๐ฉ๐๐ฏ๐
@zarkhiar
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๐ฐ๐จ๐ข๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐๐ฉ ๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ฅ || e-diary of a depressorexic || NOT edtwt || raging against the dying of the light || priv for moots @zararexia
24 โข italian โข syrian
Joined May 2024
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Pinned Tweet
"im here for a good time not a long time" yea? well im here for neither, fuck me up baby
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i kinda hate that being skinny is in again and everyone is talking about ozempic and protein and such cuz now i look like ive been influenced by mainstream media into this ed instead of being influenced by my obsessive need for control, crippling depression, and desire to die smh
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@eternalrexic
my most controversial edtwt opinion is that those are actually ass - i was so excited to try one and it was so so disappointing
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skinny bitches. im considering leaving edtwt. not because im recovering or anything but i feel like edtwt is artificially inflating my attachment to my ed and like im getting addicted to twitter/my phone again (and also frankly being on here is kinda embarrassing lmao)
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they all wanna be angelina jolie in girl, interrupted but conveniently seem to be forgetting she ends the story strapped to a bed, just as powerless and fucked up as the rest of them
hot take of the day is that those edtwt mean girls are utterly ridiculous because you can pretend you're hot shit all you want but at the end of the day you're still gonna suffer the same consequences of this disorder the rest of us are and it won't be pretty when it's you either
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hey does anyone know like,, what to do? like what are we supposed to be doing i think i missed when they told us
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the syrian jumped out for todays breakfast - lemon za'atar yogurt with parsley, salted cucumber and tomato, and earl grey tea ๐ฅ๐
โ๏ธ๐ค
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just unfollowed 100 ppl. i exercise purge AND i twitter purge. who want me
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presentation is lacking but todays breakfast was maple and pumpkin spice yogurt topped with cinnamon and maple pecan granola ๐๐๐ค
it was absolutely incredible i will be revisiting this multiple times in order to perfect it
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i get that edtwt can absolutely suck but it will never stop being so jarring to me the way so many ppl have absolutely no sympathy of any kind for people dealing with eating disorders
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hot take of the day is that those edtwt mean girls are utterly ridiculous because you can pretend you're hot shit all you want but at the end of the day you're still gonna suffer the same consequences of this disorder the rest of us are and it won't be pretty when it's you either
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a bunch of my favorite moots are making steps towards recovery (as they absolutely deserve to and i support them 100%) and i'm planning how to most effectively get worse
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it's so hard to be mediterranean AND have an ed how the fuck am i supposed to make it through life avoiding olive oil
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i could make a yogurt bowl inspired by this. nobody is stopping me. much to think about
maple butter and bourbon vanilla paste espresso with pumpkin malk, 6% milk, and pumpkin pie cold foam
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rushed and unaesthetic tuna salad sandwich for dinner ๐ฅช๐ค
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janky lil strawberry salad for lunch today. 200cal estimate? mostly for olive oil and some nuts you can't see in the pic lmao
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i'm a liar i want so badly to return to edtwt and continue spiralling into hell but unfortunately i am Not Allowed
my tl is almost completely free of ed content now btw. only my mooties i wanted to keep. the rest is all foodposting, art, aesthetics, and fashion. it really is that easy to be free of edtwt ๐คโจ
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i love when my favorite moots are also each others favorite moots like yes perfect we have a little group,,, a crew,,, now let's all have a tea party together
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how do i dress like this but make it 90s/y2k alt
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for a bitch that panics over eating i sure do be making a lot of dinner plans!
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good morning besties today's breakfast is blueberry lemon yogurt with vanilla almond granola and chestnut honey but i waited too long to take the picture so the lemon made the granola look kinda gross and disrupted the original design of the honey so no close up lmao ๐ค๐ซ๐๐ฏ
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using my ed to distract from my other problems but then my ed gets too overwhelming so i use my other problems to distract from my ed but then my other problems get too overwhelming so i use my ed to distract from my other problems but then my ed gets too overwhelming so i use m
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gonna start taking steps towards this from now, i'm gonna unfollow a lot of edtwt accounts, no hard feelings i just don't wanna lose anymore of my life to avoidable causes ๐ซถ๐ผ
skinny bitches. im considering leaving edtwt. not because im recovering or anything but i feel like edtwt is artificially inflating my attachment to my ed and like im getting addicted to twitter/my phone again (and also frankly being on here is kinda embarrassing lmao)
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i am freshly showered and shaved, i did my skincare, i took my vitamins, and i smell like fig body oil. now i will have a small mug of blackberry citrus tea and then i will retire to bed so i can be well rested for my 4:45am gym wake up
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good morning besties ๐ค today was gym day which means breakfast and i was inspired by some moots to try and do something fun! coconut fig honey vanilla and almond yogurt bowl ๐ฅฅ๐ฏ
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need to look like this expeditiously
lost another pound after having a que$t bar and drinking half a bottle of wine yesterday ๐ทโค๏ธโ๐ฉน
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@erythritoI
i don't shop there much but i'm pretty sure it's actually the opposite lmao. like, crunchy healthy granola vegan shit
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high waisted pants are the enemy but actually low waisted pants are too and just having a body in general is the worst thing that could happen to you
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finally updating on this cuz i had the cookies and cream one - it was more cookie dough and cream than the oreo flavor i was expecting but still good, big stracciatella vibes tbh. 8/10 definitely recommend
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my tl is almost completely free of ed content now btw. only my mooties i wanted to keep. the rest is all foodposting, art, aesthetics, and fashion. it really is that easy to be free of edtwt ๐คโจ
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i remember the height of my depression in high school and when i look back at how my tumblr use + interaction with sh and depression tumblr affected me i cant help but think i would have been so much better off if id never found those spaces and now it seems like...
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perhaps this monday i will take myself on a little autumnal solo date to the apple orchard and just hang out with the trees? what do we think besties
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skinny bitches... i fear the lack of food and sleep combined with the overexercising is catching up to me...
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got some really fun news yesterday and if i can confirm that its true im gonna be the skinniest bitch of all cuz wow what great motivation to starve myself to death
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how do you have beef on edtwt i thought half of us were literally starving where are you guys getting the energy for this
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i'm doing things. i have no time to tell you what they are now. but just know im doing things
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i forgot to post yesterdays breakfast so here she is vanilla yogurt with cinnamon walnut granola and dried cinnamon apples ๐ค๐
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protein bars do not belong on this list please be for real
gym, 10k steps, protein bars, detox tea, collagen supplements, lots of reading, vitamin c, matcha, spf, meditation, dry brushing, manicure, body oil, journaling, hot girl walks, flowers, lemon water, salads, gua sha, guided meditation, fresh fruit, long walks
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wieiad ยซ7/3/24ยป โจ
a bad day is trying to have me but i am not trying to have a bad day so here's some breakfast <3
190cals โข 13g protein โข details in alt
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moots who have ninja creamis can you drop your fav recipes? seeing one single recipe i wanna try will 100% be my final straw to say fuck it and get one
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instead of killing myself i'm gonna ask my nail lady if she can do smth this for me but brown
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just had the best salad ever it was iceberg lettuce smoked salmon hazelnuts teriyaki sauce sesame seeds and some kind of cheese i need to inquire about but i think it healed me i need to remake this at home i think it would make a great omad
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it's so hard to be a real person when you have an ed like why am i flipping my shit over cake rn
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now consider THIS if you will: grilled chicken, spinach, red and green bell peppers, cucumbers, dried cranberries, and a mustard dill vinaigrette wrapped with a sundried tomato tortilla
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the goal here is really just to become a real person again. i'm not fooling myself into thinking im gonna magically recover, from my ed or any of my other mental health issues, but what i'm doing right now is simply not sustainable
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i'm not gonna quote the tweet i found it in cuz it had a pic that i don't wanna put on recovery moots tls but i have found inspiration in this gate design and am going to try to make a little jewellery collection based on it
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having black tea with cinnamon and nutmeg. 0cal autumn in a mug. big recommend ๐
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this disorder is so embarrassing why am i genuinely afraid of bread ๐ญ
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hello besties i'm fucking plastered and eating oreos im gonna hate myself tomorrow but tonight i have spooky orange oreos :)
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i think when i'm able to start properly restricting again maybe im not gonna count calories anymore - just operate off vibes
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yea cute, yummy, well planned, and varied meals are fun and all but have you ever sat on the kitchen floor and had tuna straight out of the can
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just spent an embarrassingly long time pressing the off button on my bench lamp wondering why it wasn't turning on
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this is funny cuz it's just objectively wrong. i'd even go so far to say that some ppl even look better a little heavier than healthy skinny just cuz it personally suits them better
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i love to be good and clean and holy and right and perfect but unfortunately for me i am actually monstrous
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good morning besties i don't wanna jinx anything but i feel today has potential to be a good day
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when do i get to the losing my period part of this stupid ass disorder? i'm at the end of my shit with the bloating and irritability
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good morning skinny bitches i cried so much last night that i woke today with my eyes swollen shut lmao
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also good riddance starving, interrupted lmao. i feel my braincells growing back already
gonna start taking steps towards this from now, i'm gonna unfollow a lot of edtwt accounts, no hard feelings i just don't wanna lose anymore of my life to avoidable causes ๐ซถ๐ผ
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happy autumn this flavor of quest bar just healed me ๐๐
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i actually feel so aggressively ugly i want to crawl out of my skin and die
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besties i wanna do the thing where you guys comment your names and i write them in my handwriting but also i'll write them in arabic too
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updating my review: these were actually a total and complete waste of calories. i could've had something much more filling that didn't taste vaguely gross and make my stomach hurt after. dumb bitch move
more airport eating - i've been wanting to try these but honestly they were mid, id rather have quest protein chips as a snack
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good morning besties gym is done and i just finished my run, now we go home and make breakfast >:)
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late but todays breakfast was peach yogurt with apple walnut butter and vanilla almond granola ๐ค๐๐
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another piercing probably won't fix me but it could be fun
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i came to the grocery store with so many intentions and absolutely 0 plans and besties it's not going well
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i wanted to do a daily thread for today but i simply do not have enough fucks to give to document anything. it's not even an energy thing it's a depression thing i just Don't Care
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chat i had a rare good day? exercised in the morning, felt semi-decent about my body, signed up to go back to the gym again, did well at work, my new lunch protein bar was good, + only panicked mildly about the things i ate! gonna quit while im ahead though, gn skinny bitches <3
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sorry i was late to work boss i had to sit in my bath towel and draft eight thousand stupid tweets i'll never post before i could leave the house
sorry i was late to work boss i had to put the same tiny ass piece of chocolate in my lunch bag and take it out again 53 times before i could leave the house
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i'm so bloated i literally look several months pregnant and i don't know if it's because i actually ate that much or ive just fucked my body up that badly that this is the reaction to eating more than i'm used to
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getting my ass beat by this disorder today what if i just never eat anything else ever again? ๐คฃ
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crazy how i did everything "right" today and i still feel like shit. i woke up early, i exercised, im following my routines, im being productive, i have music and a nice candle, i even ATE so why do i still wanna die. dont say depression
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O H ?
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i wanna try and make some restriction friendly autumn inspired foods this year. perhaps i will start tomorrow. i need to go to the grocery store anyway
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