angela “turns pastors into poets” weiler-hammond
@AngelaEWeiler
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Deconstructing my way through Bible school. DV survivor, author of The Frog in the Pot. 🐸 Mostly an @eanhammond roast account.
Lancaster, PA
Joined November 2020
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
Hi yes that’s Angela E. Weiler, Author to you.
I PUBLISHED A BOOK
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My 5yo stole my phone and I found this when I checked my photos 🥹🥹🥹
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When I was a single mom I used to buy and wrap presents for myself, because as sad as that sounds, it was infinitely better than the weird “I didn’t really even try” gifts my ex husband used to give.
A sweater in the wrong size that I could never wear, a necklace
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They just called for “Jennifer” three times in the waiting room, and I have anxiety so there was a second where I wondered if my name was actually Jennifer
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My Bible professor used an example of marriage counseling where the wife was very neat and the husband was very messy. The husband was working on remembering to put his socks in the hamper, and WHY IN THE YEAR 2023 ARE WE STILL NORMALIZING THE INFANTILIZION OF MEN
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I got married a year ago and my chronically-underweight self gained ten pounds. Like meds, intentional diets, and exercise did nothing for me but apparently waking up next to a tattooed man with blue eyes does the trick?
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I grew up hearing my mother say she loved me, but she didn’t like me. And she said it often.
She was angry and frustrated as took care of me. I was an obligation, not someone who brought her joy. And when a child is presented with that reality, they take that dislike onto
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chain that cost $300 but I don’t wear necklaces, on a credit card that I would have to pay off, etc; everything purchased last minute on Christmas Eve.
It wasn’t just that he wasn’t good at giving gifts; he didn’t care enough to know me or prepare, and it showed.
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A story in three parts
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Wrapping my own gifts that I actually wanted and that I was comfortable with budget-wise made me feel like I was safe and known again, even (and especially) if it was just by myself.
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My period was late this month and my first thought after realizing it was, “I’m too young to be pregnant”
Let the reader understand; I’m weeks away from 29 and already have two children.
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my daughter got little bff necklaces for Christmas. I thought she would give her other half to one of her kindergarten friends, but instead she turned to me and said, “here mom! You wear this one, you’re my best friend!”
If you need me I’ll be sobbing forever 😭😭😭
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Because I no longer have any f*cks to give, when my grandparents brought up abortion tonight and my grandmother said, “she should have just kept her legs shut” I told them I’m pro-choice and voted a straight democrat ballot today and watched sheer terror wash over their faces
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Us - “and this present is our magic bands! We’re going to Disney World!”
the kids - “oh cool”
*the very next present*
“OH MY GOD I GOT A SLINKY!!!!!!!!”
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routinely remind them that there is nothing they could do that would make me stop loving them OR liking them. They KNOW this isn’t an obligation for me. I adore them.
I can’t imagine letting my children believe they are so flawed that they don’t deserve a mother who likes them.
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themselves. It was my fault that my mom didn’t like me. It had to be.
Now that I’m an adult, there is so much grief and anger as I parent my own children. I can’t imagine telling my kids that I don’t like them, or that I only take care of them because I’m obligated to. I
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A Well-Used Mattress
Many "christian" fathers will pay big money to send their girls to college where they become a well used mattress with a drinking problem.
The same fathers will spend little to no effort helping their daughters find a godly husband. This is absurd.
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Apparently there isn’t a rule that you have to keep reading a book you hate??? Like you can just… not finish it???
Big if true
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You goobers, I am not talking about mental health disorders, I am talking about weaponized incompetence and the way the church portrays men as unable to do basic tasks while simultaneously touting them the leaders of the home.
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On the fawn response:
While still a trauma response, fawning is different from fight, flight, or freeze. Those actions are instinctual.
You cannot innately know how to appease & satiate this particular angry man on the first go. It takes trial and error to know which ways you
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Ah yes, we’re slut-shaming wedding dress choices now? Love that. Here’s mine; my deep V went down to my abdomen AND it was backless ☺️😘
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Also peep the little toes 😂😂😂
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5yo FaceTimed my boyfriend after her haircut. Immediately he noticed that she got bangs, so he complimented them.
She giggled. She felt seen. She spent fifteen seconds sharing her happiness with a father figure who loves her, and then we hung up and got pizza, because it
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I’m tired of a Christianity that oppresses the oppressed.
That’s it. That’s the tweet.
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Friendly reminder that sexism hurts men just as much as women. Men are not children needing someone to remind them to pick up their laundry.
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At age 13 (in 2008) my parents gave me $20/month to pay for everything I needed that wasn’t the basics (food & shelter).
I had to buy all clothes, contacts (they would only pay for glasses), car things (at 16), and cell phone bill. Needless to say, I got an under-the-table job.
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my sweet mother-in-law offered to fold our laundry and of course I said yes forgetting that the most RAUNCHY EXPLICIT LEAVE-NOTHING-TO-THE-IMAGINATION LINGERIE SET WAS IN THERE and not to be dramatic but I don’t think I can ever look her in the eye again
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No rapture, it’s almost like we’re supposed to bring heaven to earth rather than escape it
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Ean and I have stared at this tweet for five minutes and we still don’t know what he’s trying to say
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wasn’t an abnormal occurrence for her. Of course he noticed.
There are a lot of things I’ve done to break the cycle of abuse, but dating a man who actually sees and cares about my children is for sure the best one.
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Has anyone studied the healthy side effects of kissing a mustached man for one year?
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Marriage is so much easier than evangelical pastors made it seem, and that’s a major reason why I stayed in my abusive marriage.
The concepts of “work” within marriage and self-sacrifice (to the point of losing your personhood) was supported in their teachings.
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I saw my neighbor’s new car, so it’s their fault I’m envious. They should really keep that car in the garage, or at least cover it up when they drive it. Smh
*this has been a subtweet on modesty*
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I feel like you guys should know I wore this shirt when I was pregnant with my son too
This will never not be my favorite proof that I used to be evangelical
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must betray yourself in order to be “safe” around him, and even more repetition for your body to push you to do those things instinctually during a traumatic incident.
If you find yourself fawning, you have experienced prolonged abuse, and I weep on your behalf.
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My mother got remarried and wanted to invite my ex husband, whom we held a restraining order against, to her super-small wedding celebration.
I suggested that she invite her own abusive ex husband and leave mine out of it, but apparently that wasn’t the right response??
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Here’s the thing about being a woman in evangelical spaces - you’re constantly one bad decision away from losing your entire community.
Meanwhile, Evangelical men commit literal crimes and are still protected by the church.
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My 8yo got an iPad and we set up his iMessage. This is our very first text exchange
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Evangelicalism taught us to “flee from sexual immorality” so completely that we wrecked an entire generation’s sexuality, yet when it comes to wealth (you know, the thing Jesus said is harder to get into heaven with than a camel getting through the eye of a needle)
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My best marriage advice is to wait until your husband leaves for work and then set up the Christmas tree. Husbands only hate early Christmas trees in theory, not practice
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Prolly should have kept your legs shut, grandma
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@Maude_80
Both my parents physically, religiously, medically, and financially abused me, and my father sexually abused me. Try again.
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The reason I’m not attending church is because churches don’t make room for single parents as humans, only as problems to be solved.
I don’t want to be your project.
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Wow this really gained traction! If you’re interested in reading more of my story on leaving an abusive marriage, check out my poetry collection!
The Frog in the Pot: Poems on Healing from Divorce
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And before you say “they were just teaching you responsibility”, no. They weren’t.
I didn’t understand financial abuse. I didn’t understand how men like my dad used poverty to keep women like my mom dependent, despite having the skills for better-paying work. I didn’t
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There are no guns in the Bible
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A student in my Intro to Theology class keeps calling the Apostle’s Creed the Apollo’s Creed and I’m dying of secondhand embarrassment 😭😭😭
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the joke was just made from the pulpit in front of me, referring to polygamy in the Old Testament, “the only person who thinks having two wives sounds cool hasn’t been married”
and I just 🤢 on so many levels
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This wasn’t a learning experience; it was an offloading of responsibility.
And here’s the thing - I was so proud of myself. I had my own money. I was living like an adult, despite barely scraping by. And I stayed up at night worrying about finances at thirteen when all I should
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“God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called!”
Bro just say you didn’t go to seminary
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In the wake of the bear argument and the silly boy-man telling girls to quit their jobs so their existence has meaning, I am just so grateful for this human who treats me as an equal and makes life an absolute joy.
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have been worried about was school and friends.
I grew into an adult who was never a child.
Even now, when I am doing well and I don’t need to worry about basic necessities I have this constant anxiety following me around that at any moment I will wake up and not have enough.
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If you’re a man in the church and you’re having trouble understanding why a woman can’t just dress “modestly” to accommodate you -
I’ve never not been sexualized. Let me repeat that - since my earliest memories, my body has been sexualized.
set your own damn boundaries.
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Why did your kids cry today? I’ll go first.
I told them they couldn’t get married because they are brother and sister
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Broke: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” sign over your threshold
Woke: Proverbs 25:17 sign over your threshold
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Women going to seminary is the modern-day version of Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus. To all of these male Marthas demanding she go back to the kitchen -
“Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her.”
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I know we don’t talk about feminine sex drives often in the church, but I cannot tell you how reassuring it is to initiate but be told, “actually I’m tired tonight babe, can we just cuddle?” And the answer is obviously yes absolutely no biggie at all. But with that encounter
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The girl in front of you might not be mature or strong or smart or deceptive or dramatic. She might just be a normal child experiencing abuse.
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“I haven’t had sex since 2019, but I’m two days late so the only logical conclusion is I’ve conceived a child” - a memoir on anxiety
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for the love of God do NOT get married so you can use someone as an outlet for your sexual desire
Most people need an outlet for sexual desire, therefore, most people should get married.
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understand how parentification worked. I didn’t understand that my parents couldn’t afford basic things like bras and gas and contacts, and rather than taking care of me themselves, they passed the problem onto me.
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Being a single parent made me feel like our family was “incomplete”. I can’t look at these and find that feeling. This is a whole family in these photos.
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When you see a parent passing off parental responsibility of well-being and provision onto a child, look.
When you see a child who is so mature, so strong, so smart; look.
Abuse is hidden, but it also happens in plain sight if you know what to look for.
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I’m in the ER with the youngest, and she’s in a lot of pain. If you’re up and the praying type, we could use them 😭
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@emeraljade
Yep. She told me I was too emotional and needy, and we don’t naturally get along together. I wasn’t even a teenager yet 🥴 and in retrospect I was terribly, painfully self-sufficient. But when you’re a kid you just believe everything your mom tells you 😭
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It’s amazing how much more enjoyable marriage is when you’re married to someone who actually likes you???
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The majority of abuse victims (myself included) opt for a no fault divorce bc it is far safer & less traumatizing.
Staring at your ex across a courtroom while telling strangers what he did to you in order to receive protection?
When you know leaving is the most dangerous
if the only way you're allowed to get divorced is to prove that your spouse was drunk for 5 years straight or they were COMMITTED then people will just stop getting married.
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@in_the_sky34221
I put a preset on it! Lol but she actually does have a pretty good eye. I’m a wedding photographer and usually when she steals my phone I get a few images that I actually low-key adore.
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Three days with the in-laws on the Ohio-Kentucky border and our 6yo just informed me she needs to “warsh” her hands
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The reason we read the deception of Eve as a gendered story is because Eve was a woman and she was deceived first. If Adam was deceived first, the story would have always been about the fallibility of humanity.
We don’t see Eve as human first, we see Eve as female first.
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marriage is a gift bc sex but also hard work so you need to have lots of sex bc sex is the glue that keeps the marriage together bc without sex marriage is just hard work
-every evangelical sermon on marriage & sex ever
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Super psyched to see if my abusive ex husband is at my mother’s wedding celebration today 😌
My mother got remarried and wanted to invite my ex husband, whom we held a restraining order against, to her super-small wedding celebration.
I suggested that she invite her own abusive ex husband and leave mine out of it, but apparently that wasn’t the right response??
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When we talk about narcissistic abuse, there are the obvious things that stay hidden. My parents hit me in private. They used religious and emotional tactics to demean and belittle me in private. They triangulated me against my sisters and other parent in private. But other
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@FoucaultFanatic
But also, you should want to be a competent adult because it’s good for you and takes the burden off your spouse? Like don’t just do things and expect it to “earn” you sex. Be a good human who pulls their weight and loves their partner.
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“Prince of peace” implies the existence of peasant of chaos
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abuses can’t be hidden.
They gaslit me into believing I was dramatic, so much so that I didn’t receive medical treatment for a broken bone until 48 hours after the incident. And then my father told a larger-than-life tale about my fracture and how crazy the whole situation was
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It’s fascinating how so many conservative white evangelical men are suddenly scholars of poetry.
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have in class.
From my mom, they saw a dramatic and deceitful girl; who can really tell if she’s telling the truth?
My story has a happy ending. I am safe, and I have good people who helped me get there. But with a bit of education l, it could have been prevented.
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This weekend at our megachurch a woman was preaching and someone from the audience STOOD UP and INTERRUPTED HER to say women aren’t allowed to preach. In front of thousands of people
where are we getting all of this audacity????
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@Ysgawen
You know that isn’t even close to why I vote pro-choice. The only shock here is that you’re still using this argument to make laws that don’t affect abortion rates instead of having discussions about the things that actually lower them.
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to his church friends for the next month.
My mother told her friends that I cried wolf so often she couldn’t tell when I wasn’t faking it.
The signs were there, just with their twisted narratives.
From my dad, they saw a mature child; so strong, so impervious to pain, a joy to
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Statistically, the greatest threat to your wife and kids is you with a gun.
If you’re serious about protecting your family - ditch the weapon, install a home security system, and find a therapist.
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4yo - I HAVE A LOT OF COMMOTIONS
Me - commotions?
4yo - *rolls eyes* like feelings, mom
Reader, she meant emotions.
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@CarissasNewLife
My mommy issues always trump my daddy issues so it’s probably a good thing I ended up dating men 😂
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I just weep for all of these women forced into encounters their bodies didn’t want for years on end because the church makes rape culture not only normal, but holy.
And that’s what coercion is - rape.
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God: “keep the marriage bed undefiled ”
@TGC
: “omg you guys have you ever thought about how the church is kinda like a vagina and God’s just out here railing it”
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means I am at peace. My marriage is a gift of mutual submission, fighting for each other and not against. I hate that the mindset I was indoctrinated into stole this from me for so many years.
Marriage is not nearly as hard as they make it seem - but abuse? Abuse absolutely is.
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What healthy, loving person wants to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with them?? Who feels obligated??? And what kind of god demands that of women from pulpits?????
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Did you know: an abuser with a firearm is 5x more likely to kill their victims. Nearly one million women alive RIGHT NOW have been shot or shot at by an intimate partner. 4.5 million women report being threatened via firearm by an intimate partner. Don’t arm abusers.
BREAKING: The Supreme Court said it will consider whether a 30-year-old federal law that prohibits people under domestic violence restraining orders from possessing guns violates the Second Amendment.
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@emilykmay
Clutch your pearls - we actually practiced making more children shortly after this.
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A little reminder that the most life-giving (and thus, I would argue, Christ-like) thing you can do is affirm your transgender child. 82% of transgender teens are suicidal, but family acceptance makes an LGBTQ+ member 50% less likely to attempt suicide.
but go off, TGC
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@stereochildomen
No, but I did explain that laws do very little to change abortion rates but things like paid parental leave, universal healthcare, free childcare, etc do a whole lot. And that’s a Democrat ticket item.
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Four years later, and I just really can’t believe that when I disclosed my ex’s physical abuse towards me my family’s response was, “well what did you do to him?”
I can’t even fathom responding that way to my own children
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*picking 5yo up from Sunday school*
5yo - “we read the SAME book again today” *eye roll*
Me - “you mean… the Bible?”
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Three months ago I sent out eighty love letters via international mail. We had been on/off for eighteen months. He’s not interested anymore, the letters will start arriving any day now, and I’ve decided this is simultaneously the most hysterical and pathetic thing I’ve ever done.
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I hate abortion. It makes me want to vomit. But you will never find me voting against abortion accessibility, because I don’t want a world where choices are taken from vulnerable populations. Instead, I’ll vote for a world where everyone has what they need to raise children.
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