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@unamadremas21
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My son has desisted after 2 years saying he was a girl. He needed time and a family intervention, not hormones.
Joined January 2022
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How we could save our son.
Our sensitive, loving, vulnerable son believed he was a girl for 2,5 years.
This is what we did:
We took him off social media.
We encouraged him to do sports or physical activities so he could re connect with his body.
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We avoided talking about the theory of gender and only talked about out position (prudence) in family counselling sessions.
And then, slowly, gently and loving he started to live, to go out, to grow up.
Today he is well, relived.
His body is intact. And so is his future.
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We made our family dinners the most fun part of the day. Listening to music, making jokes, remembering when he was little, anecdotes and family stories.
We made ourselves his reference. Not culture.
We stretched our bond as much as we could.
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We reinforced his self esteem always, every hour, every day. We were generous at recognising the best in him.
We watched movies and documentaries about sects and indoctrination.
We spent time in nature and value what is natural.
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My son has desisted.
After two years of trans identification. My story is real, our path is real.
Trans identification is a way out or a refuge for vulnerable kids.
#NoToSelfID
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One year ago, my son thought he was a girl. Wouldn’t let anyone take pictures of him.
In the car, he sat behind the driver so he didn’t see his reflection in the rearview mirror.
Today he is in a drama club doing comedy, speaks in front of large groups and don’t
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We encourage him to meet with his old friends. The ones that knew him better. We turned our house into a place they could have pizza and good times.
We showed him the positive things about being a man and the different kinds of men there are.
We enjoyed his music together.
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We discussed how everybody can change their minds about an idea they truly used to believe in.
We talked about how growing up was for us, our fears and frustrations.
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We became experts in gender.
We learned, read, had long long talks about what we discovered and the impact on him.
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Cómo logramos salvar a nuestro hijo.
Nuestro niño, sensible, amoroso y vulnerable creyó que era una niña durante 2 años y medio.
Esto es lo que hicimos:
Lo sacamos de las redes sociales.
Lo animamos a hacer deporte o actividad física para que volviera a conectar con su cuerpo.
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hesitate to give his opinion, anywhere.
That’s happened after giving him time to grow up, family intervention and probably, luck.
No conversion therapy whatsoever.
No affirming and rushing into medicalisation.
I have never seeing him being “so himself” as now.
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One female psychologist
One male psycologist
One expert in Rorschach Test
One psychiatrist
One endocrinologist
One therapist
My brother
My friend
This is the list of people who thought they knew more about my son than I did. Who supported his trans ideation. All of them have
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I have the duty and the responsibility to continue sharing that our son gave up the idea of being trans after two years of absolute conviction.
I have to keep doing it:
To give hope to so many parents who live in deep anguish.
To accompany them in that darkness.
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I gave time to my son. He grew up, he desisted. He doesn’t think is a girl anymore.
I have a happier living son, not a damaged living daughter.
They lied to me. They lied to him.
Luckily we didn’t believe them.
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PD: Escribí este hilo por si alguna familia le puede ser útil, seguro hay otras formas y estrategias.
Espero que muchos padres puedan ver el regreso de sus hijos e hijas.
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Para llegar a ser una mujer nací como una niña, luego fui creciendo, me sobrepuse a los cambios en mi cuerpo como el crecimiento de mis pechos y la menstruación. No me gustó mucho, pero fui aprendiendo a vivir con eso. Me molestaban las miradas de los hombres sobre mi. Aprendí
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My son’s groomer told my kid “if you are having doubts about being trans, it’s impostor syndrome”.
That’s what parents are dealing with.
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Two years ago I was living a nightmare. My son insisted he was a girl.
I was trying hard to stay sane while at the government building a giant light blue and pink flag was raised.
It’s hard to describe the anguish of feeling minimised as a parent, the indifference we still feel.
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From a mom in Spain 🇪🇸.It’s difficult not to think in mothers from Scotland 🏴 or everywhere.
“10 months ago today family life took an unexpected turn. My daughter, who’d dropped out of school due to very serious mental health problems, left a letter headed: "Mom, I'm trans."1/7
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Siblings of a trans identified kids. The silent ones.
They become collateral damage: lose parent’s attention, lose a sibling, lose having family spare time, get depressed parents, they don’t shine.
Their suffering hasn’t been visible enough.
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Y entonces, lenta, gentil y amorosamente, comenzó a vivir, a salir, a crecer.
Hoy está bien, aliviado y tranquilo.
Su cuerpo está intacto. Así como su futuro.
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Mi hijo ha desistido.
Después de dos años de identificación trans.
Mi historia es real, nuestro recorrido es verdadero.
La identificación trans es un escape o un refugio para niños y niñas vulnerables.
Debemos parar esto.
#NoToSelfID
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Reforzamos su autoestima constantemente, a cada hora, cada día. Fuimos generosos al reconocer lo mejor de él.
Vimos películas y documentales sobre sectas y adoctrinamiento.
Pasamos tiempo en la naturaleza y valoramos lo que es natural.
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Ayer tuvimos la última sesión de terapia familiar, que fue fundamental en el camino de mi hijo que creyó ser niña durante 2,5 años.
En este que ha sido un camino angustiante, doloroso, solitario hemos conocido a gente: narcisista, juzgadora y moralista. Pero en ese mar de
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PS: The answer was not in the therapists, but in the family.
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Nos convertimos en su referente. Nos hicimos más grandes e importantes que la cultura que nos rodea.
Estrechamos nuestro vínculo tanto como pudimos.
Discutimos cómo todos podemos cambiar de opinión sobre una idea en la que solíamos creer fervientemente.
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based their opinions on their own moral agenda and rightiousness. Have discarded the knowledge of his parents. Have invited him to an experimental and permanent treatment. Have not been able to see further into their psyche. Have called us fanatics. Have written his female name
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Parents, please do not lose hope to see your kids free from feeling the opposite sex. My kid desisted after two years. The struggle was hard. As parents we felt like chess players, but it came out right. Trust your instincts, gain time as much as you can, don’t affirm, talk to
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Today my son graduated from high
school.
He is curious, funny, sensitive,healthy and a very good looking young man.
After very tough years, he could overcome his feelings of self denial that made him think he was a girl.
That’s his biggest achievement: to be happy to be himself.
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I forgot to add One groomer. He contacted my kid through Reddit. I read their chats. I couldn’t believe how fragile and influenciable my son was. We as a family are much stronger than him.
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Hicimos de nuestras cenas familiares la parte más entretenida del día. Escuchamos música, hicimos bromas recordando anécdotas e historias familiares de cuando era pequeño.
Miramos fotos antiguas de momentos felices de su infancia.
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me to continue, the endocrinologist to hormone, society to accept. Until…the book by
@AbigailShrier
came into my hands. My heart pounded as I read the testimonials of other mothers. Because I recognized myself. I recognized us. I read
@LisaLittman1
@Jose__Errasti
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Tengo el deber y la responsabilidad de seguir compartiendo que nuestro hijo renunció a la idea de ser trans después de dos años de un convencimiento absoluto.
Lo debo seguir haciendo:
Para dar esperanza a tantos padres que viven en una honda angustia.
Para acompañarlos en esa
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@marcuse99903226
@michelemooreEd
met
@Amanda_DGIR
@genspect
@pittparents
@P_ROGDK
@Transgendertrd
@stellaomalley3
@4th_WaveNow
What this knowledge gave me was CONFIDENCE I regained confidence in my motherhood, in my common sense, in my ability to observe, in recognizing myself in
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on his medical record and that is impossible to change. Have said that our pain comes from our own mourning, more than for him. Have told us we should give up our role as parents. Have given us a diagnosis and a hormones prescription at the first appointment. Have distanced
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“Pensé que al final podría convertirme en un hombre, pero en lo único que me convertí fue en una versión mutilada y maltratada de mí misma”.
Katie Lennon, quien hizo la transición a los 18 años, incluidas las hormonas, una mastectomía doble y una histerectomía completa a los
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charge. I found the thread. Tomorrow marks
#ROGDAwarenessDay
.
#ROGD
is not just the description of a phenomenon, knowing of its existence has allowed us to live life honestly again. The honesty I owe myself and my sweet, dear boy. Work in progress ...
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Hablamos sobre cómo fue crecer para nosotros, de nuestros miedos y frustraciones.
Le animamos a que se reuniera con sus viejos amigos. Los que lo conocían mejor. Convertimos nuestra casa en un lugar donde podían comer pizza y divertirse.
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I am tired. Tired to be called “fanatic” or “not being able to deal with my own grief” by affirmative therapists, bad mother, fascist, transphobic. I didn’t chose this path. I got caught in it by my kid that thinks is the opposite sex. Tired of waiting for the tide to turn.
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Le mostramos las cosas positivas de ser hombre y los diferentes tipos de hombres que existen.
Disfrutamos de su música juntos.
Evitamos hablar de la teoría de género y solo le dejamos ver nuestra posición (prudencia) en las sesiones de terapia familiar.
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What a trans identified kid feels is not extraordinary: discomfort with his/her body, role, name, etc. What is extraordinary is the affirmative “solution” for that: transition. Stop the extraordinary response for ordinary feelings
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Mi hijo puede ir deshaciendo su camino trans porque lo “puede” hacer. Porque no cambió su nombre en la escuela, porque su cuerpo no se alteró por tratamientos hormonales, porque no cambió su sexo registral, porque no escuchamos a otros, lo escuchamos a él.
#NoContabanConLasMadres
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to scream inside me. I could see a boy who didn't want to grow up, a sensitive boy who was terrified of hurting, anxious about social relationships and with practically non-existent self-esteem. Could he be all those things at the same time in a healthy way? The therapists pushed
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familiar identification with the left told me that I should move forward. That I had to recognize what my sweet boy told me. But my instinct began to tell me otherwise. This doesn't fit, it doesn't make sense to me, I can't see it. My love and deep knowledge of this child began
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capaz TU de responder por que debo hacerlo sin usar estereotipos, podemos conversar”.
Tiene toda la razón. No soy yo quien debe dar explicaciones aquí.
#RompeElGeneroNoSuCuerpo
#KidsNeedTimeNotHormones
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espacios ganados y el reconocimiento a los trabajos silenciosos. Eso es parte de ser mujer. Lo que soy no es un “sentir”. Lo que soy no se decreta. Sólo soy.
#StopLeyTrans
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Una psiquiatra de este Colegio Médico me indicó que si no daba bloqueadores de pubertad a mi hijo, se iba a suicidar. Le bastó verlo 2 veces.
Un endocrinólogo de este Colegio Médico le dió la receta de bloqueadores. Le bastó verlo 1 vez.
Un ginecólogo de este Colegio Médico
Comienza la Ceremonia de conmemoración del
#MesDelOrgullo
organizada por nuestro Depto. de
#G
éneroYSalud
#Orgullo2023
📽️ 🔴 Conéctate por
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Con mi hijo que dice ser niña, me he sentido dando explicaciones todo el tiempo: por qué no me llamas por mi nombre elegido? Por qué no me celebras? Por qué no me dejas modificar mi cuerpo?.
Mi otro hijo me ha aclarado lo siguiente: Mamá lo que debes responder es “ cuando seas
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was going to be liberating, that it was a sign of growth, that we were going to be able to talk about it and that perhaps it was related to his deep depression. That was not what I read. I read the unexpected, the nonsense: I spent years taking care of his childhood and reading
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his feelings, his needs. That girl never showed up. As a society, we were living the backlash of child sexual abuse, which taught us that children must be believed, we came back from recognizing that homosexuality should never be questioned or demonized. My progressivism and
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PRUDENCE and treating all the mental health problems derived from her bullying, when is the only logical solution that any father and mother who loves their daughter more than their own life would do”. 7/7
#NoToSelfID
#StopLeyTrans
#NoContabanConLasMadres
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No entiendo cómo se sostiene q los bloqueadores de pubertad tienen efectos reversibles, cuando a mi hijo se los recetaron junto al calcio para prevenir la osteoporosis y sugirieron congelar sus gametos por el alto riesgo de infertilidad.
A los 16 años.
Desistió un año después.
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juntos.
Hoy mi hijo es un niño que ha recobrado su curiosidad por el futuro, su autoestima, y está saludable y listo para vivir la vida que también ha empujado para que vaya creciendo.
Espero que muchos niños y niñas tengan esa posibilidad, la de ser VISTOS. Ese es su derecho.
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I need to talk about boys.
Those boys who think they are girls.
Those lost, confused, insecure, autistic, extremely sensitive, lonely, dreamy, imaginative boys who want to be invisible and at the same time protagonists, who
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Madres, por favor no pierdan la esperanza de ver a sus hijos libres de sentirse del sexo opuesto. Mi hijo desistió después de dos años. La lucha fue difícil . Como padres nos sentimos como jugando una partida de ajedrez: debíamos elegir el momento y la forma en la que hacer cada
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@gmzldk
We didn’t affirm. We only use his chosen name at family counselling sessions, in general I try to avoid his name or pronouns. We needed to gain time. Time is key. These kids need to grow up, mature, believe in themselves. We ow them time as society.
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Leo la desazón e impotencia de las madres españolas por la urgencia que el gobierno le ha dado a la Ley Trans. Una ley que intenta regularizar la autodeterminación de sexo y la confirmación del auto diagnóstico en niños/as y adolescentes. Veo como son apoyadas por feministas y
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After my son desisted, we didn’t go back to the endocrinologist that gave puberty blockers to my son, and wrote down his female name on his record, permanently.
Why would we want to see him again?
That’s part of our family trauma.
So, in the clinic files, he still trans.
There is very little evidence on the number of people who have detransitioned.
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Mi hijo que cree que es niña, tiene una baja autoestima. Extrema. Es entonces cuando aparece la posibilidad de que habita el cuerpo equivocado. Transicionar le permitiría partir de 0, ser otra persona. Pero sólo en la fantasía eso se cumple. Uno siempre será su propio refugio.
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que en los buses no era seguro sentarme en el lado de la ventana, pero tampoco en el pasillo. Aprendí que debía mirar de reojo al caminar en la calle. Aprendí a avisar a mis amigas cuando llegaba a casa y a que al ir al baño una amiga me cuidara la puerta. En la universidad
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Aprendí que mi carrera era para hombres. Cuando tuve mi primer trabajo, aprendí a decir que servir café no era parte del trato. Al tener hijos aprendí a hacer malabares entre mi profesión y cuidar de mis niños. Conocí de primera mano la “carga mental”. Ahora trato de cuidar los
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smiling again.
But from now on, with the
#Translaw
we expose ourselves to the fact that the prudence we have used to heal her discomfort, costs us an economic fine. For the moment we have been able to avoid Social Services.
Yes, a fine of up to €150,000 just for asking for 6/7
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De las cosas más difíciles que me tocó vivir mientras mi hijo se identificaba como trans, fueron las amenazas de suicidio.
De parte de los terapeutas y médicos.
No de mi hijo.
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Los terapeutas que afirman que un niño/a es del sexo contrario a la primera o segunda entrevista, no les importan sus pacientes.
Los endocrinólogos que recetan terapia hormonal a un niño/a que cree que es del sexo contrario, no les importan sus pacientes.
Los profesores que
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@Annie20950327
If I would have taken the opinions of strangers, my kid would have developed breasts, changed his voice and be sterile. Mi son can desist because he actually can do it.
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Yesterday I told a friend about my son's history of trans identification and desistence.
It amazes me that the 80% of my story was the explanation of why I didn't believe he was a girl.
That is the situation of fathers/mothers who do not affirm.
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La ideología de género no sólo me ha robado momentos del presente con mi hijo que dice que es niña. Evito su nombre llamándolo “amor”, evito los adjetivos sexuados y ya no digo “estás contento”, digo “te veo feliz”. Busco un lugar más neutro.
Pero también me roba el futuro. Ya
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Hace casi 2 años mi hijo deja una carta para mi. Una carta con dibujos y letras de colores. Una carta escrita con su letra infantil, donde el mensaje fue que en realidad era una niña. Que es trans. No pude disfrutar sus dibujos, y los colores aparecían en completa disonancia con
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know, are trans, one of them my niece.
Now, 10 months later, she is not sure about the hormones or the mastectomy. We speak to her in feminine and we use the name that lovingly we gave her at birth.
Months working on her self-esteem with her therapist, his guardian angel, she is
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angustia, también tuvimos el regalo de ser acompañados por una terapeuta generosa, que a pesar de que en un comienzo tuvo una aproximación afirmativa, con el tiempo fue capaz de realmente VER a nuestro hijo.
Esa generosidad y profesionalismo, permitió que fuéramos todos creciendo
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El otro día caí en la cuenta de la pesadilla de la que estoy saliendo, cuando una amiga de niño lo llamó por su hermoso nombre. No el elegido, no el apodo. Su maravilloso nombre que elegimos con amor para él. Estaba feliz y yo con los ojos mojados.
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Recuerdo hace pocos años en que se usaba el “todos” para hombres y mujeres.
El feminismo empujó para que se hablara de “todos y todas”, para que las mujeres apareciéramos.
Duró un par de años. Volvimos a desaparecer con el “todes”.
Vuelta a la partida.
#RompeElGeneroNoSuCuerpo
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else could I expect?Never expected her being trans. In the letter, it caught my attention that she said she discovered it recently thanks to internet...That didn't make sense to me, how can someone find out who she is through social media?
Talking calmly with her, she assured 3/7
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To tell them that it is possible to challenge those who think they know more than us.
To ask them to value their instincts.
To show that my son's feeling was not permanent or innate.
To endorse the work
@4th_WaveNow
@genspect
@stellaomalley3
@widerlenspod
@Transgendertrd
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@analuciaalvarez
El desarrollo cerebral y emocional de un niño/a depende de la edad. El cerebro termina de madurar a los 25 años.
Estudios demuestran que entre el 60-85% de los casos de disforia de g. q se presentan en la primera infancia, desisten al llegar la pubertad sin hacer nada.
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@apartmentech
We read. We became experts in gender studies. Read
@AbigailShrier
Irreversible damage, Inventing Transgender Children and Young People
@brunskellevans
@michelemooreEd
Gender Dysphoria: A Therapeutic Model for Working With Children, Adolescents and Young Adults
@marcuse99903226
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@SexMattersOrg
@Amanda_DGIR
among others.
To show that giving time to a distressed child is the most valuable gift.
So that the whole world knows of the triumph of prudence.
So even though you already know, I'll keep saying it: my son gave up.
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If your son or daughter tells you that they are trans:
-Doubt
-Be cautious
-Don't commit to anything. It is difficult because they are suffering.
-Tell him/her that you love him/her very, very much.
-Believe him/her. They aren’t is lying, they are absolutely convinced that it is
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@somenuancepls
I would give all that I have for that “dysphoria detector” , they seem to have. There’s no such a thing? Then we should use PRUDENCE.
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“I took a breath, relieved, an hour ago she had gone for a walk and I came to think that it was a suicide letter.
Years of bullying, attempting suicide, changing schools, depression, psychotic breaks, hearing voices and seeing shadows, self-harm, mental block, bulimia,...What 2/7
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to me that she had been born in the wrong body, that we had assigned her female at birth…I didn’t believe that speech.She asked for hormones and a mastectomy, that we call her with masculine name and pronouns bc her friends already did it, those friends who 8, as far as I 4/7
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I am the mother of a kid that believed he was trans for 2 years.
Because we opposed to “medically-supervised
#trans
care”, he was able to desist and have a healthy and happy future.
You are exuding ignorance for a bunch of likes.
Ever notice that the parents who are loudest in opposing medically-supervised
#trans
care for kids are never the parents of a trans kid? Funny, that.
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Una historia irreversible: Hace un año, desesperados y angustiados, escuchando una y otra vez que nuestro único camino era el de la afirmación y medicalización de nuestro niño que creía ser niña, cuando aún no sabíamos que podíamos y estaba bien decir que NO, visitamos a un
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@ElizabethGiddi1
Completely unethical. Parents are considered obstacles, and are left out. That’s triangulation. That’s moral superiority, therapists aren’t saviours.
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My brother thought he knew better.
He gave my son a book about transitioning.
He is already too late.
My son desisted of being trans, more than a year ago.
There will be a sibling, friend, teacher or therapist thinking they know better.
They don’t, it’s just moral superiority.
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Como padres de un niño con inconformidad de género, tuvimos nuestro primer encuentro con la triangulación. Vino de parte del terapeuta recomendado. En 2 entrevistas el decretó que el adolescente tenía una forma particular de transitar. Que los padres estábamos ideologizados (!) y
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@psifeminist
Los adolescentes post confinamiento retrasaron su desarrollo en aproximadamente 2 años. El aislamiento de sus pares y la cercanía forzosa con su padres los infantilizó. Internet por su parte los hiper sexualizó. Henos aquí.
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Me he emocionado hoy desde este lejano y flaquito país de Chile, leyendo las historias de tantas madres españolas de niños y niñas buscando quererse. Tan cerca en la vivencia íntima que como madres compartimos
#RompeElGeneroNoSuCuerpo
me sumo a ustedes
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le indicó congelar sus gametos, pues podría quedar estéril debido al uso de bloqueadores. Nos dijo que nuestro hijo era parte de la comunidad LGTBQ. Le bastó verlo 1 vez.
Mi hijo tenía 15 años.
A los 17, desistió.
Está mejor que nunca.
Estos son los profesionales que inciden
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Estando embarazada de mi niño cuidé mi alimentación, dejé el cigarro y el alcohol. Al nacer hicimos apego, lo estimulé, cuidé su alimentación y su entorno. ¿Acaso ahora debo renunciar a su cuidado y darle hormonas sintéticas de por vida? Creo que no.
#RompeElGeneroNoSuCuerpo
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@mikerflinn
@vrarda1
That’s exactly what happened. And it happened like that bc for most of them took even a single visit to get a diagnosis. We were astonished. It’s impossible to find out what’s behind his ideation in 1 or 2 appointments. That only means the client is invisible. That’s how it felt.
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Being the mother of a trans identified boy it’s not easy.
Sometimes it feels like we have to begin to tell our stories by apologising.
And we shouldn’t.
Our boys deserve to be seen as they are.
Please share the launch of this valuable website.
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@grahamling
I am certain he is getting the help he needs. He is much better. It has been hard for him and for us parents, because it takes a lot of insight work, but he is getting to know himself. That only happens when your starting point it’s not the answer, but the question. Glad for you
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aprovecho de agradecer a esa madre por su generosidad. Gracias infinitas.
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