Adaeze, The Tired.
@Adaezae_1
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Public health| Fighting R| Strawberry daiquiris| Sleeping| Reading| Buying books. In no particular order.
Joined March 2018
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I was heartbroken when my soldier husband, against my wishes, brought home wife after wife after the Civil War.
Weary from the war, it was the last straw; so I stopped fighting my illness. I left behind eight children.
I vowed to not take such disrespect in my next life.
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“Dear HR,
Thank you for your response. I could sense the empathy in the previous email.
However, I regret to inform you that I reject your rejection. I will be present on the premises on the 9th of January to acquaint myself with the team.
Best wishes,
Adaeze.”
In 2024, if a job rejects your application, reject their rejection.
Hold them for neck. No gree for anybody.
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Me: Daddy, this mango is sweet. Thank you.
*the next day*
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I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.
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All First Daughters and First Borns should have Project Management on their CVs. If you’re now both, you’re a Senior Project Manager.
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-Group chats are muted.
-Phone never on DND because of emergencies.
-All switches are off if not in use/if I’m absent.
-I hate unnecessary noise.
-Showing up even when I don’t feel like it.
-Always eager to go home.
-Solitude can be a gift, I enjoy it.
-More prayerful.
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Everyday, adults who soak bread in tea walk amongst us, and the government does nothing about it.
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Myself. With all due respect.
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On a video call with this man. He yawned, and I yawned back. Next thing he said, “Aura for aura.”
Twitter, this is your fault 😒
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I’m obligated. It’s my duty. I will leave everything I’m doing if need be. And the best part is that I know it’ll be reciprocated.
Do y’all feel like y’all are obligated to help y’all siblings ? In any capacity?
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Had this Gen Z colleague. You fit dey doze off for work, you go wake up see yourself for her TikTok as content “Rate my colleagues sleeping faces at work. Adaeze 2/10, eyes not closed completely.” 😭
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I’m sorry Chioma. In boarding school they used to count to 10 for some of us to eat and get out of the dining hall, and now eating fast is a habit 😂
Chew your food slowly, where are you rushing to?
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Me when my Honta Accute stops in the middle of Nnamdi Azikiwe Expressway and the system announces “A daala m suspension, a daala m suspension.”
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Nothing like shame with siblings. We’re in a crowded place maintaining composure and our brother brings out a small lollipop. In front of everyone present, my sister tells him, “Cut for me.”
I shifted from them 🖐🏾
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I don receive promotion letter o. So these people are not yet tired of me after 4 years?
Anyways on a more serious note, congratulations and cheers to me on this new achievement 🥂😂
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"And that's flex."
Just one phone call can change everything!
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Federal schools? I learned to open padlocks without keys, bathe with 3 bailers of water max, finish a meal in 15 seconds, tell the most colourful lies, scale fences, sleep on the blade of a razor without falling off, and eat weird concoctions.
The ghetto.
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That’s when they will want to go and eat fish and drink Arabian tea at Ibro Fish/Today’s Bukka. Attention seeking, flirtatious, audacious creatures 😂
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I don’t care how you want to ask me to marry you, but please…don’t go and hide engagement ring inside my eba. I beg you.
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Ordinary rice and stew I cooked this morning, I’ve gone to lie down.
Up Hilda please!
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Me, reconnecting with my environment after my subscription has expired.
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Your biggest opp growing up is your immediate younger sibling, your best friend is your last born that you senior with 16 years.
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Nobody:
My siblings to me:
-I have misplaced my birth certificate, help!
-What is our home address again?
-Please read my essay and give feedback.
-I have a boil on my leg (sends pic).
-Please help me tell Daddy to send me money.
-Do you have a soft copy of my passport?
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Nigerian families are funny man. You could just come home for SS2 long holidays and your parents would hand you a new born baby talking about, “This is your new sibling.”
16 years later, that sibling is now your bff 😂😂
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What I really enjoy about adulthood is that nobody really is going to beat me. There might be consequences, yes, but who will beat me? No one.
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For me at age 8, it was living in a duplex. So imagine my wonder when our parents moved us from a flat to a duplex.
I stood at the bottom of the stairs and stared up. Me? Adaeze, with step inside her house? 𝘚𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘱𝘱𝘱𝘱 😂
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“As God would have it, his girl friend started annoying him.”
What if your soulmate is in a relationship???
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It is the year 1999. You are 8 years old at a birthday party. Evi Edna’s “Happy Birthday” is playing loudly. You’re eating party jollof & fried meat from a plastic blue plate. They hand you a cold bottle of Gold Spot and you think to yourself, “It can’t get better than this.”
It's a hot Saturday afternoon and you can only choose one. 🤨🥤
[IG - adxnnart]
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Please. If the doctor recommends a caesarean section for you, take it. You are not a Hebrew woman. You're a Nigerian woman, dear.
Maternal death dey serious for our side.
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It became a relationship. He proposed to me 6 months later. We married the following year. I’m happy. He’s happy. Our daughter will be 6 in May. We live in Canada now.
God is good.
What happened to your last talking stage? Yes, I’m talking to you 🫵
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For all my love for books, I avoid self-help books.
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By seeking a guy that is chalanting about you.
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Sure 😬
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This is rainy season. Know what that means? These mfs will be looking for where to enjoy their lives. And where is that? Your skin.
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He’s chalanting somewhere else, if you like don’t go and rest.
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Imagine the kid’s image doesn’t show in the pictures you take to send to the ur parents as proof of life. Or nobody comes for the missing child. Kid starts to crawl on walls. You manage to return am where you pick am, but pikin go still show for your hideout, “I missed you.”
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When Akin caught Yejide and his brother in bed and she saw him but waited until Akin’s brother finished while maintaining eye contact.
When I tell you I closed the book, took some deep breaths and went outside to look at some trees or something 💀
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Periods are like OS updates. But instead of bug fixes, you unlock new symptoms. This month leg dey pain you. In 2 months time it’s your back.
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Noise in the morning. Conversations immediately after waking up.
I need to defrost.
As you get older, what is something that becomes increasingly annoying?
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Audiegwu
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Imagine receiving 5 “Have you eaten?”s
I would just off my phone 😭
Talking to multiple people romantically is so draining and useless
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You’re moving to me but I see your tweets daily about how you like big booties and can’t live without it.
Please follow who get big yansh, leave me alone, I no carry yansh 😭🤲🏾
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The first one will be perfect.
Then you draw the other wing and keep trying to match them until you draw aeroplane wings on your face.
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I think sleeping off while reading in bed, with the book on your chest, is one of the little pleasures in life. The sleep dey too sweet.
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Everybody is trying to be smarter than the other person in romantic relationships these days.
That’s a problem.
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I’m available for company end of year parties, guys. I have a sense of humor, so I can understand office jokes and I will laugh on cue.
I have blazer and black trouser and bob wig so I will fit in very well and I will say nice things about you so they will consider promoting you
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Randomly remembered that some of you came here to say there’s an ‘epidemic’ of PCOS, endometriosis and other things due to ‘careless lifestyle’.
I randomly think of it and get annoyed.
Once again, you lot are foolish and I hope you hit your smallest toe on iron table leg.
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I don't think I can enjoy serenity in any other church asides from the Catholic church.
The rituals of the Mass is soothing. I may have my qualms about some current developments or practices, but I prefer being Catholic.
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People who only eat when they’re shaking/dizzy are in the same group with people who wait till their phones are at 1% before charging.
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I love how Igbo Language differentiates between food that fills the belly and those that don't.
"Rie" is for heavy foods like yam, rice, beans.
"Taa" is for light foods like snacks, pieces of meat, bread.
Obi can 'rie' ji (yam) but not bread.
Ada can 'taa' akị but not beans.
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It's called humour when skinny people are dragged.
It's called bodyshaming when the other spectrum is dragged.
Una dey weak me.
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For my next trick, I will survive on 5k till the end of October.
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-I found it difficult to hate Berlin
-Nairobi is the littest person there
-Tokyo and Rio need serious flogging
-Professor is so adorable I just want to hug him
-Denver taking Daddy duties melted my heart
-Hated Arturo
-Oslo was useless
-How could I stan robbers so hard?
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A boyfriend that won't stress me, for starters.
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That high-achiever-‘gifted’ child/teen
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mortal-fear-of-mediocrity
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still-feels-stagnant-despite-efforts
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knowing-you-can-do-better adult pipeline is too common.
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Just go to the station and turn yourself in to the Olops, dawg.
But there is no record of such a child so Olops think you are mad. But that’s just the beginning.
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@Oli_Ekun
Was in the front seat of Danfo, approaching some officers. The seatbelt was not working so the driver just took it and wrapped around my neck like rope. The officers looked at me and nodded in approval before waving us off.
I didn’t know which one shocked me more 😭😭
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Hello everyone. I thought today I'd share a few facts about handcrafted/made soap, as it's my hustle.
-Handmade soap takes about 4-6 weeks to cure before it can be used. This is because water in the recipe needs to evaporate, so you'll have a durable bar. The wait is worth it!
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Absolutely loved her too. A ray of sunshine and would cry at the slightest provocation. Very teachable, yet had a mind of her own. Hope she’s doing great wherever she is ❤️
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A couple of the handmade body soaps I love to spend time making.
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We probably met our parents when they had less, attended 'cheaper' schools, didn't eat take out often or go to fancy places. Some of us didn't dress as we pleased, were taught to be suspicious of people, cared for kids we didn't birth. We were 'disciplined' a lot of times,
Who else noticed that first daughters are always strict, economical and calculative?
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You go call parents to ask for ransom, the parents will be thanking you.
“Ah Sir/Ma, you don’t know what you have done for us. Jesus Igweeee!”
Then they will cut the call and block your number.
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Igbo people are just funny. Which one is ‘Coolue down’? 😂😂😂
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Super excited because it’s 5 days till my beloved Ude Akị Bars are ready!
I lovingly made these with black palm kernel oil, castor oil and peppermint essential oil. The lather is gorgeous and it leaves a minty sensation after rinsing off.
Please RT, thank you!
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We need their skincare routine
Enough with the KEKE PALMER shi.t
Don't y'all crave Puff-puff?? 🥺
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@thezikora
Fostering reconciliation and team work through creation of chaos. Love to see it.
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Once again Ladies, please have a pad or two in your bags when you're stepping out because you never know which sister might need it unexpectedly.
Just helped someone with mine. Passed it to her in a book lol.
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-At work don’t take things personal, you fit craze.
-Know when to rest: from work, from people, even from enjoyment.
-If e didn’t dey, e didn’t dey. Don’t force anything. Allow.
-Feel everything, that’s how to get over it faster.
-Prioritize your family, always.
-Have friends.
based on what you learned this year, what’s a piece of advice you would give to someone else?
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@HipHopAndHoodoo
My dear. I carried, bathed, fed and fought for them. They’re my baby brothers and height not tax paying won’t change that 😂
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A short story on how I could not say no to this girl:
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Forever stealing your stuff and going, "But you gave it to me."
Bịa if you don't take that top off before I slap you into next week!
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Me when it’s time:
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Whoever said that conversations die when you take them to WhatsApp, deserves a Nobel Prize.
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“Rie nsị” is one of the most emotional Igbo insults I’ve ever heard in my life. Just two words with so much impact.
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Wasn’t even concentrating during the sermon until the priest started talking about the evils of profiling youth. He directly told the congregation, “These people are killing our children.” He talked about how people carry Nokia torch to avoid harm these days.
Small small!
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A very important question: Do y’all even like the women y’all are with?
Some of you ladies need to understand that your boyfriend has no business in knowing your menstrual cycle.
You shouldn't have any discussion that has to do with menses with him. Get some shame abeg!!
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A short story of coconut milk, honey & oatmeal coming together to create something special:
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I don’t litter. All wrappings are in my bags/pockets until I find a bin.
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Be firm with your children o. Gentle parenting is not about letting kids do whatever they want.
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My best friend has a degree in telecommunications engineering. So far she is unemployed and it hurts to see her hurt; she's a hard worker and very creative.
Any opportunity is welcomed please. And help me RT abeg 😭😭😭😭
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Love and effort are absolutely correlated. If you like, be lazy in your relationship then act surprised when the other person says they’re not doing again.
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Oh, here’s a recommendation
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I'm actually worried about people who need something to excite them before they start their day. You cannot wake up and function without a stimulant? No usual determination to fuel you? Why must you take something?
People who raw dog life should definitely be feared. No coffee or energy drinks in the morning??? No pre-workout or music in the gym??? What are you even fueled on??? Your thoughts??? Hate??? Yeah, I’m scared of you
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Soap, soap and more soap! I'm proud to announce that they're now available to order. Lagos residents can get same-day or next-day delivery, and nationwide delivery is also available.
Check out this thread to see what's available for youuu 😊😊
RT!
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Reasons why this is not a good idea:
-Uniforms help to identify students/kids in public
-They save cost of changing clothes everyday; poorer students benefit
-They reduce risk of inferiority complex; everyone in a uniform is equal on school grounds
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