Alton “Del Rio”🚣🏼🦑🦀
@AltonHensch
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UT24 Marine and Freshwater Science major | Norse pagan | Bisexual they/them 🏳️⚧️| dating @patiencejanine 🩵🩷
Texas, USA
Joined February 2017
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Found a crab on the floor in my lab. None of us research crabs, I don’t know where he came from
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@drafoxter
Fairly certain the crab is a local species because no one at our facility researches crabs or uses them as feed, also worth noting the crab was dead when I found it
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One thing about me is that I’m gonna hype up Texas as a cultural boundary til the day I die. The Texas state government? Absolute trash. The natural beauty and gorgeous blend of cultures and people? Fucking amazing
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Y’all my TA for one of my classes just liked my tweet complaining about the due dates
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Just a quick reminder my gf is super cute and hot and funny and hot and sweet
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Y’all turns out skipping Ochem for two weeks was a bad idea, cause now I have a midterm tomorrow and don’t know anything
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I will in fact be basing my entire personality around my new hat thank you very much
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I wish all profs who set the due date right before class time a very please stop
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It feels so weird to think that he’s gone, I just saw him on Friday. I still remember him mixing Billy Joel into the XC playlist cause he knew that’s what I liked. He was a good teammate and a good friend, and the world is a worse place without him. We’ll miss you.
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I know that Texans get made fun of for how much they talk up Texas, out government is terrible and actively hates us, but I have a legitimate and deep love for the state and it’s natural beauty
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I want to know why I can’t ver seem to muster the courage to come out to my parents. Every time I’m in a spot and I think I could come out to them right now I can never say the words. If I can’t even tell them I’m Bi how am I ever going to say I’m not your son cause I’m not a man
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I have somehow infiltrated Aggie Twitter and I’m not sure how
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I may not be a man but I fucking love doing stereotypical man shit, like woodworking in the summer heat on back porch while drinking so that I can have a rod holder for my fishing poles
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Happy National GF day to the kindest and most sexy person I know!
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I’m thinking about making wooden boxes and other small things like spoon rests and knick knacks. How interested do y’all think people would be in something like that?
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Just a reminder that I am in fact trans and I am not a man
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Only in New Mexico could this be purchased at a gas station in the middle of nowhere
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Why yes I do smoke cigars because of the phallic imagery, what of it?
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Walking around campus with a rock in my hand has filled my mind with more intrusive thoughts than anything else I’ve ever done. The genetic legacy of Cain lives on
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The gods said prove how much of a Texan you are and promptly broke my cars AC in the middle of a record heat wave
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Happy birthday to the most gorgeous and loving and kind person I know!
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This is anti mowing account I hate mowing as a practice. Let the native plants grow let them over take the pavement
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Why are people online so afraid of dirt or germs or just anything that isn’t hyper sanitized. Live a little, walk barefoot, get some dirt under your nails, eat a hot dog off the ground
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I’m actually a petty person and hate when people talk about escaping the south, like it’s not a place to escape it’s a place to make better
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I’m gonna come right out and say it: I fucking love spam, I love that homogenized cube of meat, I love it fried or right out of the can, spam is fucking good
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There’s a lot of Aggies in there for me being a Longhorn
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The sailor returns from sea and finds they have been bestowed a great honor in their absence
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I fear I have made the first step to becoming a Big Knife guy
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Cleaned all the beer cans off my work desk and found my graphing calculator I’ve been missing all semester
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@byejudymoody
I’m gonna come right out and say it: even if they were actually trying to eat me that’s ok because I’m in their home and they’ve been around way longer than me
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Not to flex on y’all but I can make a vomit sound so realistic that sympathetic vomiters get triggered
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Just listened to a great talk about squids from
@SarahMackAttack
, very interesting, I left knowing more about squid bioluminescence than when I walked in.
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This account is not a safe space for feral hogs, they do not deserve respect and are delicious
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I’m fascinated by how low the population density is along much of the Texas coast, it seems like a place that would see high levels of development but outside the two major urban areas it just isn’t there
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The fucking gorilla grip the puritans still have on America like four hundred years later is ridiculous
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One thing about me is that I fucking love cowboy culture from all places. That shit rules in every shape and size.
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IM TOO FUCKING GOOD IM THE GOAT, THEY SAID YOU CANT MAKE A SOUP SO PURPLE IT WONT BE GOOD BUT THEH WERE WRONG. THE HATERS DIDNT WANT TO SEE ME COOK IN THE KITCHEN BUT THEY COULDNT STOP ME
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Pre-River Trip date in the books, I’m gonna miss you this week
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The grip iced coffee has on college campuses, how is the feels like temp 16 and y’all are still getting an iced coffee
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I sometimes struggle with how I relate to my own transness, and how it relates to the way I present. I love the way o dress but I’m painfully aware of how it makes me read as hyper masculine to most everybody
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There’s a old man in one of my anthropology courses that takes his notes in the most unhinged way I’ve ever seen; he writes them out in gmail and copy-pastes the slide images into the email.
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I’m going to run for public office on the platform of banning those fucking LED headlights
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In the depths of my “It’s so over” I found an indomitable “We’re so back”
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Mine is an essence of fire and life, for I live life to its fullest and I work a mean grill
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Start degentrifying your neighborhood by repeatedly discharging a firearm at 3:00 in the morning
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I am actually consumed by hatred for my chem lab, I am filled with hate it occupies my thoughts at all times, I am never free from it. If I am thinking about school at all I am being filled with wrath for my chem lab
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The spirit of decorating enters my body and I am consumed by it
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I just learned the national average for number of hot dogs consumed a year is 70…
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I am stuck in an eternal struggle between hating dense urban environments and understanding that it’s the best way to house massive amounts of people
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I love Texas so much y’all but I wish we weren’t run by a large group of monkeys on typewriters
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I like a lot of tweets without reading them, then go back and read them and say you know what I’m taking my like back that didn’t earn it
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My journey to become a caricature of a Texan is going well. I am sitting and drinking coffee out of a Texas does it better mug, wearing a burnt orange plaid pearl snap shirt, boot cut jeans, a Texas flag hat, and moccasins I made myself
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I need all the freshman to decide going to class sucks cause there’s too many people here right now
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I am a veritable demigod of the open road. The miles quake before me, the engine hums with a little more power, and the rubber meets the road with torque perfectly applied. My pace is the wind and the stops are perfectly timed
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Y’all my prof just gave us a statistical breakdown with historic data why we suck at his class
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Just ate a German meal so good I forgot how to drive
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It is my personal belief that if you cannot stomach the thought of raising you the animal whose meat you would eventually eat, then you should not eat meat.
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In my geography class just now a student asked about an issue with the e textbook and my elderly professor’s response was just “oh god that doesn’t sound good”
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Y’all please I’m begging look at how hot patience is
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When I’m listening to a song and the lead says “Hit it” and some guy starts going ham on the piano/fiddle that instantly makes the song ten times better
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To the asshat in New York who made my gf cry, count your fucking days
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REI has sunk its vicious talons into me and I fear my fortune shall soon be lost
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If I see one more meme laughing about how Texas needs help with the snow I will advocate for secession.
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Breakfast tacos in this city are trash, you can get a better breakfast taco from the worst gas station in South Texas than you can from like a decent place in Austin.
We're canceling each other over AUSTIN FOOD TAKES today. What's your most cancelable Austin food take?
Mine: Austin BBQ is the best in Texas
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What fucking rules is that it’s 8:22 pm and it’s still daylight. Summer goes so fucking hard
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I want to know why this dumb fucking cow school makes me pay 300 dollars for a lot pass as a commuter student only for there to not be any goddamn parking available
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Why am I, an adult, being forced to suffer the torment of popcorn reading class again.
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Y’all this guy was my Challenge of the Greeks TA at UT and let me tell you he is even cooler and sweeter in person
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I would like for Doja Cat to do terrible things to me
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