Amanda Held Opelt
@AmandaHeldOpelt
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Songwriter, author of A Hole in the World & Holy Unhappiness (July ‘23). Writes about faith, the creative life, grief, & ritual. Rooted in Southern Appalachia.
Boone, NC
Joined November 2013
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Blessed are the unentitled- the ones hungry for the table scraps, the ones grasping desperately for the hem, the ones satisfied w/ the simple word of healing without the miraculous performance. They know there is power even in the remnants, the odds & ends. Theirs is the kingdom
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No one ever told me that committing to raising a child meant committing to be the one to walk with that child as they discover all the pain in the world. This week:
4 yr old: Mommy do all humans die someday?
Me: Yes.
4 yr old: Even me??
Me: *whimpers* Yes, sweetheart.
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If this democracy fails, I think history will look back & say it was due to the commodification of news. Media empires selling consumers the fiction they desired rather than the facts they needed, entertainment rather than info. It’s propaganda for the sake of profit.
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Between my child discovering all her teeth were gonna fall out (truly disturbing if you think about it) & her discovering she was mortal, it was A WEEK on the parenting front.
How do you comfort a child when you are just as scared, just as disturbed by something as they are?
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My sister
@rachelheldevans
complex-hard to categorize, difficult to put in a an ideological box, impossible to typecast. But she was defined by love; love as exemplified by Jesus. As someone who knew her well, maybe the best, I can confirm that was her truest identity.
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I am so tired of the political right telling me what it looks like to be a Christian. I want Jesus to tell me what it looks like to be a Christian.
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Today is my sister
@rachelheldevans
birthday. She would have been 39. She wrote these words in her book Inspired: “For too long, the white American church has chosen the promise of power over prophetic voice.” (1/3)
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You guys. I did not know.
I thought wordle was a word game. I did not know it was a communal ritual that was single-handedly restoring our belief that there is still goodness and beauty in the world.
I’m sorry. I did not know.
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How will I remember her? And what will I remember most? Hopefully, the wide-eyed wonder of our childhood. And the long history of love that only sisters share. I don’t have to remember ...because she is a part of me.
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I’d like to speak to Evangelicals.
If you are like me, you’ve spent most of your life being told that you have to vote Republican to be a good Christian.
I understand if your convictions prevent you from voting for a Democrat. But let me suggest something: 1/10
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Some might say she was a popular author. I would say she was a beloved author. To know the difference is to understand her, to truly understand her legacy.
She died 4 years ago today.
It feels like 4 minutes ago.
It feels like 4 centuries ago.
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We talk about resurrection at our house. She told me she believes God brings things back to life.
But she’s still scared of death.
So am I.
Fear and faith go hand and hand. That’s the complicated truth I’m trying to teach her.
Phew. This isn’t easy.
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Shout out to my fellow Xennials aka Oregon Trail Generation(b. 1977-1985): How has becoming an adult during 9/11, hitting your professional stride during the 2008 financial crisis, & experiencing a global pandemic during your childbearing/raising years messed with/impacted you?😬
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Joe Biden is profoundly skilled in the area of grief. I wish that competency for no one...
But gosh, do we need it in a commander-in-chief in this moment.
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When are we gonna start talking about how Air BnB is killing the housing market and making it impossible for the average person to purchase a home?
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On my mind today: how come I had to memorize the Periodic Table in school but was never taught about redlining? How come I once spent all weekend making a dodecahedron for geometry class, but never learned about the 1921 Tulsa Massacre?
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I’m curious… do you think our generation is ACTUALLY more depressed and anxious than previous generations? Or are we just more willing to admit it?
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Today was important to Rachel. This is from the last blog post she ever wrote:
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Gentle reminder that the early church grew like wildfire in large part because they: a) cared for the sick b) provided for the poor c) took in abandoned babies
d) embraced life together as a multiethnic community
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The more Christian leaders of notoriety I see fall, the more I am convinced that the future of the church rests not in the hands of celebrity pastors or social media influencers. It rests in the hands of humble pastors of small congregations, faithfully shepherding their flocks.
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Her voice here mattered. That’s what I’m thinking about tonight.
I’d be sad to lose this small (but important) part of her. Sometimes it feels like she’s getting further and further away.
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One thing I have learned in my grief: There are far more bereaved people in this world than I ever knew or cared to noticed. Remember that the people you interact with may be suffering quietly under the tyranny of grief. So be kind. Grace is never wasted.
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Above my sister’s desk are written (in her own handwriting) the words: “Be faithful to the work. Show up.” Today I choose to show up.
#rememberingRHE
@rachelheldevans
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I’m legitimately confused as to why anyone on a church staff would ever need to sign an NDA. Ever. Why?
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We regulate people’s access to drugs. We regulate people’s access to alcohol. We regulate people’s access to tobacco. We regulate people’s access to RENTAL CARS!!!!
We can do more to regulate their access to mass casualty weapons.
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My sister’s friends
@jeffchu
and
@sarahbessey
(who I am now privileged to call my friends) wrote a beautiful piece that captures the Rachel I knew, loved, and admired.
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Please. PLEASE don’t let anyone ever fool you into thinking you can “recover” from grief. I will never recover from the loss of my sister. From my miscarriages. I will survive. I will learn to carry it. I will integrate the losses into my life. But I will never recover. 👇
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When I get discouraged by the racism, religious elitism, abuse & nationalism that pervades our culture, I take heart remembering that this is PRECISELY the context Jesus stepped into. This is the story of Christianity: a movement of God in the midst of pride, injustice & idolatry
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To everyone who has prayed, made meals, sent flowers, emailed, cleaned house, sent cards, changed diapers, texted, driven, flown, posted remembrances, mowed lawns, offered encouraging words, listened; my family & I are deeply grateful. We are devastated. And we are pressing on.
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If I can wear a mask during labor and deliver, you can wear a mask to Walmart.
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🧵☘️Every year around Saint Patrick’s Day, I like to play a little game called, “Is it Ireland or Appalachia?”
Geologists believe that before the continents split, the hills of Ireland and highlands of Scotland were once part of the same mountain range as the Appalachians.
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May 4th will mark 5 years since Rachel died. That is the day her death certificate was signed, the day we started planning her funeral…
(A thread 🧵)
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Shamelessly boasting. New York Times bestseller list. She is still with us in so many ways. She always will be.
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On this day exactly a year ago, thousands of people from around the world - conservatives & liberals, progressives & fundamentalists, agnostics & evangelicals, fans and critics - all gathered around the hashtag
#PrayForRHE
.
From the bottom of my heart:
Thank you
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Curious to hear if your church acknowledged Juneteenth this morning. Anyone?
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What if we celebrated the following as much as we celebrated weight loss??:
1. Consistently getting 8 hours of sleep at night
2. Spending at least half an hour outside everyday
3. Remembering to breath really deeply every now and then
4. Having one good belly laugh a day
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…our founding documents also stated that slaves were 3/5 a person. Women weren’t allowed to vote. These documents were FAR from perfect and certainly not God breathed. America is not the kingdom of God. It never was. And to think it was is dangerously misinformed nostalgia. 6/10
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“The story isn’t over; even the greatest empires are no match for goodness, righteousness, and justice....
It might not look like it now, but the resistance is winning.”
These days, I feel that we are all utterly bereft of her prophetic voice.
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From the last blog
@rachelheldevans
ever wrote: “Death is part of life.”
I think I miss her the most on Ash Wednesday.
Today we repent, we name the mortality of our skin, we die to self. And in doing so, we embrace life.
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A professor once reminded me that if Christianity was a tree, American Evangelicalism wouldn’t be the trunk. It would be a tiny twig growing from one of countless small branches growing from larger branches.
Christ is the trunk.
Humility is the only way forward for the church.
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I can say with certainty that
@rachelheldevans
didn’t set out to build a brand, make a huge profit or create an empire. She was just crazy smart, deeply curious, profoundly intuitive, hardworking, & uncommonly compassionate. She was driven by love & people were drawn to that.
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I try to recognize the complexity & nuance in most social issues…
But I am STRUGGLING to understand the passion so many Christians maintain for guns…their utter rejection of any gun reform.
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Counselors and therapists are the unsung heroes of the pandemic.
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My little girl will never know a world in which a woman has not risen to this office.
Feeling
@rachelheldevans
presence and absence profoundly today.
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Today, my sister would have turned 40 years old. It’s hard for me to imagine her turning 40. It’s also hard for me to imagine her never turning 40. Sisters are supposed to grow old together.
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I’m convinced that one of the greatest testimonies believing Christians can have in the world today is the ability to embrace nuance, to resist unfair and reflexive categorization, and to enter dialogue with both grace and conviction. Imagine if we did that.
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Gentle reminder this week: not everyone has experienced America in the same way that you have experienced America.
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Couldn’t sleep last night. Somehow the release of this book makes her feel simultaneously so miraculously present AND so achingly absent.
Out today, All Souls Day,
@rachelheldevans
last book for adult readers. Endless thanks to
@jeffchu
We miss you, Rachel.
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As long as I live, I will never forget that a seditious mob stormed our country’s Capitol building while carrying the Christian flag and signs that say “Jesus Saves”... 1/2
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We had a baby last week!
Lois Evangeline, born on March 5th at 6:54pm. We are all healthy and doing well. So very grateful to God. (1/4)
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Judas betrayed Jesus in hopes of what he would gain. Peter denied Jesus in fear of what he would lose. The complete and utter regret of both these men is what’s speaking to me this Holy Week.
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The US has 4% of the world’s population. And yet it has 19% of the world’s Covid deaths. Turns out our value of unbridled, self-oriented, individualistic freedom may come with a cost.
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To the man at my in-laws church, who - during communion - came to find me in the lobby where I was comforting my restless 4-year-old and offered me the bread and wine…
thank you.
It’s so good to be seen in the house of God.
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“We could not become like God, so God became like us. God showed us how to heal instead of kill, how to mend instead of destroy...When we nailed God to a tree, God forgave. And when we buried God in the ground, God got up.”
@rachelheldevans
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Tucker Carlson just called Francis Collins an “old fool.”
😳
I have no words.
Francis Collins mapped the human genome.
So….
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Just out enjoying a nice day at the lake and the patriarchy strikes again.
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A well known pastor tweets that it’s good to read the Bible. People respond w/ both praise & scathing criticism. They litigate his exact wording. Sides are formed. People get mad.
Is this Christianity, y’all? Is this what we are really doing w/ our time & energy?
I’m so tired.
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You can withdraw your support from candidates who won’t pass meaningful gun reform. You can inform candidates/legislators that they will not have your coveted Evangelical vote if they accept donations from the NRA or seek to block meaningful gun reform 2/10
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Still doesn’t feel real.
I am so deeply thankful for her life.
I miss her.
Today Rachel’s headstone was installed. It’s impossible to sum up a life with clipart and a couple lines of text. There are times in life we must attempt the impossible.
I will always miss you Rach. Thank you for everything you did for our family.
#rememberingRHE
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Regardless of your politics, every Christian should stand up and object when racism and misogyny is used as a campaign strategy. Do I even need to tweet this?
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So I will speak out on this. And you can too. Don’t be afraid. It’s ok to break “rank & file.” Let’s not leave it to grieving parents & child survivors to do the work of ending this American terror. I pray evangelicals are not remembered as people who loved their weapons… 9/10
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We have so many Prophets right now and so few Pastors.
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I know I’m not the only one today reflecting on the fact that baby Jesus, God incarnate, was once part of a family seeking asylum in Egypt, fleeing violence in their homeland. We wouldn’t take too kindly to baby Jesus being snatched from Mary’s arms.
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One thing I wish more people understood: grief is not just sadness. It’s a veritable potpourri of a million different emotions: fear, anxiety, guilt, dread, anger, confusion, numbness, disillusionment, etc. Grief is SO MUCH MORE than sadness.
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Laws against abortion won’t change people’s hearts, probably won’t stop all abortions, yet you support these laws because they are seen as a safeguard for the innocent. The same can be true about gun reform. 4/10
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Hey Twitter people:
Tell me about a pastor who loved well…who shepherded humbly, empowered people, walked with them through doubt & trial, faithfully ministered the word.
Tell me about that person.
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Our job as believers is not to scare people into repentance, but rather to love them into belonging.
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I also know that you’ve been told that laws don’t change hearts, only God changes hearts. But you are allowed to use the same logic by which you fought for legislation around abortion for legislation around gun control. 3/10
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Why do you think so many Christians always insist on silver linings, bright sides, and immediate redemptive story arc when they experience suffering?
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All that energy trying to keep CRT out of schools…
If we could spend just a FRACTION of it on keeping guns out of schools…
Lord, have mercy on us.
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Seeing lots of stories about how Ralph is a great student, an accomplished bass clarinet player.
I LOVE celebrating who he is like that, but also…
He doesn’t need to have accomplished all those things for us to believe in our guts that his life matters, that this is a tragedy.
16-year-old high school junior Ralph Yarl was shot and wounded by a homeowner after mistakenly going to the wrong home to pick up his siblings in Kansas City, Missouri, police said.
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A commitment to the 2nd Amendment is not a commitment to Christian values. You can withhold your vote without compromising your values. Evangelicals are one of the largest voting blocks in this country. Show lawmakers that you are a voting block that cares about kid’s safety.7/10
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It is not lost on me that Holy Week of 2020 is the week the scientists and experts say may be our hardest week of this Pandemic, perhaps the darkest days Americans have seen for generations. Holy Week of 2019 was the hardest week of my life. (1/4)
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Is it just me, or does this whole Super Bowl (commercials, Halftime show) seem catered to Geriatric Millennials?
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Death came to visit me in the last year. I’m guessing it visited many of you. Today, we get to look it in the eye. We get to wear on our faces what we know in the marrow. We are people of dirt and ash. And if that leaves me with nothing else, may it give me a heart of wisdom.
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Please remember- every time you post something about Covid-19 being a hoax or a simple nuisance/no big deal, somewhere out there, someone is watching their family be ravaged by this virus. Let the knowledge of that & some measure of compassion inform how you speak & what you post
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I’m fine with “faith over fear.” I’m not fine with “faith” over truth, faith over service, faith over sacrifice.
If your faith does not lead you to love your neighbor, it’s not faith in Jesus
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“We have allied ourselves with the empire and, rather than singing songs of hopeful defiance with the exiles, created more of them. We have consciously and unconsciously, done the bidding of the Beast. (2/3)
BUT...
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My parents just got their first dose of the COVID-19 Moderna vaccine.
And that feeling I’m feeling is my jaw loosening, my shoulders relaxing, my breath deepening.
Death still feels too near to me. But tonight, I’ll sleep better than I have in 11 months.
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I know we all look back on the Incarnation w/ a lot of longing & adoration.
But it’s good to remember that almost everyone Jesus encountered while he was on earth was disappointed in him as Messiah.
He was too lowly, too radical, not radical enough, too welcoming...
Except…
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Finally, I know our founding documents (i.e. the 2nd Amendment) are sometimes seen within Evangelical culture as words inspired by God. They are not. Some of our founders were Christians & some of those Christian values were reflected in our founding documents. BUT…5/10
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Just so we are clear: when we say “Healthcare systems will soon be overwhelmed by the virus” ...by “systems” we mean PEOPLE- brave docs & nurses who have already been putting their lives on the line for months. For their sakes: Keep your distance. Wear masks. Stop being selfish.
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...all on Epiphany, a day where the church collectively acknowledges that Jesus alone is Lord, the power hungry Herods of the world come to nothing, and our kingdom is not of this world.
If this is not a moment of reckoning, of revelation, of Epiphany, I don’t know what is. 2/2
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To be clear, those of us who believe this country has a gun problem do not deny that this country ALSO has a mental health problem. And as a person of faith, I also believe we are experiencing a spiritual crisis. That we need God’s help.
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@_nomadic_soul
It’s kinda like
@philvischer
is shepherding millennial evangelical Christians through all the stages of their faith journey-like he knows what we need in each season. When we were kids, we needed singing vegetables. Now we need help defying Christian nationalism. Thanks Mr. Phil!
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Sometimes it just feels like people are more committed to their “causes” than to the people those causes are supposed to help.
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As my family and I prepare to travel to Colorado for
@EvolvFaith
I wanted to share some thoughts on grief & gratefulness. And talk a little about
@rachelheldevans
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On National Siblings Day, I am blessed with the memory of a wonderful sister who was my playmate, confidant, mentor and inspiration.
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And I think a lot of it is due to this: it’s not that the Faith is not what we thought it was... or that Jesus is not who we thought He was. It’s that the subculture surrounding Him was not what we thought it was.
A lot of talk in faith circles about deconstructing. I don’t think what I’ve been through in the last 5 years has been deconstructing. I think it’s been more of a nervous breakdown.
PS. Before Christian Post writes “Author confesses to breakdown,” I’m kidding.
PSS. Jesus holds.
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Finally. I don’t usually tweet politics or hot button issues. I don’t quite have the fortitude/courage/decisiveness that my sister had in that way. But I have 2 young daughters. And my work in aid took me to places where I’ve seen more kids with bullet wounds than I care to tell.
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For your Ash Wednesday, the last blog Rachel ever wrote: "You know this truth deep in your bones: 'Remember that you are dust and to dust you will return.' Death is part of life...
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I don’t normally engage like this on SM. But I feel a need to post something for the record.
If Rachel was passionate, direct, and severe in her critique of folks like Wilson, it is perhaps, in part, because of me. 1/7
Rachel Held Evans was one of the early leaders of the Twitter swarm: she would publicly critique (and often slander and misrepresent) the object of her ire, and the mob would do their job, as if on cue.
Doug Wilson was one of her targets.
Samuel James reflects here on the
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Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Here is a little game I like to play called “Is it Ireland or Appalachia?”
Geologist believe that before the continents split, the hills of Ireland and highlands of Scotland were once part of the same mountain range as the Appalachians.
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“Blessed are those who put America first” is not a thing Jesus said.
You can love your country, serve her, protect her... without idolizing her. Her prosperity is not to be equated with Kingdom prosperity.
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She was the C.S. Lewis of her time.
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CHURCH: how we respond to this moment may define Christianity in America for generations to come. Do not be played. Let’s not trade the kingdom for an empire. Rise up and meet your calling. We will not get this moment back.
Let me be clear. This is revolting. The Bible is not a prop. A church is not a photo op. Religion is not a political tool. God is not your plaything.
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