I want to do 5 things so I'm doing none of them: an autobiography.

@oldenoughtosay A significant contrast to my current car which we've had for almost 10 years and put less than 50k miles on

RT @dog_rates: This is Jupiter. He is the sleeping dog that every cartoon of a sleeping dog is based on. 13/10

@UK_Daniel_Card Or criminally poor password storage

*shouting to be heard over coworkers yelling into their phones to be heard over construction and traffic* I CAN SEE WHY THEY WANT WORKERS TO RETURN TO OFFICE, THIS IS SO MUCH MORE PRODUCTIVE

@yeeeerika *gestures vaguely at everything*

RT @adhdjesse: “Oh crap, am I late?!” —me every 5 minutes when I have something important later that day, until 15 minutes before it start…

@oldenoughtosay In this case I think some of it is a translation to written form of the ages-old conversational problem where people are more focused on what they're going to say next than what is being said to them

Many of the same people who think it's wrong to use medicine to focus self-medicate to get half as chill as I am naturally

@midwestern_ope It's a pop bottle, on account of the sound the top makes. It is full of soda.

Me: Oh it's that new song I like Youtube: Uploaded 6 years ago Me: Ok, rude

As I get more into woodworking it continues to shock me how cavalierly woodworkers and the lumber industry treat endangered tree species

@AccidentalCISO Incident response is how I monetize my ADHD

@BentleyAudrey But I suppose if I was a real estate agent I would also have an eye out for people that spent insane amounts of money treating durable goods as disposable fashion items

I totally thought that was a Warhammer 40K emblem for a second

@dclange @OKWildlifeDept HEY SQUARE UP, BEAR