mrs uncle
@seanakthstewart
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me and my circle are ‘getting a good handle on things’ and ‘sorting out what’s what’
trano
Joined July 2009
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“checking in” on your friends doesn’t always have to be outright asking about the state of their well-being.
“hey this reminded me of you”
“what are you up to this weekend?”
“i miss you!”
are all perfectly easy ways of letting your loved ones know you’re present in their lives.
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in honour of bojack horseman being over may i present: the funniest visual joke i have ever seen in my life
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this is how i pictured those nsssa conferences everyone went to in high school
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bobs burgers is honestly such a wholesome, unproblematic, genuinely funny show and im so glad to exist at the same time as it
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why would i quit x dot com when i can read the worst thing ive ever laid eyes on before 8am
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me: communication is key !!!
also me: refuses to admit my feelings are hurt and lashes out passive aggressively for weeks
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canada’s drag race is innovative in the sense that they gave the judges the villain edit
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twitter discourse mostly seems like 16-20yr olds forming early, well-intentioned but misguided opinions for the first time, and then adults getting exorbitantly angry that their takes don’t have the nuance of lived experience
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@VlRTUALBOY
i have been listening to this song for ten years and still …. still it blows me away it’s unbelievable
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AND rent due ... like pick one
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the sexual tension between me and all the other women in the men’s section at value village
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troy and gabriella were boring locals and sharpay was destined for greatness we been knew
Troy was a vanilla ass bitch who couldn't handle Sharpay's big dick energy and that's the tea for today laid ease
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me, texting my fiancé the night before our wedding: hey!!! sorry to bother u just checking if ur still coming tmrw?? ☺️☺️
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@RileyJo98906226
@elijahdaniel
@tacobell
how the fuck is saying “black lives matter” a personal agenda!???? peoples lives aren’t fucking politics i’m???
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@deprive
the fact that this girl is only 5 years older than me and has two kids makes me wanna fling myself into the void
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WHY DO BOYS ONLY ANSWER THE LAST QUESTION U SENT THEM WHEN THERES LIKE THREE QUESTIONS
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ok jessica lange doing coke in a nightgown and sucking the youth out of men is a whole ass mood
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i scammed a boy on tinder into thinking he was paying for my uber to his apartment but rly i bought myself chinese food
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i want to know the science behind why literally every girl is beautiful but almost every guy looks like a wet noodle
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@xdamisi
like how are u in AA and getting grounded by your mom too ?? pick a struggle dkfkrkdkd
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me, 5 minutes after waking up: how am i going to decide to hurt my own feelings today!
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“getting help” isn’t easy.
“getting help” isn’t ..... helpful.
getting help is swallowing your pride to rehash the same trauma to any random person they stick in front of you.
getting help is staring at a blank wall for hours until someone will talk to you
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no tea no shade but don't say u support people with mental illness if u abandon them when they show signs of mental illness :)))
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the term “two spirited” was created for indigenous individuals to claim back terminology and identities that they were stripped of during assimilation :) ur just bisexual bro
Jason Mraz opens up about his sexuality to
@billboard
.
“I’ve had experiences with men, even while I was dating the woman who became my wife. It was like, ‘Wow, does that mean I am gay?’ And my wife laid it out for me. She calls it ‘two spirit’.”
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STRAIGHT TINDER DRINKING GAME
take a shot each time u see...
-laid back
-adventurous
-here for fun
-just a nice guy
-i don't bite
-musician
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this shit ain’t artsy it’s exploitative and gross :/ let miss houston rest in peace jfc
So this is the “Daytona” album cover that Ye had to pay $85K for.
It’s Whitney Houston’s bathroom after a drug binge.
Kanye is just...weird man.
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once my gay coworker found out i was gay too she immediately started dropping shit and getting tongue tied .... my top energy is getting stronger 😌✨
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good morning i regret to inform u all it’s now scorpio season .... thoughts & prayers during these troubled times
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“you’re really charging $12 for a salad!?” the boomer asks me, the server, who has zero input on anything at all. i cringe as i swipe her gold amex card, and notice her benz keys on the table. anyways can’t wait to have cereal for dinner tonight haha happy friday everyone :)
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from the azealia banks school of prose … a protege emerges
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@otreboraleman
"i'm being a piece of shit and people are calling me out for it" starter pack lol
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this plumber rly in my kitchen grunting and cursing ...... sir...
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this girl has posted the same selfie every day for 4 days on snapchat so i messaged and asked why and she said “cause i look good”.... queen
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people who use facebook stories are on a whole other tier of local
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pete davidson and ariana grande are the only celebrity couple i care about
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seasonal depression and a ceiling flood rly came for me buts april now and i feel alive uwu
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me: walking normally
my body dysmorphia: u look like this
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i applied to a program i never thought i would get into on a whim when i was so depressed i didn’t have anything to lose and today i received my acceptance letter and i’ve never been so fucking excited for anything
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my libra venus ass trying to force myself into casual hookups with people i have no interest in
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don’t tell me u like tha way my back arch when u kno damn well i got scoliosis
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petition for monet and monique to have their own spin-off home makeover show
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i don’t post abt my sex life rly but i just got my fucking pussy ate to lana del rey so i’m unstoppable until further notice thanks
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this morning i tried to *meditate* and focus on positive things and came to appreciate my physical health despite my mental health not being great
it’s about 12 hours later and i now have a fever of 102 i give up
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hi i feel bad about myself but if i can show off my chubby legs so can u :')
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i'm telling u men prove every day that girls fucking girls is the new wave
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im TIRED of straight men!!
no aesthetic!
bad jokes!
always musty!
badly dressed!
trash references!
T I R E D
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i want an 8 litre jug of water with a straw above my bed like i’m a hamster in a cage
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“bro i was so high i watched two episodes of parks and rec before i realized it wasn’t the office”
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i finally got my second tattoo and im SO excited tbh
tw for self harm scars💓
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vice articles be like :
how a diet of nothing but KOMBUCHA and POPPERS helped me achieve inner peace (and get laid... a lot ;))
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if i hadn’t done the whole neolib sjw thing in my late teens/early twenties, i doubt i would have the moral and political beliefs i do now. i’m wary of berating sensitivity, especially among young women who are in the process of defining what their autonomy looks like for them
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the length of ariana grande’s album is the exact amount of time it takes me to beat my face ..... a gift
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📍”north american” tours
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📍the entirety of canada |
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📍toronto
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bpd culture is just fighting the urge to scream "DO I EVEN FUCKIN MATTER TO U" at literally everyone u know all the time
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category is.... performative liberalism!
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snorting coke through takis with a tattoo of a dick on ur finger....... my aesthetic
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i started 2017 with my mental health at an all time low, not in school, unemployed and in and out of hospitals because of suicide attempts
i’m starting 2018 with a 3.9 GPA, first semester of uni under my belt, a job i love and healthily off my medication ....
wow :’)
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my 3 in 1 dusty ass followers better take notes !!!!!!
for Men, a BHA, Retinol, and Vitamin C product should always be apart of your routine. Men’s skin can tends to be thicker and oiler than women. a BHA and Retinol will just refine the texture beautifully. especially if you shave. + vitamin c will help even the tone.
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me at 7: boys r fucking gross
me at 15: if i’m not married to a man by 23 i’m fuCKING KILLING myself
me at 20: boys r fucking gross
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unless ur gonna write ur credit card info on ur dick... i don't want a picture of it
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someone could literally write me a 10 page love letter with a fucking quill and ink and id still be like “oh what a nice friendly gesture! so nice. anyways, i’m still alone”
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ABUSE ISNT A FUCKING “MISTAKE”
HE DIDN’T “JUST MAKE A MISTAKE”
HE HAS TRAUMATIZED PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO LIVE WITH THAT FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES
FUCKCING CHRIST
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road trips get me SO hype like ??? highways ?? gas stations ?? uncomfortable half-asleep naps that lead to neck cramps ?? YES bitch !
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this is such a basic ass tweet but i love the sound of rain at night so much ... like cozy tucked in bed ?? bitch?? that's good shit
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the “at least we’re not america” narrative when discussing canadian history is so blatantly disrespectful to our history of indigenous genocide. our indigenous population is still suffering the aftermaths of colonization and until they are free we are NOT “strong and free”
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i hate when restaurants name their food dumbass shit and when u order u gotta say u want a bonanza banana or some shit n look like a fool
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have u considered they're scared cause ur abusive trash or ..
If u can't look me in my eyes when u talk to me, you scared or have something to hide.
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