Turd Ferguson
@69420yourmother
Followers
507
Following
233
Media
156
Statuses
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Naz Reid | Crimson Tide | Butt Cheeks |The Booth | whiskey Diet | 360 lb bench
Joined March 2024
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Pinned Tweet
“James, catches, puts up a three!: Won’t go. Rebound Bosh! Back out to Allen! His three pointer: BANG!”
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“How can I let people know I think I’m better than everyone else?”
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Sitting during QUARTER intermission??? Get the fuck out of my school
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6th free Mickey from Phi Psi Mizzou. Why can’t these guys be this cool in Tuscaloosa?
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I don’t know if it’s just me, but…. they should put this Indian guy in charge of something
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@RagingWZRD
@sterxing
Okay thank fuck someone actually knows what happened. I’ve been wanting to defend myself but I saw no point
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“Anything is possible. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLEEEEEEEEEE!”
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So sad how cringe and dogshit Barstool and Old Row have both become.. they’re Nelk tier at this point
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The last time I was in this Goodwill was 3 years ago when I was looking for a cheap navy blazer, a red tie, and New Balance 990s… boy how the time flies
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At the rec you will see the hottest girl you’ve ever seen in your life on the treadmill next to a KA newboy on his 500th flight of stairs on the stairmaster
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Not pictured: “his” dangle cross earring. Get the fuck out of my glorious Booth, gay Logic!!
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In honor of 9/11, I will sit at the rec all day and watch dozens of newboys climb the stairmaster for hours and hours
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Anchor Games are getting the Jeffy newboys a little too excited.. tough look for them
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@MaxBloomberg69
Bagged one of the hotter women I ever penised by drunkenly liking her instagram story and getting a random Snapchat from her the next day. It’s literally free
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There are actual people on this campus that pledged Chi Phi on purpose 😹😹😹😹😹😹😹
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Taking one last long glance and your sneaky links’ snapchats before leaving them on read after getting a girlfriend
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Thank god junior year is over so I don’t have to skip any more sign nights
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Holy horrible day today. Time to make it a bunch of 18 year olds problem tomorrow
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Bitches on vacation on instagram will say “Never coming home❤️” and it’s Fort Lauderdale
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If I am on wipe number 28 and there is still brown on the paper I am GIVING UP
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Love seeing bitches wear sweatshirts on their way to class in this weather. Thanks for letting me know you cut yourself
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Closed down Jackie’s last night. Didn’t know they did that. Barely got to hear the songs I queued on TouchTunes before I got the boot. Figure this has something to do with the little prick in my profile picture
#SamadsAmerica
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Every time I see an Asian person in Tuscaloosa it reminds me how long it’s been since I’ve seen an Asian person. They do not exist here
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Just liked a girl’s instagram story only to realize it was a picture of her sister that she had posted. If anyone wants to shoot me in the head for me lmk
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Wait guys I just thought of this new instagram caption I’m gonna use for my new post from this weekend. It’s going to be: “We ate the dawgs!” Creative, eh?
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@lululemoncello
what if I shot myself in front of you and changed the trajectory of your entire life
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Ballhaze capital of the world. Nothin like it
Gatlinburg Tennessee does not disappoint. Absolutely magical.
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@ScottyCheffler
Wish I knew. All I know is the man knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to show it
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Wrapping up 6.5 hr drive. Thought to myself “wow my eyes hurt from staring at the road as much as they do when I stare at a screen for a long time.” I then realized: How silly of me. I have not put my phone down the entire drive.
#classic
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i swear to god that Kappa Sig house grows exponentially as the days go. What did those phaggots do to deserve that fucking castle
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“Miami is trash, you gotta go north”
Can’t make this up. Shrink my school please.
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Gun to my head I couldn’t even name one single song. But I could pick that ass out of 8 billion
#MeatTweet
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If I ever wear a “I ❤️ My Girlfriend” shirt out in public I am too far gone and I need you to put one right between my eyes
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@carsenalexandr
I tip 100 dollars on my $4.53 Miller Lite bill and tell you I love you before throwing up on myself
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Arrested Development might be the funniest show ever made
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just took a boy version everything shower (jerked off directly into the drain and cut my balls shaving)
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Never understood why they say English is the hardest language. To me it’s the easiest
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(I banged her and want to forget about it)
Please get the fat ugly girl in Pi Phi off the jumbotron in BDS
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