christian missionaries planted child pornography in the Ancient Computer of The World

RT @ryanb______:

@refriedbuttsect just blame the chinese this is a no brainer bro

RT @helen: if you’re ever feeling too old remember peter pham was 42 when he made the clutch move of ordering pizza at 1am after elon musk…

where all the dialectical shawtys?

i am currently in the process of writing maybe the 27th greatest novel of all time

@abaddonbrain does 4-7 nights a week constitute daily?

@nothiinqq the elon musk of squirrels is insane.

@refriedbuttsect not sure that’s how that works but i wouldn’t expect a man to understand

sometimes my dad used to roam the street looking for transgender prostitutes to fuck while mom and i tried to make a meal out of beans and corn starch

@histaminethug i’ve been fucking navy recruits for the past week

@juliacolander um 😐 ableist much?

i need to read jung

listening to 80s synthpop falling in love with a character i created in a story im writing ah he’ll who am i kidding i’ve been in love with her for a long time

i apologize profusely and repudiate all of my previous comments about polish contributions to society

he had a distinctly occidental way of eating my pussy. he possessed the methodical rhythm of a german, the lustful romance of a frenchman, and the boorish barbarity of an englishman.

the most attractive thing a woman can ever say to you is “i have some lands in the Orient which i think you’d be perfectly suited to work”

can’t wait for elon to introduce a feature where you can see everyone who views your tweets so i can dm them and ask them why they didn’t like my shit

@jackfromohio how is it humbling ? cause you’re able to realize you’re not the biggest sex offender in your neighborhood?

@genericbroad69 i am not. i think small bladders just run in my family cause i went bar hopping with my sister and she was the same way. i went on a date with a girl and had to pee so much she thought i was doing coke in the bathroom lmao.