nastya🧺
@strawbrryeclair
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17🌷💬🗝️not a recov account anymore, priv : @strwbrry_spring
she/her
Joined July 2023
@lees3olvr + got my parents to taste test every drink/food they gave me from 11-13yrs bc i irrationally thought they poisoned it for NO reason + if they refused that would mean they did🤔refused to eat supermarket foods or school food too bc i thought the world was out to poison me. weirdd.
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hard (/ harsh) ed truths that you need to hear in recovery/if you’re considering recovery (or even if you just have an eating disorder) - a thread from experience🧵
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@lees3olvr from 11-13yrs, whenever my friend came over to a sleepover i got her to hide all of the knives in the house and not tell me where she put them in case i sleepwalked (ive never sleepwalked before) and somehow ‘went crazy/lost control’ & used them to harm someone in my sleep?😭😭.
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they deserve someone who has enough energy to speak or make time with them, who’s not miserable and fatigued 24/7, a partner that isn’t slowly killing themselves.
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this or that food poll : foods i ate before my ed !. (was looking through old photos so decided to make this). 🏷️: foodtwt recoverytwt recovtwt edtwt food poll food freedom
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1. your perception of reality. being on edtwt is being is the absolute MINORITY of the population who share your disorder that has the symptom of ‘irrational beliefs/irrational behaviours relating to eating’. you are not talking to 99.9% of people in real life, but the few 0.01%.
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@fa1rycal you’re 23 making fun of a teenager for being expressive abt her fears around food?? i don’t get it. she’s not doing anything wrong.
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should you post your wieiad or not: a guide for recoverytwt !. disclaimer: i dont intend to police what you can or can’t post, but if you want to be mindful of triggering people (especially since we’re on recoverytwt), you might want to keep it in mind
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wieiad, anorexia recovery extreme hunger edition (hit nearer towards the evening) AND DAY 28 IN RECOVERY !! 4 WEEKS WOW
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decided to do a wieiad anorexia recovery bc i take pictures of what i eat anyway so here🙈 . WIEIAD: anorexia recovery day 3, a thread 🧵
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your feed being filled w it gives the illusion many people think this. they don’t. and if you want to make a full recovery, i’d suggest getting off a space where you’ll keep seeing people fuel your illusions.
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that encourage looking ill. to the general public, no one agrees with our niche, because their brains are not malnourished/function in the ‘average’ way. so what edtwt does is makes you believe that their beliefs eg ‘bmi __’ isn’t skinny enough!’ are actually widespread because.
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2. as much as people may treat you kinder, they likely feel disdain towards you. dont get me wrong, im sure you’ll get sympathy from people, but that sympathy is mixed in with frustration, disgust and ultimately, the idea that you’re a selfish person. maybe the idea of being.
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wieiad, anorexia recovery day 17!🍓- forced weight restoration . (had sm strawberries today unpictured)
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@sealcatraeyne @nikotyny @Van1llaBless1ng @impossiblykloe @sllymeows @illstayhj @Eve_278 just wanted to add: the ‘best ana’ medal is made of mud. it’s a medal of how much control u can lose over ur own life and how much u let ur ed win; no one respects it. but recovery is the ultimate medal bc it takes serious mental resistance, and gives you the best prize of life🌹.
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how social media , especially twitter, is demolishing your chances of ever entering recovery - a thread 🌐🪽💌
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recovery + edtwt, this may be harsh but i think it’s so true & useful to hear tbh. when u think of yourself, don’t do so in such a rigid way; stop defining yourself by the things that you’ve previously struggled with and direct ur focus on who you can become presently
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@222allure this is so… weird😭she’s talked abt having an ed multiple times, this is rly strange and violating to make.
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‘but my friends will be disappointed if i gain’ i promise no meaningful connection of yours will be affected by your increased energy, the glow in your eyes and the ability to talk about things other than food.
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course of my ed. people WONT like you better for being skinnier, they like you for your company. and i’ll be real, no matter their concern, no one wants to spend time with miserable people. sorry to say it, but people will prob move past you rather than wait for u to feel better.
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3. you’ll be seen as weak, + ur social life is difficult to repair. ‘weak’, not just in the sense of fragile or frail. weak as in pathetic and embarrassing. this all comes off as harsh but im just repeating what people have told me abt myself in my ed - and now, it.
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seen like this will make you want to self-deprecate even more, or be upset abt how misunderstood you are : but unfortunately, that doesn’t do much use, either. deep in my ed, i cried to my roommate abt it & how upset i was. her words after trying to help me over multiple months?.
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recoverytwt what’s a stereotypical ed food that you still like in recovery (as an addition to a balanced diet ofc)? 💭.
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WIEIAD recovery day 16 - challenging a LOT of fear foods !!💭🍐💌hopefully this helps someone
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‘so it’s hopeless. there’s literally nothing we can do’. i noticed that, despite how much she cared for me and was upset for me, there was anger in there. multiple times she began to call me weak and viewed me in this way - which upset me and again gave me more reason to.
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@brookee_brookee yes unfortunately, ive heard that this happens to quite a few people actually:(.
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recoverytwt is it normal to physically feel very full and bloated after meals, but still really hungry and unsatisfied? is that extreme hunger or am i just binging.
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quick thread - identity in ed recov💬. a significant reason why many struggle esp in ed recovery is because eds build this particular personality image: mine was this ‘dainty, delicate, perfect doll’ persona which i felt i had to live up to and i adhered to in the following ways-
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wieiad, anorexia recovery day 17 ! . today went pretty well intake-wise i think , or at least better than before 💭
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‘pet’ that tagged along sometimes. i wasn’t like that before i relapsed. before i relapsed, i was beginning to gain more confidence than i ever could’ve got from losing weight - i led most of my friendships and had the ability to maintain them. i lost so many bonds over the.
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4. now more abt the ‘selfish’ part. that’s not to say your loved ones don’t care - esp for ur family. but they begin to view you as a self-centred person, get frustrated with you. i think we forget how closely linked every person on earth is, and as much as we don’t like to think.
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loathe myself, but made me realise i should stop victimising and start at least trying to help myself. more about the ‘weak’ part:.
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wieiad, recovery day 21 ( THREE WEEKS🎉🥳!!) on a meal plan + weight restoration . andd challenging 3 fear foods out of my jar :)
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so, your ed does affect people. your family/friends will suffer bc of it. i’ve made my mum cry multiple times, same with friends. sometimes, difficult as it may be you’ve got to make sacrifice yourself and prioritise others to motivate you in recovery! remember your identity is.
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how life feels knowing i have unconditional permission to eat ^3^ 🏹💌🍨🔑⛰️🍀
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honestly?? i feel like those ‘de romanticising eds w/ physical side effects’ aren’t useful for a lot of people bc for them it feels validating to experience/ an ‘indicator’ of their sickness - i know that’s how i saw it. the main thing that motivates me instead are brutal truths.
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wieiad, anorexia recovery day 24?? (again difficult to keep track😭)
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will take me a while to reform people’s image of me to help them remember me as how i was before becoming a wallflower. you think it’ll make you.confident ? it makes you meek and awkward, non-confrontational and insecure. in my friendships, i began being treated like the.
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formed by everyone around you who loves and cares for you; you are a beautiful creature sculpted by other people (through genetics and environment) because everyone influences each other. fulfil the potential that others have granted you, the dreams they have instilled in you-.
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@angelicfemme444 oh my god this. every single week my weight is the CENTRE of my treatment. ‘oh once u reach this weight u can actually socialise w ur friends instead of being supervised for snacks’ ‘once u reach this weight u can go back to school’ ‘once u reach this weight we’ll discharge you’.
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@dontgetmad692 @giornocals so?? using a child online as motivation/‘inspo’ for a mental disorder and posting this onto a forum where people with that disorder can use them as competition is straight up bizarre.
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edtwt , recoverytwt ,anyone want a tag? just a quick one, uploading in like an hour 🎶
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5. recovery isn’t easy! you will want to relapse at first. our eds are hardwired into our brain, of course they’re going to convince you they’re the only way to live ! an analogy i often use is to think of them as a separate entity with their own will, or a parasite - and an.
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recoverytwt mutuals u r literally the strongest people i know💭💌🧺 i luv u and keep going
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analogy i use to help myself when i feel like relapsing is that the human body forgets the pain of pregnancy so it can reproduce again, like an ed makes you forget how horrible it is to make you run back to it. it’s lying to you ! also, you will have to come to terms with weight.
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recovery twt & ed twt, i made this thread a while ago and will post, does anyone want tagging?💓also might make a pt2 after this
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today wasn’t great so no wieiad but here’s my dinner yoghurt bowl💌w/ best barebells protein bar (caramel choco), müller strawb rice pudding, berries, coconut flakes, 4 banana slices and tsp hazelnut spread
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recoverytwt or edtwt, wondering if anyone else experiences this is one of the causes of your ed? obv this isn’t the only cause of it but:
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if you’re thinking it makes you seem more confident, happy, impressive, ‘perfect’ or disciplined, your ed is lying to you just as it does to everyone. 6. lastly, there will never be a right time, ever. you will never feel fully ready to recover, you just have to feel the fear &.
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gain. that weight gain is weight that saves your life, that goes to your organs, muscles (eg your heart which shrinks during ed), to repair bodily cycles first and foremost. it wont feel this difficult forever🤍i reccomend a therapist bc it can be rly hard to recover alone.
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dreams other than losing weight. every person and experience has set you up with the skills you need to flourish in life - use them to your advantage, not your downfall! & also, influence comes from ur behalf as well ! for me what helped is to recognise just how much my presence.
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actually makes an impact on the world (and i guarantee you urs does even if you don’t think so), and so made me focus on being the best version of myself i could be, so that, for instance, my bad mood or irritability deep in my ed didn’t have a ripple effect on other people.
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how sad do u have to be to point out the stomach of someone who’s trying to make a point abt better body image . doesn’t matter if ur edtwt or not atp that’s just cruel, twisted and unfeeling.
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recovery means being able to speak with your family without counting down the minutes till you’re next allowed to eat, slowly getting back the trust of people you love where you’d once lost it, taking agency over yourself and your life again rather than being controlled by an ed.
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@m0doka @roll3rbrawl i hope you never speak again until u take some long self introspection time. genuinely, what could’ve driven u to post this.
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w/ irrational thoughts (if u have access to one). to go over some past points, people often dont take you seriously anymore. the disciplined person you thought they perceived you as is actually just seen as ‘taking the easy route’, or ‘being stupid’. i know that’s a hard pill.
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wow i’ve been in recovery for a month and a day now. yayy i guess
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do it anyway, knowing that future you will thank yourself. trust me that i do, because if i kept going further, my heart would probably fail and i’d be retaking the most important school years of my life. you don’t realise how much it takes away until you’re past it.
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@xyzcalz literally + they’re acting as if half of the things in the 2nd slide eg clear skin, glossy hair etc r achieved through starving… like girly trust me ur glass skin will be the first thing to go when you deprive yourself of nutrients😭!!.
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wieiad, anorexia recovery day 27 - rly making an effort and honouring my extreme hunger after falling back into restriction a bit 💭.feel lowk scared posting rhis bc it’s more than my usual but it’s okay, this is what i need
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idk who needs to hear this but recovery litch makes u 2000x hotter. i remember moping over how everyone stopped complimenting while i was deteriorating during my ed & wondering why but now i look soo fine + have had more compliments in the past couple days than i have in MONTHSS.
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silly as it sounds, any time i think abt relapse, theres an aspect of missing my misery. an ed is like protection from life- i didn’t have to partake in it, could stop trying + just mope/rot my responsibilities away. it attracts me because it’s comfortable and easy.i wont though.
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to swallow; i didn’t want to hear that ppl in my life thought i was illogical either😭and i agree it’s unfair of them to think when they have such a limited understanding of eds, but dont shoot the messenger (me) bc this is unfortunately how a lot of ppl view those with eds;.
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@m0doka ‘s-sorry guys🥺’ stfu with your pathetic bull LMAO you think you have such an effect on people but you’re just embarrassing yourself on the internet, if u rly care take it down.
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wieiad, anorexia recov day 11 - the day before clinic weigh in😵💫
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recovery twt how do i escape orthorexia😭 im trying to recover from ana but my brain physically wont let me recover from ortho. i literally cry abt eating anything i deem ‘unhealthy’ & only eat protein to make sure i gain ‘good weight’ bc i feel like some foods r more fattening.
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recovery twt if i made a priv would u follow ? bc i want to be able to post abt more personal stuff without it interfering with recov content on here (i’ll still post abt my ed sometimes but it’s more my personal life) and i wanna use it as an outlet ^3^.
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GUYS GUYS GUYS LOOK WHAT IVE ORDERED FOR TOMORROWWWW IM SO EXCITED
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‘i cant lose the body i worked so hard for’ okay but did YOU work for it or conversely, did your ed drag you to it? it’s easier to follow the disorder than oppose it. what’s your own will? because recovery is your OWN hard work carried out on your behalf, not the ed’s💭.
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@angelicfemme444 i get ur thinking but unfortunately by that point, even if it’s not immediate death, a lot of people suddenly die of cardiac arrest even after they’ve already gained weight because their body hasn’t recovered from a low bmi and the complications were permanent - also the people.
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@lightasfairies these types of posts are written by clear trolls/losers 😭such a pathetic attempt to try and make you feel bad abt yourself, there will always be people like that - pls ignore them !!.
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@shushuverse j i get ur frustration and i got it w my parents too, forced recov is rly tough🥲but your mum is looking out for you, and she’s right in that if she can’t feed you, hospitalisation (where they can make sure they do) is the next best thing than u being at risk.
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recoverytwt could anyone help? ive been in recovery almost three weeks now but (TW WEIGHT TALK - NO NUMBERS) i’ve lost/maintained and im supposed to be gaining: i have my weigh in tomorrow. is this hyper metabolism or am i not eating enough??.
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not posting wieiads recently (i might for my birthday tmrw:)) but here’s tonight’s dinner !! chicken stir fry , and challenged noodles which i haven’t had for a while. had some more than what was shown ! rly delicious
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recoverytwt do u think it’s reasonable for me to be upset that my mum keeps getting upset at me bc i’m ‘not eating enough’ when i’ve just had a perfectly good meal (below)? had more salad than shown here too. we keep arguing so bad abt my intake but she doesn’t realise i’m trying
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the further into recov i go the more i genuinely just can’t see myself when i was deep in ana as me😭i was soo weak both mentally and physically. i looked weedy & that didn’t make me ‘feminine, dainty and elegant’ like i thought it did; more leaning to gawky 12yr old lool.
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ed recov is one of the most admirable and impressive things for me to see. i really respect people who are able to pull themselves out of it and keep going despite setbacks bc i know from experience how incredibly difficult that is.
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recoverytwt - for anyone who’s lost their menstrual cycle and got it back, how long did it take for it to return ? bc that’s one of my main focuses for recov rn as it’s seeming that i’m lowk infertile rn and i want kids in the future.
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@FelixKillsCals for me the minute my friends found out i had an ed they told me it’s selfish and i’ve affected them even though i always try to hide it from them and they haven’t changed their eating habits since finding out. like ik they r trying to convince me to recover but it upset me sm.
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why is it the minute someone knows abt my ed , they begin discussing their weight and food in front of me. ? i’ve noticed my roommate always mentions to my other one ‘wasn’t that food today SOOO good’ as if she’s taunting me?? she never did that before she knew.
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!!!! this. because while i’d say for myself i had many fear foods at both my lw and cw, now i feel more scared about eating them because i’m at a slightly higher weight and i feel too afraid to gain more since im no longer in the high-risk/ danger zone category.
When i was still uw i didn’t have that many fearfoods because i was like “i can whatever i want because i have to gain weight anyway” & now i’m at a nw and i have alot more fearfoods i hate how nobody talks about that because rationally ik i still deserve to eat everything i want.
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