Vishcomical
@vishcomical
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Following
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Lighted Hearted Humor. Corporate Finance. Cricket. Acting. Life Philosophy. Fascinated about Astrology. IIM Indore. SRCC
New Delhi, India
Joined April 2013
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If a youtube video has an unskippable ad of 20 seconds, I skip the video.
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Amitabh: Arre Khaana le aao
Nurse: No sir, nahi milega, aap already kha chuke ho.
Amitabh: Kisne bola?
Nurse: Aaj Tak pe dekha.
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A struggling actor proves his acting skills to become a star.
Star-kids just lose weight.
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Delhiite after having first bite of North Indian food in a Mumbai restaurant.
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Jethalal: Madhvi Bhabhi, Komal Bhabhi, Roshan Bhabhi, Babita ‘Ji’.
Babita: Bhide Bhai, Haathi bhai, Sodhi Bhai, Jetha ‘Ji’
💘💞
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Taarak Mehta has had many such episodes where you almost fall down laughing but one episode where there is a joke almost every 20 seconds is 913. Bhide’s stuck mooch. Go treat yourself if you are feeling sad.
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Abhishek Upmanyu and Vipul Goyal are the only two standup comedians who have been able to continually maintain the quality of humor since beginning of their career till now.
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People who say PM
@narendramodi
is 'acting' while cleaning Mamallapuram beach, yes he is. But it is not literally about the 2 or 3 waste item he clears, obviously he won't, he is the PM. It is about giving a message, to keep India Clean. Lets not criticize for the sake of it.
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Nitin Gadkari: Nahane jaa raha hu
Wife: Toliya?
Nitin: Haan aaj highway inaugration hai, kal se lunga
Wife: Towel ki baat kar rhi hu
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There is freedom of expression in India but somebody needs to tell that to Jahnavi Kapoor.
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Patriotism in Childhood was defined by never selecting Pakistan as a team to play for in a cricket video game.
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Taarak Mehta Old Episodes should officially be added as one of the mental therapies.
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Sadak 2 is rated 1.1 on IMDB. Its rating couldn't even reach a number they had in the name of the movie.
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*Ola Driver suddenly cancels ride when I had to reach somewhere urgently*
Ola Support: Please share your booking ID, we will look into it.
Me:
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Modi Ji announced 20 Lakh Crore Package in the year 2020 at exact time of 20:20.
Modi Ji, you genius.
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The only way Rhea Chakraborty can now save herself is if she hires Saul Goodman.
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Its Mahashivratri and you don't watch this episode, are you even a Taarak Mehta fan?
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Goli beta, Masti nahi.
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In middle class families, TV remotes and kids are treated the same way if they don't work.
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Norbert Elekes is not the first man who surprised us by speaking Hindi.
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EA Sports knew about this meme format since Cricket 2007.
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Additional things you eat food with:
1. Achaar
2. Makhan
3. Ketchup
4. Taarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashmah
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Parag Agrawal will head Twitter from California. Baniyas can never be away from CA.
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A fun fact I realized: A person named Roopak Kapoor has the surname as his name spelled backwards.
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*Eats too much*
*Drinks Eno because of indigestion*
*Feels better*
*Orders more food*
Stomach:
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KL Rahul is like that friend who got asthama because he was best friends with a smoker.
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People with a good heart ask for Tea, and not Coffee.
Kyunki Dil wale puchde ne Chaa.
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Waqt OTP jaisa hota hai.
Kabhi zyaada der tak ek sa nahi rehta.
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Truecaller: Someone viewed your profile
Me: Who?
Truecaller:
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Tiger Shroff in a new SOTY song: "Maine suna h Mumbai Dilli diyan kudiyaan, Raat bhar nahi sondiaan"
Bhai kisse suna hai. Galat suna hai. Sabko office jaana hota hai subah. Sab sote hain. Aur suna bhi hai toh humein kyu bata raha hai. Aur upar se ismein naachne wali kya baat h.
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Backbencher: Teacher ne aaj test lena tha. Shayad bhool gyi lena.
Frontbencher:
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Whenever Jethalal flirts with Babita, we never feel bad for Iyer. We need to improve as human beings.
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Chahal looking at SKY and thinking how they could have performed better if they had included him in the squad.
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From 72000/year to 72000/month to 72000 crore per year. Rahul Gandhi ki haalat 72 se 72 hoti jaa rahi hai.
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My neighbours put a cloth with spikes on their car to avoid dogs climbing over it. The dog climbed and made space in between the spikes to sleep. Even dogs teaching us that where there is a will, there is a way.
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ACs in Delhi be like saalon abhi 10 din pehle toh geyser chal rha tha tumhara
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We live in a weird world.
Robots are being named Chitti and Humans are being named X Æ A-12.
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*Rich Father takes out cash from ATM*
He to his son: Chal beta, tere liye Iphone leke aate hain.
*Breaks Signal on road*
*In the evening* Son: Thanks for the new Redmi Note 7, Dad.
#NewTrafficRules
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*Abhishek Bachchan calls Amitabh*
Amitabh: Namaskar
Abhishek: Arre waah Dad itni jaldi phone utha lia, kahan ho?
Amitabh: Humara desh aur poora vishv aaj COVID-19 ki chunauti..
Abhishek:
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Irony is that this waterfall is named Naigara but it still falls.
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In Mumbai, you would find more greenery to the south of Matunga because Grass is always greener on Dadar side.
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*Rich Families*
Boy: I want to buy a puppy.
Mom: Aww, sure, on your next birthday.
*Middle Class Families*
Boy: Mujhe kutta paalna hai.
Mom: Uski tatti tu saaf karega?
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Kangana in Bus
Conductor: Ticket dikhao
Kangana: Abhi thode mahinon mei mil jayegi
Conductor: Arre madam bus ki ticket ki baat kar raha hu
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Bhai jo movie 10 din hall pe nahi lagi uske 10 saal kaun manata hai
A film that celebrates the essence of friendship, parenthood and family! Here's to 10 years of
#WeAreFamily
✨
@karanjohar
@apoorvamehta18
@rampalarjun
@itsKajolD
#KareenaKapoorKhan
@sidpmalhotra
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Indians: It is high time India becomes a cashless economy.
Ola Drivers: Sir cash payment nahi hai toh nahi aaunga, cancel kar do.
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Aryabhatta invented the number of the texts you would get if you stop texting first.
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When people switch to Signal messenger when Whatsapp is down for sometime.
Signal:
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@flintoff11
@Man_issssh
Replying after 5 years isn't Savage. Hitting 6 sixes in 6 balls within next 10 mins is.
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Mukesh Ambani's brother has Anil balance in his bank account right now.
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AAP: Marry me!
Congress: I like you, but only as a friend.
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Boy: How many RTs for a date?
She: 1000
*Gets 1000 RTs*
Boy: Chalein date pe 😍?
She: Abe main bhi ladka hi hu, aaja PUBG khelte hain.
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Ananya Pandey: Maine bahot struggle ki hai.
Indian fathers who tell their kids how they used to swim through rivers to reach their school:
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You know you have entered adulthood when no one calls you at 12am on your birthday🥳
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Cardiac Arrests happening to young people. Stress can't be the reason for a sudden rise. What else?
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*Somewhere in South India*
Husband: I am leaving for office.
Wife: Office files rakh li? And Office IDLi? Ya Medu?
He: Vada silly question that is.
Wife: Dosa important questions
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Maine is lockdown mei Bhagwad Gita 5 baar padh li, Bible 4 baar and Quarantine baar.
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Jaya Bachchan: Bollywood Industry needs to be supported by the Government.
Government: Ok. We will open more Rehab centers 👍
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Yesterday was World Sleep Day. Today is International Happiness Day.
Clear indication that you become happy after you sleep a lot.
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Natu Kaka passed away but ‘Seth Ji aapne mujhse kuch kaha?’ will always remain immortal. Om Shanti 🙏
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English: Drink this and Dance here.
Hindi: Isco Pique Aspas Nacho.
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Mujhe aajtak samajh nahi aaya ki ghungroo toot gye toh usmei naachne wali kya baat thi?
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Mai south indian restuarant gya, wahan 2 waitresses thi. Ek mujhe Idli di aur 1 December.
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Jawed Habib charges you 350 rupees per haircut. Salon ne loot macha rakhi hai.
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You would stop getting offended if you accept that others' opinions are just opinions, not facts.
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Gareeb aadmi pet paalne ke liye kaam karta hai aur ameer aadmi Pet paalne ke liye.
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*Me introducing a friend to my two other friends*
Me: This is my friend Huku.
F1: Hi Huku
F2: Hi Huku
Huku: Hi Hi.
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A selfie with car of my dreams...
Just before its real owner came and drove it away.
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*How I pass time at night*
*Mosquito flies and sings into my ear.*
Me: Aap Mumbai aa sakte hain.
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Not any joke but just wanted to say that on a deeper level, this meme template tells us that Happiness lies within. We can be unhappy with maximum and happy with less than Maximum.
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Rahul Bose: I got charged 442 rupees for 2 bananas.
South Delhi Girl: Wow. Thats cheap.
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Modi: Hum desh ke chowkidar hain.
Megha Sharma: Ek cigarette le aao please.
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