2017 VW Passat
@2Passat66997
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Following
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174
Statuses
838
this is not a “bit” i really live this life
Joined May 2024
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you’re not unlovable you just won’t shut the fuck up during the best part of the movie i mean really bitch Chicken Run is my favorite movie of all time and this is my favorite part please stfu now i gotta rewind the shit why did you even come over if ur gonna talk the whole time
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i’m at petsmart and found this little dude going to town on the wheel
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@bryanlicious2_
i fw the GRADES icon mix so heavy fuckkkk cultural appropriation be damned that shit is a banger
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IT’S ONLY 75 DEGREES OUTSIDE YALL THAT MEANS HOODIE SEASON IS APPROACHING US AND I AM SO HERE FOR IT HANG IN THERE WE’VE ALMOST MADE IT
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good morning. now say it back, or the fish gets it. i stg i’ll blow his head clean off if u don’t say it back
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all of u guys are invited over to my house after work today to play bop-it. please rsvp in advance, as i only own one bop-it
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64 is a cool number, and we're only 64 days away from halloween i can feel the spooky shit runnin through my bones already man
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u know what, fuck it. i know it’s an election year and tensions are high.
i don’t usually get serious on here, and i hope i don’t get suspended for saying this but i feel like i have to get this out....
air bud was not real and i believe that the footage was doctored
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if u didn’t blurt out a bunch of gibberish while u were stretching, did u really even stretch?
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ladies,, imagine this:
15 years from now we’ve updated our privacy policy
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@_Twinndiesel
there’s something about taking a pic from pop culture or politics and slapping the parental advisory sticker on that Mf 🔥😮💨
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i don’t drink coffee in the mornings, i just watch this ridiculously fire edit of Rob Van Dam and i get all the energy i need
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u ever just wake up and realize your bowl cut cute as shit
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chopper in the trunk
🔫 in my hand
if a fella run up on me
it’s a wrap like saran
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anyone wanna come over and watch reading rainbow together
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@magickfartz
COPS is filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement. all suspects are innocent until proven guilty, in a court of law
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shit my car has been leaking genderfluid for over a week now
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@th0mee
i actually just got out of the doctor’s myself. he says i got a fever. and the only prescription…... is more cowbell.
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hey um i don't wanna b a buzzkill man but dude ur cabbage is leaking
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@drankcelsius
if u eat too many in one day the snapchat hot dog man appears in ur room while ur sleeping and kills u
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@rllydu
honestly bro, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
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hey Siri, google how much kombucha do i have to drink to get the courage to convince my dad that The Front Bottoms don’t suck
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yo girl at my crib, i just let her charge the iPhone
she asked me if these diamonds, nah bitch these some rhinestones
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i’m scared of hot girls as much as i’m scared of failure
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the reals say i’m on it,, the haters say i ain’t shit……
...but i’m still……..
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got on my boy mau’s workout plan. Left - me December 2023
Right - me Today.
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@th0mee
@drankcelsius
ooooh oooooh i call flicking it!! i’m reaaaallllyyyyy good at flicking it
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@bigfatpussylip
i (straight male) fell in love with an indian dude on the Xbox support phone line (not gay)
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@drankcelsius
i voted middle only because i know nobody’s gonna vote middle and i like rooting for the underdog
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this fly got me thinkin "damn i really need to exfoliate rn"
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@cricketsbrain
“don’t give up. don’t ever give up” -Jim Valvano
Lana dating a random older guy who runs airboat tours in Louisiana... we're so unbelievably back...
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20 different people run my twitter account and the main one is Steve Harvey.
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@drankcelsius
#ART
is everywhere, there is infinite aesthetic value in everything if ur willing to look hard enough <3 even butt sweat
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@vanhaley_yt
women:
-wow his smile is beautiful
-wonder if he has a good relationship with his mom?
-omg and he donates to charity???
men:
-damn shawty thicker than a bowl of oatmeal
-what dat mouf do
-FEEET
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the sexual tension when they say “gotta keep u on your toes!” (i have a foot fetish)
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me:
- cool
- cute
-can hit insane aerials in rocket league
- watched 4 episodes of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia last night
your bf:
- lives in Wyoming probably
- runs a mile in 12 minutes
- favorite mcdonalds menu item is the salad
- size 8 1/2 shoe
u do the math, liberal
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@rllydu
dude.. u don’t remember? last year’s office christmas party. u got way too drunk after cheryl announced she was engaged and whipped out 2 glocks. everyone was forced to leave. pretty sure the police ended up getting involved. kinda ruined the night ngl but got this sweet pic of u
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Flick it!
Twist it!
Pull it!
Seize the means of production! ☭
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@idiotloveseat
i don’t drink because anytime i do i end up converting to a different religion. last time it was scientology
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@drankcelsius
the public has been lied to for too long. it’s time someone speaks out about the lies that have been spread in this country for so long.
there is absolutely no way air bud (a dog) can dunk. regulation height of an NBA net is 10 feet. a golden retriever cannot jump that high idc
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