Schneath Johnson
@schneathjohnson
Followers
414
Following
2K
Media
167
Statuses
664
Mexican Roofer. Clucker Enthusiast. Gerrymandering Advocate. Student of Sudoku. Gupta Ally.
Joined August 2016
Peter tags on the keychain could be a game changer
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I’m not sure Dayton Twitter has acknowledged how good of a defender Javvon Bennet is. Kid is locks.
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5.5 Million people saw my immaculate piss stream yesterday. Today I got up and got right back to slingin shingles with mi amigos. Fame won’t change me. This hard work is something you gringos just wouldn’t understand.
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4 hours to go…. The silence is LOWD. Need Blue Beer ASAP
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It’s a good thing this bad boy fits me, cuz I definitely wouldn’t be able to return it after getting a little too excited upon opening it (emoji covering stains)
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Missed my first ever flight this morning. Not sure what to do about it so just pounding espresso martinis I guess
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I can’t stand when people compliment the Peter Millar I’m wearing. You shouldn’t be impressed by this buddy. It’s the standard.
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“Sir are you drinking while driving?”. “Officer, it’s a Spotted Cow”. “Have a nice rest of your evening”
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Can’t wait to blow my children’s private school tuition fund on some Peter this weekend. Hope you enjoy public school little Jimmy, at least your pops was dripped for white boy summer.
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Double #CluckerThursday to send us out!!. Holy shit these Johnson’s were fucking incredible. Couldn’t have asked for a better way to go out. Thank you Gupta!!!!!! 🥲🤝
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I think I’m addicted to porn. Porn myself a cold glass of milk.
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20 mins before gametime and the 400’s are packed!!! The real ones don’t care if we’re ranked or not ✊🏾
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I probably spend 4-5 hours a week scanning FB marketplace for cheap Peter. Typically I have no luck. Today I got an all time lick. $50 for 3 of these Johnsons 😎
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Went to the PGA Championship today and @michaelblockpga pulled me aside to ask for a hog reveal. I told him maybe after he wins on Sunday. We settled for a picture at least.
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Professor gonna mistake me for Tyler Kolek after that quiz performance.
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Anytime I want more Peter I just quote my roofing jobs for $150 more than usual. Boom. Free Peter.
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Schneath got a little older today. No better way to celebrate than some manual labor followed by some Modelos.
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The corporate office outfit girls on tiktok would tell you that this is a great look for your QBR
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No I’m not doing a “hog reveal” at 60 followers. Stop asking.
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Are you kidding me?!. The toppings are flying off this johnson!. Now that’s a Clucker. Happy #CluckerThursday to all who celebrate
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Just wanna be 17 vizzys deep on the pool deck already.
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Wearing Red ✅. Drinking Red ✅. Being LOWD ✅. Gametime. Hum now Flyers.
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Exams successfully failed. Time to have a beer or two(wenty).
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After drinking for 4 days straight and feeling like absolute shit afterwards, I gained a lot of respect for alcoholics. They really be built different.
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Lemonade tequila no ice. It all makes sense. @barseatsports @kobybrea @KobeElvis @DaRonagon @enochcheeks @n_santos33 @JuiceCrewMali
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I feel bad for basketball players like Kobe Elvis who go to Tims to get some ass but end up getting yapped at by idiots like me as to why the Oklahoma Sooners should rename to the Oklahoma Boners (I think it’s a great idea).
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Thursday AM noise complaint the way it be LOWD up in here
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Don’t let the debate distract you from these sexy Johnsons that Schneath got in the mail today. Thank you for the recommendation, burnerverse.
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There’s no way the left is able to enjoy the rest of their day after seeing this
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Holy fuck shoutout Cousin Vinnys for the bomb ass za. That’s my cuz 😎😎
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@DavidPJablonski Brea: 1/4.Santos: 0/4.Bennett: 1/3.Elvis: 2/4.Cheeks: 2/3.Marvel: 2/3.Team total: 8/21 (38%). Analysis: Dayton wins tomorrow.
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The day I get married, the birth of my first child, etc. Nothing will beat this night. 7 voodoos deep, unspeakable zyns in, nothing compares to a steady drizzle night at the Red Rocks with Mt. Joy going nuts. Unreal. #America.
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🚨 EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨. Tomorrow (April 25th) has been declared National Clucker Day!!!. Celebrate accordingly! Don’t forget to thank Gupta for his incredible service throughout the years 🫡.
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Going to a school like Dayton is a curse and a blessing. You aren’t getting any Lily Lang looking girls. But at least they haven’t been ran through by 30 of your amigos.
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Having drinks you’ve never heard of in places you’ve never been
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I’m backkkkkkkkkkk. Woke up this morning and realized I don’t rly fuck with censorship. Let the opps come after me…I know a guy 😹. Wearing Red. Being LOWD.
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1 Schneath Special, extra cheese sauce por favor. Never let the Modelo get half empty without another one on the way. Gracias.
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DOUBLE CLUCKER THURSDAY. The Clucker just gets better every time you have one so you know I had to get anotha one. Gupta continues to bring his A game. #CluckerThursday
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Not only did Cam Young shoot 59 today. But he did it wearing Peter Millar head to toe. That’s special.
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Schneath’s Friday Morning Routine. 11:18 - Wake up.11:19 - Take a shit.11:20 - Get out of bed.11:25 - Coffee.11:30 - Sudoku.11:52 - Smash computer cuz I suck at sudoku.11:57 - Apply for a Marycrest dishwasher job so I can pay for a new computer.12:03 - Play sudoku on my phone.
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There’s no words I can use to describe this sandwich. 2 weeks ago I had the worst Clucker of my life. It was so bad I had to take last week off to regroup myself. This afternoon I indulged in the greatest Clucker to date! Just so good in so many ways. #CluckerThursday
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In-flight Voodoo was unbelievable. Sydney Sweeney movie was gas. Couldn’t be more ready. (I’m horny)
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If you’re drinking anything other than a tequila lemonade no ice tonight then you have no right to cheer for Daron when his name is called.
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In buttfuck middle of nowhere Arkansas drinking Modelo on the streets and pissing in sexy alleys
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One of the fellas caught me and the amigos in the middle of a job today. I think this was our 5th or 6th roof we put up today, I kinda forget cuz we do so many.
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Been contemplating future careers for a while. The leading one right now is joining a Mexican roofing company and just going ham on the shingles all day then tossing back Modelos with the boys 5 days a week over some fire music as they talk about nonsense in Spanish.
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Random dude just passed me this at the pregame. Is he trying to say something?
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