tv is just not what it used to be. Or am I crazy?

A story of love, loss, and redemption ❤️

Breaking from my main style to talk about something important

Two roads diverged in the woods I took the one less travelled Biggest mistake of my life

Selling out to the Crowdwork clips game b/c my family is starving

ARE YOU KIDDING

A really good anti smoking ad would be to remake the scene from broke back mountain when the gay cowboy says ��I can’t quit you!” but when the camera pans over he’s talking to a giant cigarette wearing a cowboy hat

When that list drops my ass is covered Keep 👏your 👏receipts 👏

@WinslowDumaine They are all like this!!

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. And you only got 4 years of parole for it 😌

Umm yeah, I had a pretty good night last night

Millennial comma “Sorry this is all I can give today”

Do other veggies look at cucumber and be like “Cool as him? I’m way cooler than that asshole.” ya know? Like carrots and squash and stuff? Do you think that ever happens? (in the veggieverse)

the rat race sounds really cute and fun

RT @JackBensinger: kept my mouth shut on this for a while. These are not scissors

Story about the local pizza joint in our town growing up

RT @tommybayertime: nah just messin around

Stumbled onto this old photo from when I did online dating. I was such a different person back then

@new_toler Sorry man I’m just really mad at you for a bunch of other stuff. The joke is actually 🔥