Valerie Halla
@valeriehalla
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Hey. Follow me here instead, OK?→ https://t.co/jQIMhmpBqf 🍀 Cartoonist, writer, musician 🌿 Queer, trans 🥦 She? He? 🐍 Sometimes NSFW
Portland, OR
Joined October 2014
NEW RELEASE: CURSE/KISS/CUTE episode 0: “Aster Asks!”. Read it for free right now: CURSE/KISS/CUTE is a new erotic web novel about cute gay monsters hooking up in a cursèd wood, with illustrations and an original soundtrack. 🔞 For adults only! 🔞
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things i learned in school:.- deep-seated fear of teenagers.- crushing anxiety.- how to pretend to respect authority figures.- long division. things i wish i learned in school:.- how to cook.- personal finances.- non-americanized world and political history.- how to fucking cook,.
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the thing about boots theory is that we're converging on a phase of capitalism where you kind of can't buy good stuff that lasts even if you can afford it, because there is simply no reason for any company to sell you something once that they could sell you 100 times.
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proposal to rename them to "trans-exclusionary radical misogynists" because excluding trans women isn't feminist, and also, you can't search-patrol the word TERM.
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hey. apropos of nothing: switch to firefox. throw your browser in the trash and use firefox. switch to firefox because firefox is not chrome and every other browser is, including all of the ones that are not called chrome, and this is existentially bad for the future of the web.
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i wonder if one of the greatest lessons of our generation will be that ironic detachment is not an inherently neutral stance; that humor is not necessarily benevolent; that viewing anything and everything as a joke doesn't make you stronger or wiser, but exactly the opposite.
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its easy to get sad about your long distance friends. but did u know. every time u both go outside, you're technically in the same room.
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Sexual art, porn etc is an irrepressibly valuable part of the human cultural ecosystem and those artists do more and more important work than any of the spineless tech executives who dutifully throw it under the bus the second their evangelical corporate overlords agitate for it.
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responding to the phoenix wright series with takes about "that's not how the legal system works. this is so illegal. phoenix wright is a bad lawyer" is like watching dragon ball z and going "wow. that's not how martial arts works. in real life you're not allowed to do ki blasts".
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like, rich people are using a lot of the same garbage we are. even the most expensive phone on the market is dogshit in terms of build quality and longevity. it's all disposable! rich people can just afford to dispose of their garbage before its expiration date instead of after.
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vegans generally consider figs to be vegan because even though they DO in fact have wasps in them, the wasps LOVE to die inside a fig. cumming and dying inside of a fig is literally their favorite thing to do. we humans can only hope to go out in such a blaze of glory.
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i dislike the association that people who get defensive or act paranoid are automatically guilty or hiding something because that is also a description of how traumatized people behave.
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opinion: websites not having a "dark mode" is a major accessibility issue. it's not just a matter of preference; blazing white backgrounds are an eyestrain liability at any lighting level.
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this is hard to say kindly, but i feel that there are some people who think that pride is the comfort of having a nice, dictionary-defined, socially-accepted box to live in, and not the righteous fury of fighting back against the machinery that tries to put you in that box.
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school really fucked us up by teaching us that being 50% successful at something is functionally equivalent to being 0% successful, huh.
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"cowgirl is fine" is actually exactly what i said when i came out too.
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i love how pokemon region names are all fictionalized except the very first one which is named after the real area of japan it's based on, so it's like if you had a fantasy universe with such places as "faerieville" "the kingdom of cronklius" and "new jersey".
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it IS very funny how hard Warner Bros is trying to turn HP into a Forever Franchise while it's still inexorably bonded to an author who is constitutionally incapable of not trending on Twitter for some heinous bigoted shit at exactly the same time a trailer drops, EVERY time.
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imo forget sonic boom sonic, forget spiky teen sonic, forget squishy genesis sonic, sonic cd cutscene sonic is the #1 sonic look
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little known detail: japanese metroid fusion has a "for kids" mode that basically just takes out all the kanji to make it easier to read, but it also replaces the sexy ending images with various scenes from samus' past as well as this EXTREMELY good rendition of samus:
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plus, irrespective of the philosophical implications, it's just faster and nicer and all your favorite extensions are on it already and it's not developed by an advertising agency so ad blockers aren't constantly in peril of getting disabled by some forced update.
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If you're annoyed by the present push for positive, low-conflict queer fluff storytelling, remember there's a reason why people want that in their lives. Queer fluff art has an irreplaceable role as a tool for healing and it grosses me out to see it devalued as cheap or childish.
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millennial punctuation usage guide:. ! = . !! = !.!!!! = :)., = ?.,,, = ?!?!?. = profound disappointment.
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literally dozens of adults systematically fail to recognize that a 14 year old boy has too much ptsd to get in the haunted robot, so he dissociates so hard the whole planet turns into blood.
Explain your favorite anime in the worst possible way.
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re: "what's wrong with chrome," it has less to do with anything being wrong with chrome in and of itself and more to do with the peril of allowing exactly one corporation to control, at the most fundamental level, the way the web works.
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idk if you remember the web in the 00s, but we went through this once already with internet explorer. a lot of features we take for granted today were held back by months or years because IE just refused to implement them. 95% market share means you don't gotta do shit!!.
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my favorite thing about the resident evil series is that it never tries to pull that "maybe we're the real monsters" bullstuff. like no it turns out the real monsters are the billionaires with military contracts who live in castles and chronically ignore lab safety procedures.
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in this chapter aster will discover a large woman and unravel the mystery of how big her hands are compared to their very pettable head
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love is when you make a weird noise and they make a weird noise back at you.
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kirby teaches good morals:.- boys can be pink and cute.- food is tasty.- kissing your friends is good.- sleepy.
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america is afraid of gay polyamory because they know that once the massive Girlfriend Network is complete we will unionize and overthrow capitalism and the government.
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btw if you're a trans person and you're only attracted to trans people: that's not what being a chaser is. being attracted to people who are like you, who understand you, who have a similar relationship with their body and similar experiences with the world, is completely normal.
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The fucking gall of saying you can't find ten good comics in a time in our lives spilling over with incredible content by marginalized creators. Utterly surreal. Why do comics journalists pretend not know how to open a web browser and think that makes them cool and cultured
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being gay is fun, and it's great for bone health. doctors recommend being gay for at least an hour every day. i do it all the time, and look how many bones i have.
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PSA: worrying about whether or not you're really trans is pretty much a thing only trans people do.
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alexandria ocasio-cortez unfortunately did not know how to turn on the power in frantic factory in donkey kong 64.
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this is a snark but i'm also totally serious too. like, even referring to these folks as feminists is, to me, a failure to control the conversation. on no level is it useful to describe people who spend their free time trying to get trans people ostracized or killed "feminists".
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the most incredible trick ever pulled on mankind was trauma center presenting itself as just like a mundane, slightly boring surgery sim and then hitting you with STOP TIME USING THE POWER OF ASCLEPIUS TO EXCISE THE LUNG PTERODACTYLS.
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meritocracy believers really out there thinking that if they just work six million nine hundred thousand times harder they too can be like jeff bezos.
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the longer i spend in the 21st century the more i start to think that advertising is actually not just annoying but morally evil. we have created a machine more vast and intricate than god for the sole purpose of allowing rich people to beam thoughts directly into people's heads.
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i wish the emoji movie was a dry documentary about the history of unicode and text encodings.
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i want everyone to believe that they have the power to become a girl and commit thousands of dollars of property damage using dark magic.
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rich people, pretending not to understand tax brackets: "umm so if i make a dollar more than $9,999,999.99 a year i have to pay 70% taxes? <=/ sounds richphobic". me, on low-income public healthcare where that is actually literally how it works: *narrowly avoids death by $30*.
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i want to feel small today so i'm only doing micro trans actions. .
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the difference between a graphic novel and a visual novel is that a graphic novel has visuals and a visual novel has graphics.
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i love how all of the non-book animorphs media totally glosses over the fact that morphing is a process that takes several minutes during which you become a crackling bag of meat on the floor as your bones melt and half your mass is ejected into z-space.
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i think luigi smokes weed. i think it helps him with his anxiety. come over to luigi's mansion and chill with him on the couch. he made vegan paninis. he's trying to be more self aware and not talk too much about his problems, but you don't mind. you just like to be with him.
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i just think it's wild that undertale came out five years ago and triple-a game studios are still trying to pull the "moralize about how murder is bad while giving you the player no other verbs than murder" stunt.
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it means you're a vulnerable target for anyone with a vested interest in feeding you hateful ideas. all they have to do is speak the same language of crude jokes and sarcasm.
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did you know? sonic the hedgehog is actually gray. he only appears blue when he's moving towards you. when he's running away from you, he appears red.
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"i want to be a girl" hey girl "i wish i was a boy" welcome brother "gender is a weird spaghetti of feelings for me" ｅｎｔｅｒ ｔｈｅ ｎｅｂｕｌａ.
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Hey Kid's. it's not "Cringe" to be vulnerable, or cute, or positive, or kind.
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my sincere wish is that people would chill the ever-loving heck out about policing the boundaries of identity labels. terms of queer identity are self selected!! they are not concrete facts about a person they are tools for communication. like all language!.
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not only do i think boys should kiss, i think they should also whine a little in the back of their throat as they grip another boy's jacket lapels uselessly. it's my firmly held belief that boys should furtively glance at other boys' lips way too much.
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minecraft mods are so advanced. they just have blender for your minecraft guy now. anyway i made myself a normal model with nothing wrong with it
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when you think about it, it's kind of cute that a bunch of mammals decided to name the entire galaxy they live in "the milky way".
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Imagine trying to come out as trans knowing your gender reveal party had multiple casualties.
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any sufficiently advanced gender is indistinguishable from magic.
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lately i discovered the best way to read Garfield®, which is exclusively via text captions:
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Real Surgeon Reacts To Trauma Center!. "oh my god. this is so inaccurate. you would never rub antibiotic ointment on someone's beating heart to repair the lacerations caused by flaming heart spiders. but you know what i do love to rub ointment on? skillshare, today's sponso.
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it should be standard cultural practice for the name your parents give you to be like. provisional. like, even for cis people, don't you think it's weird that your parents pick a name for you when you've been alive for literally 2 minutes and they know Nothing about you???.
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it's so messed up that people just Don't Know that the only three web browsers that exist are chrome, firefox, and safari. here's the cheat sheet:.- if it's on iOS, it's safari. yes, even if it says it's chrome or firefox.- otherwise if it's not firefox or safari: it's chrome.
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When it comes to someone's beliefs about trans people, don't trust anyone who insists on calling trans women "male" and trans men "female".
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not only do i not think you should have to go through the rigmarole of proving you have dysphoria to get on HRT, i don't even think you need to be trans. why is being allowed to freely decide what hormones are in your own body not just an inalienable right. it's 2019.
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it's just not sane to force artists to gouge out a massive, bloody chunk of the human experience and then treat the end products of that ritual as meaningfully representative of our world. it may be art, but it's not free expression, and straight-up porn isn't the only victim.
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. but also, like, to call someone who wants women dead a feminist is doing charity work for them. it is affording them dignity they don't deserve and haven't earned and it legitimizes them inside feminism.
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being trans is contagious. being trans spreads through social networks. close knit friend groups will often seem to spontaneously transition at the same time. this is all true, and i know it from first-hand experience. is that supposed to be scary, though??? [1/6].
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i made a waltz about a boy who's a princess who's from space. it uses SNES samples and Genesis drums. it's called Trans-Neptunian Object:
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when i hear people getting mad about "bi lesbian" or whatever, i just get flashbacks to the million and one identical versions of this conversation trans and nonbinary people had to endure. "you can't call yourself a girl unless you [fulfill X number of medical requirements]" etc.
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stop creating fantasy worlds where being queer sucks 2017.
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hot take: "Laziness" is not a trait that exists in humans; it's shorthand for a series of ableist and classist assumptions that if you are not succeeding to some arbitrary standard it's because you 1. share the same values 2. are capable in the first place 3. choose not to.
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when i say learn to cook, what i really mean is learn to feed myself? i was able to take like, one home ec elective. i learned how to make spaghetti sauce. i didn't learn the versatility and resourcefulness required to make meals out of what's around, how to budget for food, etc.
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i want the art that's in there. i want that raw shit. it's basically the *only* thing i want. bits exist, here and there -- almost all of it is queer art, really precious crystals of expression created by people who never had the option NOT to be disillusioned with All This.
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never forget that this planet was stolen from you by a few wretched men, in whose wake we now cling together in fragmented communities, praying that our love for each other avoids their ire long enough for us to live a happy life before we're broken apart again.
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"hang on a sec, i gotta pee" - normal thing to say. "hang on a sec, i gotta pee in the toilet" - despite the elimination of potential ambiguity, an impossibly weird thing to say.
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We recently updated our content policy to allow artistic depictions of nudity. Unfortunately, some artists viewed this as an opportunity to depict nudity, which is unacceptable. We have therefore reverted our policies on artistic depictions of nudity, effective immediately.
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it's important to acknowledge that they utilize concepts from feminism as the basis of their reactionary ideology and that stemming the undercurrent of trans-exclusionary thought is an ongoing fight within feminism. .
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remember how the end of shadow's story in sonic 06 reveals that his ring bracelets are actually inhibitors that seal away shadow's true power?. well, i'm just saying:
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-- and on the other side, you have porn, cordoned off as Unacceptable Art, and with a massive financial disincentive to try to be anything *but* porn -- not to say porn isn't valuable in itself, but there's so many unexplorable possibilities just off to the side in the Art Chasm.
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you leave this empty chasm in the spectrum of art that can exist. on one side of the chasm, you have Acceptable Art, like movies, games and TV shows, that may have risque themes but are forbidden by taboo from ever depicting sexuality in a way that is raw and true --.
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HEY!! Are you reading my webcomic, Goodbye to Halos?. It's about:.- A trans magical girl and her weirdo queer found family.- Magic knife fights.- Cuddling your friends across time and space.- Pretty pictures of trees.- Angst. …and it's free to read at !!
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something different: "confession," a short comic about my self. what is art for? what is being an artist about? how do you save someone who lives inside you? . new pages intermittently over the next week or two!
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one way that you can improve your life generally is by adopting the ISO standard date format (YYYY-MM-DD).
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being a radical, unacceptable, uncategorizable, unapologetic queer weirdo is a form of protest all on its own. belonging on exactly your own terms is the only kind of belonging that will ever matter in the long run. this is my politics and it will be until the day i die. love ya.
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but every day, the avenues where that kind of content can exist and be monetized shrink and shrink, and the rules get even more odious and more capriciously enforced. it fucking sucks. that's all i have to say i guess.
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FAQ:.- the wasp is digested as the fig matures, so it doesn't impact the mouthfeel.- non-pollinating figs are pretty common now. if there's no crunchy seeds, there's no wasp!.- as a known liker of bugs and plants, i knew this before the adam ragusea video (however i DID watch it).
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dr. mario prescribes HRT on informed consent. dr. mario is a trans ally.
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i couldn't afford to register my copy so i don't have pronouns. i only have nouns free edition . every time you refer to me in third person you have to click out of a popup box saying how many days the trial has been expired for.
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the girls? i think they went to the break room to cool off
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steven universe is a beautiful, well-animated, touching cartoon with funny and gentle writing and sincere messages about love, respect and individual choice; its hard-won contributions to the landscape of real queer representation in kids' media will ripple for decades.
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make the comic you want to make, not the version of it you think will get the best reception. no matter what it is you really want to draw deep down, your audience IS out there, and a small but passionate readership is in a lot of ways just as good as a large but casual one.
Comic artists!!!! What are some of your tips for starting a comic/webcomic? For ppl that dunno where or how to start!! Tips, advice, stuff you wish you knew before diving in! Please share!! 💕Rts appreciated, I'd like to get a lot of input!.
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nutrition, meal planning, budgeting, learning a variety of cooking techniques, getting a generalized understanding of how it all works so that you can just take ingredients you have on hand and make meals happen when you're low on planned meals.
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the reason i jump on every possible opportunity to draw my transfem characters' dick bulge is because 1. it's cute and pretty 2. i am aggressively in favor of a world where people don't feel like it's a social faux pas to not turn their dick inside out before putting on a dress.
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how come political analysts keep seeming surprised that there's so much political unrest despite "the economy doing great." like yeah bitch i'm sure rich people are having lots of fun with all their money right now. literally nobody i know owns a house.
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