Southern Dan
@StolenDans
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certified poster, dylan fanatic, amateur historian, occasional writer and producer. 🧍 writing: https://t.co/kt8b2Z8diZ alt: @legaldans
Cola
Joined November 2018
eating disorder? yeah man i'm eating dis order of french fries hahahahaha but yeah no my relationship with food is lowkey not great.
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they playing in middle earth.
Joe Namath calls plays on the sideline of a muddy football game in New York.
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Neil deGrasse Tyson critiques thumpers and sandworms in 'DUNE: PART TWO'. "You can't thump sand, if you do this to sand [slams fist] nobody else is gonna hear it. they have the worm going straight fast, no that's not how physics work they gotta curl". Source: @colbertlateshow
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there's a whole other world out there.
Ariana Grande's SNL espresso sketch was the most popular this week on TikTok, gaining over 86 million views and 9.7 million likes.
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I mean yeah that sounds pretty standard for double homicide.
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22 y/o woman: *posts thirst trap captioned "hey:)"*. 43 y/o married man with kids in the replies: "haha oh my 🙈".
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guys in 1825: wassup playa.
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biden:
President Joe Biden was seen leaving a bookstore in Nantucket with the book “The Hundred Years' War on Palestine” by Rashid Khalidi
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[guy who doesn't believe women should be allowed to vote] it's a tragedy what's happening in women's sports right now.
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elon: anyone else notice how illogical sexual intercourse is? 🤔. sunglasses pfp: sir can you invent a gun that wont set off the courthouse metal detector. elon: working on it.
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oppenheimer side character fit.
First look at Travis Kelce in ‘HAPPY GILMORE 2’. Releasing in 2025 on Netflix.
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just walked into my hotel and american dad is already playing on the tv. now that's what i call customer service!
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neil degrasse tyson listening to it's raining men, shaking his head: impossible.
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why would religious people be content with no afterlife.
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creepy? i think i know who's behind this account
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bro looks like he's gaming.
John F. Kennedy - A thread 🧵 . 1. John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier, relaxing at the Kennedy family home in Massachusetts on July 4, 1953
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has ryan reynolds ever starred in a good movie.
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I'm also open-minded about getting paid a hundred million dollars to play myself in a movie.
Robert Downey Jr reveals he is “surprisingly open-minded” to the idea of returning as Iron Man. “It’s just crazily in my DNA. Probably the most like-me character I’ve ever played, even though he’s way cooler than I am”. (Source:
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oh my god
the other day i was watching family feud and the question was "something men love doing together" and they got 4/5 that were like playing poker or drinking or whatever and they couldn't get the last one and so they reveal it and the sign flips over and it says "GAY LOVEMAKING".
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The Boss is officially a billionaire. Bruce Springsteen, who became rock ‘n’ roll’s voice of the working class, is now worth $1.1 billion, according to a “conservative” Forbes estimate.
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Has anybody gotten a better return on their hair transplant investment than Joel McHale? Saved his whole career!
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i would've committed all those crimes too tbh.
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never gets old
What video is the reason they shouldn’t ban TikTok?.
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paul: i'm not the mahdi. paul after sipping that worm juice:
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if you pull this off you should automatically become a citizen.
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Marvel boss Kevin Feige doesn't think audiences will ever tire of superhero movies, saying there are 80 years of "groundbreaking" stories told in the comics that they can adapt into different genres.
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I forgot that Walt sexually assaults Skyler within like the first ten episodes. If you hate Skyler you're probably evil.
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Jack Black turning his back on Kyle Gass. We live in unprecedented times.
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shut the fuck up derek jeter.
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the film "alien" poses a chilling question: what if you were at your job and something happened?.
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I'm gonna be honest, I don't think Vietnam was entirely your fault, Michael.
‘I’ll Admit I Blew It’: Michael Richards Talks Kramer, Vietnam, and That Racist Outburst. Interview:
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death note is so funny. no prolonged self-reflection and internal conflict, light becomes hitler instantly. lol.
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feyd-rautha: your bene gesserit tricks won't work on me. margot: *shows a little shoulder*. feyd-rautha: that said,.
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need more busted looking actors. movies were better when the actors were a little more busted.
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kinda fucked to say this about a decorated veteran of *two* world wars??
I think part of the reason i dont respect Snoopy is it feels like he’s coasting. He’s smug for no god damn reason. Hasn’t worked a day in a decade. Say what you will about Pikachu but 25 years he’s been famous and he’s still putting in WORK. Fuck does snoopy have to smirk about?.
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george, entering the apartment: well! i lost it!. jerry: lost what?. george: the mandate of heaven!. jerry: you lost the mandate of heaven?!. george: i lost the mandate of heaven!!. kramer, bursting through the door in full imperial regalia: hēi, jié ruì.
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everyone treats brendan fraser like a make-a-wish kid at disney world.
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Weathers is on screen for *three seconds* and it's a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart.
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y'all i'm in a button up shirt and jeans. it's bad. lmao.
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glad he got that off his chest.
Andrew Garfield is breaking his silence on what it’s really like to work with Martin Scorsese: “He’s just fun. He’s like a funny dude who knows a lot about movie and history and culture and people and just loves being a person."
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Sydney Sweeney is reportedly set to join me tonight for a highly anticipated dinner at Olive Garden.
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gay blink-182:.
All in, my ass.
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WHOSE MOVIE.
Elizabeth Hurley gets hot and heavy with another woman in trailer for son Damian’s movie ‘Strictly Confidential’
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tv demo at best buy -ass movie.
Say what you will about The Amazing Spider-Man 2, but it's a visually beautiful film. #SpiderMan . (via @4KSpideyShots)
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Happy 29th birthday, Jenna Maroney.
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Aquaman and the L.
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unless he puts on the best show this town has ever seen.
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cold emails really are a cheat code tho. you'd be shocked how many people reply.
moms are like: You should just email Paul Thomas Anderson.
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[20th century 007 movie]. woman: i'm ms. perky tits. bond: but of course you are. *they shag in the next scene*. [21st century 007 movie]. bond: the name's-. woman: i know who you are, mr. bond: an artifact of a forgotten war, now just dead weight. *they shag in the next scene*.
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you have to be an antebellum plantation owner level of racist to be pissed about seeing denzel washington in a movie.
Sorry what part of Gladiator 2 is “woke”? Protagonist is a straight white dude who embodies the “traditional masculinity” these guys supposedly go for. There’s like only one woman with a speaking part in the movie. Do they literally just mean because it has Denzel?
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taylor's pilot attempting to get her to the superbowl on time.
Can Taylor Swift Make It to the Super Bowl After Her Tokyo Concert?
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Expanding famous album covers using AI. 🪄. 1. Nirvana - Nevermind
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spiderman 2 is great because it's ostensibly a superhero film but it's mainly about a broke college kid with erectile dysfunction who gets zero bitches.
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Man who was almost sucked off plane among group suing Alaska and Boeing
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[beatles doc]. paul, pristine 4k interview footage: being a beatle was the opportunity of a lifetime. john, grainy archival film: it was all rubbish. george, washed out archival video tape: a bit of a drag, really. ringo, front facing phone camera video: i played the drooms ✌️😎.
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Just got fucking chills imagining peter griffin on hot ones.
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accidentally watched 30 minutes of the fellowship of the ring theatrical edition didn’t even realize it was like damn these dudes are hauling ass today.
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spider-man didn't say that.
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"we must stop the emperor. i call upon all houses to do everything they can to stop these sardaukar killers. thank you. now watch this ride."
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just learned that mark cuban became a billionaire by selling broadcast dot com to yahoo at the height of the bubble. yahoo scuttled it only a couple years later and it is now considered one of the worst acquisitions of all time.
every billionaire says the way to build wealth is to cut back on your daily starbucks intake and you look into how they made their fortune and it was by selling something called money dot com in 1999.
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gonna gross one bob dylian dollars.
‘A COMPLETE UNKNOWN’ earns $7.1M in the film’s domestic opening day. It is the biggest opening day ever for a Searchlight film.
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if you can't appreciate the miracle of witnessing a living, breathing beatle perform in the year 2023, then i don't know what to tell you.
Paul McCartney performing "Let It Be" in Mexico, 2023. His voice has sadly gone he should retire .What does everyone else think?.
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makes you appreciate how lightning-in-a-bottle the original video was.
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"wow uh yeah it's- it's hitting a little bit"
Next season of Succession Kendall goes on Hot Ones.
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what the fuck.
Ayo Edebiri asks Nikki Haley on #SNL: "I was just curious, what would you say was the main cause of the civil war, and do you think it starts with an 'S' and ends with a 'LAVERY?'"
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bro thinks he's muad'dib 😭.
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some dope: the matrix isn't a trans metaphor . characters from the matrix: hello, neo, my name is switch. these are my friends andrygene, hermaphroditus, and chaser.
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oppenheimer: i am become death.destroyer of. beastie boys, in unison: WORLDS.
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we now know how elvis would’ve looked if he was on hot ones.
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yall are so scared of aging.
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not trying to dunk here, but no, it really wasn't.
Reminder that Breaking Bad was a TV show about the U.S. healthcare system.
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a girl on a dating app refused to meet with me because i had "bad vibes." here is her name, photograph, and location.
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better call saul is all about how cool it is to watch old movies with your hot lawyer girlfriend.
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he's so cool.
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My 10 year plan is for 9 years I'm gonna get really good at robbing banks and for the tenth year I'm gonna rob a bank really good.
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The Cinesthetic is gonna O.D.
Ron Howard’s ‘EDEN’ will likely premiere at Venice Film Festival in September. Starring Sydney Sweeney, Ana de Armas and Vanessa Kirby. (Source:
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"c-can i get one t-ticket to the american society of magical n-ne- . forget it. dune 2 please.".
“The American Society of Magical Negroes” is expected to earn a little over $1 million in its opening weekend.
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This is disgusting, man.
“When I went to see ‘Killers of the Flower Moon’, I had to have my mail delivered to the theater. In the time to watch that film, you could drive to Oklahoma and solve the murders”. - Jimmy Kimmel in the opening of the #Oscars
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is he striking on a prohibition era steamboat in the louisiana bayou.
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me: i could really go for a slice of za rn. pizza hut: we got you covered . me: and i wish there was some way i could read david frum's thoughts on the trump indictments. pizza hut: you're not gonna believe this.
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pull yourself together letterboxd.
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