annie
@soychotic
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views are NOT my own. I don't know who they belong to but they are defjntely NOT MINE!!!
Joined May 2019
Every time I have a programming question and I rly need help, I post it on Reddit and then log into another account and reply to it with an obscenely incorrect answer. Ppl don’t care about helping others but they LOVE correcting others. Works 100% of the time.
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Can someone do a correlation study on kids who were started with mac computers versus windows pcs and tech illiteracy or even just general problem solving skills because I have a Hypothesis.
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Telling every man in the office I like their shirt then tallying the frequency at which they each wear it over the next quarter to calculate my individual influence to adjust the amount of seconds I look into their eyes accordingly.
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Somebody please tell me there’s a video game with an item called “the ancient manipulator” bc otherwise I’m pretty sure my zoomer bf has a very mean codeword to refer to me when he’s playing on the computer with his friends !.
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100 films down this year 🫡 🎉
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Fellas she might love you but does she “give up her princess title and become a commoner by marrying you and support you thru multiple failed bar exams” love you ?
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I love to scroll through all the “I don’t love my wife anymore” posts on r/relationship_advice and see how many paragraphs of filler OP wrote just to say that his wife got fat.
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I will NEVER be able to comprehend this design change. A. They’re almost always wrong. B. They cost more money (always-on display, need to regenerate upon new products, loss of cold air because they’re always wrong).C. They do not make the lives of the employees or customers
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Not sure what u guys are talking abt ? ? my stocks are doing just fine 😎
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I’m so fucking mad at Elon for sperging out and accidentally doing a nazi salute right before I visit my lib female relatives . You dumbass now I gotta listen to 4+ hours of hysteria.
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STEMtard students try not to bring up the weally weally hawd concepts ur studying within the first 5 messages challenge.
A solid 40-50% of my matches make pissy comments about my chosen field of study I’m so fucking tired of it
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@SurelyAutomata That is his hobby with his best friend :) we do other things together like have sex.
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(Takes amphetamines) ohhh im supposed to feel this way all the time !!. Are you fuckin crazy.
I (finally) got Adderall and now I'm in "oh I could have felt so much better if anyone had noticed this for 30 years" late-stage diagnosis mourning. Here's to all the first born daughters, all the "perfect student"-esque people who never got the support they needed.
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Omg the last commit in the codebase was 8 months ago from a developer who quit with a commit message of just “I’m sorry”
>gets new job as junior dev.>finds out there is no senior dev.>finds out there are no other devs period.>finds out all their devs quit abruptly at the same time recently . (chuckles) I’m in danger.
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Obsessed with TikTok “what to wear to work” Hot girls are actually from a different universe
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Oh thank god , a place to store my 3D objects . So happy windows adds this by default . I’d have no idea what to do with all my 3D objects without it
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The safest password management system is just making a different really long password for every new account, storing it nowhere, forgetting it completely, and then resetting your password every time you sign in.
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Does clicking “yes” do anything at all or does FREAKY BILL just get off to making me feel like a clown every day
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>gets new job as junior dev.>finds out there is no senior dev.>finds out there are no other devs period.>finds out all their devs quit abruptly at the same time recently . (chuckles) I’m in danger.
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Can somebody please fucking explain to me what dumbass developer defined the phrase “synchronous operations” to mean “one after the other” when the word “synchronous” literally means “happening at the same time”.
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This is your husband’s work wife/product mommy btw and he tells her he loves her outfit every morning and she does a little twirl for him.
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Getting so much done because they have a scrum master ! ❤️ (the big bitch at the top performing no work and making the cracker heavier).
Ants can carry 10-50 times their body weight. But while what each of them can carry alone is already impressive, their team work results are always stunning.
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Had an evil idea about how to make money off of morons and checked to see if someone was already doing it… yep
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@hesmuscular Then he’s probably more sociopathic than me and I just don’t know I’m a puppet yet.
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Putting non-tech millennials in tech and giving them titles like “Product Owner”, “Project Manager”, and “Scrum Master” is just a modern Stanford Prison Experiment.
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Devs what title from other professions should we steal next? We already destroyed “engineer” and “architect”. …I’m thinking I like “software doctor” or ooooh maybe “software surgeon”.
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I’m SORRY if I wasn’t the first person to come up with this! This just reaffirms that most philosophical insights are not revolutionary because a person with a 75 IQ can easily come up with this shit too!.
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I’m about to write code so optimized and so efficient and so sensible that people will accuse me of being trans.
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No offense but what sort of absolute nimrods need to pay for an app to download a high quality picture to use as phone wallpaper.
And now - I'm so pumped to be launching this app! People have asked where I get wallpapers FOREVER, so this is the answer, now and forever: PANELS!. @panels_art . Available on iOS or Android
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@divya_venn Yeah but the pages of “also um she once called me short and she once lost one of my funko pops” in an attempt to justify it to the public for reassurance is goofy as hell.
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I love installing anaconda because now there’s 3 diff pythons on my computer and they’re all broken.
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I Warned you
You confiscate my points . I do all this for you and you take them from me . Consider the die cast
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@gamesdev_Dan At least burgers flying through the air provides some aesthetic value 😭 it is fucking weird how fast food restaurants expect everyone to know their menu by heart. I was in the chick fil a line and they were just taking orders before anyone even got to the menu. When I asked to.
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In a room full of actual chemical/nuclear/mechanical engineers, yall would start calling yourselves “developer” real fuckin quick.
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Hate. This shit sucks. Put everything I need on the mf page I’m sick of scrolling endlessly bc u want me to watch your little animations.
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When I was 18 I took my laptop to MIT computers on Fowler avenue in Tampa FL and the guy who was supposed to repair my screen installed a software to watch me through my webcam and I didn’t find out until months later (geeksquad ur a real 1) . So I would always recommend watching.
When the manager comes with a bug and start staring at your screen expecting fix immediately 😭. I need a paper like that!
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You took a JavaScript bootcamp, made a few basic web apps just like the tutorials showed you, and now you’re writing “engineer” in your bio. You feel like an imposter because you are one brother 🤣🤣.
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Does anyone else remember the pain of hearing the term “API” for the first time and trying to figure out what the fuck it even was?.
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Umm I thought Java was just a nickname for JavaScript? Turns out it’s like…a whole thing? . Anyway it’s my first day working for Google as a Senior Staff Java Engineer (L13) and I’m feeling a little silly rn!.
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Don’t hate on these girls I personally would never waste an opportunity to get away with something others can’t 😈.
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Stem grad student trying to go five minutes without bringing up a theorem he barely understands to a girl who didn’t ask and doesn’t care
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Yall it’s my first day as a staff devops engineer and I’m trying to make a static site in the AWS . does this look right ?
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I hate when people give very normal basic things insane names like “dependency injection” or “polymorphism” or “reverse cowgirl” like shut up!!!!!.
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Guy at the bar just told me he was a software developer I said “oh I know a little abt software development…what language?”. He said “consulting”.
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Scrolling thru pics from 5 years ago and found the day I first started learning programming . How the hell I fuck up hello_world.py so bad
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@pewnit This is true. All I have is the current frequency of this shirt related to the current frequency of their other shirts. I should have also collected the frequency of each shirt prior to the experiment. SMH!!!.
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“Amphetamines make me feel so happy and motivated!!!” Yeah they do this to everyone.
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Holy shit. We finally hired another dev a few weeks ago… I gave him access to the codebase yesterday… and suddenly he up and quit today. FUCK whoever made this god damn repo.
Omg the last commit in the codebase was 8 months ago from a developer who quit with a commit message of just “I’m sorry”
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In North Korea, GitLab emails everyone in your company each time your pipeline fails. It puts your name in the email title and says you broke it. If your pipeline fail too many times… the repository gets deleted and you die
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I’ve watched about 30 hours of docker tutorials, I have installed and used docker, I have run docker commands, I have created and destroyed docker containers and pulled docker images from dockerhub. I have no fucking idea what docker do.
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Meth makes me feel AMAZING 😍😍 is this what life is supposed to be like ?!.
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📢 PROTONMAIL IS A HONEYPOT 📢. Host your own email server or perish.
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ohh. husbant. u never comeplete the sprint backlog and now we are homless :(
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Mf “did everything” except write code.
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Microsoft when they decide to make .NET Core, .NET Framework, and .NET Standard then iterate them at the same time then stop working on them all except .NET Core but it’s not called .NET Core anymore it’s uh just .NET now but it’s still Core not Framework (even though it’s a
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Went to the VIM store! Super fun but it stank of all the rotting bodies who couldn’t find the exit :(
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Stop following me and dming me . I stole this pic from a fat loser like you on eBay.
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To be clear I am not anti-drug I am anti-“taking stims and pretending you medically need it and blaming all your former failures on not having it”.
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or condemning/attacking the thing.
a super common trait of lower midwits is their tendency to assume that simply pointing out the existence of a thing is equivalent to endorsing or defending the thing.
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This bitch fucked up my iced coffee so badly that I’m actually going to vote this year for whichever candidates are in favor of lowering the minimum wage and that barista’s quality of life for four years or more I’m not even vindictive naturally that’s how badly she fucked it.
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I can honestly say… from the bottom of my heart… if you are a software developer… no matter if you have a CS degree or not… no matter where you deploy… no matter how many nginx configs you’ve toiled over… I will NEVER consider you an engineer 💯.
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@TimeInvarianceX I have no opinion on this either way. the common denominator is almost always wife got fat.
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@scottastevenson Yeah I didn’t think about that because I’m retarded now let me be retarded in peace!.
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AWS is so funny . I am not answering your “bills” . All I did was press some buttons nothing serious.
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Hanging out with my project manager friends who work from coffee shops and don’t know what docker is and have pretty notebooks and make more money than me and then realizing I have to go to the office tomorrow to fix C firmware makes me feel real uhhhhhh.
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Embedded dev is 10x more satisfying than web development to me… but damn I just spent 5 minutes trying to figure out how to make this chip count 5 seconds.
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Being a software dev at a non-tech company means getting assigned IT/networking work you have no idea how to do like I’ve ripped out all my eyebrow hair what the fuck is subnet mask prefix.
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Unfortunately die work wear or whatever is a psyop to turn men into women . Cuz why the hell else would he be telling them to dress that gay.
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Men, your dream girl is . ~using an ORM.~making every variable global.~has intenstinal. worms.
Men, your dream girl isn't on dating apps or at a nightclub, she's:. ~ At church .~ At the farmer's market.~ In the library.~ In a bookstore .~ Sipping a whole milk latte in a cute cafe.~ Baking sweet treats for loved ones.~ Spending time in nature
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I feel like a fucking psycho writing “async” to make shit run in parallel when the word “asynchronous” literally means “not simultaneous or concurrent in time”.
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REAL convo i just had to have with my dev as his Scrum master:. Him: I finished this item on the backlog.Me: ….Him: what.Me: soo ig you technically met requirements, but like. idk :( I require more.Him: what other requirements?.Me: idk :( just more :(( .Him: what.Me: do u even.
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but u don’t understand how perfect my kitty.conf will be once I minority tweak dracula hexes enough
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What’s stopping you from making a really good fake resume, then applying for a big tech jobs in cities you wanna visit so you can get flown out and a hotel stay for free (at the cost of 1 or 2 humiliating hours) ?.
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They call me Boolean, cuz ima type
I need a sexy mechanical keyboard for work that isn’t noisy and is small enough for my premature baby hands help.
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Needed to get my phone repaired once too (screen again) and the guy asked for my passcode. Got pissed off when I asked “why?” and refused to repair my screen lol.
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You can actually tell how attractive you are based on the way ppl insult your looks online!. If they say you’re ugly, you’re likely a 6 or below (Average or ugly). If they say you’re plastic/fake, hey that’s pretty good! You’re probably a 7 maybe an 8! If they say you look like a.
@soychotic I wouldn’t be talking about how anyone looks with that plastic face.
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