๐ฐ๐จ๐ข๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐๐ฉ ๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ฅ || e-diary of a depressorexic || NOT edtwt || raging against the dying of the light || priv for moots
@zararexia
i kinda hate that being skinny is in again and everyone is talking about ozempic and protein and such cuz now i look like ive been influenced by mainstream media into this ed instead of being influenced by my obsessive need for control, crippling depression, and desire to die smh
skinny bitches. im considering leaving edtwt. not because im recovering or anything but i feel like edtwt is artificially inflating my attachment to my ed and like im getting addicted to twitter/my phone again (and also frankly being on here is kinda embarrassing lmao)
they all wanna be angelina jolie in girl, interrupted but conveniently seem to be forgetting she ends the story strapped to a bed, just as powerless and fucked up as the rest of them
hot take of the day is that those edtwt mean girls are utterly ridiculous because you can pretend you're hot shit all you want but at the end of the day you're still gonna suffer the same consequences of this disorder the rest of us are and it won't be pretty when it's you either
presentation is lacking but todays breakfast was maple and pumpkin spice yogurt topped with cinnamon and maple pecan granola ๐๐๐ค
it was absolutely incredible i will be revisiting this multiple times in order to perfect it
i get that edtwt can absolutely suck but it will never stop being so jarring to me the way so many ppl have absolutely no sympathy of any kind for people dealing with eating disorders
hot take of the day is that those edtwt mean girls are utterly ridiculous because you can pretend you're hot shit all you want but at the end of the day you're still gonna suffer the same consequences of this disorder the rest of us are and it won't be pretty when it's you either
a bunch of my favorite moots are making steps towards recovery (as they absolutely deserve to and i support them 100%) and i'm planning how to most effectively get worse
my tl is almost completely free of ed content now btw. only my mooties i wanted to keep. the rest is all foodposting, art, aesthetics, and fashion. it really is that easy to be free of edtwt ๐คโจ
i love when my favorite moots are also each others favorite moots like yes perfect we have a little group,,, a crew,,, now let's all have a tea party together
good morning besties today's breakfast is blueberry lemon yogurt with vanilla almond granola and chestnut honey but i waited too long to take the picture so the lemon made the granola look kinda gross and disrupted the original design of the honey so no close up lmao ๐ค๐ซ๐๐ฏ
using my ed to distract from my other problems but then my ed gets too overwhelming so i use my other problems to distract from my ed but then my other problems get too overwhelming so i use my ed to distract from my other problems but then my ed gets too overwhelming so i use m
gonna start taking steps towards this from now, i'm gonna unfollow a lot of edtwt accounts, no hard feelings i just don't wanna lose anymore of my life to avoidable causes ๐ซถ๐ผ
skinny bitches. im considering leaving edtwt. not because im recovering or anything but i feel like edtwt is artificially inflating my attachment to my ed and like im getting addicted to twitter/my phone again (and also frankly being on here is kinda embarrassing lmao)
i am freshly showered and shaved, i did my skincare, i took my vitamins, and i smell like fig body oil. now i will have a small mug of blackberry citrus tea and then i will retire to bed so i can be well rested for my 4:45am gym wake up
good morning besties ๐ค today was gym day which means breakfast and i was inspired by some moots to try and do something fun! coconut fig honey vanilla and almond yogurt bowl ๐ฅฅ๐ฏ
finally updating on this cuz i had the cookies and cream one - it was more cookie dough and cream than the oreo flavor i was expecting but still good, big stracciatella vibes tbh. 8/10 definitely recommend
my tl is almost completely free of ed content now btw. only my mooties i wanted to keep. the rest is all foodposting, art, aesthetics, and fashion. it really is that easy to be free of edtwt ๐คโจ
i remember the height of my depression in high school and when i look back at how my tumblr use + interaction with sh and depression tumblr affected me i cant help but think i would have been so much better off if id never found those spaces and now it seems like...
got some really fun news yesterday and if i can confirm that its true im gonna be the skinniest bitch of all cuz wow what great motivation to starve myself to death
wieiad ยซ7/3/24ยป โจ
a bad day is trying to have me but i am not trying to have a bad day so here's some breakfast <3
190cals โข 13g protein โข details in alt
moots who have ninja creamis can you drop your fav recipes? seeing one single recipe i wanna try will 100% be my final straw to say fuck it and get one
just had the best salad ever it was iceberg lettuce smoked salmon hazelnuts teriyaki sauce sesame seeds and some kind of cheese i need to inquire about but i think it healed me i need to remake this at home i think it would make a great omad
now consider THIS if you will: grilled chicken, spinach, red and green bell peppers, cucumbers, dried cranberries, and a mustard dill vinaigrette wrapped with a sundried tomato tortilla
the goal here is really just to become a real person again. i'm not fooling myself into thinking im gonna magically recover, from my ed or any of my other mental health issues, but what i'm doing right now is simply not sustainable
i'm not gonna quote the tweet i found it in cuz it had a pic that i don't wanna put on recovery moots tls but i have found inspiration in this gate design and am going to try to make a little jewellery collection based on it
this is funny cuz it's just objectively wrong. i'd even go so far to say that some ppl even look better a little heavier than healthy skinny just cuz it personally suits them better
gonna start taking steps towards this from now, i'm gonna unfollow a lot of edtwt accounts, no hard feelings i just don't wanna lose anymore of my life to avoidable causes ๐ซถ๐ผ
updating my review: these were actually a total and complete waste of calories. i could've had something much more filling that didn't taste vaguely gross and make my stomach hurt after. dumb bitch move
i wanted to do a daily thread for today but i simply do not have enough fucks to give to document anything. it's not even an energy thing it's a depression thing i just Don't Care
chat i had a rare good day? exercised in the morning, felt semi-decent about my body, signed up to go back to the gym again, did well at work, my new lunch protein bar was good, + only panicked mildly about the things i ate! gonna quit while im ahead though, gn skinny bitches <3
sorry i was late to work boss i had to put the same tiny ass piece of chocolate in my lunch bag and take it out again 53 times before i could leave the house
i'm so bloated i literally look several months pregnant and i don't know if it's because i actually ate that much or ive just fucked my body up that badly that this is the reaction to eating more than i'm used to
crazy how i did everything "right" today and i still feel like shit. i woke up early, i exercised, im following my routines, im being productive, i have music and a nice candle, i even ATE so why do i still wanna die. dont say depression
i wanna try and make some restriction friendly autumn inspired foods this year. perhaps i will start tomorrow. i need to go to the grocery store anyway