Nalulungi
@vntmkb
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🦋 • Delulu is the only solulu • ⚽️ @arsenal @arsenalWFC • 🏎 @LewisHamilton
Neither Here Nor There
Joined July 2016
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Pinned Tweet
I cannot be friends with anyone that wakes up and starts talking immediately. What are you rushing to say?
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I’m actually gifted at sleeping. I actually never cease to impress myself. If they ever have awards for sleeping, make sure they know about me.
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One day, I will talk about how hard it is to work with adult Ugandans as a young person😡
People really think being young means you’re stupid
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And just like that - LLB Law (Hons) with proficiency in French ✅
I’m exhausted but I’ve finished!
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KAMPALA! This city is a trap💀
12th Feb - Ruger
13th Feb - Uncle Waffles
15th Feb - Chike
27th Feb - TxC
30th Apr - Fireboy DML
Pending: NSG
Mind you, we’ve only been outside for a week😂
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“I like your hair better when...” - I beg, keep it to yourself. It’s MY hair so I’ll do what I want with it. Thanks🙂
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COVID is in Uganda guys. It’s so real. People are dying. Please please be careful!
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Pinky promise?🥺
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Tequila is sold out in the whole of Kampala? What problems do you people have?
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Uncle Mo’s latest video has killed me😂😂😂
Ugandans can only fight a war if it’s 9-5. We have things to do in the evenings. We also don’t fight at lunchtime. Or in the rain💀💀💀
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Okay but actually, what’s with the 5am rain everyday? Must we cross rivers and seas to go to work every morning?
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In this Uganda, I only survive on prayers and cetrizine. Why is it so dusty?
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Rwanda needs to host Asake next. It’s not everyday slip and slide at Cricket Oval. I’m happy to catch a flight and enjoy the concert in a proper arena.
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Darlings. If you’ve come to Uganda on a flight from Dubai in the last 2 weeks, please call the Ministry of Health ASAP.
Toll Free: 0800203033 / 0800100066
Mr Kagirita: 0782909153
Dr Muruta: 0772460297
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Lol dear Ugandans, if I’m going to give you a job as a PROFESSIONAL, kindly do not come into my DM with “btw this is my chance to say your beautiful”
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Vanessa: I’m eating corn instead of starch today
Mama: Corn *is* starch
Daddy: Omwana wange muleke teyasoma Science
Even my parents don’t rate me🥲😭
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Ugandans are the funniest people I know and I absolutely love that non-Ugandans would never understand our humour
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I haven’t even read the article yet, but this headline is so unserious😭😭😭
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I’ll say it again. If you don’t romance me in Luganda, I don’t want it.
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Dear Ugandans,
“Who is your father?” is not a greeting and neither is it any of your business.
Regards, Management.
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‼️ IT IS MIDNIGHT IN KAMPALA ‼️
Happy 21st Birthday Desire🎉❤️
@DesireNamazzi__
£21, $21, €21 or 21k to save Desire!
Donate donate donate! RT, screenshot, tell a friend to tell a friend!
#TogetherForDesire
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COVID is very real. COVID is very much in Uganda. COVID kills.
Stay home, stay safe.
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Just a reminder to
@KahumaRaymond
that we’ve got 1.1k likes on the last vlog and we need a part 2 nowwwww
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I stand at a humble 5’3. As a man, if you’re my height, what do you want with me? Let’s be serious💀
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Someone asked me if I can meet up on July 11th for a coffee. I just had to walk away😂
Let's respect each other pls💀
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As an adult, why do you have disappearing messages?
But also, if that’s the choice you’ve made, don’t turn around and ask me what my text was. Stand ten toes down on your nonsense.
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The best thing I ever read was “poor planning on your end does not make your problem a priority on mine”
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Cafe Javas - 7.5/10
I ordered the Mexican burger and it banged! There were a few too many jalapeños, but if you like spice, that won’t be a problem. The rest of it comes together so well. Excellent choice of bun and the sauceee😍 Their fries leave a lot to be desired though.
Le Chateau - 5/10
Choice of bread was atrocious. Fries were mid too. Love the caramelised onions and the patty was seasoned well - not sure why they thought carrot chunks would be a good addition though.
Simple sesame bun and no carrots, this would’ve been an easy 8.
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Btw, in your wedding speeches, y’all should stop saying, “Mr X, I hope you don’t hurt my friend cause if you do, I’ll fight”. It’s awkward and embarrassing. If you can’t give a speech off the top of your head, write it beforehand. Practice with an audience. Get feedback.
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We haven’t forgotten when you lied about Uncle Waffles…
Ayra must first confirm it herself💀
VIBES ON VIBES, we can't wait to see you there.
#Tusimbudde
🔥
@ayrastarr
#BlanketsAndWineKla
#BlanketsAt10
#BlanketsIsMe
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Uganda Driver’s Licensing might be the only system that works in this country.
So so efficient! In and out in under 20 minutes.
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IT IS BAD MANNERS TO SMELL BAD. Especially in public.
Please stay home if you don’t want to bathe😭🤢
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Naye these “London and Paris” clothes…😭 You guys think we’ve never been to Europe? Or that we don’t know Shein and PLT💀
#KampalaCreme
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PSA: If your name is Daniel and you’ve been saying you’re out with me, your girlfriend Precious has told me to leave you alone.
Kindly stop lying with my name. Cheat with chest💀
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How do you guys buy cars in this here Uganda?
URA taxes are $100k??? How can an $80k car cost $190k here? Make it make sense
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The most reckless drivers in Kampala ranked:
1. Wish drivers
2. Train Up A Child (Bugolobi) school vans
3. Mark X drivers
4. Gov’t plates that end in C, H and X
5. Continuity Global Solutions drivers
Do better! Especially no. 2 - you’re literally transporting people’s babies
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Muting “keyboard” because guys don’t know how to be funny anymore😭
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Happy Valentine’s Day🌹
I wish you all a beautiful and easy love. A faithful love. May you be loved the way you want to be loved. May you never have to beg or struggle to be loved. I wish you a dreamy, cheesy love. For my lovers, may love come to you as freely as you give it❤️
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It’s because there’s like 6 of you guys. No one has the money to fly you and your team to UG.
Maybe offer to send like half the group and try again💀
My Uganda people 🇺🇬 we’ve been trying to come for like 2 months. NO SERIOUS PROMOTER! RT please and if you know any reply or qt for us. Thanks 🖤🙏🏾
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Uganda is off the red list starting 4am Monday🥳🥳
No quarantine starting Monday!
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This you?
Nze simala gogela! You can come and use your "Harvard mouth" to do miracles! "I don't want money, and I don't want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend me some fucking courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely."
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Dad: “Vanessa, did you know you have 3 piercings in your ear?”
Noooo, dad, I didn’t know💀
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Man💔
RIP Brenda and Haruna. May God be with, and comfort both families in this time🙏🏾
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My entire relay training team from a few years ago is at the Olympics but me all I know is to go to brunch🙃
Anyway, the weekend is here! Twende tupaate🎉
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How can you expect me, standing at a humble 5’3, to be bigger than anyone?
Never💀
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I really try to stay civil on this app but honestly, fuck everyone who left a body-shaming or otherwise negative comment on Desire’s birthday pictures.
And a special fuck you to everyone that’s now apologising because they heard of her “condition”.
You all deserve hell.
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I wish Ugandan orphanages had angel trees. Like donating food and all is great, but it would be nice if the kids could also get things they WANT, not just NEED.
Anything from clothes, shoes, toys, etc. They should be allowed to be as specific as they want, however impractical.
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Crazy how a wave of grief can hit you after years of living on auto pilot.
You can’t even explain that you’re only now crying over something that happened so long ago.
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I detest people’s inability to communicate. So much could be done to help if you speak up.
Failed to deliver on a promise? Communicate. Need more time? Communicate. Haven’t understood a task? Communicate. Have a problem? Communicate.
It’s that simple.
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To know Danny is to know love.
To love Danny is to explore your own potential to love to the maximum, and to constantly and relentlessly push the boundaries of the love you give out.
Everyone needs a Danny. He deserves the world, nothing less.
Happy Birthday
@SebbaaleD
❤️
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Let me put y’all on some Ugandan YouTubers to subscribe to.
1. Jan Mukiibi (
@janmukiibi
)
2. Melbs (
@Shealwaysdoesit
)
3. Mr Schnack (
@mrugandanschnack
)
4. Apollo M (
@muwnge
)
5. Rachael Nalumu
6. EverythingAish (
@aish__ox
)
7. Leoni Joyce (
@LeoniJoyce
)
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I’m done pretending - how the hell are mirrors made? Like what even is a mirror?
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I’ll deny it the whole year but Christmas movies really expose the hopeless romantic in me💀
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If there is anything I’ve learnt this summer, it is that you can become the best of friends with the most unexpected of people. So, here’s to giving friendship a chance 🙏🏾
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Hi
@MalembeLife
I think we deserve a Serena concert for Valentine’s next year, with
@RicHassani
,
@KohenJaycee
and
@itsJoshuaBaraka
🫶🏾
Would be much appreciated,
V x
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I just found $150 that I hid from myself 4 years ago. Buying a jet tomorrow!
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“You’re bored? Good for you. You could have something more radical than boredom. You could be in the grave. There is no boredom in the grave” - M7
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My jajja asked me to be a bridesmaid in January and I asked which one of her daughters was getting married. Whole time, she was asking for herself🥲
I need to stop making assumptions💀
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I prayed for one thing and God gave me OPTIONS! I’m actually spoilt for choice. My God is the greatest!
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Congratulations to the entire Uganda olympic team🇺🇬👏🏾
Thank you for being a true representation of sports talent in Uganda, and for working hard against all odds!
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“They act like two legends cannot co-exist” - Jermaine Cole (2019)
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#AsAUgandan
: we have collectively turned excessive drinking into a nationality trait in the name of enjoyment, but we forget that it’s really not by force. People need to learn to drink what they can handle and to turn down alcohol when they want to, without having to justify why
this has been my fave video to record in a while, cause there’s just soo much to say about kampala and booze 😂 but mostly cause it really got personal, and also allowed me to take stock 🤎
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Body odour is becoming increasingly common in Kampala. Deodorant is a basic need ba dia - don’t think we can’t smell you x
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@fiagirly
@curlybrownguy
I genuinely love your haters because how dare you not be the iPhone that took the selfie??? Stop being so mediocre Deni😭💀
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Ever looked at the people around you and just thought, damn I’m really lucky😍😍
I’m so thankful for my family and my friends😩❤️
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As a man that has come to the salon for a haircut, why is your shirt being unbuttoned in the name of head massage?
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“Not drinking is like abstinence. It’s an option but is it the option you want?” 💀😂
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This guy is asking for my student ID at 9am. Do I look like I’m here because I want to be?
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Aubameyang should be free
📉
#FPL
PRICE FALLS (selected) 📉
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang - £11.4m
Hector Bellerin - £5.1m
Leandro Trossard - £5.8m
Aleksandar Mitrovic - £5.5m
Mark Noble - £4.6m
Pablo Fornals - £6.3m
Matt Doherty - £5.7m
Gareth Bale - £9.3m
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TL sleep? Never underestimate the power of a ‘good morning beautiful’
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Between Industrial Area, Spring Road and Portbell Road, I won’t have a car left after this year😭
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This is the kind of vlog that will have you smiling and tearing a little🥺
GUYS IM BACK ON YOUTUBE ❤️🔥 World's Largest Ugandan Rolex - Guinness World Record!
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