Mme. Fragonard
@useful_emetic
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@feelsdesperate
it’s so true and it’s frustrated me to no end. “The authority/source you’re relying on is not reliable, you have to do some of your own work to figure this out” is a more terrible, destabilizing thing for them to grapple w than whatever subject were arguing about
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@sivori
my friend dated someone for 2 years who said "I'm not sure." she dumped his ass, found someone on e harmony and married in 10 months, they have 3 kids
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@feelsdesperate
to your point: a polyamorous coastal elite PhD in an interview once said she and her friends sometimes liked to lurk in regional polyamorous online forums in places like small-town Arkansas and gawk at the trainwreck.
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@feelsdesperate
i guess it's all fun and entertainment to see the real-world effects of your utterly unscalable recreational lifestyle on the masses!
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when i was in nyc & single, i would attend opera shows at the lincoln center, alone, dressed up.
this must look like next-level cringemaxxing to some people, 40x crazier than going to a movie alone
cringe-maxxing is the first step, when you lean into the cringe and deny its power over you
cringe-forgetting is the next step, when the cringing chorus recedes from peripheral awareness, and you only remember it when considering the odd behavior of your peers
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@nonblankslate
taste in music generally is a poor proxy for compatibility & I don't understand anyone who invests more emotional significance into this than it deserves
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I lived next door to a woman who never should have gone to college, and got accepted for a master's degree online for sociology. her papers were incomprehensible garbage. the professors who gave her As were predators and I think often of emailing them to tell them what I think
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@c1nnamonbunny
some of the worst woke offenders are Asian, this is known. I would say it’s also heavily determined by class, age, how removed they are from 1st gen, etc.
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in retrospect, undergrad humanities was wild bc you could either take a course doing close readings of the Canterbury Tales & the Faerie Queene OR one where you filled your head with jargony post-truth garbage from World Renowned Scholar.
"Your choice, young person!" they said.
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@mmjukic
you have no idea what you're talking about, most people in the US have absolutely no desire to live in manhattan..
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@whstancil
i... i don't think i've ever really seen what Racist Twitter looked like. hoooo boy.
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This week, someone in my normie women’s knitting group said they stopped following almost all news some time ago. a chorus of agreements:
"a lot of it is lies anyway"
"my fam is healthier now than 4 yrs ago. all that panicking was for absolutely NOTHING.”
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i ended up meeting interesting people standing in line for last-call tickets! there was the korean opera singer who wanted to trade info. a couple of middle aged eccentric fans. once, i made friends w a romanian couple who invited me out after the show for drinks & olives
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my dad and my husband’s dad won’t “trade” in their stay at home wives because they honor their marriage vows and think their wives helped them in their success. what a strange thing to say.
what the "tradwife" isn't told is that if/when her husband tires of her & trades (sic) her in for a younger tradwife, she will have no career or identity apart from her tradwifery; & she will be forced to be grateful for alimony & child support. because if you define yourself as
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@77_steeze
honestly i've had some private conversations with people who say "I don't want to know about this topic."
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vast majority of my professional life was spent interacting with men ranging in age from late gen x to boomers, & the below was a key unifying principle in my interactions with all of them.
curious how the landscape will change in the next 30 yrs for those younger.
I try to teach my kids reciprocity, but it’s hard, not many people reciprocate
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i've been surprised lately by how often malevolence and evil is accompanied by hysterical self-pity. maybe i've always been naive to this
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mostly, i wanted to take advantage of $25 tickets for world class shows. but i like to think doing stuff like that helped me get more gutsy and adaptable and comfortable in my own skin. the aura/reality you create around you matters too, in dating or in relationships generally!
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@feelsdesperate
has anyone seen how woke black activist twitter talks about asians when they think no one is looking 👀
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@ofreacharound
@77_steeze
@feelsdesperate
i'd ghosted them all, but i got so incensed at this that sent a post to everyone that i was noping out of the community bc of their cancel-y ways. i said anyone was free to IM me to ask me my specific thoughts. not a single person did. 20 years of relationships, all gone.
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@feelsdesperate
i'm never getting over this. when i saw w/ my own eyes that the institutions had ceased to orient me toward sense i made a u-turn to self-correct & watched w/ horror as most of my friends marched merrily off a cliff off those printed directions
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@StrangelEdweird
I'm so flabbergasted at how awful this is. even at the musicality level, the main escalating cry of Jolene repeated 4x conveys desperation, not empowerment and confidence.
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as an asian, i had very intense, problematic racial dysphoria when i was 11-13 - a 'white' alter ego that i drew and wrote about who had different features & different skin. i can't imagine what it would have been like if anyone had indulged me back then..
When I spent some time in Seoul, I learned that it’s quite normal for average middle class teen girls to have sex with older men in exchange for gifts or money to save up for plastic surgery — a real life example of a place where “sex work” has been normalized.
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now, was it a little WEIRD to go to a show where it was mostly couples dressed up to the nines? i guess. and i never had any real expectation i'd find a hetero guy to date there, that wasn't why i was going
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due to my experience door knocking for dems, i was invited to canvas for bernie w/ brooklyn leftist friends. they made a detour to a legal weed shop hours away & by the time we got back, the canvassing had ended. ending this with a joke would be putting a hat on a hat.
I wouldn't say the Bernie people were more naive. I think they lacked "moral weaponry." In the end, they could be intimidated with standard liberal moral weaponry -- through accusations of the usual isms -- and lost a lot of ground in this way.
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absolutely wild this topic was untouched by mainstream press until recently and that the journos brave enough to cover it were vehemently maligned. the deranged, light-sucking aura around it was one of the final straws that made me lose faith in..a whole constellation of things
Doctors, activists, and reporters alike have treated the subject of gender as an utter exception. In journalism, there has been far too much fear and far too many favours to activists, who never should have been allowed to control the narrative.
@unherd
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@77_steeze
oh they're there and yelling about "protecting trans kids," they've just migrated away from X to blue sky/instagram/FB.
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seeing more of this lately out there with 000s of likes.
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@feelsdesperate
I'll never forget that fateful day years ago when I liked a Jesse Singal tweet on my old account and a RL friend Dm'd me 45 seconds later with, "Why the FUCK are you following that transphobic monster's account? He's obsessed with children's genitals."
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speaking of which, another dystopian phrase just dropped, o no
"fearlessly nourishing"
anti-diet dietician paid to say this about general mills
“Joyous” is the new stunning and brave - see “trans joy” and Beyoncé’s new album being heralded as “joyously weird” by npr.
Basically “this sucks but you better like it”
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These types can’t stop themselves from playing constant disingenuous semantic games casting themselves as the real underdogs.
“I’m a union worker!” [media/grad school union]
“I’m in the bottom quintile of earners!” [editorial assistant for a lit press w/a masters degree]
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@purplcabbage
yes - quieting the clenched, small part of you that is worried about losing face & status helps you listen more closely to your soul's interiority, the part responsible for any genuine happiness you feel
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@ofreacharound
@77_steeze
@feelsdesperate
a little while ago, someone in my ex-community wished some violent fate on JK rowling, then they blocked ppl who even mildly disagreed. they alluded to it in subsequent post & all the other libs rushed in asking him who it was so they could block them too & "Take out the trash"
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well going back to yesterday's tweets, being overly risk-averse, closed off, and brittle are not good traits to cultivate when there are already structural forces going against male/female relations
@useful_emetic
I think this... concern about going to events alone is very female coded. No man I know, myself included, would ever hesitate to go to a cultural event on his own. Or going to a restaurant alone if he's hungry.
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@BriannaWu
in all seriousness, do you not think this was precipitated by the activists' all-encompassed shunning & bad treatment of people like jesse singal?
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@feelsdesperate
crazy question: is a PMC AGP caste advantageous for ruling class?
-deeply embedded in Blob apparatus
-realistically, hard ceiling on public-office ambitions beyond appointments/favors
-The Lie an easy test to sniff out insufficient loyalty
-bodies proof of ideological enthusiasm
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I need to be careful bc this subject upsets me so much. I don't think leftists understand how cruel they're being by saying all these ppl need is total freedom & money. if your own family member was truly sick in this way you'd see up close how that makes everything so much worse
If you don't support involuntary commitment for the severely mentally ill, then what you're actually arguing is that we should wait for them to push someone in front of a train and then just stick them in a prison cell for the rest of their lives instead of hospitalizing them
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@nonblankslate
@purplcabbage
@Thickskellyman
back in the twenty-teens i naively thought that we were on the brink of more work like wes yang's coming to the fore - nuanced, sensitive, smart discussions about race.
stupid me.
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men of my set DO try to 'match' themselves, with mixed results
i'm not saying 'go date someone stupid,' but it's clear that men who select for sweet-natured conscientiousness seem to be happier overall than the ones who prioritized intelligence/ambition
Why don’t men select for intelligence at all?
It’s a plague on humanity to procreate with dullard women.
I want answers.
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hm. I often think of takes (especially hot/half-serious ones) as individual lines wildly shooting off in different directions, occasionally bissecting each other in space. you're not really meant to come to conclusions about the entire room using just one of them.
My deliberately cunty posts are meant to annoy you enough to give you a little jolt of electricity. Ofc reality is more textured than concentrated crack shots on X. Everyone who isn’t socially retarded gets this. Derangement is a scalpel—cuts away the humourless uptight fuckwits.
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I started a job in which off-diary news was the primary content, not press releases or anything like that, my entire livelihood was based on my ability to befriend powerful, gruff, smart, wealthy men and make them tell me things that might get them fired
So does anybody ever check if the “anonymous sources” media companies get spicy info from are actually real? How would you even go about checking that? How can the companies themselves even check that?
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@RizomaSchool
my friend's 7 year old was complaining about some weird tan lines on his knees in earshot of his friend's mom.
later she took my friend aside, recounted what happened, and said, "I need to know what steps you're actively taking to make your son anti-racist."
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you are no longer Civilized unless you preface every mention of a male author with 7 different synonyms for "rapey"
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but why can't the WNBA just give better raises the way WeWork did, they were good to their workers before they ran into their troubles.
Wow so many financial experts in these comments. It’s actually not that rare for a company to not earn a profit. Should people who work at Blue Apron or Lyft not be paid?
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@feelsdesperate
In my former LGBTQ/prog community there were exactly two of us who said anything in protest, and we were shunned for it. The judicious libs saw all this and thought “not for me” & kept avoiding even private convos with us bc they were worried of committing a thought crime.
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@tommasodi_di
this is one of the things that boggles me about all this - their crusade on behalf of victims leaves a trail of actual victims in its wake that they literally can't see.
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@sivori
but isn't it better to marry the right person at 33 than to marry the wrong one at 23?
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you know, at least with the stereotypically amoral, twice-divorced alcoholic journo of decades past you knew that if he were presented a choice between these two stories he'd choose the one that wasn't a fucking PR hack story
🙏🏻 we need to go back
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@feelsdesperate
have you seen that “why I’m no longer a white nationalist” essay? Werner Herzog needs to make a movie around his sad, quixotic attempt to move to a white Midwest town and get rejected by normal people who didn’t want to listen to him talk abt the Faustian spirit of the white race
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@MogaProtz
@eiamtmet
@feelsdesperate
there are many areas that fit that description that have lovely natural sights and destinations such that it's not a a "pity" or "poverty porn" visit, i live in such a place.
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the latest doxxing was odd because my first thought was "DAMN UCI is a great program!" also, "how many people do we mutually know just from that world, probably not zero👀"
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also true that those living in close proximity w a sizable minority population end up w/ a less idealized view of them. so: "they all cheat" "soulless grade grubbing conformists" "biased toward their own kind" much more openly voiced in CA than anywhere else in the country imo
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@wesyang
I admit that I didn’t want to think this of her (as someone intimately sympathetic to immigrants) but what I saw shocked me and she shouldn’t be in congress.
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I was the one who got civilized by men. I learned to cook European cuisine, became more cultured, & broadened my intellectual interests significantly.
"My man smartened me up" is not a very current thing to say now though.
This way of thinking is so ungenerous
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had to fill for a coworker whose father passed away, diving into unfamiliar work at a moment’s notice. glad to do it, good karma.
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my parents enrolled me in a strict korean ballet after school program for little girls, and once when we got too rowdy the teacher lined us all up in a row and spanked us once each in the butt assembly-line style
I find it pretty funny & harmless to look back on now!
In my experience, the people who tend to have the biggest problems with spanking are those who weren't spanked as children, and mostly know of it through tales of child abuse.
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Tea with Ukrainian neighbors tonight. Woman's mother & grandma came to US as refugees 2022. takeaways:
Way less antagonistic toward Russia than expected. Anti-Putin but they're against overgeneralized Russia hate & have many connections there. "We pray for peace above all."
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for years in prog land I've had to bite my tongue about how much I hated Jacobin so it's a beautiful thing now to see my TL dunk the crap out of them several times a day.
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1) i do not think this will matter greatly in terms of her material success in life
2) i do think it is noxious & rank that harvard judges asians' personalities to be "unappealing" compared to others. the spiritual insult matters, too.
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this lady didn't conform to the stereotype of all the 'trad' weirdos. she was a democrat feminist, a little feral beast who chased me around our apartment topless screaming "I can't wait to feed my babies with these breasts." she wanted to have babies before her 20s were up
@sivori
my friend dated someone for 2 years who said "I'm not sure." she dumped his ass, found someone on e harmony and married in 10 months, they have 3 kids
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watching a family member repeatedly self destruct while being powerless to stop them is very frustrating and sad.
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actually. my dreams have been an odd thing my whole life. I have dreams in the third person, observing things that have nothing to do with me, and these feel different than the ones where I'm embarrassed and my teeth fall out or something. where do these dreams come from?
@LMFHistorian
@purplcabbage
when you're chasing down mysteries and questions dreams can be surprisingly helpful. I had one that made me understand two women in an office were sleeping together and absolutely NO ONE had any idea it was going on.
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reed & caraballo make regular rounds bullying legacy journalists reporting on trans-related news, too often leading cowards to self-censor. the trans stories are thus successfully distorted to better fit the imperative activist framing, & the news product rendered useless
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I know blue hairs are a type but do they have to subsume *every* other type?
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we talk about children, dogs, in laws, jobs, yarn, and steamy romance novels.
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I have an odd deformity in my corpus callousum that enables me to write backwards in cursive blindfolded. I just did it now.
@useful_emetic
Dissymmetry determinism
This is depressing, like obviously chicken or egg, but if it’s even a little preventable this is a massive public failing.
The corpus callosum is still by far the most interesting structure of the brain to me.
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there is, for example, a vigorous, male type. someone who loves to play sports and has a STEM career (my dad). is it not ok for him to exist? a really good bro?
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i have no secrets from my spouse, so yes of course he knows this account
Is it ever advisable to reveal any of your online persona and impact to your partner? I’m leaning towards no
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👀 an cluster B-AWFL i knew, a memoir essayist who expertly couched false
#metoo
accusations & other toxic behavior in therapeutic jargon, has co-founded an AI startup that seeks to put all her writer friends out of work though of course she doesn't come out & say this
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@QuetzalPhoenix
one of my friend groups who have, as you say, more normie lifestyles with 2.5 kids each - they're fine.
the other (now ex) friend group - made up of ppl with creative jobs, few attachments, and/or radical leftwing politics..no. noooo. no. it wasn't good.
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any online community trying to help troubled men is Nazi
Absolutely stunning investigation by NPR into the racist, antisemitic, misogynist roots of “porn addiction” junk science — the very stuff being peddled by antipoorn groups in order to pass age-verification bills and other censorship.
It’s all nonsense.
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too relatable. my ex-community was a place where if you weren't giving 300% to performing this shit you were suspect. they'd regularly talk about cutting people out for infractions like mildly questioning whether JK Rowling was a nazi, not realizing they were talking about me.
You can do it but it sucks. For a long time at a tech company I was able to hide out as a “normie” and no one suspected anything and I was losing my mind, constantly pretending to like things and people.
I had a rainbow sticker on my laptop.
I was in an ally group. It was rough.
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i didn't grow up in a diehard 2nd amendment family, but if this is the instruction my dad got from local police, he'd get a gun, keep the fobs in the house, and shoot the shit out of whoever broke through the front door. wtf is going on.
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the whole reason that i went anon a month ago is that there was a deranged, mentally unstable maniac that used to be part of my social group (who still is very much welcome) who i was afraid was going to start emailing my boss or something for saying very mild heterodox opinions.
@wahoolaw2006
every single one of them are terrified of being screenshotted and canceled so you can't get any thought out of them that isn't pre-approved. they are frightened to death of any real thoughts. i have tried really hard.
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@whstancil
but would this not also go the other way? my leftist friends' mutuals were cheering on violent native american reclamation of US land, keeping silent about saira rao's and bree newsome's slide into madness, and calling hamas kidnap victims misogynistic slurs.
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I am left handed. a disproportionate number of presidents are left handed, but also criminals in the general population.
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i knew an insane poet in the 00s, brilliant, always going on about turning himself into a cyborg and comparing AI to a gorgeous angel of death
could he be out there now as an anon, creating some kind of weird e/acc fascist press? it honestly warms my heart to think he might be!
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CA has unique, interesting racial politics. asians make up such an huge portion of the undergrad population at flagship state schools, it's impossible for them not to be seen as taking one side or another in a conflict like this.
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consistently one of the worst accounts on X. this vapid & lazy argumentation may have worked in 2018 but doesn't anymore when articles & video of TW competing in women's sports are constantly circulating all over social media.
The right's obsession with the "problem" of trans girls wanting to play sports -- a problem that, statistically speaking, basically doesn't exist -- is one of those things that seems to me so obviously self-discrediting that I barely know how to formulate an argument about it.
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@ofreacharound
@77_steeze
@feelsdesperate
didn't say a single offensive thing in my "bye" post. just that their cancel culture was too much for me. that was enough to let them know i'd become "compromised." the manichean battle of good v evil is very much alive in their heads and my soul had been captured by the devil.
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it is finals day!
I am required to watch the games with my husband, because I have such weird uninformed sports commentary he got entertained and can't do without it now
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lovely to see our patch of woods in the yard filling in for the first time-very welcome after the bare winter.
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@wahoolaw2006
every single one of them are terrified of being screenshotted and canceled so you can't get any thought out of them that isn't pre-approved. they are frightened to death of any real thoughts. i have tried really hard.
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@CartoonsHateHer
they have extremely high exercise needs compared to a lot of dogs - minimum of 2 hrs a day. if they don't get it, they develop all kinds of behavior problems.
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@RtrnSanity
honestly I've been flabbergasted at what I've read today. I saw someone saying "how would YOU like it if someone shaved your head for drunk driving"
lady if I put people's lives in danger by drunk driving shaving my head would be getting off light and I'd gladly submit to it
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oh yes you shouldn't do this. when you're hanging w couples- esp ones you don't know well yet-as the wife you should go out of your way to pay other wife at least 1.5x as much attention as her husband & endeavor to keep that slight imbalance up for the night to show respect
My hairdresser told me she didn’t like a woman because she came to the hairdresser’s party and went straight to talking to her husband without “bowing to the queen.” I was like, thank you for telling me that story, I didn’t know that was a thing, and now I will be sure to do it.
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"what are we going to do about all the union workers who don't believe in defund and woke stuff?" i pressed yrs ago.
"if they vote against their economic interests bc of social issues they're irredeemably racist and we would't have got their vote anyway." - BK bernie supporters.
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i'm joining more women's groups here lately (after moving in jan) but the types that make an aggressive beeline toward me are like, "oh thank GOD a non-white from NYC let's bitch about how purple this state is!!!" 😐
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@TheyLiveDC
@purplcabbage
@ofreacharound
@77_steeze
@feelsdesperate
maybe we can all start a heterodox group. "The Anon Salon"
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B░L░O░B░░P ░U░S░S░Y░░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
@useful_emetic
@purplcabbage
@ofreacharound
@77_steeze
@feelsdesperate
I think I only alienated (didn't lose entirely) one friend over the COVID-Floyd-antifa mass delusion. To be blunt, he is an unredeemable Blob pussy.
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@purplcabbage
@RtrnSanity
but also you’ve compared this person to the fat man floating around in dune and this makes me laugh and mind less whenever I see him on feed
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@HMBrough_
i just cant anymore. what does "consensual non consensual sex party" even mean, i'm too old for this shit.
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@ofreacharound
and the normie-whitening is also happening literally - via high levels of intermarriage & mixed progeny
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