I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids.

RT @RodLacroix: Just got loan approval for a half-dozen eggs.

RT @RodLacroix: Child: I can't wait to be an adult. Me [gesturing at everything]: WHY

RT @LurkAtHomeMom: If anyone’s missing a pair of scissors, I found them all in my daughter’s room.

RT @KatieDeal99: Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate?? Asking for my cat.

RT @Parkerlawyer: My children are 26, 23, 21, and 15. I also have 3 bonus kids 27, 24, and 23. No less than twice a day, every single day,…

RT @Parkerlawyer: Watching my little shows sitting on my little couch snuggling with my little dog drinking my little wine is a truly under…

RT @HenpeckedHal: Scroll…scroll…accidental click on temu ad…scroll…scroll…accidental click on temu ad…

RT @LurkAtHomeMom: Pretty ridiculous how we’re all just expected to wake up every day.

RT @RodLacroix: In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

RT @oneawkwardmom: Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy

RT @TheBoydP: Can’t, I’m in big trouble with the wife. I defrosted the frozen pizza before I put it in the oven.

If you don't call your child by the wrong name multiple times in a row, are you really even a parent?

All of our kids are not home tonight & what do my husband & I do? Go to Costco.

If you're curious about marriage after 20 years, my husband just texted me from downstairs to tell me he sent me an email.

Drinking a glass of wine out in the garage to escape your family for a few minutes or an hour is pretty normal, right? Asking for a friend.

RT @LurkAtHomeMom: PlayStation is down so it looks like my kids will have to go outsi- oh nevermind they found a different screen to play w…

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone & order take out.

What I said: HURRY UP! WE’RE LATE! What my kids heard: Nothing. Because kids don't listen.

My son was telling me about a math test that he bombed & said that 70% of the class bombed it, too. My response: “You just failed a math test. I’m pretty sure that percentage is wrong, too.”

*texting* Husband: I have a surprise for you. Me: Really? Husband: The store finally has eggs! And that’s 26 years of marriage for you.