Tolulope 🌹
@virtuallytolu
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Social Media Manager 👩🏽💻 || Mental Health Enthusiast 🫶🏼
Nigeria
Joined April 2022
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Pinned Tweet
I was talking to a friend who just landed her first job. 🤸🏼♀️
She’s a social media manager for a new brand.
She was so excited about it but something she said struck me.
“I didn’t even know this role was still in demand.”
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I thought this guy was kidding when he asked us to meet up at the junction for an evening stroll. I took no importance until he called me around 7:30 pm.
I picked up and he said he was at the gate, waiting for me. I told my mum I wanted to get something around and she said bye.
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He locks his mum up in the kitchen whenever "she gets on my nerves" until he feels like releasing her. When he told me this, he said it like it was a norm and laughed it off.
PS: His mum is an elderly woman. She had him late.
Ladies reply with some of the reasons you stopped talking to a man.
But some people consider petty.
I’ll start- one time a Man called me and I was sorting out laundry to give my guy who washes for me.
He said: you mean you don’t wash clothes?
I never spoke to him again please
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@lowkeyalbert
* Pay attention to the things they say.
* Listen to understand, not to reply.
* Ask open-ended questions that'll make them express themselves.
* State your needs. Don't expect them to get the cues every time.
* Be honest.
* Study appropriate time for serious discussions, etc.
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After conversing with my internal board members (pillow, pen, and paper), I have come to a conclusion that I'll continue the story.
The second episode, "Finding Dave" will be made public by tomorrow, 02:00 pm. 😌😹🔥
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Ouch!
It was my bed I fell from.
I ruffled my hair and itched my scalp with so much fervor. Picking up my phone made me know it was just 3:15 am.
It was a dream.
My heart slowed down and stopped pounding against my ribs.
Dave?
Who's Dave?
🥺
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When I got outside, he was looking all dressed and I kept wondering if it was a stroll or a dinner date.
Why's he wearing a long sleeve shirt and pants to match? I wore shorts and a sweatshirt, so I felt awkward. Anyway, I smiled and hugged him.
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He said he had something for me before we went on the stroll.
"Okay, can we go to that shed or somewhere more private?"
We were still standing in front of my gate and cars were passing with their headlights on us every time. I felt exposed and unsafe with that.
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"Sure, let's get in."
Where? He was pointing at a parked car. I didn't notice it at first. Does he have a car? But we just met two days ago when he went to buy bread opposite my house. He was looking like an average Nigerian student trying to figure out life.
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He took my hand and smiled at me. I needed him to say something.
Suddenly, the car jerked. Baba was about to drive. I took a deep breath, snatched my hand away from Dave's grip, and opened the door.
The car was in motion already and I jumped out.
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@UfotUbon
It’s love.
He was probably making excuses for her in his head.
“Maybe she wants to know me more.”
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Well, life comes with surprises.
We got in the backseat and I saw a man in the driver's seat.
"Baba, oya."
Baba? I started feeling uncomfortable. My phone was inside the house because I thought the stroll will take about 20 minutes. What's going on? I looked at Dave.
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🤭
Ladies that have confidence in this particular hairstyle are goated>>>>😋❤️💯
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Very crazy.
I tried to make him see how it was wrong and he kept on using demeaning words to describe her actions and how she 'barges' into his room without knocking, and other petty things.
I thought I could help him by talking to someone older that knows us both.
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There's a draw.
Quote this Tweet with your fav pic so far in 2023 🤲🏾
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When he got to know I told someone, everything turned against me.
I sha don comot.
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@PenTitan
Maybe because they believe she 'snatched' their man.
You can't even snatch who doesn't want to be snatched. Everybody knows what they're doing.
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@CaviarPurple
Cos I be hot cake. 😂
He might succeed in persuading me to enter it. He was very manipulative and good with words. Also made me question my decisions and sanity.
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At that time, I only thought of it as him being disrespectful to his mum and I felt I could help him see her in a different light.
It's now that the weight of his mindset, actions, and wickedness is glaring to me.
IT'S NOT PETTY, YEA. But, that was the experience I had.
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7 MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT INTROVERTS
Introverts are people that feel more comfortable spending time alone than with others.
They focus on their inner strength and mind, rather than external affairs and interactions. They don't like groups.
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@ninagrewal97
Yea.
Manipulation in its loudest form. They turn it against you and it all comes back to you in the end. It's almost useless trying to make them see the wrong part of their actions.
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"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Afi"
"Afi who?"
"Afi die on top your matter ehhhh, baby o!"
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There was a time in my life where I felt empty without being in a romantic relationship.
The patterns of getting involved with people were the same. Very intense chemistry at the beginning and dwindled emotions from my end halfway.
I was there because I needed to fill a gap.
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- Oyo, been there
- UI, been there
- Agbowo, been there
- Eleyele, been there
- Osun, been there
- Bowen, been there
- Iwo, been there
- Alakia, been there
8 states 🤭
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Hi there!
Welcome to my timeline. I'm Tolulope, a writer who has found her fulfilment in mental health. That makes me an enthusiast? Well, yes.
While you're here, check this thread — a compilation of all my threads. It's good content you shouldn't miss.
Let's dive in.
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When I started growing this account last year, I used to feel envious of tweets that made large numbers.
I tried to copy some of them and even write better.
Nothing changed.
You can steal content, but you can't steal authority and originality.
Tell your story.
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BACKHANDED APOLOGY/NON-APOLOGY APOLOGY
-A Thread 🧵-
These are statements that don't express remorse, as an apology should.
It's a form of gaslighting, equal to emotional abuse. The abuser pretends to apologize and wins the disagreement by blaming the other person subtly.
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When I knew what it meant for a guy to ask a lady out, I was sensitized by my friends in high school.
They said, even though I wanted to be his girl, I should say "I'll think about it". It was supposed to make me appear hard to get and classy.
It was also...
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@ojay_obin
"Your word should be your bond."
It's honourable for a man to do as he says. I don't know what anyone else might think, but cheating isn't a mistake. If you want to taste from somewhere else, take your leave.
Na small things dey start disrespect. Once you start apologizing...
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@Postsubman
Olojukokoro, alaim'ore ni anti yi.
After paying for the food, he gave you 5k and you call him broke. If you're not broke, you wouldn't be bothered about how much he gave you for t-fare.
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I remember in 2020, I stopped talking to a guy I was getting attached to when he told me he locks up his mom in the kitchen or restroom if she pisses him off. He laughed it off and expected same from me.
He's the only one that lives with his mom. She's quite aged.
It's creepy!
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@nate_postlethwt
You're not responsible for how they feel every step of the way. You're not bad for not being able to come through for them at the expense of your comfort. You're not a burden bearer.
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Are you a UI student if Spirit Chapel guys haven't stopped you, at least, twice? 😂
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It's my dad's birthday. 🥺🎉❤️
Please, say a word of prayer for him when you see this.
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Someone being an ex doesn't mean they're evil or monsters. So, it's possible.
I'm also someone's ex. I'll later end up with someone's ex too. We're all exes trying to find a place to permanently put an end to our ex-peditions.
Somebody with yo ex rn thinking they found the love of their life 😂
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@PenTitan
I agree.
Men are innate leaders and have the aura to be "in charge".
Time and again, my 9-year-old brother has proven this to me. Last week, I was running away from a hen and he ran after it to catch it.
"Aunty Precious, don't worry, I've caught it."
I felt protected. 😂
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BREADCRUMBING - Leading on without commitment
- A Thread🧵-
Have you ever been in or heard of a situation where someone gives the other person attention, time and signs that imply interest but aren't particularly defining it?
The person shows signs of being attached but isn't.
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"You're like the thing that makes the universe explode
Into the colors of a world I've never known"
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Ohhzone layer?
Told this guy I missed him and he replied with “ohh”.
Guys, what zone is this? 😩
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Writing is not that deep.
It can seem intimidating if you don't do it often or for money.
Or like you've lost your prowess with words.
The good news? Anyone can get better at it.
If I've been away for a while and want to get back to writing, here's what I'll do:
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SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER (SAD) - A Thread 🧵
"Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” – Walter Anderson
• Symptoms (Physical and psychological)
• Causes
• Effects
• Getting over it
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January. November.
10. Show us a picture of you at the beginning of the year and now.
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84% of women and 75% of men report having a toxic relationship at some point in their lives.
Keep reading to see 20 ways you can know if someone is good for you:
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THINGS YOU SHOULD DROP OFF:
1. Attaching your self-worth to material things
2. Justifying a bad habit with "it's not that bad"
3. Putting energy into WISHING people change
4. Blaming yourself for every failure you or your loved ones come across
5. Believing that success is luck
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@graceyyyy__
😂
Yes!
That was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Before then, he used to say stickers are babyish. I shouldn't send voice notes, and other shii. 😩
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ATTACHMENT STYLES IN RELATIONSHIPS
- A Thread 🧵-
Do you know that how well you are receptive to intimacy depends on the emotional connection you had with your caregiver(s) when little?
(Caregiver = one who cared for you in your infant stage)
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@ninagrewal97
The ones who understand this are a handful.
Love has been attached to possessiveness.
"If I don't have you, nobody else will."
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@obialoruchendu
@TheOluwabukunmi
😂
Irl, people are in love and enjoying it.
Twitter isn't real life. But some people will choose toxic positivity to be validated here.
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Mastering detachment has helped me. Not just from people, but from situations and ideas that no longer serve me.
The difference is in the movement. Pained, but I'm not held back. Unhappy, but I'm still going on with life.
"It's happened. Okay. What's next?"
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FINDING DAVE (LOCATION: Dreamland)
DAVE'S POV
Won ni won n wa mi.
I met Tolu four days ago when I went to get bread. She seemed cool and I felt she would be open to being friends with me. I just got back to Oyo State last week and I've been trying to get familiar...
I thought this guy was kidding when he asked us to meet up at the junction for an evening stroll. I took no importance until he called me around 7:30 pm.
I picked up and he said he was at the gate, waiting for me. I told my mum I wanted to get something around and she said bye.
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@sultanofvybezz
@PenTitan
"Their value attracts people to them."
Totally! You don't need to beg for relevance, if you're valuable.
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@ojay_obin
...for cheating, your worth with that lady diminishes — no matter how small.
More often than not, women hold on to that and rarely think twice when they're faced with a situation like that.
"After all, he has also cheated."
Respect begets respect. Stay with her or leave.
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You don't need to tell every Tom, Dick, and Harry:
• about your finances.
• why you act the way you do.
• how you spend your time.
• how your relationship with your family is.
• how your romantic relationship is.
People-pleasers mostly tend to overshare and feel bad later.
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-A Thread 🧵-
Everyone goes through hard times at various points. It's normal to feel down and disoriented for that period.
What's not normal is wallowing in self-pity and having the mindset that you're a victim of all unpleasant circumstances.
Self-pity isn't an emotion.
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I tried to salvage my edges. Face card? Spot-on. 🤭
The edges I styled on my hair now... 😭
They look like troubled waters.
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WHAT’S NEW?
Hi!
I am Tolulope.
I was the girl who juggled more skills than a circus act.
I learned a bit of everything, from calendar management, and YouTube script writing, to Canva designs.
I thought I was lost.
Huh…
Turns out I wasn’t.
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Woke up and decided to play dress-up.
For the sake of my calming edits, let’s name her… Caramel?
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I remember in 2020, I stopped talking to a guy I was getting attached to when he told me he locks up his mom in the kitchen or restroom if she pisses him off. He laughed it off and expected same from me.
He's the only one that lives with his mom. She's quite aged.
It's creepy!
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If I didn't have any plan to salvage what we had, I'd have laughed along with him and affirmed his actions.
He was a nice intelligent dude.
I'm not sure he was emotionally intelligent.
It was his RED FLAG. I had to let go. 👋🏽
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@jon_d_doe
Love without respect lacks substance, tbh.
"sexual exclusivity"
Once you don't feel like no one apart from your man deserves your gateway, you're subconsciously carefree. All your 'bad bish' vibes should be just for your guy.
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I'm not sorry, but a friendship (circle) where you get castigated for taking a step different from theirs — for your good — isn't healthy.
If you constantly think of burying what you really want because "they'll react one kind to me", you're undermining yourself. Leave.
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Are you being RUDE or BLUNT?
You should open this thread. 🧵
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@ShegunTweets
He's gonna be hella embarrassed seeing this. Smh.
And the so-called friends? Free content for them. What if he hit his head against the wall and gbam? 😬
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How To Improve Yourself:
1. Plan ahead.
2. Learn to say no when needed.
3. Try something new.
4. Journal to observe your thought process/Free write.
5. Come up with a consistent morning routine.
6. Listen to podcasts.
7. Revisit your goals.
8. Have an achievement file.
More? 🙃
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Someone who cares about you won't constantly compare you to other people. They won't emphasize your insecurities or fears. It doesn't matter if they claim it's a joke.
"It would have made more sense if you had a car like Jude."
Well, leave and go meet Jude.
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The funny thing was, I tried to talk to him in the nicest way possible. I tried to make him see the bad in his actions, he turned everything against me.
I was so worried that I told a big bro that knew about our friendship. The guy vexed because I 'gossiped about him'. 😥😹
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