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Russell Profile
Russell

@RussellFalcon

Followers
4,887
Following
1,041
Media
9,636
Statuses
52,905

Writer. Reporter. Receding hairline’d lover of horror movies 🏳️‍🌈 (He/Him)

Philadelphia, PA
Joined February 2011
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
7 months
This how you walk on the sand so you don’t alert the worms
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
Have you thanked the Lord today that Glee was cancelled before we had to hear Kurt Hummel sing Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts”?
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
Me during a home invasion when the burglar tells me he hasn’t seen the trailer for A Star is Born
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
A woman would never win an Oscar for delivering a similar performance as Joaquin in JOKER. Unlikable but complex female roles are never rewarded. Tell me one thing Phoenix does in JOKER that Rosamund Pike didn’t do in Gone Girl
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
8 years
BRAVO's The Real Housewives of Nazi-Occupied Russian Territory Formerly Known as America *twirls* "If he's not Aryan, we're not marryin'!"
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
The audience at the first ventriloquism show in history
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
May we all bring the energy of this absolute queen into the election year
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
Person from Colorado: hi I’m from Colorado My brain - Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Me: So who do you think killed Jonbenét
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
2 years
The “3” in 2023 is a reference to M3GAN
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
8 years
I saw more people at the mall when MAC released the new Selena lipsticks
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
White Republican women are Republicans first, white second and women maybe third
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
7 years
Never forget the exact moment Nicole Kidman decided — at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party — she was DONE with Tom Cruise's bullshit
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
3 years
Not true. @britneyspears was also 18.
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@ABC
ABC News
3 years
BREAKING: Oliver Daemen, 18, becomes the youngest person ever to fly to space. #BlueOrigin
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
4 years
“Yes, I killed Samantha.”
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
Harry Potter and the
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
4 years
DON’T MAKE ME VOTE ALONE
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 months
No offense but how does Dr. Dillamond write on the chalkboard
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
1 year
Jack Schlossberg’s anti-restaurant tirade is the exact deranged himbo social cause JFK’s grandson should be doing. “My friends don’t like eating dinner. Most people in the world don’t spend their lives eating dinner.” Icon
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
1 year
So many of Hollywood’s problems would be solved by simply making new and interesting $20-$40M thrillers for adults
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
Not one single horror movie contains this level of tension-building
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
The Marvel Cinematic Universe has never made a dramatic scene this compelling
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
1) THEY DID THE MONSTER MASH 2) IT WAS A GRAVEYARD SMASH 3) IT CAUGHT IN A FLASH
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
8 years
*Housewife twirl* "*dolphin noises*!"
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
4 years
Never forget the time Nickelodeon allowed Michelle Trachtenberg to murder someone on film
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
Real Housewives of Dallas is the greatest drama currently on television
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
4 years
This is my aunt who didn’t believe in wearing masks. Today we buried her
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
8 years
*Housewives twirl* "I may die old and alone but at least I'm white!" *takes swig of wine and cries in the mirror*
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
Guy Ritchie is proof you can be married to Madonna for 8 years and come out not knowing how to direct a musical performance
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
Margot Robbie could give her all as Harley Quinn in Birds of Prey — just absolutely shred her body and emotions in devotion to the role — and she would not be nominated for an Oscar
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
2 years
@Spilling_The_T This could be shown as promotion for homophobia
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
9 months
Kristen Stewart in Spencer should be a reference point for future actors portraying well-known people on how to embody without imitating
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
8 years
*Housewife twirl* "I didn't say what I'm saying right now! Wait, who said that?!"
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
3 years
“Do you think Erika knew?” - me interviewing Olympian who just won Gold
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
Are you: • All out of faith • Cold and shamed • Lying naked on the floor Do you find that: • There's nothin' where it used to lie • Conversation has run dry • Nothing's fine Talk to your doctor about IMBRUGLIA™️
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
2 years
This is the best gay romcom no matter what anyone says
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
8 years
*national tragedy happens* Mark Wahlberg showing up at the studio the next day with a complete screenplay starring him:
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
2 years
The corporations are already at it.
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
2 years
@_TEB2_ I’m not defending the series but exactly zero things about it are different than any other true crime series. Genuinely curious why this single show seems to be the problem and not the genre as a whole
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
2 years
@roundteef JCPenney back to school sale was never the same
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
7 months
Finneas and Billie creating music
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
Sex and the City 2: Carrie: .......Aidan, what are you doing here at this exact market at this exact time in Abu Dhabi Aidan, whose entire plotline in season 4 was that he didn’t want to leave the house: I’M HERE LOOKING FOR FURNITURE
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
4 years
Marianne Williamson interviewing James Cameron about AVATAR is camp
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
“OKAY, we are on our way to Camp Crystal Lake to meet Jason. Apparently he has been wearing the same worn jacket and pants for years, sits in stagnant water instead of showering and GET THIS, wears a mask so he doesn’t have to do any facial care.”
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
In all of cinema history there will NEVER be a cast as iconic as Robert Downey Jr as Iron Man Chris Hemsworth as Thor Chris Evans as Captain America Scarlett Johansson as Black Panther Mark Ruffalo as Hulk
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
Gillian Flynn 👸🏻 |\👐🏻 / \_ ━━━━━┓ \\ ┓┓┓┓┓┃William Shakespeare ┓┓┓┓┓┃ ヽ🤡ノ ┓┓┓┓┓┃   / ┓┓┓┓┓┃ ノ)
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
If the rural town of Woodsboro had been more supportive of Billy Loomis and Stu Macher’s burgeoning homosexual love, Scream would’ve never happened
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
3 years
I hope she’s ok
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
2 years
@mattxiv I slapped a boy in front of his girlfriend for the same thing in high school. He never talked to or about me again.
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
1 year
@MichaelMatteoRo
Michael Matteo Rossi
1 year
Greatest phone call scene? 📞 I'll start and it's easy:
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
10 months
For those saying Saltburn isn’t a gay movie, just know its central premise — I either want to be him or be with him and if I can’t do those, I have to destroy him — is a singularly gay experience
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
3 years
The way Miranda ended Carrie in this scene 💀
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
7 years
Michael Jackson almost burned alive on the set of a Pepsi commercial and today that became the second worst moment in Pepsi history
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
What would your ‘thank u, next’ music video references be?
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
One of the things I’ve never really connected with Gay Twitter about is how some gays use it as a way of replicating high school dynamics they were most likely excluded from in actual high school. Can’t relate! I was popular, so I don’t have to be bitch on here!
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
10 months
“But you see: ONLY ONE of your guests drank the Panera Bread lemonade!”
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
2 years
Me ranking the SCREAM killers to a complete stranger at a club at 2 am
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
Uma Thurman gave EVERYTHING to her role as a DC character....where was HER Oscar nomination???
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
The Oscars became trash when they completely ignored the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Hong Kong trip
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
Gay culture is handing the mechanic your rose gold iPhone so he can talk to your dad
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
3 months
@IraqiCowboy @sydneyjanexo Mother might be a 365 party girl
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
1 year
@charli_xcx Such Team Rocket energy
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
👏🏽 I 👏🏽 *SAID* 👏🏽 OSCAR 👏🏽 WINNER 👏🏽 LADY 👏🏽GAGA
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
Straight men who spit on the sidewalk: ⚫️ WHY? ⚫️ WHAT was different about that spit that you couldn’t swallow it, despite how you’re swallowing all your other spit? ⚫️ Why? ⚫️ WHO do you think you are that you think we want to see you spitting and/or to walk through it
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
Teacher on first day of school: “Let’s all go around and say three interesting facts about ourselves” Me:
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
3 years
This is every episode of House Hunters
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
@KaitMarieox You want to be a victim so bad! Happy birthday, sweaty. Wishing you a whole year of finding less humiliating ways of getting attention xoxo
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
Me 4 weeks into isolation when I’m forced to cut my own hair
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
2 years
Cate Blanchett is 100% the prestige actress who would be the most fun to hang out with
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
3 years
Because I’m a journalist, I’ve created the most detailed rendering of Erika Jayne’s version of events surround Tom’s car crash over a cliff. The truth is out there somewhere #RHOBH
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
This is how Dorit walked into the shelter to return Lucy Lucy Apple Juice
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
Lisa Rinna screaming “Dance like your fucking life depends on it” while Shannon Beador and Gizelle Bryant dance on the table beside her while Kyle Richards laughs and records it 🤯🤯🤯
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
1 year
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
Kelly Dodd being introduced to another Housewife’s husband and then MINUTES later talking shit about him to his wife and claiming she had no idea who he was is a Real Housewives Hall of Fame moment
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
Glee was honestly a plague thrust upon the Earth
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
7 years
Just a reminder that @KenyaMoore has been telling us Phaedra is a liar for at least five years #RHOA
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
1 year
Aside from the fact that long dinners at restaurants is my one true hobby and passion in life, I respect this king’s right to dine in
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
3 years
The scariest scene in Halloween Kills is when Tom’s house was broken into and he confronted Michael Myers and then had to go have eye surgery. And then my son had to go over and help. And then my son, he rolled his car fives times on the way home
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
8 years
Obamacare vs the American Health Care Act
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
The gay students at Hogwarts the night Dumbledore died
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
Pennywise: hi Gay kid:
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
1 year
@kenzvanunu Loved The Batman’s minimalist noir logo
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
This is Infinity War for gays
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
I love Chris Hemsworth. I think he’s a really interesting actor.
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
1 year
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
8 years
My favorite part of this has been a Tr*mpet defending these people by saying that I have a receding hairline LOL ANND?? 🐬
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
3 years
I hate to admit I feel Dorinda’s absence this RHONY season. She was a level of chaos that’s missing
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
There’s only one PERFECT series finale.
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
2 years
@mvddm Azealia Banks deciding to chime in on major female rap drama while shopping at Home Depot
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
Me performing drunk as part of the cast of RENT:
@CountVonCount
Count von Count
5 years
Two thousand three hundred eighty four!
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
8 years
"Hi, i'm a rescued dog. I'm here to tell you about how you can save talented 90s female musicians..."
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 months
The Brady Bunch Movie VHS was the highest grossing movie in my room my whole childhood
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
3 months
Regret to inform Austin Butler is quickly skyrocketing to the top of the White Boys ™️ charts
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
Nothing will ever be as rude as this drawing
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
2 years
RIP Queen ❤️❤️
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
“This is crazy how all of this witchcraft is happening while Lauren's gone."
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
2 years
@TooManyBens @drunkgrindr The world isn’t ready for Matthew Morrison as Jason Sudeikis
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 months
You ever think about Sydney Lucas’ performance of “Ring of Keys” at the 2015 Tony Awards and start crying
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
3 years
Me every time Bravo gives us an explosive RHOBH trailer and then a boring season
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
5 years
I feel like this is supposed to feel sweeping and grand and wide open and yet it feels like they filmed it inside a Masonic lodge?
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@RussellFalcon
Russell
6 years
FACT: every velociraptor in the Jurassic Park CU is gay ✔️ Travel/hunt in packs at night ✔️ Pathologically smarter than the other dinosaurs ✔️ Ruthless ✔️ Gay Voice screeches ✔️ Stunt queens ✔️ Are first seen on screen causing drama in a kitchen
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