nassim
@stairedblanket
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Pinned Tweet
What I've been listening to the past six months. A few seemingly permanent residents; a few reissues; a few revisits. One album per artist.
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I hate everything about this. There's seemingly no shortage of adulation for this person and their gross, unfunny dork comics, so I have no reservations saying that being aware of these strips has made my life worse to a mild but definite extent.
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ps5 this and xbox series x that... almost as if people are afraid to talk about the real future of gaming
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You don't have to be a fan of her commodifying, agenda-pushing content, but the companies are the ones selecting her as a token, not the other way around. Being able to watch this video and still harbor resentment toward her strikes me as undoable. It's a litmus test for empathy.
After taking a few weeks off, Dylan Mulvaney is back on TikTok,
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I hate how colloquial the "Lift 'n' Peel" shit is on bottle openings. Like they've earned it because of how revolutionary it is. Guess what: I'm still stabbing it with a knife. It still takes less time than mustering up the finger strength to pry the fucking thing off.
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hey, can you dipshits stop asking if i'm "okay" or "alive"? fucking calm down. all i did was post a harrowing video of me in distress or whatever.
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when friends try making fun of my walking pace by moving exaggeratedly slowly, it's like, good—you look better. keep doing that. at least it doesn't look like i'm late for some unidentified 6 pm appointment on what should be a leisurely stroll.
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Hey, Epic Brigade! The block button isn't a gotcha: one can walk and chew gum at the same time (read: block and say this "art" is bad to me). The creator obviously has the right to ratio me in a public forum, but that naturally applies to criticism of popular media. Thanks!
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well, the transgenders are at it again. my nephew is b*tching about his sex change cancellation during this covidvirus fiasco. very selfish of him. i'm one very disappointed aunt. being a woman is all about patience, and an xy like him simply cannot grasp that. what a day.
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been consciously replacing "fair enough" with "that's extremely stupid, but you're not worth the energy to argue with"
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@literallysofie
what does she think the venn diagram of trans women and height insecurity looks like lmao
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i used to be so uptight, but now you can say "i could care less" to me and i couldn't care less about the denotation of that phrase being the direct opposite of what you meant 😌
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**LIKE 4 A TBH (GRADUATION EDITION) [YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT] MAY 2017**
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microdosing trespassing by abusing my roommate's begrudging acceptance of my request to use my old mirror when he's not in the room.
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uggghhhh.... i'm SO ocd!!!! if i don't like someone i just HAVE to stab them 15 times
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i'm 21 years old now, which means i can finally consume alcohol legally (aka "on the house")
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90% of the quote tweets being "true, i am annoying" suggests not only that bisexuals have to be the center of attention at all costs and are insecure about their ability to take jokes as the least oppressed sexual minority, but also that they're really fucking dull.
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shit... how do i covertly confess that i'm relieved to pass while also suggesting that passing is a bullshit concept??? if only there was a way to affirm my passability under the guise of calling out societal prejudice that i think is like SO BAD but insistently doesn't affect me
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Rick (sarcastically): "Did you know that Logic is biracial, Morty?"
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one of my hobbies is attending small lectures and eyeing the laptop screen of a student in front of me who's actually taking notes, thus misleading the professor into thinking they're not paying attention. honestly one of the top three reasons i bothered going to college at all
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my mom accidentally gendered me correctly and it was the best .7 seconds of my day tbh
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to the several uchicago undergrads i've witnessed attending classes in suits: i don't care if your ten-year salary projections are $40k higher than mine. the differential cannot compensate for your social ineptitude and low somatotropin levels. the coloring books are over there.
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interesting how "cake" sounds delicious but "caked in vomit" doesn't. one of the great easter eggs of the english language
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Today is all about the three Cs: candy 🍬, cheer 🌷, and Christ ✝️.
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at the park today, my son called a maskless couple "imbecilic sadists" & pulled out his collapsible poster with the age cohort mortality rates when clocking people as 65+. AND he graffitied "covid is lethal" on the back of his stroller & extorted me for a new one. what a handful!
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The Brendan Schaub hate is undeserved given that it implies that the bulk of popular comics are considerably funnier and not an indication that contemporary stand-up is virtually dead.
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enbies be like "i know a spot" and then mark an X on their birth certificate
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wow, you have amaaaazing bone structure! that Y chromosome must've been hyperactive during your adolescence
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when james charles comes out as trans, are trannies still gonna lose their shit and call her a man or will she suddenly be valid
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As someone who routinely gets mistaken for a woman nowadays, the subtle ways women get treated subordinately is eye-opening. It's easy for some men to say third-wave feminism is pointless when they're oblivious to the way they condescendingly coddle the other gender.
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I just said "lol" to myself after looking at a meme. Like, I didn't chuckle—I *said* an acronym to replace a natural instinct.
I hate so much about the things I choose to be.
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The competition at Pompano is so high, you need to bust your ass off for three years just to get a SENIOR QUOTE.
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"Pride and Prejudice (2017)" is a stellar directorial debut from
@dantheman2378
—a film as groundbreaking as it is necessary. 9.6/10.
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separating quote tweets from retweets is nice, but when is twitter going to separate pity likes from real likes?
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Guys who listen to Rogan: You can't even make a JOKE anymore in this postmodern wokestopia without people LOOKING to get offended. I wish we could go back to the time when NOTHING was off the table.
Also guys who listen to Rogan: don't make fun of me having no friends >:(
oh men are having a loneliness epidemic? that sucks. have they tried dressing less lonely?
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I don't know/care what kind of -phobic this makes me, but colored nails on boys who aren't pretty aren't pretty. You wouldn't put an aftermarket spoiler on a Hyundai Accent, would you? Just so people are distracted by something that sticks out like a painted thumb?
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trannies saying they can hold down a man when they can't even hold down their smoke alarm 😭
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Fun fact
#884
: On May 28th, 2007—exactly one decade ago—I purchased this Tamagotchi at a Walgreens. The only Memorial Day worth remembering.
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Just to let you know, this "acceptance" thing is *it*. It's a binding full ride. I'm committed to the University of Chicago. (Bye, Florida!)
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hey dipshits, if you're itching to go on that jog you never take, you know you can do it in a non-park, right? like in a non-concentrated area of potential virus carriers? in fact, outside is kinda like a park because it's not inside if you think about it
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So here's the deal:
I've been noticing a thing lately.
We have to recognize it.
And stop it.
Because it's bad.
Retweets appreciated and encouraged.
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tip: if you're looking to buy a fake ID on the cheap, just get a second-hand one of the opposite gender. a few cashiers might question you on it, but most won't because people don't like talking to trannies for more than three seconds
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meteorologists always say shit like "i expect a 30% chance of rain today". guess what dude so do i because i opened the free weather app on my phone. i just don't get to go on tv & say it like i have some inside fucking scoop
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not all HRT is created equal
not all HRT is created equal
not all HRT is created equal
not all HRT is created equal
not all HRT is created equal
not all HRT is created equal
not all HRT is created equal
not all HRT is created equal
not all HRT is created equal
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one of my hobbies is leaving sizable gaps between me and the people in front of me in lines, mounting futile frustration among the people behind me as they observe my ostensible unwillingness to move forward. i don't know if that makes me weird or whatever
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well, it's official: it's been forty-eight hours since i've last cried in front of a mirror 😌
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it's the weirdest thing... i'll be minding my own business and all of a sudden, someone on the timeline is blathering from some delusional fantasyland called "portland"
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To all the dudes replying to trans-related tweets with that stupid State Farm GIF: it's unfunny, overused, and the Raiders fucking suck.
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i regret not underlining the "i" in Nintendo DSi on my christmas list in 2009. needless to say, that year was a little "lite" on presents 😒
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4/20 this and 4/20 that....... 🙄 wake me up when it's heroin day
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oh, you've finally become accustomed to me as twitter name "gravel in your coffeemaker"? sucks to suck, fuckface. because i just changed it to "baked dinner roll call." try juggling that with the other phrases who tweet things.
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no, april didn't feel like six seconds. it felt like one month. you know why? because as a month, april is one month long, so it felt like that length of time. does that make sense?
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i put the popcorn bag in the microwave
:30
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bag stops popping
i keep waiting 😈
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radio silence
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i finally take it out
burnt to perfection 😋
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pinned tweets aren't for jokes or selfies, you fucking idiots. they're for showing everyone that you got 412 likes on an adjunct reply to a viral post in 2016.
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amazing how this murder is so unambiguous that conservatives' best bet is saying that people are reacting incorrectly to the murder
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you know you can tweet a meme without putting some devaluing caption over it, right? just take the W with the funny picture you stole. don't taint it by typing "lol the accuracy" above a meme that speaks for itself. accept that your best tweet ideally has zero input from you.
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friends SUCKS, right guys??? 😂😂😂 watched half of an episode on tbs this one time, and my unfamiliarity with the character archetypes led to the show's appeal being lost on me 😂😂😂 that's when i knew i had to base part of my personality on hating a popular sitcom from the 90s
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to the people i still follow from high school who've abandoned their accounts but have automatic daily horoscope tweets or follower/unfollower count updates: thanks for contributing more to my timeline than you never did when you were active.
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the following fact is statistically true: complete strangers have used my preferred pronouns *infinity times* more frequently than my own parents have 🙃
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don't mean to brag, but i'm actually an excellent trans ally. when pronoun day rolls around, i harness all my mental energy to gender my several trans friend the way they keep telling me to. kinda like a "get out of jail free" card but for an entire 24 hours
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I could write a thesis on this. Concisely: A lot of the "downsides" overlap with the experiences of all women, so complaining has an undertone of "my life should be infinitely better than that of an unattractive woman, but instead, it's only significantly better."
This woman opens up about something we hardly ever talk about: the downsides of being an attractive woman.
This is a valid struggle some women have to deal with yo.
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gagging on my toothbrush hasn't been the same since i stopped drinking
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was hellbent on doing no putt november this year but i accidentally traveled to a golf resort in southern arizona and i guess one thing led to another and i fucked a five iron
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