🦧.
@zoneblockscheme
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Pinned Tweet
listening 2 bhad bhabie driving 40 over the speed limit so I can make it to mission barbecue in time for the national anthem
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I’ve had enough “Ice Cold Beer” in this lifetime… I’m finally making the switch to “Jeff Cold Beer”
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“Harmony Korine is a genius! America in decay! He’s soooo smart!”
Harmony Korine:
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Had 5 missed calls from my brother, turns out he just wanted to tell me he’s been cast as a background character in the Good Burger sequel
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My face when the guy across from me on the bus is openly talking about eating his girl out on speaker phone and she keeps saying “I don’t believe you”
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@ColeyMick
Yamamoto isn’t even on the same plane here… relatively I feel like there was more hype for Tanaka or even Dice-K lol
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Yeah they call me 007:
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7 30 Seconds to Mars themed tattoos
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Roommate just popped a Vicodin after surgery and I think “I get it” has to be the funniest response to taking an opiate for the first time
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You (broke): Ah, Paris, the city of lights!
Me (woke): Ah, Milwaukee, the city of lites!
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Texting my sister about Hollywood’s mistreatment of women and femininity while I currently look like this
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Quite honestly spit my drink out at this kid from high school’s snap story. I’m fucking dead
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Tried to call my dad to wish him happy Father’s Day but he is “very busy at Lowe’s” atm so I think he’s celebrating how he wants and deserves
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Hello friends I’m once again attempting to quit smoking and could use all of the encouragement possible so please say nice things you like about me or send me sexy photos of myself that you have where I’m not smoking ❤️ currently at 6 days since my last puff
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here it goes: the last year has shifted me from dead end job, living in a place I felt intensely isolated, and in a full halt -> actually working towards goals I’ve had since I was 14 and living in a place I feel fulfilled. I’m an incredibly lucky guy
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Nothing better than seeing the old guy who brought his own bowling balls to landmark lane gutter 6 straight to start his game
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Dropping out of law school to pursue a masters degree in illusions
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I’ve always been saying the Ravens should give me a try at tight end
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Who dey gonna commit them war crimes 😎
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Day 3 of law school orientation: the pick me’s are frothing to answer the presenters. Girl with a YSL bag nearly pissed herself raising her hand to name the three branches of government. Buddy who kept talking over the presenter said “I feel like I’m the only one talking.”
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There are only two players in the NHL with a higher base salary than James McCann
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I had quite honestly forgotten what life in a t shirt was like… this shit RULES
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My roommate, recounting his day: “Yeah man I hit the Viccy (Vicodin) and then watched half of Godfather Part II and it was way too much for me.”
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Thought I got a girl’s number at the Alex G show turns out they were just handing everyone pamphlets with the suicide hotline number on it
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My dad just shattered the glass doors of the downstairs shower… scale of 1/10 how loud u think he’s bout to chew his dinner tonight?
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Now THIS is the face of someone who is 2 weeks off cigs cold turkey 🪱🪱🪱
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Quietly whispering “bag talk” to myself when I order a blue moon instead of a high life
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Chapter 11 so they can reorganize and halt the litigation process is honestly comical. I pay no mind to people pledging to their faith but if you still think Big Church™️ is anything but a business veiled by a farcical interpretation of organized religion then you are delusional!
BREAKING: Archdiocese of Baltimore files for bankruptcy ahead of expected flood of sex-abuse lawsuits
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Back in my day we’d ask for video games or action figures for Christmas… kids these days all they want is a “healthy gut biome”
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Old heads at 11:59 tonight crafting their finest “I haven’t showered since last year!” comment
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Came back to my parents’ house from a wedding and immediately housed 4 microwave bean burritos… ya I’m thinking I’m fuckin back
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Modern diners always skimping on the gravy on my open face roast beef sandwich 🤦♂️
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No fucking way LMFAOOOOOOOO
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Perhaps the dude at the coffee shop who is taking an insta photo of the chapter of his book titled “Discipline is Key” is kinda missing the entire fucking point
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1 month til I’m 26 someone gotta shoot me in the arm now so 1. I can know what it feels like 2. Learn and grow from the experience and 3. Use my parents health insurance for the stitches
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Praying my Philly crush sees this and thinks I’m soooo funny now 🙏🙏
I’ve had enough “Ice Cold Beer” in this lifetime… I’m finally making the switch to “Jeff Cold Beer”
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Guy voluntarily showed us his Delco tattoo last night… beauty comes in all forms
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I regret to inform you the terps were far under the sexy bar tonight
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Never mind. I don’t want to move to New York
"Karma Chameleon" is taking over the New York Subways!
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I love how awful an institution Johns Hopkins is :-)
Johns Hopkins seeks to proudly honor and celebrate Henrietta Lacks with a new building.
Though her estate considers the taking of Lacks’ cells by Hopkins a crime
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So close to baseball being back
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Taking time to feel proud of yourself is all part of the process. Small steps are still steps and I feel I’ve shuffled 50 miles ahead at this point :)
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Breaking: Man who dated 17 year old while in his 30s isn’t a fan of being PC
Jerry Seinfeld says TV comedy is being hurt by "the extreme left and P.C. crap, and people worrying so much about offending other people."
“It used to be, you would go home at the end of the day, most people would go, ‘Oh, “Cheers” is on. Oh, “MASH” is on. Oh, “Mary Tyler Moore”
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Girl next to me in my exam was LATHERING herself in lotion for the entire 3 hours. Don’t know if it’s therapeutic or sumn but damn all my shit smells like lotion now
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Told my coworkers that I was happily surprised that Fetterman pulled it out… which was followed by an old ass man going “is that why you’re wearing your sweatshirt like that?” 🫤
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Hehehehe friggin sweet!! Peter Griffin here, and my friend Joe Biden is gonna need all the help he can get against that Evil Chicken Donald Trump! Holy Crap! Abortion is on the ballot again! Can you donate $5 dollars to my friend Joe to secure reproductive Justice?
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The men of Milwaukee:
The men of Milwaukee are among the most handsome in the world
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Somebody call 911! Shawty fire burnin on the dance floor, ooowoooaaahooohh!!
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Looks like shit 👍
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Buddy I bought some Stallone flicks off of in my VHS Facebook group just pm’d me asking: “any interest in segal stuff?”
Yes… yes Franco from Duluth… yes a million
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Hungover and enjoying terps football. The calm before the storm
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