Lauren Carpenter
@stepmomlauren
Followers
13K
Following
24K
Media
2K
Statuses
13K
Wife, Stepmom, fantasy football @FSWA #SFB12 - Creator/Seller of fun stuff
Florida
Joined July 2011
If Jalen Ramsey goes to the Patriots, I quit football.
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🚨🔥🚨🔥 I am VERY excited to announce that I have been officially accepted as a writer for @rotoworld! . I will still be writing for @TheFFBallers and @FantasyPros as well - stoked to start the new season! . Let’s GOOOOO!!!!!.
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My superstar team of Michael Thomas, Kenny Golladay, Chris Godwin, and Josh Jacobs is 0-5. Lovely.
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Heaven gained an angel today. A stubborn, highly intelligent, headstrong, take no prisoners type of angel. Mom - Don’t give God and the angels too much of a hangover and say hello to Mo and Poppy for us. Love you always. ❤️
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If anyone has the NFL Network, you’ll see a familiar face on Tuesday’s episode of NFL Fantasy Live 😉.
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I am very excited to announce that I will be contributing to the @Football_Guys this year! I have long admired their work as well as all that they stand for in the industry. I am honored to be a part of the team!.
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I was recently told that I “need to start looking hot” during my live start/sit on Fridays and not “like I just rolled out of bed”. Also, this person said I should “show some cleavage” since that sells and makes me look better. Here’s what I think - 🖕to them.
10 yrs ago Jason Whitlock tried to discredit my career attacking my gender & appearance. When I saw him do it again to @MariaTaylor& @katienolan this week I decided to speak up.
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I somehow ended up with Michael Thomas, Chris Godwin, and Kenny Golladay in a redraft team. 👀 ✅.
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We had a good run, my little man. Just a month shy of your 18th birthday. I will aways miss you. Rest In Peace, Chewy. 💔
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Random thought: I am seriously considering making a football Sunday cookbook for appetizers, main courses, and desserts. What should I call it?.
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Well, I tried, but I cannot watch ESPN when Steven A. Smith is on. Just can’t do it.
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Also. “attempt at flirtation” is an interesting phrase. I hope your apology to your wife and children was better than that. You should look into getting some help.
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My WRs in one league. Michael Thomas, Golladay, Godwin, Juju, and Diontae Johnson. 🤬💩🤦🏻♀️ ALL HURT.
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I am having a great day. Lost the job that I love, stepped in dog shit, got rained on, and shattered my slow cooker lid on the floor thanks to the garbage disposal and condensation. BUT - tomorrow is a new day. When one door closes, another one opens. Here’s to new beginnings 🥂.
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I officially decided that fantasy football is stupid. I am mad right now. Really, really mad. #Iamsorryforbadadvice.
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I started the wrong quarterback on TNF. This is why you should always trust your gut. I was having second thoughts about starting Minshew without Chark. Should have listened to myself.
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Week 17 is coming to a close. Just wanted to give a huge THANK YOU to everyone who followed my work this year! You guys and gals are the true fantasy winners ❤️ I wouldn’t be doing this if it weren’t for you and it’s a pleasure getting to know you all!.
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Very VERY excited! Can’t wait!.
After sifting through 561 submissions… WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!! . I want to welcome @stepmomlauren to the @MayoMediaNet family. I’ll be unveiling the rest of the new team for NFL season soon. Some other submissions were also great, so keep an eye on your email, may pick another.
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Some yahoo popped into my Live feed and said I shouldn’t talk about football because I’m a girl. I had no idea those people still existed! It’s like spotting Sasquatch!.
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Well, I am officially mad at Cam Newton and Jamies Winston. and Mike Williams. How about you guys? Who you mad at?.
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Controversial? Maaaaaaaaybe. but I apologize for nothing! .
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Day drinking is totally acceptable during quarantine. right?
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I am incredibly excited to announce that I am now officially a part of the @FTNNetwork team! Let’s go, 2022!
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I am out of the playoffs and watching football with zero stress. It feels. very nice. Liberating, even. Is this how it used to feel?
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Going to go 0-3 in my league with Jacobs, Michael Thomas, Kenny Golladay, and Chris Godwin. Even my kicker just got hurt. 🤦🏻♀️😫.
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Good vibes are appreciated this morning - my husband is having surgery to repair a torn bicep 💪🙏😬.
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Imagine when they both have multiple top 10 weeks as RB2s and you drafted them in the 3rd Rd or even later. oh, I Can!.
Imagine. Drafting Le’Veon Bell or David Johnson. I can’t.
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I have been mentioned in so many tweets that it’s hard to keep up. I just want to say that it’s an honor to just be thought of, let alone mentioned. This industry is amazing because of all of you. I wish the rest of the world knew this love ❤️.
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I’m putting this on social media to hold myself accountable. I am making some pretty serious lifestyle changes for a healthier me. It’s a big overhaul and one I have been putting off. No more. It’s time. Wish me luck 😬.
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Solid truth here - well said, Kyle!.
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I can’t believe I have to say this, but another hour of a live show and I dealt with several disgusting and just plain wrong comments. Do better.
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Please don’t be this guy 👇.
@TKingMode @TheFantasyFive @FFHitman @jasonffl @stepmomlauren @FF_LeapOfFaith You've got sexuality issues. I just go by the rankings over the last ten years which I posted. When any of your "amazing women" finish ahead of the people on the list be sure and let me know. : ) LOL!.
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Aaaaand here is the question. Thielen or Diggs? I attempt to figure it out .
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Warning: personal tweet. It’s been a rough week. I am honored to be a stepmom because of my step parents I have in my life. Please send a prayer for my loving stepdad who just lost his father.
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Will 2020 be the year that Doug Pederson uses one featured back? 🤔 I explore What To Expect From Miles Sanders in 2020 👇🧐 @TheFFBallers .
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I read a comment today that my husband must be giving me my fantasy football advice .
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Guys and gals. I’m planting my flag on Donte Moncrief and making him my @TheFFBallers “My Guy” - diving a wee bit deep, buuuuuuut oh well.
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#SFB9 My Draft Update: (if anyone cares. If not, please disregard - I just want to look cool). 1. M Gordon.2. M Thomas .3. A Jones.4. R Wilson.5. Edelman . Now the fun begins 😈.
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Bday request: Lay on the couch all day, watch football, eat junk food. Husband: You lay on the couch all day and here is your brand new iPad Pro. I have it made. Love you @carpenterdb!.
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Oh hey! 👇👀 That’s super cool and I don’t care if I sound like a nerd.
With the addition of first-rounder Mekhi Becton, @stepmomlauren thinks the Jets' offensive line enters the 2020 season with real upside. See her picks for most improved O-Lines:
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Had to say goodbye to one of my best furry buddies of the last 11 years. He had a good, long life and brought us laughter and joy. Miss you already, Stitch! Until we meet again my friend ❤️❤️❤️
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I am not an Eagles fan, but as a spectator. I am now a mad Eagles fan. How do you all do this? This is terrible.
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Aight! I’m back! It’s been a crazy couple weeks and I have been remiss in my social media posting. I have some projects to do before the off season gets further along (maaaaaybe a new fireside background). Get ready, you’ll be seeing a LOT more of me in the upcoming months ❤️.
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So incredibly excited to start this journey! Let’s get it done, ladies and gents!.
Be sure to catch @chrismeaney, @allinkid & @stepmomlauren every Saturday from 9 to 11am ET on @SiriusXMFantasy starting July 8th!
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Here’s hoping I get 40 points out of Josh Jacobs tonight.
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What did I learn from this year’s @theffexpo? Let’s see… NEVER EVER LOOK LIKE THIS AGAIN. 🤦🏻♀️
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Well. this is interesting . ordered replacement bulbs for my Samsung microwave. and I got an empty box
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Temperature Guage: 🌡 how are we feeling about Leonard Fournette this year?.
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Dear fantasy football, . 🤦🏻♀️. Love,.Stepmom Lauren.
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Dear Cam,. I’m not mad. Just. disappointed. Love,.Stepmom Lauren.
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Finally getting @andyholloway on board with Le'Veon Bell in 2020. Still working on @jasonffl and @FFHitman .
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Holy cow! Can’t believe I got in! Thank you, Matt! Let’s go 2019 - I’m ready 😎.
Give a follow to the AMAZING writers I'll be mentoring this season (hopefully they can tweet better than I can). @ReaganHuggins12 .@stepmomlauren .@ScoutthePlayer.
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Wonderful intro on Saturday’s pod. @MikeTagliereNFL and @KyleYNFL are the real deal in life as well as fantasy football. ❤️s going out to you guys - keep up the great work!
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I think I am going to take this Friday off. Because I want to and I can.
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Hey all! My friend @BroCal38 needs some advice - trade away JuJu/Carson to receive CMC/Kittle?.
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Not my favorite part about fantasy, but someone has to do it 👇😬.
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Mark Andrews is hurt. Jets are 2nd best vs TE. Hurst and Boyle can get it done. they want to keep him healthy for the playoffs. I WILL NOT START MARK ANDREWS. I WILL NOT START MARK ANDREWS . I WILL NOT START MARK ANDREWS. Please help me stick with this.
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Woo hoo! Thank you, @LizLoza_FF and @YahooFantasy for the opportunity!.
Tomorrow on Fantasy Football Live, @LizLoza_FF is joined by special guest @stepmomlauren to discuss this season's biggest busts!. Tune in at 11:30am ET ➡️
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2 week check in . Starting weight: 152.This morning: 143. Overhauled my food choices and found the correct exercises to do for hormone balancing. BUT… anxiety and panic attacks seem to be getting worse. Next goal: more grounding and meditation. And maybe find a therapist.
I’m putting this on social media to hold myself accountable. I am making some pretty serious lifestyle changes for a healthier me. It’s a big overhaul and one I have been putting off. No more. It’s time. Wish me luck 😬.
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I got a super nice compliment today and I want to pay it forward. Tag three people and give a words of appreciation! . @FF_LeapOfFaith is one of the most thoughtful friends ever. @carpenterdb is the best husband in the world . @SamanthaRHolt is my spirit animal 💪.
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I have to shout out my champ of @theffexpo - my amazing hubby Jeff Carpenter @carpenterdb. Love this man
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Sooo. I just looked at my number of followers because I’m vain like that. 2,918 . WHAT? That is crazy! You guys and gals are all the very best there is! Thanks so much for follows and retweets, can’t thank you all enough! 👊🎉🥳.
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All right everyone! Here is the article about Dede Westbrook and Keelan Cole . and Nick Foles and John DeFilippo 😁.
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Looking for some late round TE gems? Here are Three TEs to Remember as you draft in 2020 👇.
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Dear Fantasy Football,. I love(hate) you. Love,.StepmomLauren.
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Dear Tyler Lockett, . The game started. Love,.Stepmom Lauren.
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👀 Here are 3 upgraded offensive lines and a look at what those changes mean for their fantasy relevant players.@Rotoworld_FB .
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Uummm. WTF? Should we be worried about AB’s mental health? And I’m serious, this is pretty weird .
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Dear Cam,. I don’t even know what to say. Love,.Stepmom Lauren.
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It is with a heavy heart we say goodbye to this sweet, old lady who showed up in our porch as skin and bones. After 5 years, lots food, water and love, Kit Kat was struck by a car. She was a very loved member of our family. PLEASE DO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE!!!
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It’s been a rough few days, but I’m putting the final touches on my #FantasyFootball piece to be released this week!.
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He loves me. he loves me not. he loves me. 🌸 . Another edition of the Make Up or Break Up series for @TheFFBallers 👇.
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Aaaaaaw YEAH!!!! Over 2,000 followers! You guys are all the best there is - cannot thank you all enough!
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