ALAB Series
@ALABSeries
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an infrequent podcast about the law from @wyatt_privilege , @allahliker , @garliccorgi , and @ugarles (music: @gloomfather , art: @maskthemovie )
Joined August 2019
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Pinned Tweet
tarik finally stopped playing with the kittens for exactly long enough to edit and post this. this being episode 4 of our Alex Jones Miniseries. enjoy
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Our official legal advice to all police departments is to continue doing this
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This person understands the Supreme Court better than 95% of people who obsess over it
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By god he did it. Neal just won this case. Child slavery is now legal! Thanks everybody!
We need all ALAB listeners to give your energy to
@neal_katyal
today as he defends Nestle for profiting from child slavery because being punished for it would be bad for Nestle and other American companies who would like to also profit from child slavery. Good luck today Neal!
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The guy who wrote the torture memo is currently a tenured prof at Berkeley. That’s what’s gonna happen
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The Federalist Society sowing: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
The Federalist Society reaping:
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this listener email captures the essence of the lawyer soul and existence better than a hundred podcast episodes ever could
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All Lawyers Except For This One Guy
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We need all ALAB listeners to give your energy to
@neal_katyal
today as he defends Nestle for profiting from child slavery because being punished for it would be bad for Nestle and other American companies who would like to also profit from child slavery. Good luck today Neal!
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Some good news: Looks like mass execution of protestors would violate the constitution
Trump doesn't care at all about the Constitution, of course, especially when he's trying to scare voters. But actually following a policy of "when the looting starts, the shooting starts" would violate the 4th Amendment, for starters. See Tennessee v. Garner, 471 U.S. 1 (1985).
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Nothing in American politics has as much bipartisan consensus as starving the people of Iran
Biden says U.S. will not lift sanctions against Iran unless Tehran stops enriching uranium
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no podcast, legal or otherwise, has ever changed a society for the better quite like we have. truly humbling
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next episode delayed six to twelve weeks as Richie Deals has been murdered
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Now I hope this isn’t disrespectful, but my client and everyone like him are fucki
I spoke to the "QAnon Shaman" Jacob Chansley's attorney, Albert Watkins, for this story. Here's what he had to say...
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The inventors of the legal podcast return, once again totally reinventing the art form. No longer content to merely report on the stories, ALAB dares to *become* the story. Monumental.
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what i really want to know, counselor --all i really want to know-- is who tipped you off that i am corrupt
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@HarassmentChamp
“They asked if I felt I was in danger and I was like absolutely. Sike I did it cause I’m racist. Hope they never see this or I’m fucked lol.”
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our country has a very healthy relationship with its institutions
Conservative women, who support Judge Amy Coney Barrett’s nomination to the Supreme Court, pray while touching the doors of the Court as Jacquelyn Booth cries on the ground, mourning the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
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one universally good piece of advice: be the granddaughter of a supreme court justice
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only by expanding the court and adding anywhere between three (3) and six (6) additional sheltered perverts from yale law school can the american people help rbg's tortured ghost find peace
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Going berserk on yelp because PF Chang’s didn’t roll out the red carpet for my anime voice actor girlfriend
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oh, addison cain of wolf porno fame? yeah, she's an alab listener
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Lotta people been asking so our advice to 1Ls is go to a top school, get straight A+s, and clerk scotus
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this gentleman was standing alongside desantis in broward when they announced their $4M fishing expedition had busted 20 ex cons for voting erroneously, and vowed more to come. good night sweet prince. your race is run
Pete Antonacci, who runs
@GovRonDeSantis
’ elections investigation office and a long-time Florida Politics insider, has died of a massive heart attack, sources tell
@Fla_Pol
.
#FlaPol
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Nestlé USA, Inc. v. Doe, 593 U. S. ____ (2021) (previously enslaved child)
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allow us to introduce you to, lawyers
Re: Court packing, I haven't seen this addressed: Could Biden even find a plausible judge willing to be a 10th SCOTUS justice? It might be hard to find a self-respecting judge willing to go down in history as a brazenly partisan tool.
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Judge: Counsel, what's the standard applicable to your client's claim?
Lawyer: Google is free, Your Honor.
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pleased to announce we just crossed 1M total listens in only 21 episodes! which means we can relax a little and slow down the breakneck pace
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look around at the legion of gibbering, venal dumbasses with active law licenses. consider the sheer number of them. the mosaic of awfulness. now consider what a freak you have to be to get thrown out of that detestable club
Earlier this hour, 5 Leftist judges decided to suspend my father
@rudygiuliani
’s law license. Here is my statement:
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SUBJ: RE: The Governor Would Like Me To Memorialize His Sexual Harassment of You In Writing
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In the first installment of our Alex Jones Miniseries, we explore how Alex became Alex, and how the country became a little Alex too.
All series music by the god
@gloomfather
.
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As my eyes dart across the line of food trucks parked along the street, I feel a bead of sweat forming at my brow. The sounds of the city street are drowned out by my own racing pulse. My coworker Giuseppe repeats his question:
"Which truck do you want to go to?"
He knows.
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BREAKING: Justice Ginsburg admitted to The John Hopkins Hospital for treatment of a possible infection, according to Supreme Court.
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???
I’m moving my family and leaving my job in a few months. But after that, ALAB’s coming back. Summer 2024. Got one other project going too with Tarik.
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This is what law/econ guys actually believe
@tomcowan
This won't cure people faster, and Biden just destroyed untold valuable hours of people lives in creating valuable innovations that made possible unprecedented biopharma response to COVID-19, and he just made the next pandemic worse when innovations won't be there to stop it.
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In 2018, Florida voted to give felons back the right to vote. The Florida legislature shitcanned that by putting it behind a paywall where you can’t even figure out what’s owed. Now they’re putting guys in jail who get it wrong. We talk through it here:
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checking in on this one
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women quit stomping on men’s dreams challenge
How do I (22F) make my boyfriend (23M) understand that he can’t drop out of law school to be a full time podcaster.
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got a Black guy in your jury pool and the judge won't buy your pretextual for-cause challenge? simply arrange to have him arrested the next time he comes in for jury duty.
In his latest column,
@hassankanu
writes about an opinion issued last week by the New Jersey Supreme Court that begins to address a little-known practice of conducting criminal history checks on prospective jurors
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*normal voice* I have the utmost personal respect for Professor *loud narrator overdub* CHUA
These emails from some of my current and former students are part of what’s inspiring me.
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Gonna spend the rest of the year antagonizing law students from this account
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and we live in a world where alyssa milano's podcast has 100,000x the listeners of ALAB
We live in a world WHERE JOE ROGAN’s PODCAST HAS TRIPLE THE LISTENERS AS MINE!! Dear god.
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listeners bullied charles into buying a real microphone. a win for democracy
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The thing law students do *maybe* more than other people is stressbrag and post a pic of a stack of books and a coffee and go “yay it’s the weekend 🙄”
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Josh Blackman is the testifying for the GOP today at the Merrick Garland confirmation hearings.
A senator MUST ask him, under oath, to explain his eight-monitor display set-up.
My New Eight-Monitor Display. I added a mini-monitor, right behind my camera, to serve as a teleprompter during Zoom sessions.
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In-depth video up now from
@thelindsayellis
about the Omegaverse lawsuit we covered a while back. Thanks for the shout out
If you want to hear more watch her video here:
Listen to our episode here:
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okay so maybe we were wrong and it's good that most judges are so old they don't know what an email is
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those impish ALAB boys are back on their bullshit and refilling the ALAB Series trough with some of the newest and sloppiest slop yet. come for the laughs, stay for the sound of Andy broadcasting from inside an oil drum. l'chaim!
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look, we weren't this lady's biggest fans but even we wouldn't do her this dirty
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immediately after we went on
@TrueAnonPod
to discuss how SCOTUS is increasingly a pageant and spectacle for elite yale nerds to keep cycling hollow wins and losses in the culture wars, it significantly walks backs the recent "big win" for LGBTQ workers in Bostock
#SCOTUS
rules 7-2 that employment discrimination suits by teachers fired by Catholic elementary schools are barred by “ministerial exception”
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driving at 100 mph into a fake tunnel painted on a brick wall, to own the libs
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Now that your period of highest profitability may be winding down, we’ve decided that scruples matter
(Reuters) - Deutsche Bank AG is looking for ways to end its relationship with President Donald Trump after the U.S. elections, as it tires of the negative publicity stemming from the ties, according to three senior bank officials with direct knowledge of the matter.
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when the new alab series legal podcast episode is dropping soon:
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Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
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sure we could do more episodes but then we'd have to resort to explaining linear time to our listeners
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none of you are free of sin
Who is the greatest Supreme Court justice of all time? There's only one way to find out -- a March Madness bracket, of course.
We've chosen an initial field of 16 justices. Now it's up to you to decide who advances. First-round voting is right here:
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Julius has already given notice that he's jumping ship to intern in greener legal podcasting pastures.
Excited to announce the launch of my new podcast,
The Dershow. I will be giving u my honest, unbiased, unfiltered assessment of politics, law and life everyday on the Dershow. I promise you will not be bored.
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we regret to inform you that the person responsible for "notorious rbg" is at it again
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Five seconds after Charles says he doesn’t wanna talk about something:
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remember thinking that what happened in a cold call could matter ever
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tenants
[ENROLL] What can a law student learn from studying the core tenants of Roman Law? In our online course,
@RichardAEpstein
argues that one can learn a great deal. Sign up today & get the latest content delivered straight to your inbox!
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ALAB listener confirmed
JUST IN: Judge orders NFL, class counsel to "address the concerns" about race-norming in concussion settlement.
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already getting results
EXCLUSIVE: Alex Jones is being dumped from the Milwaukee Tucker Carlson event.
@MarkBellingShow
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