. Now sat here feeling pathetic and it’s my own fault. I am 38.
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@DrFarebro
@ozzieburton
This is hilarious. Like being in a single-sex environment would reduce the likelihood of sex. Me and a few heterosexual male colleagues once had to work late. After pizza we lasted about 15 minutes before we were discussing which of us was most attractive.
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I don't need to come to findom Twitter to be ignored by beautiful girls. I can go to the gym for that.
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Is it ok to call a findom cute? Because some of them really are.
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Guys. I don’t want to get too emotional here, but I’m starting to see some of you in a non-sexual way.
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My work wife is leaving the company. 😭🥺Please send pet pics. Or boobs.
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When you tell a findom you're going to avoid relapse because you're at the gym, but then you have to hide and give yourself a reassuring hug.
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Office manager: “The new admin assistant is manipulating you!” 😡
Me: “Can we keep her?” 🥺
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How many findom ladies do I need to serve to make up for the time I blocked one without sending? Also does it really count as a penance if I enjoy it?
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Of course I don’t follow EVERY findom who likes my silly posts. Just all the ones in gloves.
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@anon_opin
Who went to these fictional schools? No one laughed at the thick kids because they were good at sports and unreasonably violent and large. I stood up to one of them and he kicked me in the face. He’s now a convicted rapist.
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@shiraisinspired
Today I was cooking with the fan on. The noise was drowning out what I was watching on my laptop. I can’t bring myself to turn the volume on my laptop above 24 even though it goes up to 100. People at work think I’m lucky because I can always find things.
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@johncusack
Ok don’t make fun of me for asking this, but I have only ever seen golf on TV and have no idea how big the balls are. Is it a golf ball?
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I would never call out a findom for letting me down. But I will passive aggressively unfollow her and go through all her tweets I liked and unlike them. That’ll show her!
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Oh so my colleague can wear knee-high boots and leather pants to work but apparently I’M the weirdo for kneeling on the office floor with my wallet in my mouth!
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@FINALLEVEL
Mark Twain: “Never argue with fools. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
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Sorry I’m not as active as I used to be! I can’t currently follow anyone back because I followed too many dog accounts. And I can’t currently serve any findoms because I have been moved to an all female team at work, and they keep making me take them for pizza.
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If you’re a findom trying to stalk me, getting your slaves to follow me isn’t the power move you think it is. We have a subs group chat where we exchange crumble recipes and dog pictures.
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@ShehabKhan
@BorisJohnson
Swine flu isn’t a scare story. The entire premise of this anecdote is terrifying.
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