nikki cox
@Averycox78Cox
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if you loathe me, we already have something in common.
Joined February 2016
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I have absolutely zero gag reflex. Which is a double-edged sword. I'd be a gold-medal sex worker; but a horrible,horrible bulimic.
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I usually find name-dropping gross; but I had the same vagina doctor as the late Shelly Winters. And that is WAY fucking grosser.
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When you have kids, the years fly by. And the days last F -O -R -E -V -E -R.
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Today is my momma's birthday;she's been gone 2 yrs.Her favorite quote was"In a world full of caterpillars it takes balls to be a butterfly."
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Latest update:Hundreds of thousands were injured on Twitter in the stampede of people rushing to make the same joke.
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I wanna be on a show on the channel REELZ.Then I could say"Yo,I'm on a dope new show. For REELZ."
@ReelzChannel
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I'm basing this solely upon watching her TV show, as I have never met her; but Caitlyn Jenner seems like a real dick.
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In order to be a TRUE asshole, you can't know you are one.
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I don't think " everything happens for a reason". I think everything just fucking happens; and we do our best to make reason OF it.
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I will say this( and I've said it for years) : If I had a dick , it would be enormous. And spectacular.
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Uh,hon?Who the HELL is this "beautiful Grace" of whom you speak? Oh shit. I'm gettin' a sister wife aren't I.
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Also, when you're named "Nikki"-you pretty much won the "song with my name in it lottery" when Prince wrote"Darling Nikki"- Thank you, sir.
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Wait, what the hell is snap-chat?My goddamn snapper is gonna chat? This is not good.
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I'm woefully ill-prepared,pathetically lacking in knowledge,sport creepy orange hair&a resume filled w/embarrassing TV.I CAN BE PRESIDENT!
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My husband
@jaymohr37
said 2 follow
@verified
so folks know I'm not Nikki Cox of the adult film genre. Fine folks though I'm sure.
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First on the list of most blessed momma. The loveliest creature we've ever known.
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Will Rodgers famously said"I never met a man I didn't like"Little known fact:Will Rodger used the word"like" as a euphemism for"penetrate".
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Let's face it. Jesus was hot. If they shaved his beard,stuck him in a well- tailored suit, I'm pretty sure he'd be the next
@BachelorABC
.
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Lotsa folks try2"make a great 1st impression".Me?I leadw/my flaws.Then if I accidentally do something right,it's a fun surprise 4 everyone!
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When I was a young,attractive,single&wild,I had a rule: If I was gonna act stupid,I was gonna be smart about it.
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I say it's high time show-business brings back the ol' casting couch.
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My mom said love in any form is like a beautiful book.Just because it ends doesn't mean it never existed.
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Might be MOST PATHETIC THING ever written;yet my husband's given it a happy ending(the book kind-not the damp kind)
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Everyone now types everything. My gnawing concern : what will become of hand writing experts?
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If there's a God,or Holy Spirit,or Jesus Christ(of Nazareth;to clarify)the next GOPDebate will be moderated by
@WillFerrel
as Alex Trebek.
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GOP right wing.Liberal left wing.Both SO polarizing¶lyzing,that NEITHER wing works,leaving our nation unable to fly.We're a fucking emu.
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According 2murder shows,hikers find more bodies than cadaver dogs.And EVERY TIME, the hikers say "At first we thought it was a mannequin".
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At the moment, I'm sort of in the market for a blessing that's NOT in disguise.
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Relativity. And pussy.
Not trying to hurt your feelings. But you dim bulbs don't even know what Einstein was all about!! Now do you? He was about....relativity!!!
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But I'm ok with my figure. I finally just accept it.I like to call my body type the"Reverse Mullet;Business in the back,party in the front".
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They say pick a job you like , you'll never work a day in your life. That's why I picked "blow".
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Trump's ridiculous;a creepy caricature of a human being;a grotesque show business celebrity qualified 4nothing;he barely counts as a person
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If I could get a tattoo that only lasted a week, I'd get one right over my "personality" that said : IF YOU LIVED HERE YOU'D BE HOME BY NOW.
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When UR last name is Cox,its mandatory you marry someone who's surname is a verb or an adjective.Least my husbands name is"Mohr".Not"Less".
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If I never again hear the word " bling " as long as I live, it will be too soon.
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Why HIKE?You wanna see the beauty of nature,try a nice stroll!Excercise?Hop on a treadmill.Seems 2 me,only reason 2 hike is 2 find a corpse.
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We need a sarcasm font. I'm not being sarcastic. But how would you know if I WERE?
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Hey guys (self included):How 'bout we all take 5 with how we give "3 fucks", or "1/2 a fuck" OR even the super hilarious "ZERO fucks" ?
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Realized:put on wrong day of Days of the Week panties.Uh-oh!Think I'm in store for all KINDS of wacky mixups!Cue key-tar heavy soundtrack..
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To expect change doing the same thing over & over & over & over is the definition of insanity. Incidentally,it's also the definition of OCD
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Whoever says "Time heals all wounds" has either never been hurt, or never owned a fucking clock.
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I don't know what you see in me but I'm eternally grateful you do.Thank you for loving me.*no greater love * yours.
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Sometimes I like to type in different accents. Just to throw folks off.(Like just now? Southern accent.TEXAS southern, to be more specific)
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"Constructive Criticism" is just criticism wearing a fucking hat.
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Its both alarming & oddly comforting that no matter who we are,when,where,HOW we lead our lives;all of our biographies have the same ending.
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Prince?No adjective even comes close to describing him;it would be a fool's errand.Only word comes to mind? Grateful-that we had him at all.
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People with podcasts? Its become the adult, not nearly as fun version of playing doctor. "I'll do yours if you'll do mine."
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1)My baby son:Mommy,can we watch the show where you said the people are sick&very sad& that's why they live with dead cats and poop in bags?
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I have never been passive aggressive. I am, however, AGGRESSIVELY passive.
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According to reality TV-the more often you say you "keep it real", the more likely you are to be wearing an enormous wig while saying it.
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So many of our oft- used expressions are utter malarkey. For example, not ONCE have I ever sweat in church.
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Wow;this year,the tiny human we made loves U2,Ramones,Beatles( prefers White Album),anything Rufus Wainwright,&all songs from Frozen
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Our 3lb Yorkie Mable's packed on 3/4 lb lately.Having watched "Extreme Weightloss" marathon,I now know she's probably "eating her feelings".
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I'm just lucky U think so.UR the only 1 that has2look at that shit.No undergarmentsAND no makeup.HOT.(sarcasm font!)
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If all the contestants from all the seasons of The Bachelorette were laid end to end-I wouldn't be at all surprised.
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"Catch more flies w/honey than w/vinegar"such bizarre advice.I don't know ANY flycatchers.Also,in my experience you catch MOST flies w/shit.
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I never watch porn. I find it sickening to watch dirty people do dirty things I wish I was doing.
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I know I'm biased; but only ONE man (BRILLIANTLY funny.GENIUS impersonator) should be the next Colonel Sanders: Rich motherfuckin' Little.
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All this election brouhaha! My mom always said 2 vote from your heart. Guess that means I'm backing"Crippling Sadness"&"Overwhelming Apathy"
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Hoarders seem to have the least to celebrate but the most holiday decorations.What a hootenanny they could have in that clean 1/2 a sink.
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Hoarders are genuinely hurting.Bless their heart.HEARTS!HEARTS,plural!Lotsa fuckin' hearts.They sleep on piles a' hearts.Also cans.And hats.
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.
@NBA
@jaymohr37
JJ's super-excited Wizard Marcin Gortat's coming over for podcast.Im superexcited as I've NEVER met a wizard before.
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On being a mom:I'm so grateful this baby boy human I made is so physically gorgeous;so smart&funny&sarcastic&KIND.His beauty is deafening.
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" I always wanted to be somebody. I realize now I should have been more specific."
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Watched 2hrs of (deeply disturbing)homeshopping channel;the world's saddest church built wholly upon utter loneliness & broken fuckin dreams
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be? Thanks autocorrect.Stupid fuckin autocorrect. Hey, uh, autocorrect ?Have you ever actually,truly HELPED ANYONE in the history of ever?
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@jaymohr37
I choose you;&I'll choose you,over&over.Without pause,without a doubt,in a heartbeat;& I will KEEP choosing you. Forever."yours.
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A bird doing that stupid fucking walk when it has the gift of FLIGHT?It's like when a genius actor takes time off "to focus on his music".
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I think my favorite brand of Hoarder is the one who no longer has plumbing and has taken a shine to shitting in bags.And keeping them.
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2)Me:No honey,let's not watch that stuff.I wanna watch something silly&funny. My Brain: Ah,be still my heart. My boy is a fan of Hoarders!
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It's always sad to see a sheep in wolf's clothing. They look ridiculous.
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1) . "Goodfellas",with Ray Liotta ,was inarguably PERFECTION;NO room for improvement ( why put your foot through a Van Gogh?)
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Us gals often use adorable, sexy little nicknames for our nether regions. For example: I call mine my "PERSONALITY ".
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Odds a finding a nude,defiled,partially buried mannequin?1in a mil?Where do these folks live where MANNEQUINS roam wild&wantonly thru woods?
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I'm told I need
@verified
I'm Nikki Cox-Nicole Avery Cox Mohr. There's pix of me on my husbands
@jaymohr37
+his IG
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1985 called. It wants its joke :"1985 called;it wants its joke back" back.
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Can't lie:a bit of me shall ALWAYS B a Hulkamaniac.Then again,Im a sucker for men who ALWAYS rock head kerchiefs w/neon yellow yarn hair.
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"If at first you don't succeed, please go home. Watching people fail kinda just makes everyone else fuckin' sad."
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I like to think of the letter "y" as the hermaphrodite of the alphabet.
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If it's true that "the good die young"I got me AT LEAST 175, 250 more years before I go. What can I say? Im a motherfuckin' optimist ?
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Thanks guys,for being what is so heartbreakingly rare these means more than you'll ever .nik.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Terry Kay Cox!! Touched many lives by raising a few. Impossible to lose that love
@Averycox78Cox
@TheRealHeyMatty
@jaymohr37
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For YEARS I've worried about this!ALSO-DESPERATE 2know my sleepnumber,but not sure I'm prepared 2handle the results.
Not comfortable with the idea of my mattress foam having a memory, what if it goes to a party gets drunk and starts talking.
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We humans are alI such creeps.I don't know Man's First Word;but I'm guessing Man's Second,Third and Fourth words were "Good one asshole".
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I've long thought lotsa folks become what they hate;now I think some folks're born what they hate and spend their lives pretending not to be
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WHEN folks play"your first pet&your first street=your porn name" I'm Disqualified. WolfgangPacific?As opposed2 my REAL name:NIKKI COX.Yuck.
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