somepeoplelikeit
@sumpeoplelikeit
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Dallas
Joined March 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Congressman Josh Ballsy's floor speech after yet another school shooting.
#ballsy
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Republicans are amazed that the kids they gleefully put through active shooter drills grew up to vote against them.
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Turns out that telling women to "shut up and breed" is bad political messaging in 2022.
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I'd rather hear someone stutter with empathy than speak clearly with malice.
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Joe Rogan: Well, that's not what I read.
Doctor: Be that as it may, Joe, I'm a doctor and I'm telling you that pee is not stored in the balls.
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If guns needed to be refrigerated, the Texas power grid would never fail.
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Herschel Walker as a senator would be a lot worse than Rev Warnock as a running back.
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Our government was almost overthrown by a group of traitors that read at a 4th grade level.
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Instead of paying Ronna McDaniel 300K a year, NBC should pay 3 journalists 100K a year to investigate people like Ronna McDaniel.
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The National Archives had to return one box to Maralago because it only contained Ted Cruz's balls.
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Kimberly Guilfoyle went from Gavin Newsome to getting dumped by Don Jr.. If that downward trajectory holds, she'll be getting ghosted by Scott Baio* by Halloween.
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The party that made it ok to run over protestors with your car want to remind you how very prolife they are.
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Pamela Moses got 6 years in prison for trying to vote, Kimberly Potter got 16 months in prison for murdering Daunte Wright.
You don't have to open a history book to study CRT, you can just open a newspaper.
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True to form for Republicans, they forced the birth of January 6th and now wanna act like it doesn't exist.
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I can't wait until MTG has to put her hoof on the Bible and testify tomorrow.
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The advantage of the $400 trump sneakers is that you can tell the insurance company that they're worth 4,000 and tell the IRS that they're worth 4.
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They're right, kids are being groomed at school...Sunday School.
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Abbott can't keep the lights on.
Reeves can't keep the water running.
Desantis can't keep teachers from quitting.
Republicans can't govern, they can only wage culture wars & hope you hate your neighbor more than you like electricity, water & education.
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The GOP wants us to forget their Russian ties and how it applies to Ukraine...but we're not gonna do that.
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I'm in Texas and my mail in ballot just got rejected because I forgot the Alamo.
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Motion to replace "getting drunk" with "getting Rudied" in the nomenclature.
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Since the ruble has fallen, now is a good time for GOP senators to book another 4th of July trip to Moscow.
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I guarantee you there is more in Ivana's coffin than there was is Capone's vault.
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RFK Jr. is like a legacy admission, without his last name he'd be yelling on a street corner with a misspelled sign.
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Trusting Rick Scott with your money is like trusting Don Jr with an 8 ball.
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The militia isn't well regulated, therefore we must do some infringing.
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Prison was sentenced to 4 months of Steve Bannon.
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Steve Bannon's cell mate is gonna need all the vaccines.
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Tucker Carlson telling Dems to "de-escalate the rhetoric" is like Darth Vader telling Luke to chill out with the heavy breathing.
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If you wanna suck at your job and never get fired, be a cop.
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So, you don't want to bake cakes for gay people, but you do want 14 year olds working in slaughterhouses. Really nice society you're trying to build.
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Breaking: Clarence Thomas has been using Harlan Crow's Netflix password for years.
Unconfirmed reports say the password is "whosagoodboy"
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Looks like one side needs to be reminded of the separation of cult and state.
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Johnny & Amber is the story we're fed, Clarence & Ginny is the story that matters.
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If your church has to start paying taxes because they preach politics, that means Jesus just flipped your table over.
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"A dude that can't even drive, trying to seize the steering wheel" is the perfect metaphor for trump's foray into politics.
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I thought if America ever fell to a cult of personality, it would be a much better personality.
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Republicans creating a fake brochure that lies to migrants so they can pawn them off on someone else, at taxpayer expense, is the closest they've come to an immigration plan.
And they're super proud of it.
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A Russian gas executive just got suicide committed on him.
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The Secret Service deleted texts because they didn't want to get caught cheating on America.
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Call the police on every old white woman attempting to use a public restroom in Kansas.
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I can't imagine the confusion and fear ancient civilizations felt when they saw an eclipse.
It must have been similar to modern Republicans looking at a science book.
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They want to arm teachers because that would sell more guns. No other reason. That's all they care about, SELLING MORE GUNS.
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The GOP abandoned Cawthorn like he was a fetus that just got delivered.
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If the Left acted like the Right:
Congressman Josh Ballsy introduces the "Don't say Jesus" bill.
#chinos
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You can't purchase fetus insurance, but a church can purchase sexual assault insurance.
The math has been done for you.
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Beavis Trump thinks his dad could've stopped the invasion with a call to Putin, but he couldn't even rig the election with a call to Georgia.
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The Texas GOP platform caters to those voters nostalgic for Salem in the 1690s.
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Barbed wire on the border doesn't make Texas better, but removing the ramps to the governor's mansion would.
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I've gone from trump derangement syndrome to trump arraignment fever 🔥
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I strive to be as cool as Judge Jackson at a senate hearing, but sometimes my Ted Cruz at an airport comes out.
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We have to tolerate mass shootings because a few mediocre white men fantasize about saving the world from tyranny.
Plot twist: You are the tyranny.
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If church sounds more like a political rally, should they start giving Uncle Sam a cut?
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Conservatives: Fuck Big Bird!
Media: The Democrats have a messaging problem.
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Lindsey Graham said he should be allowed to fuck around and be immune to finding out...a judge disagreed.
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The Texas Taliban doesn't recognize you as a full citizen unless you have a gun and a dick.
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There are now 8 billion people in the world!
And Kari Lake governs none of them 🤣
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Piers Morgan joining Fox News is a breath of fresh air to those that like their racism and lies with an accent every now and then.
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To best understand Republicans, you have to realize that Jesus is just the team mascot, he's not the coach.
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Whoa there, pregnancy test. You just tell us yes or no and we'll decide if it's positive or negative.
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Now that Breyer is retiring we can focus on the next seat that needs to be vacated, the one held by Ginni Thomas.
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In Texas we don't have groundhog day, but if Ted Cruz's dog Snowflake appears in the glass door looking pissed, your electricity is gonna go out.
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Imagine pulling out a fake badge *during a debate* and STILL not being the biggest fraud Republicans trotted out this election cycle.
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trump's burner would make Hunter's laptop look like Capone's vault.
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Americans: It's crazy Russian propaganda has its citizens thinking they are fighting Nazis in Ukraine 😳
Also Americans: January 6th was legitimate political discourse & the election was stolen 😠
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We should replace Robert E. Lee with a statue of the virus, since they like to remember wars they lost.
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Some men woke up today ecstatic that their daughters have less rights than they did yesterday. These are the same men that cry about their "freedom" when asked to do the simplest tasks to help their own family and community. Cowards.
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trump suing CNN is like a criminal suing the security footage.
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You would think MAGA would be more into Halloween considering they spend the whole year pretending to be Christians.
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Sean Hannity on air: The election was stolen!!
Sean Hannity off air: Stop saying the election was stolen!!
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Herschel Walker: But if the egg came first, there'd be no chicken to sit on it and keep it warm. Think about it.
His wife: Please go to sleep.
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Joe Manchin is the kind of guy that orders 2 mediums for the office pizza party.
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Tucker is calling the shooter "mentally ill," for acting on THE EXACT SAME BELIEFS Tucker and the GQP shamelessly push on a daily basis.
He's literally saying "if you listen to me, you're insane."
And he's right.
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Florida schools are now practicing "active reader drills" to protect students from catching a stray education.
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Trump HQ:
"Who can we get to run our social media company?"
"What about that dude that got owned by a fake cow on social media?"
"Fuck. Yes."
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The person sleeping next to you is statistically more likely to murder you than any other person on the entire planet. Do the dishes.
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"2000 Mules" was ok, but not as realistic as "I just need 11,780 votes."
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If only there was a sign that the narcissist that launders money for the Russian mob, cheated on his taxes, cheated on his wives, cheated every contractor he did business with, stole from a kids cancer charity, ran a fake university, wouldn't rent to black people, mocked disabled
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Maybe if Disney tried to overthrow the government, Fox News would stop talking about them.
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Honestly, shooting people so you can go take a pic with a Bible & pretend you're the good guy is peak white dude behavior.
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trump supporters can't see the forest for the treason.
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If only there was a way to take a critical look at the disparities in sentencing like this 🤔
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The main difference between Ultra MAGA and Nuclear MAGA is the length of the prison sentence.
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Tim Scott wants the nomination of a party whose constituents would call the police on him if he were in their neighborhood.
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MTG: Democrats eat babies. I've seen them.
Leslie Stahl: Wow. Okay.
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GOP: Attempted a coup, openly planning another coup, flagrantly rigging election laws and suppressing votes, bans books, kills their own base with misinformation and has nazis.
Media: Will "wokeness" hurt Dems in 2022?? 😬
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You can lead a man to horse paste, but you can't make him think.
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Desantis is trying to get to the White House by just saying a noun, a verb and "woke!"...because Republicans have zero good ideas.
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Turns out trump was right, he said the nuclear document hoax was just like the Russia hoax. Spot on.
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Got to give it to Lindsey Graham, he came to the hearing today totally prepared to talk about Judge...*checks notes* Kavanaugh.
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When I saw "44% of Republicans" trending I thought it was something like "think Jesus wrote the Constitution"...but no, it's way worse.
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Guys, if trump was really Putin's bitch he would have used a campaign manager beholden to Russian oligarchs that worked for Putin's Ukrainian stooge & he would have changed the RNC platform regarding Ukraine assistance & Putin would've punked him in Helsinki. Woulda been obvious.
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I thought Stephen Miller's "family plan" was to separate children from their mothers at the border.
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The party that shoots Bud Light cans and burns Barbie dolls wants you to know you're a snowflake & if you try that cancel culture bs in a small town they will say "fuck your feelings" to your face...unless you're wearing a rainbow t-shirt because that shit is terrifying.
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If you were swinging from Putin's nuts before, don't try to chase Zelenskyy's coattails now.
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