novel ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈)
@upanayas
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26, writer• anime nerd• poker enjoyer• (newbie on Twitter)
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Joined October 2022
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If girls hate their periods so much, why do they have it? Just don't have it.
My girlfriend stopped having periods. She hasn't had one in seven months, so it's definitely doable.
She's getting a little big as a side effect, but that's doesn't mean there's not more to love.
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Drop your birthday month and follow each other who have the same month.
Mine: June 👀✨
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The girl I saw in the metro, traveling with her mother, was gorgeous. High-end eyebrows, rose petal lips, and eyes like a winter fire—probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I was just about to start a convo with her but stopped when she called her mother 'Ammi' 💔
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85% of homeless are men
76% of suicides are men
70% of murder victims are men
92% of deaths in the workplace are men
7% of men get custody after a divorce
97% of war deaths are men
“Feminism is weak women using their gender as a reason for being weak.”
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He received the stairs to heaven, Don't know if his leg was an issue :P
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Today, my father read a book on marriage that says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date. So after dinner tonight he is dropping her off at her parents' house.
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We Delhi men get the rakhi tied on our hands so that we can protect our sisters and harass somebody else's.
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When I urinate. Urine meets the sewers. sewers meet the sea, then sea water vaporizes to form clouds. Urine rains down on my ex-girlfriend. Yes! That bitch deserves it.
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'Urgent search for three schoolgirls aged 12, 13 and 14.'
Not a news headline, but my profile info on dating websites.
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I think the only reason Anil Kapoor was there in Hollywood is cause they visualize Indians as a guy with a mustache and horrible English. His body hair was finishing touch.
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see, if you're ugly like us, don't post a dp of your garbage face. use a painting or some cartoon character. promote art instead of ugliness.
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Hello everyone, I'm selling this account. There will be no more Bob on Twitter from now on. You can follow my alt account
@shivoham
. Feel free to DM me if you're interested in buying this ID or drop a reason why you need this account, and I might give it to you for free as well.
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"An Indian soldier is martyred while saving 3 of his mates."
Indian media : hmmm
" A Turban-dhari donates his turban to a poor mom to use it as a diaper "
Also Indian media : omfg dude!!
*puts him on the front page*
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Don't be ashamed of yourself, it's your parent's job.
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I really like Bengali women. Who doesn't like breasts that have a little bit of woman around them?
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My boss, Kamal Khan sir, recently got married again after a divorce, but he placed the same photo of her old wife on his desk on which I asked, 'sir, ye purani photo kyu laga rakhi hai?' He replied, 'kya farak padta hai bhai, burqa me chehra thodi dikh raha.'
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@dudeitsokay
On a visit to DU , my friend Deepak joined his companion Kabir to meet Kabir's girlfriend. Deepak was taken aback when the girl greeted both Kabir and him with bj, as it seemed to be a regular and normal gesture for her.
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My old and beloved Sanskrit teacher named Atif sir lost his daughter last month. I came to know about this today from one of my friends.
While trying to console my teacher, I said "just think of your daughter as another virgin in paradise for your brave soldiers now."
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fastest way to enter a woman's heart, is to stab the bittch in the chest.
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It's nice to see my cousin from 6th grade sent to IIT coaching. Pregnant females in India should start eating Physics textbooks for a bit of early preparation.
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A Muslim man who just lost his 4th wife due to cancer found killing his 3rd wife himself coz. “Teen Tigada Kam Bigada”.
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Me nowadays while scrolling Twitter:
- bekar TL
- Ye toh pehle achhe tweets karta tha
- Abe moti weight Kam kar
- is chutiye k bhi followers badh gaye
- Ye bkl insta reels kyu post kr rha (sayd blue tick ka pressure)
- mai kyu batau how many states I have travelled!
Leave.
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Stop cursing Monday morning, it's you who chose that job.
Jai shree ram. Good morning
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I'm a pure vegetarian. I consume only things made of plants.
-Tobacco
-Weed
-beer&
-Whisky
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LPG: What's the full form of my name?
Citizens: Liquefied Petroleum Gas.
BJP: Lets Play Game.
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God created a group of most beautiful women so he gave them birth in Islam to mitigate the impact.
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Women are a lot like video games.
When they get too difficult, you have to cheat.
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pushed my dadaji off the wheelchair because it was made in India not Bharat.
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"here, tie me a Rakhi so that i can protect you. also, tie you to a tree in case you ever try to find love" - Average raksha bandhan in haryana.
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Is it my imagination, or was music better when ugly people were allowed to make it?
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Jacqueline Fernandez would throw just one boob and that would be the end for entire Nath family.
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I found a badly injured eagle on our terrace today so I tried to put it out of its misery.
Took 2 fucking hours to wring its neck.
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Girls who call each other 'Cutie, not more than you cutie' etc watch Hollywood movies as dubbed in Bhojpuri.
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Stop using '😂😂' at end of your tweets. You are really funny. I know. We all know . But please stop.
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Saree is the best attire for Indian women because, you can always use it as a suicide rope, if you ever get tired of the bullshit called marriage.
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What's the only part of a Muslim to have had a wash?
The brain.
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Due to a general lack of interest and fatigue, and an unlikable environment, this handle is shutting down. Thanks for tolerating me for years. Might never come back, Shivoham 🙏
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Having checked her blocked call log, she called back just to say not to call her anymore.
someone has changed sunflower as favourite when fragrance of rose faded away. But who cares anyway?
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how Deepika speaks on women's rights so that more and more people think sharia law is a right thing to introduce to.
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When he sits in the bathtub, the water level in the toilet rises.
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Did you know why it is 'Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna award' and not 'Dhyanchand khel ratna award'?
-Because Rajiv was a person who inspired many people to be athletes. In 1984 Sikhs ran for their life but this legend inspired his men to run after, catch & kiII them.
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The only disappointment being a man for me would be I'd never know how does its feels to be as the most wonderful person. a mother.
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If you don't want your phone to get stolen from your pocket while on the train,bus stay busy with your phone. For eg:- Tweet anything, like this.
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Jesus must be the most depressed because he spent his entire life unable to get tits and nowadays fashionable women wear him between their cleavage.
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Hello everyone,
Got active for a week with zero tweet ideas, what should I do?
(Reply or you won't get a wife)
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It's 2024, hair colours and condoms are safe, but not women.
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Confession‼️
I'm a secret gay, I let my girlfriend suck her best friend's dick and then I smooch her to get some taste of a man's organs. Bitch thinks only she can cheat.
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Hi mother nature,
Can we have a selective hurricane that kills only khalistani, terrorists and a few thousand stupid Indians called politicians?
Thanks.
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Therapists are nothing but prostitutes for mental health
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*Me as An old man*
"Goes to the phone repair shop."
Repairer: NOTHING IS WRONG with this phone.
Me :Then why DON'T my children ever send me nudes.
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The world would be a better place if we removed all the guys named Shivam.
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If you sit on a three-legged dog and travel, you will reach earlier than trains in India.
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Me on Eid after hugging random Muslim women forcibly to feel their tits :
Giveaway time. 🚨🚨🚨
IMAX Oppenheimer tickets anywhere in the country. How to win?
Very simple. Watch my stand up video on YouTube (link in comments). Make any meme using any of the templates here or any other from the video. Best meme wins the giveaway!
Make sure to tag me!
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is it okay to fuck a fish every time a bengali makes you uncomfortable?
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