the current whiplash between bsd anime watchers only who are currently going “CHUUYA IS ALIVE” and manga readers who are currently going “DAZAI IS ALIVE” is just surreal
random mafia guy, on the phone: we have him
chuuya: who?
random mafia guy: we have your partner—dazai osamu
chuuya: oh
random mafia guy: “oh”?
chuuya: yeah, you don’t have him. he has you. good luck *hangs up*
i’m sorry but fyodor being around since the late 15th century only to have beef with a bunch of 22 year olds and ultimately getting defeated by the power of soulmatism, contact lenses and fake fangs is HYSTERICAL
something about fyodor being able to predict dazai but not chuuya, of him being ultimately defeated because he overlooked chuuya, because he considered chuuya a pawn in either his or dazai’s games and not as another player or an equal (as dazai usually does)
the flavour of skk in the “grumpy and sunshine” trope, where the ada sees bright and loud dazai + a more serious chuuya while the mafia sees chuuya as the outgoing, likeable one + dazai as this eldritch, terrifying being—so no one’s sure on who’s the sunshine or the grumpy one
*previously on bungou stray dogs*
dazai: i know
chuuya: he knows
fyodor: i know that he knows
dazai: he doesn’t know that i know that he knows
fyodor: he doesn’t know that i know that he knows i know
chuuya: do they know that we know?
sigma: WHAT’S GOING ON???
when you remember how big dazai and chuuya’s range is, that some skk fics on ao3 are tagged “strangers to friends to partners to lovers to stangers again to enemies to friends to lovers”, like
i’m sorry but if chuuya wasn’t a vampire the entire time and that was the noise he VOLUNTARILY chose to make as a “vampire grunt”, did NO ONE show him a vampire movie in ALL THESE YEARS???
chuuya: so i’ve noticed how we’ve slowly begun to remove the “b” out of this “bromance”
dazai: *confessed within a day of meeting chuuya, wanted chuuya as his dog for life, made two gay ass speeches to chuuya in one day, shoved chuuya’s face onto his crotch*
dazai: “slowly”?
fifteen: *tug of war between sheep and dazai over chuuya*
stormbringer: *tug of war between adam and verlaine over chuuya*
currently in bsd: *tug of war between fyodor and dazai over chuuya*
someone free him
we don’t talk nearly enough about manga dazai’s reaction to chuuya pulling on his hair and dragging him closer in the dungeon reunion scene being him giving chuuya a little pout
remember when dazai cupped chuuya’s cheek so gently after corruption had already been nullified and both of them smiled at each other with shining eyes while floating in the air and then suddenly they’re on the ground and dazai is shoving chuuya’s face onto his crotch, like
the way dazai went “there were some moments where our hearts reached out to each other, like that time-“ but MULTIPLE flashbacks started popping in his mind, the way dazai can’t just decide on one moment alone when practically every interaction they’ve had was meaningful to him
dazai really fell hard and fast—like, in fifteen he goes "that's what makes me love you", tells chuuya he "can't think around him", tries to get chuuya to be his dog for life and throws a tamper tantrum when he's assigned to kouyou instead. boy had it bad from day one
thinking about chuuya being so used to dazai’s flirting ways that he never recognises that dazai’s not mocking or pranking him, he’s seriously trying his best to flirt to him all this time
what if next week’s episode being called twilight farewell just means chuuya snaps out of vampirism and, out of options to deal with fyodor’s plans, resorts to using corruption even if dazai can’t nullify him. what if twilight farewell means the farewell of double black
dazai’s relationships (that aren’t platonic) are so funny, on one hand we have multiple women he’s left crying and on the other hand we have his partner of 7 years (who technically was only his partner for 3 years) to whom he confessed on day 1 of said partnership
skk au where they’ve been secretly dating for years but people only find out because one day they accidentally switch accessories and dazai goes to work at the ada wearing chuuya’s choker while chuuya shows up at a port mafia meeting wearing dazai’s bolo tie
i swear to god if it turns out that fyodor was the one responsible for creating abilities and has been basically trying to undo it ever since, that would actually explain a lot about his motives
bsd au where everything is the same but arahabaki frequently talks to chuuya in his head but never about anything relevant to the plot—meaning he only provides "compelling commentary" on how stupid and useless the people surrounding his vessel are
skk au where dazai miscalculated the timing and the bomb he placed on chuuya's car blows up when chuuya's still inside. for years dazai thinks his plan succeeded, until their reunion. because even though he taunted him, chuuya didn't seem to hear him. at all.
bsd au where everything’s the same but there’s no major conflict and dazai somehow still gets arrested—so while the ada are working on plausible ways to get him out he is frequently visited by chuuya, who can’t stop laughing every time he sees dazai in the prison interview room
skk au where people working at the port mafia keep trying to sneakily take pictures of their crush (chuuya) while he’s out and not noticing but when they go check the photos, without fail, there’s this guy wearing bandages staring straight at the camera with an unsettling smile
chuuya: i think i like dazai?
kouyou and verlaine, unsurprised:
chuuya: i mean romantically
kouyou, unimpressed: is that so?
verlaine: my deepest condolences
chuuya:
dazai absolutely came from a wealthy background because no 14 year old would subject himself to wearing suits everyday throughout puberty unless they were rich
so if dazai’s legs are both broken and he needs to leave the prison before the poison kicks in does that mean my boy’s gonna get princess carried to victory? that would be very babygirl of him, i’m just saying
oda: are you in love with chuuya?
dazai, sweating: ……no
ango: then why do you draw ‘D+C’ in hearts everywhere?
dazai: it stands for despair and contempt
dazai: i’m upset
chuuya: why, what happened?
dazai: none of your business
chuuya:
chuuya: ok, fine, fuck you, stay upset, hope your day gets worse
the other port mafia executives at the meeting:
skk au where everything’s the same but chuuya inherited rimbaud’s taste for corsets instead of his hat and dazai has to physically resist covering him up every time they go on a mission because that’s HIS partner people won’t stop staring at
the fact that skk are regarded as “the underground’s most vicious duo” when their first instinct to any minor inconvenience is to bullshit their way through it is hilarious yet peak iconic behaviour
skk au where, instead of your soulmate's name, their ability name is written on your body—chuuya wonders if it's bitterness or relief he feels when he sees "no longer human" on his skin, while dazai dreads and longs for the moment he meets the wielder of "for the tainted sorrow"
skk soulmate au where you have your soulmate’s name written on your wrist but said name may change depending on the choices you make in life. cue dazai osamu slowly losing his mind because no matter the bad choices he makes, the name on his wrist is still nakahara chuuya
remember that one “interview” where dazai mentioned that whenever he can’t sleep in the summer he’d just “stare at the ceiling while thinking about ways to bother chuuya”? he is NEVER beating the fell first AND harder allegations
imagine skk in the middle of their first mission after becoming partners and even though dazai’s plans succeed, it still turns into a mess & they’re both running away, jumping into a car and chuuya yells at dazai to drive but he’s panicking because he’s 15 and doesn’t know how
dazai freaking out in wan when chuuya goes “off script” when it comes to their bickering makes me genuinely curious as to what would’ve happened if chuuya had decided to fuck with him during their dungeon reunion and acted completely different than what dazai expected
so basically: fyodor’s ability grants him the power to commit “the crime”—kill someone by touching them—as well as to apply “the punishment” if he is the one being killed—by taking over their bodies and coming back to life
fifteen!dazai: how do i tell this person i’m fascinated with that i want him to stay by my side for the rest of our lives and be loyal to me alone?
fifteen!dazai: . . .
fifteen!dazai, to chuuya: “be my dog for life”
dazai: chuuya, i made a poem for you
chuuya: *prays for patience*
dazai: he’s beauty, he’s grace~
chuuya: *blushes*
dazai: he’ll never reach my face~
chuuya:
ok but dazai giving chuuya an orange rose because they mean passionate/fascinating and oblivious chuuya thinking he only gave it to him because it's the same colour as his hair
after fifteen anime robbed us of dazai watching chuuya fight for the first time in awe, stormbringer better not rob us of dazai jaw dropping over chuuya using corruption for the first time when it gets animated
dazai going “that’s what makes me love you!” to chuuya not even a full day after meeting him, full of sparkles like a shoujo love interest only to be blatantly rejected is peak iconic behaviour, let’s be real
skk au where they go grocery shopping and dazai tries to look cool while simultaneously annoying chuuya by sitting inside the cart, only he gets stuck there and is too embarrassed to tell chuuya so now he has to keep making up excuses for why he ISN’T leaving the cart
skk au where dazai tries to propose to chuuya by sneaking a wedding ring inside his pack of cigarettes, only the ring drops to the very bottom of the pack and now dazai has to wait for chuuya to smoke a considerable amount of cigarettes before he even notices it
thinking about dazai’s reaction when chuuya first started wearing his choker. like, whether he gave chuuya the choker himself or not, i’m SURE he commented on it as SOON as he saw it
thinking about teenagers skk adjusting to their new partnership, coming back from an exhausting mission and chuuya just drops his head on dazai’s shoulder—dazai is immediately tense, wondering if it’s a joke, but chuuya just falls asleep there as though there’s no place safer
skk au where dazai suddenly shows up to work during his port mafia days wearing something other than a suit and people keep doing a double take—chuuya most of all—every time they see him because “who the hell is this guy”
chuuya: i fucking hate dazai
kouyou: watch your language, kyouka is here with us
chuuya: right
chuuya: i fucking hate—
chuuya: *covers kyouka’s ears*
chuuya: dazai
skk au where everything’s the same but every time dazai and chuuya have a “moment” careless whisper by george michael starts playing in the background and every other character notices except skk themselves
skk au where dazai secretly keeps in contact with chuuya after defecting from the mafia because he just realised he won’t be able to take shady shortcuts in life anymore and if he has to learn how to file taxes then he might as well annoy chuuya in the process
as much as i want skk to reunite peacefully i REFUSE to believe fyodor would send chuuya after dazai without a backup plan and given that dazai seems to have both of his legs broken, WHAT IF fyodor’s planning to have chuuya unleash corruption so he can off both at once
bsd au where everything’s the same but dazai uses arm warmers instead of bandages because he wasn’t able to afford them for too long with his detective salary, and every day of week has a different, ridiculous pattern on them: his favourites are the cow printed ones
shoutout to fifteen year old dazai who went through all stages of grief once he found out chuuya became kouyou’s subordinate and not his. that guy suffered through both heartbreak and gay panic at the same time, what a legend
if i had a nickel for every time chuuya ends up saving yokohama despite being part of the mafia, i’d have at least three nickels by now—which doesn’t seem like a lot, but it's weird that it keeps happening
chuuya: you make me so angry so quickly, it’s remarkable
dazai, at home, on the other side of the phone: i’m not even there
chuuya: yet here i am, boiling with hate
kouyou: how have you been, lad?
chuuya: well, all things considered. got this headache that comes and goes, though
dazai: chUUyA~
chuuya: it’s back again
kouyou: oh
kouyou: it appears to be contagious as well
dazai: i don’t get why people are intimidated by chuuya. i mean look at him, he’s just a tiny slug!
chuuya: *casually wiping out blood from his face after destroying a giant dragon*
dazai: a small dog, a little fairy! just what’s so intimidating about him, honestly-
we don't talk nearly enough about mori implying that if dazai let chuuya and himself die in the end of stormbringer it would mean they'd be committing a double suicide and dazai's response literally being "wow"