Misconceptions of a Deity
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“…Yet despite her words, Dazai Osamu started moving. She’s on the hunt for her new prey, and the opportunity is too good to miss.”
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or a vet student milf hunter dazai tries to woo the lonely woman at her workplace, but chuuya’s not having it
.
.
.
Dazai trying to flirt with the stunning stranger at the bar:
Dazai: ‘Has anybody told you that you look like Elena Satine?’
Chuuya: ‘No, they usually tell me that I look like Nakahara Chuuya.’
Dazai: ‘… Who the fuck is that?’
Chuuya: ‘Me, bitch.’
and what if dazai gains weight and his cheeks get a little rounder bc of that and he’s kind of shy about it but chuuya absolutely LOVES them and very much enjoys pinching and kissing them, cooing at dazai how proud he is that dazai has put on some weight bc he’s glowing
Dazai regularly texting Chuuya even after Chuuya ghosted him because even if he liked the man, he transitioned and saved himself a heartbreak, but after TWO YEARS he snaps and tries to scare Dazai away:
Dazai: Hey, queen, I hope you have a great day ❤️
Chuuya: I’m a guy now.
imagine Chuuya walking on the street, minding his own business looking sexy af and he hears a whistle and he turns around to throw insults at the dude but it’s Dazai panicking, apologizing and explaining that it was a tic and bc of that he tics more and Chuuya’s bewitched now
Dazai going on a date with the most beautiful guy that he talked with for a month now, it’s their first time meeting irl and the brunette is stressed. Chuuya opens the door, they greet each other and then the redhead pulls out a mobility cane and Dazai curiously asks about it-
As a new person in school, Chuuya really wanted to fit in, so when the popular kids took a notice of him and promised that if he does a challenge, they’ll welcome him to the group, he didn’t hesitate to accept it. The challenge was to steal an earphone of a nerdy student-
When Chuuya went to the bar for a relaxing drink alone, he didn’t plan on wooing anyone, but how could he resist an out of this world handsome brunette?
He saw crutches beside him, but didn’t give it a second thought, since it’s not what he’s interested in.
just remembered that chuuya literally read kouyou’s book for relationship problems to deal with dazai and people still have the audacity to call them brothers LMAO
Dazai always dreaded going to school, knowing that he won’t have anyone to open his mouth to anyway.
Lost in thought he almost walked into a person. A very short person. Wait, no, they’re sitting jn the wheelchair.
It seemed that the boy was trying to somehow climb the stairs.
Dazai, without hesitation: Hey, king, I hope you have a great day ❤️
and that’s why patience is a virtue and you should never give up on the fight until you win the belt, or more like until you win over your future husband
i want more forced proximity skk, like let’s say Chuuya’s a private detective and he finally cuffs thief Dazai during their fight, but ofc the tall shit cuffs Chuuya with him and now they can’t get out of them because they’re anti-ability… they’re also together on the run-
i love pregnant chuuya so much, he would look so soft and domestic, dazai would absolutely adore the new glow that chuuya gained from it and indulge in this parental bliss
dazai is so embarrassing god i hate him so much, WE GET IT you’re obsessed with chuuya, you don’t have to show the pictures of him that you keep nor announce that you’re thinking of him every day for the past 7 years, cringe ahh
i just remembered a viking tradition where they gave their brides a cat as a wedding gift bc of freya, so imagine when soukoku gets married and the first thing dazai sees in their apartment after the wedding is a black cat and chuuya is so nonchalant about it-
but the redhead grabs his lapels and drags him down for a kiss and they kiss kiss and kiss and at the end they don’t go to the damn restaurant, instead pawing at each other until like midnight
dazai is definitely the type of person to moan out loud in the middle of a fight to embarrass chuuya so when chuuya decides to uno reverse, he thought that he’ll get back at dazai, but he only sees a few seconds of shocked expression before the brunette is jumping him
sheepishly.
The redhead sticked out his hand towards the other boy with a smile and once they sealed their new friendship with a handshake, they felt warm inside, eager to get to know each other.
//end
a little bonus is that Chuuya’s neighbors hear the shouting and think ‘do we call the cops?’ but as soon as they see what the screaming match is about they’re like ‘omg our dear Chuuya finally found his match’ and coo at them every time they see the couple
Dazai going on a date with the most beautiful guy that he talked with for a month now, it’s their first time meeting irl and the brunette is stressed. Chuuya opens the door, they greet each other and then the redhead pulls out a mobility cane and Dazai curiously asks about it-
it would be so bad if i had to read something for you or gasp! even worse, hold your hand every time we’re out? how awful, the brunette deadpans and they shout at each other like that until they’re panting in silence and then Chuuya’s like cmere and Dazai expects a punch
SKK arranged marriage au where dazai, the heir of one of the most influential family of politicians murders someone and doesn’t even bother to cover the crime scene.
The tsushima’s decide to swallow their pride and ask the nakaharas - a bloodline of the best lawyers-
They’re both thankful that Chuuya is the owner, so he lives upstairs and they don’t waste any time ☺️
//
It takes few words and they’re already heart eyes for each other, i hate them so much
He didn’t expect the gorgeous man to sigh in disappointment and say ‘you can go now’. Dazai panics because they didn’t even go out yet and he already fucked up so he asks if it’s a sensitive topic and they don’t have to talk about it, all sweaty and Chuuya says that it’s him
giving the brunette the opportunity to go so he doesn’t waste his time and Dazai’s like why would i waste my time with you??? and Chuuya loses his patience and shouts that he’s blind and all the previous guys ran away as soon as they’ve learned about it and Dazai starts to raise
his voice too saying that’s it? really? like my man stressed for nothing and Chuuya is flabbergasted because wtf is wrong with this guy and tries to shoo him away saying that he doesn’t want to be a liability to anyone and Dazai is so done, sarcastically saying that oh noooo
femskk royalty au where princess chuuya has to choose her spouse to cover up the scandal that was her brother’s paul’s elopement with a mere draper. lord oda is very kind, polite and fun to talk to, yet chuuya still feels something missing. that changes when she sees brown eyes-
Chuuya hooking up with a random person at a party (a very handsome fellow) and he’s so turned on by that guy that his brain throws itself out of the window and breeding kink takes its place when he utters two magical words:
‘breed me’.
straight up forbidding Dazai from condoms
earphone was in fact not the said device, but a hearing aid instead. The other boy protectively covered his ear, turned towards Chuuya with hurt in his expression and ripped the aid out of his hand while the redhead stood frozen.
His brain only restarted when the taller ran away
*chuuya walking into the kitchen pissed off because he didn’t wake up with dazai next to him today and his pregnancy hormones are raging*
dazai: ‘hey slug, i’ve made you-‘
chuuya: *getting into dazai’s face with a look that could kill* ‘you are gay’
…
‘chuuya we’re marri-‘
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know that it’s
a hearing aid. Those morons deceived me for entertainment.’.
The taller boy took Chuuya’s phone and typed back:
‘Apology accepted. I’m Dazai btw, wanna be friends?’
Chuuya looked up after reading it and observed that Dazai was looking away
because supposedly ‘he was a teacher’s pet and he could listen to music even during lessons’.
How foolish he was, he learned only when he approached the brunette from behind and took the earphone out of his ear.
Shame took over him immediately when he noticed that the
And after that one situation, it became Dazai’s life mission to save money. He even became a babysitter for extra cash.
All of that to see the biggest smile and receive the most loving kiss when his boyfriend got the best graduation gift ever: prosthetic legs.
//end
and decided to follow after him. He passed by the laughing group that lied to him and muttered with passive aggressiveness ‘you guys suck’, not wanting to waste his energy on them.
He finally caught up with him on the roof. The feeling of shame doubled when he noticed that
‘Drop dead gorgeous, smart, funny, charming AND tall?? You’re literally the man of my dreams.’ Chuuya exclaimed.
‘You don’t mind the…?’
‘I don’t give a flying fuck if your body is slightly different. I want you, you silly goose.’ Chuuya grumbled.
Dazai, still in daze
Dazai at the airport being body checked by the prettiest transportation security officer Chuuya and he wants to flirt so he says ‘you look good kneeling in front of me, sir’.
What he didn’t expect is Chuuya smirking at him and replying ‘we have to date first before i propose’.
skk being like whatever about sex but then turning into two horny beasts when they’re with each other is my favorite meal like yes two stunning people are down bad and can’t keep their hands from each other THE MAGNETISM
the deaf boy was sitting curled up on the floor with the hearing aid in his palm and crying silently. Chuuya walked towards him and when the brunette saw him, he hid his face.
He raised his head again when he felt a tap on his knee and saw a text on the redhead’s phone:
Chuuya’s on a path in the woods. And at the end of that path there’s a cabin. And in the basement of that cabin is a Prince.
He will lie, he will cheat, and he will do everything in his power to stop Chuuya from slaying him.
So why does he look so beautifully fragile?
He gently approached him and they immediately clicked with each other, Dazai’s slight stuttering making the redhead swoon, because GOD even his imperfections are perfect.
And so they spent so much time talking that the bar was almost closing.
But before the brunette could register the predictable yet still stinging pain in his chest, the redhead finished the sentence:
‘Because I think I’m in love with you… You’re so tall?!’
Dazai was stunned into silence, because that’s a first.
But Dazai visibly cringed at that. Did Chuuya go too far too soon? Did he get the wrong signal?
But the brunette kind of answered to his internal question:
‘You won’t like me that much when I stand up.’
And the redhead was confused, is it about the crutches?
Dazai got up - his mobility aid in hands - shakily, with a lack of co-ordination, legs visibly struggling to keep up.
Chuuya scowled and observed, looking at his legs in a passing. He did a full body check and murmured:
‘You’re right, I don’t think I like you.’
With that action the pretty boy fell silent.
‘What’s your name?’
‘… Nakahara Chuuya.’ The redhead mumbled.
‘Dazai Osamu, nice to meet you, Chuuya.’ The brunette introduced himself, surprisingly happy.
He also learned that they’re in the same class, woah!
able to do it, yet here you are, being so strong and cool.’
And at that Chuuya just opened his arms in a silent plea and Dazai understood, going in for a hug.
That’s how the two boys began to form a long, beautiful friendship that soon enough turned into something romantic.
The people were staring as they were passing by, some even snickering, which Dazai gave no attention to since he was used to it already.
But Chuuya spoke up:
‘Can we go to the backyard for a moment? I want some peace and quiet.’
‘Of course!’ The tall boy chirped.
‘Do you need help? I don’t think you’ll be able to get up alone and you’ll only waste time.’
The redhead turned around glaring and oh, he could look at that face for hours.
‘Fuck off.’
But Dazai was enchanted and stubborn at that, so he just grabbed the handles and went ahead.
‘It’s so embarrassing, being so dependent on someone. Why can’t I be normal?’ The boy sobbed.
‘But you are normal… You just need help sometimes to move. It’s not embarrassing that you lack legs, it’s actually admirable that you function like this. Not a lot of people would be
As they arrived into a secluded place, Dazai heard a sniffle coming from the redhead and immediately reacted, walking around and crouching in front of Chuuya.
‘Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Did I make you uncomfortable?’ The brunette asked, voice filled with concern.
Happy disability pride month!!! remember that you deserve love no matter how you look like or what you struggle with c:
Kouyou actually helped Dazai a little bit financially so the prosthetic legs are very high quality >_<
from the police because that bastard Dazai decided to kiss Chuuya while the officers approached them so it looked like they’re a thing ugh 🙄 though Chuuya cannot lie that he didn’t enjoy the kiss 👎
a wise person (Vikkie) once said that Dazai’s love language is premature ejaculation and i still think about it every few days, i just adore the image of Dazai being so pathetically horny and in love that he busts a nut right after burying himself in Chuuya
•the apothecary diaries au! skk•
Chuuya knew he should’ve listened to Kouyou when she warned him that there’s a lot of kidnappings around the pleasure district lately.
Yet his stupid confidence won and now he’s working as a maid in the rear palace.
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-and after the initial excitement over the new family member, dazai kisses chuuya all over his face, telling him how much he loves him and the gift, so of course chuuya can’t help but blush as he grumbles “i love you too, osamu”
-when in reality he’s so nervous because what if dazai wanted something else, but he’s positively surprised when dazai all but gushes around their fur baby that he obviously names slug-
Dazai would be so red after that, not expecting to actually receive a flirty answer back and if he is dragged to the office because Chuuya has to ‘check further’ and comes out with messy hair, ruffled up clothes and swollen lips… well it doesn’t matter, because he bagged a bf
He’s about to have a mental breakdown when a sleepy Dazai comes in, peeking at the test and says:
‘Well, I wanted to ask for your number, but having kids together is fine with me too.’
Prince Dazai was soon to be coronated as the new king, but then the news came out:
prince Dazai is now princess Dazai.
And that’s good; the country considers transgender people a blessing in the family.
But a woman can become a queen only if married to another loyal.
btw i will definitely write more skk threadfics with disabilities because i need more representation of them and if you have any ideas then i will be so so happy to know; rare ones, common ones idgaf i’m not picky
Chuuya is trans and they both have a breeding kink so they’ll definitely have at least 3 kids in the near future.
Also obviously chuuya falls in love with dazai so there is no killing.
Nakaharas aren’t happy at first, but thanks to their union
🔞
during the apocalypse, Chuuya’s bf Dazai turned into a zombie, but imagine his surprise when instead of wanting to eat the redhead’s brain or flesh like in the movies, his lovely bf actually wanted to eat his pu-
zombiezai: arghhh 🧟♂️ chuussy… erghhh
… i’m so sorry