Julianna 💎
@BatarianGal
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Following
1,008
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8,241
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Hello “pronouns in bio” people looking to see if I have pronouns in my bio. I can confirm your suspicion. Look, here they are 👉 (she/her) 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
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Joined September 2019
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Pinned Tweet
Really don’t think we are prepared for how fucking whiny the British right is about to become
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He keeps using the word “primal” to describe the kind of excess only really made possible by modernity
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Absolutely note perfect
What’s the funniest joke in the history of television? Has to be a single joke/gag don’t come here detailing entire episodes and story arcs. “Dead dove do not eat” type of stuff.
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Every time I see stuff about The Good Doctor I’m just reminded of this
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A lot of the British right wing media really can't cope with the fact Joe Biden had a nice time in Ireland, can they?
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The fucking asterix explaining the analogy is sending me
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No one:
Literally no one:
Rishi Sunak: We are bringing back smoking in hospitals
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[RT 🔒]
Parties are unveiling their general election manifestos throughout the week
But what is a manifesto?
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Was gonna recycle this thread again, but honestly “David Cameron as Foreign Secretary” would make it obsolete
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Nothing quite captures the decline of civilisation like vintage pictures of people on planes
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“You can use a spoon if you want, but God gave you the hands for a reason”
God: yeah, that reason was so you could use fucking spoons
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Welcome, Sheev Palpatine, the new Labour MP for Naboo.
Since it’s reshuffle day and RalphWiggumMP is no more, I can recycle the only good thread I did on there
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Conservative Party warns that, if elected, Keir Starmer will turn himself into a sandworm and rule for thousands of years
UK general election live: Starmer will try to set up ‘permanent Labour government’ if he wins, James Cleverly claims
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A recent British comedy movie that took the piss out of numerous Soviets went out of its way to portray Zhukov as a badass
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Composer Andrew Lloyd Webber has said political correctness is stopping him from composing another musical.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“Snowflake" said Gandalf, “back in 1976…”
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I am pretty confident that our ancestors were not consuming vast quantities of mammoth on a daily basis
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Looking at this is like watching the first episode of Game of Thrones again
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I am once again begging remainer twitter to stop whitewashing the Cameron government
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This is your captain speaking, as a show of respect for the passing of our beloved Queen, we shall shortly be switching off the plane’s engines
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Good approach, someone should suggest it to the Health Secretary
Oh look - someone who's actually gone to the trouble of talking with trans people when talking about trans issues! It can be done!
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Cersei and Jaime Lannister, with an age gap of only a few minutes, were the least problematic couple in the history of television
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@inihelene
It’s just raw bollocks from an unspecified animal steeped in milk, what’s so disgusting about that?
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This is the second time today journalists have effectively asked: “Hello Mr. Prime Minister, congratulations on the new job, would you like to immediately torpedo your relationship with the man who could still be leading the most powerful nation on earth for another four years?”
Keir Starmer, asked for his views on Biden's mortifying Putin gaffe, says the US president "deserves credit" for the overall success of the Nato summit.
But despite being asked three times, the PM doesn't answer the substance of the question.
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Fun fact: at any given moment, there are approximately 10,000 crime dramas being filmed across this one set of islands
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Keir Starmer: well, obviously I am opposed to this ridiculous ide-
*the law passes*
Keir Starmer: we have no plans to repeal the Smoking in Hospitals Act, no matter how many misty-eyed idealists demand it
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Did you know that ONE Cadbury’s Creme Egg is equivalent to 1.0 Cadbury’s Creme Eggs?
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Exclusive: George Osborne summoned to Covid Inquiry over impact of NHS austerity cuts on pandemic
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Just realised it was the fourth anniversary of this on Monday
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[RT 🔒]
Guy at George Osborne wedding with 1600 unopened emails: huh kind of a weird vibe going on here. Oh well
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[RT 🔒]
“But Labour sources sounded worried too!” - you are a British political pundit, you should understand by now that Labour sources see the sun go down and worry it may never rise again
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True, he wasn’t mentioned in my textbooks, but I can’t think of any general that was. The whole “not in the textbooks” thing annoys me because it’s such a weird understanding of how history is taught
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Few things make me feel more patriotic than Churchill losing in 1945
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@AbiWilks
What pissed me off so much about that is you just know that, if the people in Grenfell had used “common sense” and still died, people like Mogg would have thought “well, they should have followed the rules”
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Hey, look, I got profile pictured. Mum, I made it!
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Hold your nerve Rishi, hold your nerve
Westminster Voting Intention:
LAB: 47% (+1)
CON: 24% (-3)
LDM: 12% (+2)
RFM: 7% (+2)
SNP: 4% (=)
GRN: 4% (-2)
Via
@DeltapollUK
, 23-26 Jun.
Changes w/ 16-19 Jun.
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Rare Met W
Staggered to learn the Met Police have banned their officers from wearing the thin blue line patch.
Police officers can wear rainbows, poppies and Help For Heroes accoutrements. So they can remember the Armed Forces’ fallen, but not their own.
Shameful,
@metpoliceuk
.
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“The usurper, Boris Johnson.
The usurper, Liz Truss.
The usurper, Nicola Sturgeon.”
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Says British people have no culture whilst being an obnoxious Brit abroad, the cornerstone of British culture
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Cannot be fucked with the blame for today being placed on Ukraine for wanting to join a military alliance *explicitly to prevent this from happening*
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Random fun fact: Boris’s tenure as PM will be the first since Callaghan’s in which a Doctor hasn’t regenerated
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Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker on course for lowest shared amount of limbs in their history
Tories and Labour on course for lowest share of the vote since 1945
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[RT 🔒]
I always think it's a massive conflict of interest to have the same person commissioning both policing and crime
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“A personal vote? That goes against every national trend? For one of the most unpopular politicians in the country? Localised entirely within Uxbridge?”
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It amuses me that this could be misread as a trans women affirming her own identity
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@souljagoytellem
The bizarre thing about this narrative is that the outcome for Germany for WWI was positively luxurious compared to the outcome of WWII for them, and yet the latter outcome did not lead to a third bout
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Ed Davey: *orders giant novelty cigarette so he can make a “fag end” pun the next time he wins a by-election*
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Liz Truss biopic when
enough girlbosses i need girlfailures. just an absolute loser of a female character. more women who suck!!!!!
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They were Nazi sympathisers
"The saddest thing is that Wallis and Edward, despite being banished, were dutiful and patriotic to the end...Meghan and Harry, who took it upon themselves to leave Britain, seem unlikely to display similar loyalty to the Crown on Oprah tonight"
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Something has gone badly wrong in the past decade, and large numbers of Britons have lived shorter lives as a result
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Oh my God, it’s just clicked. He’s the British Mitt Romney
EXCLUSIVE: In a leaked video, Rishi Sunak boasted to Conservative Party members that he was prepared to take public money out of “deprived urban areas” to help wealthy towns.
@REWearmouth
reports:
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If Jacinda Ardern were a UK MP, she’d have a real long commute to work
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Australia trade deal to save each UK household 'up to' £1.22 a year on imported goods
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Shame it’s a badly cropped screenshot, but you can’t have everything
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We are now officially in the penultimate year of this Parliament
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We are now, officially, in the last year of this Parliament and (almost certainly) this government
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British media covering the Irish general election next month
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Who's the definition of a 'stupid person's idea of a clever person'
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lmao
“Not so Fucking Easy, Is It?” Our Interview With George Lucas
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I feel like so many people truly believing “nothing will change under Labour” is mostly a marker of how long the Tories have been in power that we can’t conceptualise anything different
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Canada and the UK
Updated
@338Canada
Federal Model:
CPC: 220 (+101)
LPC: 64 (-96)
BQ: 38 (+6)
NDP: 19 (-6)
GPC: 2 (-)
- May 5, 2024 -
(Seat Changes With 2021 Federal Election)
Check out the model here:
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All I want is a Labour left that properly acknowledges it fucked up on antisemitism and that doesn’t have such a massive victim complex, is that so much to ask?
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After PM hints at new measures on cost of living in the chamber, a Treasury source says they have no idea what he's referring to as they're not aware of anything specific on the way.
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The Conservative Party is the whiniest fucking organisation in existence
EXCL: 36 Tory MPs and Lords have decided Lineker’s suspension isn’t good enough.
They’ve written to Tim Davie demanding a full apology “without reservation” from Mr Lineker.
They also want an independent investigation.
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A long overdue update
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Fun fact, after using this poster in her election campaign, unemployment more than doubled under Thatcher
If Labour get in, we’ll all be queueing outside the job centre.
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We are also reaching the point with Gen Z we did with Millennials where people hear it and still think “teenagers”, when some of the oldest zoomers are now adults with degrees and full-time jobs
"Gen z" isn't collectively saying or doing anything. Your algorithm is showing you tiktoks from dumb 20 year olds because you keep liking it
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We were watching HIGNFY last night and they approvingly showed a clip of Eamonn Holmes talking about Philip Schofield, and that was the moment it’s crystal clear that GB News has been successful in embedding itself
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“Nuclear would’ve been good ten years ago, but it’s too late now” - ancient proverb
This is some grim real life dramatic irony: Nick Clegg opposing nuclear power in 2010 because it would only come on-stream by 2021 or 2022.
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@IRHotTakes
Don’t know if I agree on 9/10, but this is definitely why people talking about us living in the “darkest timeline” started to grate on me because we really, really don’t
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In short:
NEW:
Britain’s grim winter of strikes, falling incomes and a worsening NHS crisis is not some unfortunate series of events
It’s the inevitable result of a decade of Tory austerity that steadily weakened the state’s capacity to respond to shocks
Thread:
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[RT 🔒]
rishi sunak, ennuciating clearly and fluently: your grandma is going to die in the hospital floor
Labour MPs will be unnerved by the fluency of Rishi Sunak at PMQs, this prime minister is a much more plausible opponent than his predecessor
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Kay Burley: I’m not sure shitting in your bathtub would be all that hygienic
Tim Montgomerie, shitting in his bathtub: haha, owned
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This pseudo-scientific notion that people aren’t properly adult until they’re 25 has been hoovered up by so many people, myself included for a time, and it’s doing so much damage
The frontal lobe isn’t fully developed until about age 25. There’s probably a good argument that 16 to 25-year-olds should be legally allowed to have sex with each other but no one between that age should be engaging in sex with anyone over 25.
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“Labour supports unfunded spending. Labour’s plans could even be said to resemble the disastrous Conservative Party budget of 2022. Vote Conservative.”
What links Labour and last year's mini Budget? Unfunded spending commitments - great
@ahawksbee
on something we'll be hearing a lot more about in the coming months
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“What is the charge? Having a tick? A beautiful bright blue tick?”
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I don’t understand what exactly I’m supposed to be so horrified by with “15 minute cities”
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Non-photoshopped version
Traditional Christmas drink with neighbours in the local. Happy Christmas one and all.
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One of those days where I’m just quietly seething about how much the UK has wasted the last 13 years
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