Simon Love
@simonloverules
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Following
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Media
7,611
Statuses
57,692
This’ll stay here as a testament to my greatness but I’m deleting the app. I’ll probably be back when Elon kills himself.
London, England
Joined September 2013
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I’m currently in conversation with the real Paul McCartney on Instagram
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They’re sat in opposite corners of the same restaurant and have just spotted each other
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#KurtCobain
would've been 50 today. Thanks to computers we can see what he would've looked like
#computers
#kurtat50
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I’m in a hospitality box at
#LiamGallagher
and I’ve just seen this on a seat in front of mine.
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My wife bought some new plates for us to eat our LSD off
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I don’t think people should be going back to work before they can hug their families.
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I stole my friends girlfriend. It was all whirlwind heat, and flash. Within a week we killed my parents and hit the road
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I’ve just realised that this photo was taken on the day my mum died alone in a Covid ward.
There aren’t words to express my continued anger towards these absolute showers of shit.
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It’s the first time Morrissey’s been called far left for ages
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I’m going in heavy for the big prize. After all, I am supporting his carrier.
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Is that a sink or a bath behind him? It’s either massive or tiny depending on which.
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Jacob Rees-Mogg announces the birth of twin girls
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You absolute clown car crash of a man. The fucking balls on you and your ilk. I hope a gas cooker full of shit falls on you when you’re out dogging.
Thank you to Tesco in Molesey and the Trussell Trust for partnering to encourage customers to generously provide food collections for families in our community, who are struggling at this time of year.
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An exclusive look at the first draft of the cover of “Now And Then”
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Predicted answers: Bingo Handjob. At a rent party. Brain aneurysm. The B52s. The drummer wrote it. Loads of t-shirts with slogans. It’s what was shouted at Dan Rather when he was attacked. Ipswich Town FC.
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My mum died last Friday and I wasn’t able to visit her. At her funeral a week on Friday I won’t be able to hug any of my family. This Mekon looking cunt wants hanging.
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This morning we were awoken by our son showing us this drawing of
@taskmaster
that he’s done.
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A friend bought me the illustrated Beatles lyrics and “Revolution
#9
” is in it! All together now…
#takethisbrothermayitserveyouwell
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My mum died alone in a Covid ward on the same day this photo was taken.
I don't want
#BorisOut
, I'd just like him to be beheaded live on "Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway" It's what she would've wanted.
The other cunts can be pushed into a vat of shit and sealed inside.
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I wonder what they’ll spend that £11.54 on? I love making this joke over and over because I hate Spotify.
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I’ve just seen a man in full running gear with a surgical mask over his face holding an open can of Special Brew. Is this how you defeat the Coronavirus?
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I would rather watch Dave Lee Travis play Macbeth.
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It’s just a JPEG of his cock and balls wearing sunglasses
We have now received a response on behalf of
@BorisJohnson
.
We are not able to publish it.
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We just showed my mother-in-law this photo of her and Syd Barrett and she said “Oh look at me there…I look so stern!” She didn’t remember who the three men on the left were but said Imo was a “rough diamond” Syd’s wearing kaleidoscope goggles apparently.
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I’ve watched this several times this morning and it gets funnier.
When filming the og STAR WARS trilogy, Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca) would really speak to Harrison Ford in the scenes - so when Solo is reacting, he's reacting to actual dialogue and not just wookie sounds. This is *hilarious* I'm gonna need an entirely new Special Edition.
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I bet he’d write a tedious LP about a President called Donald Chump. It’d all be jazz funk fusion and there’d be a song called “Covfefe”
#guaranteed
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“I’d have to say the best of the Beatles”
Rebellious Jukebox! Noel Gallagher from Oasis! Melody Maker, 17 September 1994.
#MelodyMaker
#MyLifeInTheUKMusicPress
#1994
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When listening to the excellent day-by-day “Get Back” podcasts from
@IAmTheEggPod
please spare a thought for my friend Dan who’s listening to The Beatles in real time. For the next 9 months the only record by them that exists for him is “My Bonnie”
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I queued all night in the wind and the rain but I got what I wanted for
#RecordShopDay
#RSD2024
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My mum died 5 days before these cunts had their little party.
On the 20th of May, I was wandering around London dazed and upset that I couldn’t be in Cardiff with my dad and sister.
Tories aren’t people. Not a single one will show a sign of regret or remorse about this.
#atac
"People died sticking to the rules, and they broke those rules to have a bottle of wine"
BBC speaks to families of people who died in May 2020, the month of the No 10 party
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My mother-in-law and Syd Barrett in a garden in Cambridge (I think) at some point in the mid-60s.
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Unfollowing tedious people dragging “The Frog Chorus” into this when any fule kno it’s called “We All Stand Together”
#thehilliwilldieon
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Guess who got banned from Facebook for which comment on a piece about Yoko Ono?
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“Delighted”
The absolute fucking state of all of you cunts.
After many years of campaigning, I am delighted the Immigration Bill which will end free movement on 31st December has today passed through Parliament.
We are delivering on the will of the British people.
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Six years ago today my wife went out and I dressed my son up as Kevin Rowland
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I see dead people
Bruce Willis asked to leave pharmacy for refusing to wear a mask
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He’s never been to an indiepop gig then?
Jon Snow on the pro-Brexit protests outside Parliament, "I have never seen so many white people in one place... it's an extraordinary story, there are people everywhere"
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Turns out the vinyl copy of “Carry On Up The Charts” that I bought for £1 in 1996, is the most Discogs expensive record I own.
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The Red Hot Chilli Peppers
What is the worst possible band lineup? It can be literally anybody, living or dead.
Vocals -
Guitar -
Bass -
Drums -
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Went to the pub. I think that’s Ringo’s Nissan Note parked outside.
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Twitter CEO Linda Yaccarino says the rebranded platform X will be “powered by AI.”
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I said “Tandyman” three times in the mirror last night and
@michaellegge
appeared in my flat
#collaborativecontent
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Cunts as far as the eye can see
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My friend just sent me a phot of the true crime Guess Who she made for her girlfriend and I am extremely jealous.
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Cunt and Dec
James Corden 'to stand in for Ant on Saturday Night Takeaway'
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I was going to join in with the family doing the Joe Wicks daily workout thing but he’s got a Stratocaster on his wall and this means I couldn’t due to religious reasons.
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Hi, I’m the mysterious figure at the funeral. I’m stood away from the mourners and will disappear when someone tries to follow me. It’s also raining and everyone has black umbrellas.
Hi I'm a rock journalist who is actually friendly with the band and moderately attractive and has sex with another person.
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I'm listening to my first ever Fall album lads thanks to a friend having a clear out.
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Met Tim from Ash at Adam Green. Told him my first girlfriend only went out with me because she thought I looked like him. He told me I won the hair competition.
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Narrator: “They do”
I don’t think people blame the Government for the Covid death rate.
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It went well. Got some laughs and I didn’t just bawl my way through it all. Thanks for all your advice and encouragement.
I have finished my father’s eulogy. How much of it I’ll be able to get through is another thing all together. People have said, “Let the celebrant read it”, but it’s been written in a notebook in my increasingly illegible handwriting. In twelve hours time he’ll be in the furnace.
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My wife is out tonight, so I dressed our son up as Kevin Rowland
#dexysmidnightrunners
#tooryeay
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@elisjames
A now ex-girlfriend said she almost dumped me when we were sat in a cafe in Newport because I made a sex face when I saw how thick their gravy was. It was very thick.
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I’d rather watch him cover a live grenade
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This is amazing for all the VU heads out there a 1967 interview with Lou Reed, John Cale and Tom Wilson
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I got to play bass in a band backing Daniel Johnston a few years ago with Tom
@LosCampesinos
,
@SpencerSegelov
,
@Sweet_Babs
and
@ratatoskmusic
It was terrifying and hilarious at the same time.
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It's what he would've wanted
James Corden joins Coldplay to pay tribute to Tom Petty with 'Free Fallin' cover
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Look at this fucking grifter
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I feel your pain. I was banned for 7 days for calling Frank Turner a cunt.
Yesterday Twitter slapped me with a 12-hour ban for a tweet referencing the Koch brothers. The day that we are silenced for calling out fascism, for pointing a finger at those who would rape and pillage the very air we breathe, may God help us!
@twitter
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I’m sad these piece of shit cars aren’t legal in the UK, as I’d egging them constantly.
My Dad got egged while driving last night. Looks like it came from the Shadow Ridge Apartment Homes in Simi Valley, CA. Must have been someone that threw it over the wall or from their balcony as there was no visible person or car around in the dashcam footage. Sigh
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She did it. She actually did it. Probably poison on her hand. Handshake. Off.
In this clip from 1994, Leeds student Liz Truss tells ITV News the idea of the monarchy is 'disgraceful'.
Today she meets the queen to be appointed as the new PM.
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I got to say “See you next Tuesday” when I left work today because I’m not in til next Tuesday and they’re all cunts.
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I cannot believe that this Linda McCartney Vegetarian Chicken Roast contains no Wings
#wings
#lindamccartney
#meatfreemonday
#dotcom
#youcandoitrightnowplease
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@buntyhoven
Every fucking year…”Ooh what’s this in my calend…oh it’s the Battle of the Boyne”
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It’s mine
Just went passed a charity shop that had a hardback version of “The Beatles: An Illustrated Record” in the window. If it’s still there in an hour it’s mine.
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That boy...was Adam And The Ants
56 years ago today, a 20 years old boy started recording his debut album over two days at Columbia Recording Studios in New York City. The rest, as they say, is history.
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“Sack Michael for being unloyal…disloyal”
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However will I cope without your 99p?
@simonloverules
Oh dear Simon - love , saw you for the first time in
#Wales
last year enjoyed gig , was just about to buy download
#bandcamp
, sadly read this tweet ...... Goodnight.
#BrexitCelebration
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I whistled a Kinks song yesterday and now I’m worried that Dave’s going to come for me for payment.
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I’m enjoying “Paul McCartney: The Lyrics”, but there’s no way “Eat At Home” is about having breakfast in bed.
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My sister saved these (amongst others) from being chucked out at a community theatre last night…
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We need a three part documentary about the 1996 Brit Awards to show America what "The Greatest Night In Pop" really looks like
It was on this date in 1996 that Jarvis Cocker had enough of Michael Jackson’s shit
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@okimstillhungry
She’s going to feel so silly when she realises she went on stage without any trousers on.
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Looking forward to hearing Brian Blessed as Lord Summerisle in this version of “The Wicker Man” out later today.
I hope he says “ROWAN’S ALIVE!!” at some point
#originalcontent
#thewickerman
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