big tot
@tatichin
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you just like me for my tweets
neue york
Joined March 2009
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Pinned Tweet
for the next 3 weeks i'm reading for charity to help promote literacy in nyc public schools! donate to my campaign, affectionately named TAT'S TOTS *or* read with me!!!
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“Can’t wait to marry you in 836 days!!!!” — the most insufferable woman you know on her instagram story
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You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a DJ
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going to afters at a 23 year old guy’s apt as a 30 year old
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What is the condition called when a guy replies to Barstool accounts and they go unacknowledged every time
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How about just pull production for a slave thriller because it’s a slave thriller
Will Smith and Apple have announced that they'll be pulling production for new slave thriller 'Emancipation' because of Georgia's new voting laws.
Becomes the first movie to exit because of the new laws.
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I’m never doing a group trip/bachelorette with people who itemize again. Just tell me how much I owe you. I’m not doing a god damn expense report. I drank a ton of tequila here’s $500
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This is an Italian fleshlight
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slaves
How on earth did they build this without power tools or modern machinery?
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I find that people who have a lot of pets/obsessed with animals don’t have the best relationships with other people
Does anyone have any irrational opinions? They don’t need to make sense, and you might even find them ludicrous and funny yourself. Mine is that guys who incorporate brimmed hats in their regular wardrobe are very cunning and manipulative. 💀😂
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please check in on your working friends
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Bob and my aunt. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to best this pic in my lifetime but damnit I’ll try.
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When I see my friends with non-office jobs doing daytime, outdoor activities:
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guaranteed to make your day:
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I have a profound respect for people with a commitment to personal growth. It’s not easy and it’s not fun
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“People aren’t applying for restaurant jobs because they make more money on unemployment” <— and now what does that say about wages?
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An oatmeal cookie tastes so good when you don’t got a mf in ya ear telling you it’s nasty
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Cussin a MF out every once in a blue moon
What’s actually healthy despite most people thinking it’s not?
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Just made a vinaigrette that would bring Jason Sudeikis to his knees.
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being anti vax but taking semaglutide injections is objectively funny
Ozempic hitting the streets harder than crack in the 80s!!!
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Embarrassed for the people who think they’re the targets of “tax the rich”
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Someone unfollowed me on Twitter so I removed them from my Instagram followers. You don’t get to look at pics of me and not listen to me rant hahahahahaa
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Guy asked me to meet him at an oyster spot today. Don’t think I won’t. All 48.
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Recently found out my mom befriended Ari Lennox (they live in the same building) and Ari thought my mom didn’t know who she was (presumably cause she’s white) 💀💀💀
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I think I’m going to print a coffee table book of all the selfies my dad sends me
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This year was great. Did more of what I wanted to do and less of what I didn’t. Spent time with people I love. Did well at work. Remained close to my family. Made what felt like a lifetime of memories. I feel so lucky 🤍 and excited for the next (fine I’m a little wine tipsy)
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the 2 high-achieving lesbian parents at the parent teacher conference of an international school in prospect park
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chiefs losing at arrowhead on christmas to a 6-8 team with an interim HC who’s less than 2 months into the job wouldn’t not be funny
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Not cooking today (we ordered a meal). This is all y’all getting from me
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this kinda girl would beat you in beer pong then steal your man and you’d say thank you
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when ur dating an older gentleman and ask him to send u a pic it’s exactly like this
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im gonna get killed for this who came up with the notion that going to school for 10+ consecutive years makes you employable
my cousin just got his PhD and nobody will hire him because he’s overqualified so he has to move back home……..everything is fake and nothing is real
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Last night i was “marry” in a group FMK costume and without the other two I just looked like a girl on her bachelorette trip in Nashville
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Signed a lease to live alone in New York for the first time 😵💫 life comes at you fast
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You know who else made a public appearance on Easter?
Princess Kate is set to make a public appearance on Easter.
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Moving is hard. I packed two small boxes and that felt like enough so I made a brunch reservation
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It actually sits sooooo right with me
Aborting a baby because y’all really don’t like each other and you don’t want to take responsibility for your actions isn’t sitting right with me.
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$867 on Uber. $867. On Uber.
Financially, whatever happened in May can’t happen again
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Unfollowing people who follow openly racist people because I’m black and i don’t think that warrants further explanation. bye yall!
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My Uber driver got distracted looking at my boobs in the mirror and almost rear ended someone. You all are so weak
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I wish you could “thumbs down” a song on Spotify so it never appears anywhere ever again
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I only recently found out that my dad updates his WhatsApp story (is that what it’s called) quite frequently and I can’t stop laughing
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I didn’t notice this until someone pointed it out but please direct to your attention to homeboy getting CURVED
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got her whole Kentucky fried chickussy out
KFC got a new chicken coming out? 🥴🥴🥴🥴
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Today someone @ work told me their daughter was wanting to visit USC. I said “ah I went!” He said “it’s a huge party school though!” to which I replied “yea, but I’m here” 📈📈📈
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It’s Juneteenth weekend. Please act accordingly. The tab? The check? The cab fare? They’re simply not my business.
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It’s giving “those dishes better be put away by the time I get home”
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My mom asked me what I’m “doing” for the eclipse. 2:50 PM on a Monday on Wall Street, i will be working, ma’am.
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I can’t let myself pack until I’m in the 24 hour window of a trip. I thrive on that pressure
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And after I want to eat a turkey sandwich and Doritos
i need to be underneath one of these so fucking bad right now like you don’t understand
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Guy just straight up came to our table and said “can I have all your guys numbers?” (4 women)
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She may need some clip-ins, i fear
The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree is up in New York City 🎄
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Soon as I feel that sand crunch in my teeth im OUT
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A nice girl from my hometown asked if I knew of anyone subletting a 1bed in NYC for less than $1500 a month. That’s it, that’s the tweet.
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So grateful that I said I wanted to go to Brazil and these two adventure-loving freaks of nature said (w zero hesitation) they’re going w me!!!!! Not many people can say that!
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