wilbop Profile
wilbop

@wilboooo

Followers
552
Following
176
Media
6
Statuses
268

woooooow, wow wow,

Joined June 2013
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
this tweet is written in a special frequency that only stupid babies can read
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
Three Sentence Horror: A ghoul is after you and won't relent. (the title 'Three Sentence Horror' counts as a sentence)
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
genie: be careful what you wish for me: no
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@wilboooo
wilbop
5 years
@CNNRGLDN @KrangTNelson how many more qualified *women*
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
Reward: A single perfect egg.
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@wilboooo
wilbop
10 months
It’s all fun and games… until she starts playing the evil flute
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
Haunted… by ghosts
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@wilboooo
wilbop
5 months
Warning: You are about to avoid a cyclist
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 year
You can’t get killed by the same lightning bolt twice
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 month
you never hear about cholesterol any more
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
Don't have $4.80 for a bus ride? Save a millionaire's life, then when they say that they'll give you a reward and tell you to name your price, ask for $4.80
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 months
withered.. on da vine
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 months
it’s not the moon landing that was fake… it was everything else
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
You wake up in a jail cell with ten strangers. there's a lever in the cell, and every time you pull it, a huge fist metal fist comes out of a wall and punches you. The Prison's Dilemma
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
RIP to the Nepalese restaurant near work… fangs for the memories
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
wife bought the correct amount of tomatoes #grateful
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
i find a shrink ray with a single charge left and use it to shoot an ant
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
Star fruit. Dragon fruit. What other disappointing fruits are there
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 year
Me: how about… dog matrix Friend A: what’s that? Me: dog version of the matrix Friend B: oh my god, that’s him. that’s the REAL wilboo!! (Takes out a huge gun and shoots my clone)
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@wilboooo
wilbop
7 months
Couldn’t afford rats so we have to test on worms instead
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
Things mustard-heads say: I’m just going to the shop quickly to pick up some essentials (walks back in with three HUGE jars of mustard)
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
You know what reverse pressure does to diamonds? It turns them into c*al
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 year
In an unfamiliar city I saw a house that had a painting of me on the door. I assumed it must be my home, but how wrong I was.
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
Bitten by a spider? To get your revenge, live life to the fullest
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
Want to break a few eggs? Consider making an omelette
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 months
an invisible flea… nature’s pest
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
me: im not gonna do a elvis impression tonight me after one beer: ohh hoh
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
hmm. some differentLy coloured bones
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 year
the world is an illusion… or so “they” want you to believe
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
This time, we’re taking the fight to them… again!
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
You have awakened the Respectful Tiger
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
Chaos Gives Up
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 month
what happens if you bite a reverse vampire
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
Researchers have discovered twenty more of Aesop’s stupid fables, each one shitter than the last
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
video games where you can play by shouting, going home etc
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
One day a man found a book containing a story that enthralled him. It was captivating, but every page he turned caused him great pain. The pain grew worse and worse with every page. Eventually, he had to sell the book.
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
ok, this time the cavalry is actually here
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
(after choking down a cold brick of lard straight from the fridge) mMm I’m so satiated
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
And behind that door? An even worse door.
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@wilboooo
wilbop
8 months
extremely long, straight hotdog
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
Gordon Ramsay at a weird restaurant: bloody hell!
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
the walk normally game: whoever walks th e most normally, wins
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 year
Resting my eyes by looking at the sun. Counter-intuitive, and ineffective.
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
Diagnosis: killed instantly by a giant hog
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@wilboooo
wilbop
8 months
You haven’t heard of a ponko knife? It’s a famous type of knife round here
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
The Dark Knights of the Shadow are once again “too sad to fight”
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
If you eat one banana a day, everyday, you will die
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@wilboooo
wilbop
9 months
If any of your kids start dreaming/talking about ‘Dr. Goat’ you are in serious trouble
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
Third boss: Armor Joe Weakness: Jokes about his wife’s burnt face
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 year
A man who gets turned into a dog… for the last time
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
Imagine if drinking water made you fat… insane
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
In memory of the revered great ape Grandfather Wisdom, died from eating his own poo
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
Tweet media one
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 year
Be careful… this scorpion has a sting in its tail
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
Welcome to Dog City! me: where’s the dogs
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@wilboooo
wilbop
8 months
A gun that sounds really shit so you never use it
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
Crazy Dodge: Perform an absolutely crazy dodge!
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 year
Man in India famous for balancing an orb on top of his head for fifty years, but then he stopped when he realised it was the wrong orb.
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
Being pregnant is when you go all fat, and then ten months later... surprise!
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
imagine a game
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
transforming from a baby into a skeleton
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
Three dogs, two destinies. Ones gotta go 🤞
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
Not even this useless piece of garbage can protect us
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
Dark Demon: Welcome to Hadesworld! Me: seems like a ripoff of hell
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
The Flea and the Bucket, Tired Peter, Three Ungrateful Hens... all useless
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@wilboooo
wilbop
9 months
-Knight of the Broken Gladius- Found In: Red-tipped Ruins Special Attack: Stone Sunder Biggest Fear: That everyone is secretly as lonely as him
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
you never hear about cholesterol any more
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
Welcome to Pell’s Dogfood Factory, owned by me, Timothy Dog Factory
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
The Magnet Master inspects his magnets with a most studious expression…
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
Excited to be back at the Nepalese restaurant near work. Like a familiar dream.
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 year
moon city… apparently they used to call it The Moon
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 year
Hi, you don’t know me, but I’d really love for you to eat all of my bambino cones. I really need you to eat all of my bambino cones!
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
i dreamt a door was opening slowly #dognightmares
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@wilboooo
wilbop
9 months
‘Enjoy a little slice of life!’ - me, at the new Nepalese place near work
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
Hi, I’m Heavy. Heavy Breathin’
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
History Repeats Itself 2
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
Coming back to life... the ultimate Free Solo
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
firstly, don't call me dirtbrain. secondly, it's MR. dirtbrain to you.
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
Sewers of Heaven
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@wilboooo
wilbop
10 months
Bad Luck Bee
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
there are no guarantees in life, kid... and that's a promise
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@wilboooo
wilbop
5 years
greetings, fellow thirty-year old gamers (entire crowd starts booing loudly, screaming, throwing stuff at me. completely disproportionately vicious response, just everyone carrying on, telling me im scum, climbing up on stage to kill me, i run away and hide but they find me...)
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
Report: Aliens are real, but they're not very good. 2015
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
Manny O’ Arrows, at your service m’liege
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
Hedgey the Hobgoblin has cast his final trick on me
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
Wasps can’t hurt you, unless you Let them
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
Small Levins
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@wilboooo
wilbop
1 year
✋ I appreciate a shallow bowl
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
stitch two babies together. the ol' reverse solomon
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
(getting mad at broccoli) grrr... you stupid florets!
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@wilboooo
wilbop
3 years
jubilane pic - edited to remove spoiler
Tweet media one
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
how about, Helvetica Small
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
said “nice strawman” to the judge and walked off scot-free
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
all chess game death animations extended (12 hours)
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
just bought a whole bunch of peacocks for my garden, ‘half price’... and what’s even better, they’re all babes!
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
ahh, time to kick back, turn into a cloud of gas that feels no pain and has no memory of its prior existence
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@wilboooo
wilbop
2 years
Chuck it on the barbecue - “nature’s oven”
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@wilboooo
wilbop
4 years
the curse is lifted, but life goes on...
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