randomcontrol Profile
randomcontrol

@wasteofaface

Followers
5,751
Following
451
Media
489
Statuses
3,143

Storyteller with a passion for stories

Los Angeles, CA
Joined February 2011
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
scariest thing that ever happened to me was when I went to a bookstore on acid without knowing that Bill Clinton was speaking there
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Rock bottom
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Talking w a teen
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
In tennis “love” is something you “don’t want”. Twisted little sport...
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
9 months
Great thanks!
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
yayyyy
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Sorry mom......
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
2 years
just told an interviewer i’m “obsessed with steamlining processes”
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
2 years
fake falling asleep in the uber so the driver has to carry me to bed
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
2 years
what was “the incident” at ur world’s trade center
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
2 years
The confident woman
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Jar i invented
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
The ceo of gt kombucha was in my dream again
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
2 years
at my bat mitzvah right before i started crying cuz my mom called me "handsome"
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
It could change everything for me
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
people with three-legged dogs love to be like notice anything different about my dog?
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
On salvia at Panera, 2011
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
BICOASTAL PEOPLE IN SINGLE COAST-PRESENTING LIVING SITUATIONS ARE STILL BICOASTAL
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
It used to be Shaun white this. Shaun white that
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
My dad thinks trout “become salmon” when they get to the ocean
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
When conversation's not flowing i just start confessing to shit
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
2 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Now that the world’s opening back up, can we finally admit that technology has changed society? Computers, phones, etc.
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
wait what
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
She turns 100 like once a week
@CNN
CNN
3 years
Betty White turns 100 on Jan. 17 and is inviting fans to celebrate with her in a special movie event called "Betty White: 100 Years Young — A Birthday Celebration."
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
@pleasuresystems I would be u should be more nice to me!
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Got her again 😭
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
🙂🤞
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
My trolley problem
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
This would kill him instantly
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Breaking my arm to see who would sign my cast
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
About last night 😂
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
U can only put two items in this pail - Name them
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
The sad truth
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Just saw a ghost and did not care
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
this shit on a bagel >>
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
When i say frenemy i mean "french enemy"
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
More annoying than just hearing a baby crying
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
1 month
being a video hoe in ur thirties
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@frutigerangel
Oberon
1 month
i haven’t seen anyone mention how one of the ppl stripping in the guess mv is the waitress from the 360 mv 😭
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
My cousin can get us weed 👍
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Thankful
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Make it make sense..
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
2 years
i think i know who the Elvis movie is about
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Interesting
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Separating the art from artist also means supporting ur dope untalented friends
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
I wanna see my ex crush fight my current crush
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Shaking in my boots
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
never 👍 stop 👍 grinding 👍
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
I’m a creep I’m a weirdo. No. Ur Radiohead
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Lmk
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
it’s so sad and crazy how americans don't eat this for breakfast every day. whereas in the uk we do ❤️🇬🇧
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
My brother said my haircut makes me look like I’m from a “non-Paris part of France” and now I’m depressed
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Summer look
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
Explains so much
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
LIKE if u have an uncle david. RT if u have something else
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
accidentally called a friend’s old number and shared a lovely moment w its new owner
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
SEX! * * * * * Now that i have ur attention * * * * * Climate change..
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
2 years
I have an amazing sense for when someone’s about to become a doula
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
My shark tank idea: blue raspberries but real
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
9 months
the phrase “choose your protein”
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
Been working on this for 2 hrs I got nothing
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Unfollowing a dead person on Instagram
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
👇👇👇
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
1 year
When a squirrel is eating an acorn i’m like ok.. a little on the nose but sure
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
2 years
how is skateboarding going to the be in the olympics if you cant smoke weed
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
🙂🤞
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
this twist
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
Imagine if Woodstock happened today. iPads everywhere 🙄
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Walking into a tattoo parlor and asking for whatever’s most popular
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
I’m dead i signed up to be a parade ambassador and they sent me 1 single pair of brown leggings
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
2 years
if someone made my food without love i would kill myself
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
2 years
The oscars is the grammys for people who make movies
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
1 year
This concept
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Guess who thinks he just ate shroom chocolates
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
💔
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
2 years
if I found out my friend was going by their middle name i would kill myself
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
Ok here is the new meme guy. His catchphrase is “Shaddup!” I think there’s a lot to work with here. Good luck.
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
mmhmmm
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
1 year
her doodling “ice spice squarepants” in her journal
@PopBase
Pop Base
1 year
Ice Spice reveals the only animated character she’s ever had a crush on is SpongeBob.
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
Thoughts
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
I miss when i wanted to learn ableton. Most male attention i have ever received
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
I miss interrupting my friends 😫
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
i have a tweet that would go viral 100k likes no problem but it’s not really my vibe - who wants it ?
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
4 years
U show up at ur Airbnb and it’s the White House. That is plot of my movie “So I think I just Airbnb’ed the White House?”
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@wasteofaface
randomcontrol
3 years
“Christian girl autumn” summer
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