Ashwin Rodrigues
@shwinyo
Followers
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Following
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writer. bylines on my cutting-edge website. email is best for contacting me. have fun out there
New York
Joined August 2009
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ارسنال
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ليفربول
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#ปิ่นภักดิ์EP13
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TLP LETS GET BACK TOGETHER
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Arsenal
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Tapper
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Palmer
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Liverpool
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Saka
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Diaz
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Ten Hag
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Manchester United
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比例復活
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Gomez
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Evo Morales
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Faker
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埼玉14区
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#ARSLIV
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Dalot
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Merino
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Michael Oliver
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Nunez
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West Ham
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Reece James
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Robertson
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#deprem
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Partey
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Ange
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Havertz
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Van Dijk
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Danilo
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#InterJuve
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JD Vance has the face of a man caught between eras. He looks like he wants to segregate a My Chemical Romance concert
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guy with 8 followers: Mr. Elon sir, have you thought about replacing all data centers with an electrochemical potato battery
Elon Musk: working on it now
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a Jewish guy in Brooklyn once politely asked me, an extremely sweaty post-soccer brown man, if I could go inside his apartment and flip a switch because it was Shabbat. I did it and he offered me a popsicle but I said no thanks. NYC baby
People told me to be careful walking around NYC as a religious Jew.
I say, here I am.
I will never cower in fear.
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We interviewed all the people who say "hey" on Slack and wait for you to say "hey" back before saying anything else. We asked them what the hell their problem was. They said "nm u"
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Podcast ads 10 years ago: Dear listener, everything is pretty good. A sock and underwear subscription, and you'll be complete. Also you can buy mattresses online now! Neat!
Today: Turns out gambling is your only chance to make it. Try computer therapy in the meantime. Gambling.
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the Olympics contains some of the purest, most essential sports like Running Real Fast but also Can You Train a Horse to Be Polite and, based on what I've seen on here, Looking Cool with a Gun
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@ScottNover
I didn't want to gloat but I guess I should be clear. everything you've said is true and that's how I ended up inventing the Metaverse.
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“AI” is often shorthand for A Indian guy
Amazon billed its "Just Walk Out" stores as some triumph of AI. In reality, it was powered by thousands of low-paid Indian workers manually adding up items in your cart as you shopped.
How insanely dystopian.
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wow! I am ready to hear more about the company CULTURE! haha. please
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the last president is recorded on film and phone calls saying “it’s crime time, I’m the president and we are gonna do crimes,” and he appears to have a robust campaign set up for his next election. which he is allowed to do for some reason
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Bill Ackman should just hop on a quick call with Isaac Chotiner and get this all squared away.
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Isaac Chotiner called just to wish me a happy Thanksgiving but we ended up chatting for 45 minutes. It was really cool, he seemed really impressed and interested in how I think.
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WELL this is an interesting development. that racism at prom story seems to be much more factually true than the New Yorker suggested, for one
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y'all. *please* hire someone who does crossfit and is also insane if you want to cover the MTG divorce properly.
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wow. my 3 year old, Glorm, just asked if regional banks are actually at risk or are they being used as a rhetorical human shield in a hostage situation to make VCs whole asap? can't make this up
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Ted Cruz used to seem like a smart guy pretending to be dumb but now it seems like he might've idiotpilled himself
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adding a "no journalists of color have ever left their spouse for Martin Shkreli" slide to my diversity training slide deck
Christie Smythe covered white-collar crime for Bloomberg News and lived "the perfect little Brooklyn life" with her husband. Then she threw it all away for one of her sources: infamous pharma bro Martin Shkreli.
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guy who died: I died. it's not fair that other people lived
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(Camera pans to a weird guy shoveling clam chowder into a dumpster.) Imagine if this was a bank. And also a hospital. Once Twitter is X, it will all be possible. If you don’t understand it you’re not smart enough.
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some people are misinterpreting this. to be clear, I think you can be a very special boy with very lovely ideas even with just 8 followers. you can also be bad at reading comprehension
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people might not be so cavalier about photoshopping Senator Sanders into different scenes if they realized each one creates a universe and duplicate Bernie who's trapped there
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The kids are calling it Chaiting. They publish whatever bullshit comes into their brain. Gets 'em high. And they get paid big bucks to do it.
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(weird college student coding a website that allows creeps to rank women based on their appearance) one day we will decide who lives.
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We must take a moment to step back and interrogate the systems which led to guys like Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson becoming popular.
(camera pans to Loser Factory running at full capacity)
stop this is serious
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Soon, pressing the "A" key will return a different letter. DMs will be public and Tweets will be private. We will set an angry dog loose in your apartment if we can find it. Our intern was forced to eat an AirTag.
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@joshgondelman
or you order it and then they ask you "what's on that again" like you're some kind of sandwich historian
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This is like the owner of AIM posting increasingly troubling away messages and everyone is just responding with the meanest things they can think of
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Holy cow! The Musk DeSantis Twitter Space had over 500 million American viewers, according to the engineer we asked while we dangled his family over the ledge of a building we don’t pay rent for.
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after my Twitter account that solely posts videos of me attempting to lick the tires of moving Teslas loses one follower: Mr. Musk. Please do something. It’s like I’m being killed by the Matrix
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love to send a fleet of submarines to look for a nickel
NYPD overtime pay for extra officers in the subway went from $4 million in 2022 to $155 million this year, according to city records obtained by Gothamist.
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a funny thing about this NYT story: there is no head-on photo of anyone wearing the Yeezy jacket. exhibit 2 is probably why
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imagine if RFK Jr. became president and the first thing he said during the inauguration was "the Worm in my brain is awake now." that would be interesting, but we don't know if the worm shares any values with the American people
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telling people you heard something stupid on the Bill Maher podcast is like saying you sprained your ankle rolling around in a landfill. ok, but what were you doing there?
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pitbull sleeping with a brick sounds like a big body bes mantra
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Attention freelancers: I'm looking for 200-500k words (plus illustrations) reimagining the Bible as an anime-style graphic novel. If we like your work, we will provide you a coupon for 3 (three) canned Goya products and a hat.
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some conservatives are still trying the "Be Scared: If It Could Happen to Them It Could Happen to You" bit, while reacting to news of a guy who called a mass shooting a hoax and ruined the lives of surviving family members. I'm not a pundit but I don't know if that's relatable
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There was another author who saved her secrets for a book. There actually was a whole chamber of them. And now that author is now widely reviled.
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There’s a weird glitch on Twitter right now: if you put “single and open to new experiences” in the bio, your wife gets really mad
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Did You Know: The guy with (Alpha Male) in his user name who keeps popping up on here is Australian
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@KeenanPeachy
C student POC kids. they sound real and scary. but not if you sing it to the tune of "More Than a Feeling"
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guy whose whole account has been daily photos of his feet on different pizzas for 9 years: folks I’m not sure how much longer they’ll let me be on this site
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well, VICE has decided to be one Indian lighter. today's my last day.
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@bigblackjacobin
his thread starts like it might be some kind of IDW antivax mind puzzle instead of solid proof that he's unqualified to talk about everything he talks about
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@KrangTNelson
Musk replying to a white nationalist meme: 🎯
Twitter CEO: Barbie or Bomb Man? On our platform, they’re both winners!
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when Beyoncé said "it must be the cash cuz it ain't your face" Jay Z must've been like, hey now. you don't mean that. must be a lot of situations like that in their household
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a lot of people are missing the point here: if you stare at the middle of the photo for long enough, you can see their common ancestor (the guy from the Six Flags commercial)
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I wonder if these metaverses will ever look good or if people will just mentally deteriorate until they're convinced it looks cool. both seem like possibilities
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crypto guys constantly have to go in front of lawyers and say things like "imagine, for a moment, a widget. or a tiddlywink."
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As a society, we need to get better at identifying objects.
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RFK Jr. is like a creation of Jack Handey: eating roadkill, framing cyclists for bear murder, covered in bugs, and yet seemingly unaware what all the fuss is about
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@david_j_roth
Biden toppled me with a flying two leg kick while I was using the Coinstar kiosk. every Liberal who saw this happen just laughed at me and did more inflation
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“if you’re scared, it’s murder time. and there are plenty of reasons to be scared” is not working out as an operating principle
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On average, New Yorkers that slept with their windows open last night swallowed 3 spiders who were also smoking cigarettes. Cool ass spiders who also have tattoos of other bugs smoking cigarettes. “Pretty sick, but still not great,” say scientists
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therapist: I think this behavior is socially stunting
patient, misunderstanding: hell yeah player. you see it
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if a movie is longer than 2.5 hours, there should be a legally required scene in the middle where one of the guys says "I'm gonna go to the bathroom for 15 minutes or so" and they just show the bathroom door, so you know you won't miss anything if you also go to the bathroom
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@jordanbpeterson
The woke tyrants don't realize the horrors visited by an all-meat diet on a brave man's body. They have never dropped a screamer and they are willfully avoiding such a scenario.
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amazing. he continued "maybe if these regional banks also have huge unhedged bets on interest rates and a majority of their customer base in a group chat with Peter Thiel. goo goo ga ga"
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I’m honestly confused how young people could feel despair at a time when the hottest real estate market is in the metaverse. Can’t square that circle
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someone needs to be brave enough to drive to their vacation home, turn off the Wi-Fi, and write 15,000 words on the Exact Right Way to Protest
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@DawnEMcKenzie
that’s so cool that Scott Baio follows you. I hope you have that on your resume
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it did seem like many people reacted to the original Hasan Minhaj story with something like "good, I didn't like his comedy" so will be interesting how this is digested. but maybe later. although entertainment reporters aren't war reporters so I guess soon is good too
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first of all it's not a divorce, it's a "kipping marriage"
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One of the most encouraging things you can say to someone who just ran a half-marathon is “oh yeah I also haven’t run a marathon”
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@DragonflyJonez
if you didn't listen to the album through a gaming headset without skipping any tracks you're not going to understand the lyricism. smh
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this is conflating two things, one of which is real:
1. aside from sports, appointment TV doesn’t really exist
2. if you date a teenager as a 39-year-old, people don’t give a shit how astute your grocery store observations are
Jerry Seinfeld says TV comedy is being hurt by "the extreme left and P.C. crap, and people worrying so much about offending other people."
“It used to be, you would go home at the end of the day, most people would go, ‘Oh, “Cheers” is on. Oh, “MASH” is on. Oh, “Mary Tyler Moore”
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first day as a business reporter for
@morningbrew
. really excited to join the team here. physically I'm in my apartment but you know what I mean
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I thought this was morally rotten but then I saw the graph is green. phew.
The CEO of Kellogg is happy to say that more people are eating cereal for dinner.
In fact, the company is leaning into it and intentionally advertising about cereal as a dinner meal for cash-strapped families.
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Tucker Carlson tilting his head back and forth like a dog hearing the words "walk" and "park" as the world's most brilliant man explains how to build The AI That's Nice to Us
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kanye played Sim City, Pokemon, and Monopoly in one night
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people are snitching on this person’s employer because of a funny and accurate description of the VP (who is my aunt btw) it’s pathetic to see
Kamala Harris talks like she has a translator earpiece on and it has water damage
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@mathewrodriguez
Interviewer, to camera: Well, there you have it. I think we all learned something today. Is there going to be racism tomorrow? Tune in to find out.
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if this guy starts a thread on your crime and policing story, your shit is about to get wrecked
THREAD. This morning, the New York Times published another piece of copaganda that makes provably false claims. I try my best to explain what happened below, why it is harmful, and how it connects to deeper flaws in how the news talks about safety.
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what if people make fun of Google search sucking ass too much so the next time you punch in directions on Maps it just says "fuck you." I am doing my part and searching "good job" and "very nice, thanks!" repeatedly for the rest of the weekend
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