hshtag tahani time
@subtlydaslutty1
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Following
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Statuses
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this is where I muse about hooking up with boys, like all your gay statuses, and comment on thirsty pictures I don’t want my coworkers to see 💁🏻♂️
New York, NY
Joined April 2018
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Pinned Tweet
hi I am not your friend trying to spook you; just a stranger who thinks you’re funny/cute/hot/silly/smart. pay no attention to the gay behind the tweets! 🙅🏻♂️
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@callmedgoodz
I love them cutting to Kelsey’s reactions because how else could they indicate to the audience that it’s “bad” and “off putting” when the product is so iconic.
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@yaesohn
I’m the drunk NPC who seems sad about her husband leaving her and will point you towards the secret back room in this bar that—due to localization—is called “CAFÉ☕️”
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REMINDER: if someone you slept w/ notifies you that they got an STI so you might want to get tested, they are being adult and showing you courtesy and respect and, while you may not owe them anything beyond “Thank you” and the same in return if the roles were reversed— 1/2
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@ecareyo
Good for you. Catapults are a fantastic technology for yeeting shit over the castle walls, and more people should know about it.
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if you believe the scriptures, the Lorde will return in three days time
🚨 Lorde has just postponed her show at the Mohegan Sun Arena that was supposed to happen tomorrow (April 15th) due to laryngitis 😕
— Wishing Lorde a speed recovery so she can be back on stage as soon (and as healthy) as possible ☀️
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—you can go above and beyond by realizing that THEY are in a vulnerable position by bringing this news to you. Honoring that vulnerability by extending a little grace, humanity, sympathy, humor, or understanding can go a long long way. That is all. 2/2
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Elizabeth Warren got my old millennial ass answering every spam phone call like
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@gay_pnw
“sometimes the one person HOLDING YOU BACK.... is the one person you need.... 💞✨to move 🌈forward....💘”
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@e_alexjung
1. This CANNOT be real
2. Straight people...
3. If this is real, I am fascinated that is is written with SUCH detail that, even if some of it is “anonymized,” all the characters in the story would recognize themselves. I almost wonder if that is the author’s intention.
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@highluronicacid
@justlikeapollo
“Let’s watch all the fights you were a part of!” VH1 owes her a $20,000 check.
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me, a bottom: [eats eggs for dinner, actually d**ches, showers, applies deodorant carefully for a fwb who likes pits, puts on a cute outfit, goes to meet at bar]
fwb, a top: “Actually, I’m pretty beat and haven’t showered yet. Let’s do a rain check. You in town this week?”
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Just canceled a d**k appt to attend the NYC Warren rally because big structural change > 🍆
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@marciax3nyc
aka “story boards told us this queen would stick around longer, but not if we have a 🤲🏻she doesn’t 🤲🏻know the 🤲🏻words moment for the edit.”
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Reminder: people who catch a virus—whether that’s mpx or covid or hiv or gonorrhea—did not “make a mistake.” We are all people trying to live our lives and we all make risk calculations every time we step out the door.
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@grlpwrguy
@jakewhomst
😳 hi stranger I saw you posted a similar take on tiktok and I might gently suggest that how you choose to manage your own body and who you fuck is much less important than interrogating a gay culture that only promotes a VERY narrow definition of fuckability ok bye now
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@dointhemoest
You’re 100% allowed to hook up; he’s allowed to feel hurt by it and have it ding his excitement about your date; he’s even allowed to say “mm no thanks” because of it. But, it seems like he’s trying to make you feel guilty or he wants you to apologize and that’s a lil 🤨 to me.
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@jpbrammer
I was once so angry about this I sent a cranky email to one of these “brain game” companies. Their response 😐
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@lydia_meredith
No idols for five weeks, then every idol for two weeks, then all the idols disintegrate into dust and everyone’s bag of rice goes into the fire.
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@gaygetarlton
Wild. And yes, findable on playbill with a single search. 2-3 days per week for three months!!? Includes allegedly 20% of;
- Assisting with general office duties & running errands.
- Conducting research and aiding in general administrative tasks.
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@annehelen
This is not a joke: Jojo Siwa. Ridiculously over-marketed product line, giant merch empire, reality tv kid transfigured into tiktok teen, she’s been hinting at maybe being lgbtq on tik tok and “officially” (reading between the lines?) just “came out” without actually saying it.🤯
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A couple I had a memorable threesome with got married today. Mazel tov boys! Thanks for the spitroast. 🤪🥰
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being a gay person with a phone is so fun and odd; like, having simultaneous conversations about the politics of open relationships while congratulating a friend on their new sex vid, and then getting a notification that says “That’s right, boy, make time for your Daddy. 🐷🐻😈”
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Rode an out of towner’s dick twice and then explained to him who Sondheim is — I am DOING the LORD’s WORK
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@HeidiNCloset
Sorry the experience was such a mess; you are so much fun to watch, thanks for bringing your art and performance so hard to our tvs 💜🧡🩷
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@jpbrammer
Yes, so true of this and other “freelance-y” professions, diverse voices are so important and underrepresented but the class privilege necessary to break in and stay afloat through it all is... really limiting. Ugh.
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when a corner of your brain is h*rny but your body and soul are too exhausted
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@e_alexjung
Yes! I found myself thinking how, in an imagined world where she was compensated fairly+generously, some of it could read so differently (she’s an expert and we appreciate her help!) instead of knowing what we now know. 😶
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@mrsamherbst
I have tweeted this before and I will tweet it again! I will never forget nor forgive SC for editing out footage of them KISSING which you can HEAR happening just out of frame. My poor adolescent porn watching self was so hungry to see that affection 😭😭😂
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People sharing their MPX infection stories and timelines are here to help us all as we review and spend our own risk budgets. It is a selfless act. They are not doing it to invite shame, criticism, or second-guessing. Stop it.
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me, joking with my booster shot nurse: “did it all go in?”
nurse: “yeah, since you don’t have big muscles I didn’t have to use the long needle.”
🥺
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@mascbaby
Think of the cumulative joy these three men have brought to generations of queers! Warms my dang heart/loins
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oh god I accidentally joined the Instagram Live of a boy who t*pped me once and then I felt too embarrassed so I stayed in it for a minute and it was just me and one other girl and an off-screen voice said "who's connected?" and he said "It's Lauren! And another guy." 😐
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Scruff is a fun game where I woof at nearby gays and then they’re appear in my “Viewers” tab 15min later and then nothing happens ☺️
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What do we do for gay people who like socializing but hate crowds?
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I just helped my neighbor cum so I’m feeling like an amazing christian
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@TeamYouTube
@gaywonk
@YouTube
You’re kidding me: he can spew hate from his channel but selling a hateful T-SHIRT is what violates the tos? No. Please do better
@YouTube
@TeamYouTube
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me in sweats replying “fill me up dad” to a friend’s gym pic
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I’m so drunk maybe the drunkest I’ve been since quarantine and I have a crush on so many of you
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If I 🔥 your Instagram story that means I would eat your ass and if you ❤️it that means you would let me
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I keep thinking, sure whatever good for Tyl*r Oakl*y, but it makes me so sad that there is exactly ONE body that we are all supposed to aspire to 😮💨
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scheduling s*x several days in advance because I’m what? in my 30s
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you get drunk and open grindr I get drunk and DM contestants from the great British bake off we are not the same
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@ira
Please counter with a deep dive on Christine’s closet I would read TF out of that monetized slideshow
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@NickPrato
Self-facing camera, turn your phone upside down and between your legs when sitting. Forced perspective means you’ll look huge ;) then you just rotate the picture 180degrees so it’s right side up and then send it to my DMs please ☺️
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Time for my quarterly STD testing! Always a little nervewracking but glad to be doing this regularly. ✌🏻😣
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A beautiful Argentinian man just rubbed my feet for half an hour and then bred me three times. This! Is the energy I want to be bringing into 2023!
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you on twitter: tee hee {pubes pic, jockstrap pic}
you irl: ȋ̇̈m̑̇̈ ̑̇̈s̑̇̈h̑̇̈y̑̇̈
me on twitter: {won’t show face or body}
me irl: ʜɪ ɪᴍ ᴀ ʜᴜɢᴇ ʜᴏ
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I just f**gered a boy till he came while he charged my phone what a gift
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Just got naked with a daddy and got a load and some cuddles. Well done me
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I just want to say that while this is objectively hilarious my heart truly breaks for the people who are trying to make this work right now— live video from multiple places is really hard and expensive to get right. We still love you
@broadwaycom
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Guess who *doesn’t* have chlamydia or gonorrhea ?
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I love math. I hate the fucking math memes and PEMDAS pedantry. I have never ever seen a fucking ÷ symbol in any grown-up math problem and I am so sick of this shit going viral every six months! Math is about using logical rules to solve fun problems, not ambiguous "gotcha" eqs.
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shot so far at
@NYJacks
I had to apologize to a few guys. they were gracious about being in the splash zone
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a boy I thirst follow mentioned ONE TIME being in a thr**ple and now I’m constantly on the lookout for clues to the who what where when why and how
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this is maybe tmi even for this twitter but is anyone else into (or is there a name for) like, intimacy play when hooking up? like, when you have a one night stand where you stare into each other’s eyes and say the L word as you fool around? 🤭 or am I just an emotional terrorist
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Just a reminder that I OCASSIONALLY t*p and am OK at it
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today I tried to discretely take my prep at a work event while standing next to a Handsome Gay Stranger and instead I dropped it and it skittered across the floor and I went “whoop!!!!” and chased after it like a cartoon character
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there is no social media platform where two boyfriends sharing an account is sane
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late night twitter: I just took two d**ks and my knees are weak
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sometimes I wish my bf liked more queer things but then, like tonight, I get to explain the whole 🍒🥧 drag race drama from start to finish and I realize I’m more glad for a bf who will listen to me talk
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I know the world is wide but I have never seen a couple sharing a social media account and thought “yknow what, that seems really healthy!”
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I am happy to embrace nifty as a punchline but you guys I was literally there earlier today jerking off. The interface is vintage but horny folks be posting new stories every week!!!
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Twitter is for every gay who silently glowered at all their straight middle-school classmates thinking “you have no idea how much smarter, more interesting, and more powerful I am than you” but then we just channel that energy into dick jokes
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Am I above riding a Columbia sophomore in his dorm bed it turns out No I Am Not 🤡
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boy coming out of stall: “you know what? you are a tall white Hot man. And the glasses, you give me Daphne—no! VELMA. Velma vibes.”
me, drying my hands: “oh! Thank you!”
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One of my married friends told me they’ve had a third in their relationship for a few years, and now that I know, every picture they post with the three of them I’m like
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I once jerked off with a boy in the bathroom of Therapy and I would be sad if it closed forever.
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the first oomf who I ever shared pics with told me this and somehow I twisted it into a criticism and it’s haunted me for years! anyways welcome to my brain
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A cute man bought me a drink and then was upset that I wasn’t single which is strange because other than my emotional unavailability I am SO EASY
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twitter removed the crop so that I could post this
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umm tops are fun and all but bottoms make the world go round
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Sorry to brag but just gotta share: I had a really good s*xt today you guys 😭 my best fwb learned how to use handsfree mode when filming dirty vids and it was a SHOW🤩🥰
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How do I ask a one night hookup who I’m Facebook friends with “hey do you wanna have sex one more time before you move to LA?”
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tonight I had a dear fwb pound a load into me, eat me out, and then pound in another. merry christmas!
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