Sarah Millican
@SarahMillican75
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ON TOUR NOW. New Special via Comedian, Standard Issue pod, Feminist. Tweets ending TEAMSM/TSM are by my team.Agent: Chambers
On tour!
Joined February 2009
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15 years ago today I won the Newcomer award at the Edinburgh fringe. I won £5K and paid it off my car loan. I had excellent friends with me whose faces I had to check in case I’d heard the announcement wrong. I ran into the street to get signal to ring my then boyfriend now
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13 years ago today, I won the Newcomer award at the Edinburgh fringe and paid my car loan off with the prize. This is me just after winning.I was giddy. I’d just met Clive James too.I still remember my speech. I remember it feeling like confirmation that I was on the right track.
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Worried about being alone or lonely this Christmas Day? Then stick with us on Twitter and
#JoinIn
. I’ll post up more info closer to the day but we’ll all be here to keep you company. Please RT and spread the word.
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Bought my friend’s daughter a ‘Period Starter Kit’.
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This is what 49 looks like. (Happy Birthday to me)
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This is what 48 looks like. Happy birthday to me. 🎂
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My husband sent me a photo of the tea he just made and I’ve told him not to come home.
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Hugs to those who find Father's Day a struggle. Whether you don't get on, he's no longer here or whatever your story, I'm sending love xxx
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Well done to everyone who finds Christmas Day tricky. You did it! You got through it! Thanks to everyone who interacted on the
#JoinIn
hashtag. You’re all absolute smashers. Much love. ❤️
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The thing that impresses me most about cooking programmes is that their baking trays are clean at the start rather than black with burnt on dinners of the past.
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Reminder that if you would like some company on Christmas Day, we will be here chatting all day. Follow me or use the
#JoinIn
hashtag and I’ll see you there.
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I’ve cried so much I’m dehydrated and I’ve just voted 3 times for each pair. I’m calling it a draw.
@bbcstrictly
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Tried olives again yesterday. Still horrible. Like the world’s shittest grape.
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I think it’s time we updated the lady on the Sanny bag. Consider this my audition.
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Hugs to those who find Father’s Day a
struggle. Whether you don't get on, he's
no longer here, you can't be with him or
whatever your story, I'm sending love xxx
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For anyone who wants some company on Christmas Day, remember
#JoinIn
will be taking place on here. Whether you’re alone and wish you weren’t or with people but lonely, we will be here to chat to. Who’s joining in this year?
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Still haven’t acclimatised to being in the US. Ordered burger and chips from room service. 🤦🏻♀️
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Hugs to those who find Mother's Day a
struggle. Whether you don't get on, she's
no longer here, you can't be with her or
whatever your story, I'm sending love xxx
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Good morning good people of Twitter. I’m awake and I’ve put clean pyjamas on. Who needs chats?
#JoinIn
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For those starting their Christmas Day earlier than in the UK, here is the info you need.
#JoinIn
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I had to tell my husband yesterday that his single man towels (one Elvis, one Aston Villa, both crispy to the touch) had gone to live on a farm.
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I’m guessing the lady who said it wouldn’t drop any needles was lying then.
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Happy birthday
@kylieminogue
. Without her how would little me have told a hairdresser what I wanted my perm to look like.
By the way, Kylie is on the left.
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Our portion sizes have been skewed by Christmas. I asked my husband for banana and custard and he filled a pasta bowl with it.
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Small announcement. My absolutely wonderful audiences members have donated a staggering £69,000 to
@samaritans
at my 2021 shows. Thank you thank you thank you.
#JoinIn
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My new rose bush is thriving. It was in the sort of Woops section of the garden centre and looking a bit sad. The colour is so beautiful. My rescue rose makes me happy.
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Got off the sofa to go to bed last night and found biscuit on my tit.
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Reminder that if you’d like some company on Christmas Day,
#JoinIn
will be going ahead on here as usual. So if you’re feeling lonely or are alone & wish you weren’t, we’ll be here for chats. Just follow me and I’ll let you know how it works.
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I adore
@SusanCalman
and always have. A 20 year friendship that I cherish so much. So glad our diaries allowed a proper good catch up and a bloody good laugh. ❤️❤️
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Hugs to those who find Mother's Day a
struggle. Whether you don't get on, she's
no longer here, you can't be with her or
whatever your story, I'm sending love xxx
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I’m sure Glastonbury is amazing but I’ve just paused Celebrity Gogglebox to put some oven chips in and have a wee on a clean toilet.
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Bought myself a new bikini. I am now beach body ready.
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I made jam yesterday. Plum jam from plums in our garden. Making things gives the best feelings: pride and smugness. And I’ve said ‘I made jam’ about 10 times so far. Sometimes to no-one.
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Happy Valentine’s Day you bunch of absolute smashers. Love comes in all forms. For example, I just gave a card to the biscuit tin.
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Hugs to those who find Father's Day a struggle. Whether you don't get on, he's no longer here, you can't be with him or
whatever your story, I'm sending love xxx
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Just had a wonderful first gig back after 14 months. Thank you so very much to all the staff at the Junction in Cambridge and everyone in my audience tonight. You were amazing. Loved it.
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Thanks for all of the lovely comments about
@taskmaster
. I loved every moment of it. Massive thanks to my fellow contestants, to Greg and Alex and the whole wonderful team.
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Does anyone else have loads of photos in their photo like this to help them find their car?
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Hugs to those who find Father’s Day a struggle. Whether you don’t get on, he’s no longer here or whatever your story, I’m sending love. xxx
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Hugs to those who find Mother's Day a struggle. Whether you don't get on, she's no longer here, you can't be with her or
whatever your story, I'm sending love xxx
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I went on holiday with Sandi Toksvig and you can watch what happened tonight on Ch4 at 9pm
#ExtraordinaryEscapes
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If you want to company on Christmas Day, stick with me and all the smashers on the
#JoinIn
hashtag.
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Just had a bloody lovely time on QI. I’ll let you know when it’s on telly.
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#JoinIn
is currently trending no.1 in the UK over Santa and Happy Xmas. Well done everyone on spreading the word far and wide and helping others. Truly the spirit of Christmas. ❤️
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Post smear test chocolate pudding. Because it’s nice to treat yourself when you’ve been a good girl.
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I love this woman so very much and I think it shows. Always a pleasure to see
@SusanCalman
.
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Happy Birthday to my wonderful, funny, gorgeous man
@GaryDelaney
. A day of meat and naps awaits. (Also he’s on tour very soon and he’s hilarious )
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When I watch Masterchef I’m reminded of the time we had to make a breakfast in home economics and while kids were frying eggs and cooking sausages, I poured Frosties and milk in a bowl and sat back, done.
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Current total that my glorious audiences have donated to
@samaritans
on the Late Bloomer tour. A massive thank you to everyone: audiences and volunteers. So much love to you all. So much good you’re doing.
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Because
#JoinIn
is international, here is the info if you’re not in the UK and your Christmas Day has already started.
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Pain au chocolat in the bath. The height of luxury. What is your ridiculous treat?
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Today is my 19th comedy anniversary. What a joy to be still loving it. This is me aged 29 about a month in, with comfort notes in my hand. New tour starts on Wednesday.
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I made sandwiches to take to the cinema today in case you were wondering how old I am.
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Happy Strictly final and opening Quality Street time.
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I keep asking questions during the match. Was thinking changing ends in the interval will take ages until Gary pointed out it’s the players not the crowd.
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I'm not normally one for public grief but I lost a very dear friend recently and I need to go to the funeral. It's abroad so this sadly means I need to reschedule two shows - Stockton on 29th October 2023 and Portsmouth on 2nd November 2023
The new dates are Stockton - Sun 19th
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Hey Toastie Gang, you are witnessing my first ever Roastie Toastie. Leftovers from yesterday’s roast dinner in a toastie. And yes, YES, that is a cup of fucking gravy to dip it in.
#mytoastieadventure
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Thank you for the lovely messages re tonight’s Taskmaster. I will never be able to watch it. Hair and make up by the wonderful Francesca Jordan, earrings by
@iamacrylic
, dress by
@shopzuri
and boots by
@PaversShoes
.
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Just did a really cheeky thing. I was in Waterstones in Manchester browsing the books when my own book caught my eye. I was surprised to see it on a table as it’s been out a while. So I signed all of the copies. Because I’m me, I asked a nice staff member permission and she 1/2
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stuck ‘Signed by the author’ stickers on them. I’ve never done this. Never had the confidence but I’m so glad I did it. So if you live in Manchester and fancy buying my book, there are a few signed copies on this table labelled ‘Essential Biographies’. ❤️ 2/2
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Does anyone else shove a Yorkshire pudding on top of any dinner?
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Oh Perth you are a flirt. Went for a plodge* today.
*North Eastern term for paddle
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Merry Christmas to you all. Thanks for your support all year. Hope you have a good Christmas and all the best for 2024.
Little reminder that I’m not running
#JoinIn
any more on here. So please take care of yourselves.
Also, my team are now on their Christmas break so your
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Very giddy that I’m on the new series of
@taskmaster
that starts tonight on Channel 4 at 9pm. I really hope you enjoy it.
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It’s been a while due to lots of things but just went for a run and am enjoying the post run smugness. And no, I’m not doing Couch to 5K and yes, I have done it.
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This week I held a koala and fed a kangaroo. Both bucket list things for me. Seeing as I’ve already bottle fed lambs, the last thing on my list is just to befriend Tom Hanks.
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@georgie_grier
Totally fine. And normal. Dara is right. Well done on having the bottle to do it. Feel proud. X
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Hey New Zealand! I have questions. Why does peaches have an apostrophe? Why is it in the wrong place? And is it supposed to look like Jizz? (It looks like Jizz)
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Thrilled that so far on this tour my incredible audiences have donated £150,012.48 to Samaritans. Thank you so so much.
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Thanks to my amazing audiences, we’ve raised over £125K on this tour so far for the
@samaritans
. Incredible work. Thanks to everyone who has collected and donated. 💚💚💚💚
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A massive thank you to all who’ve supported me, seen me on tour, watched me on telly this year and huge thanks to my fantastic team who make it all possible. Huge love to my family, pals, glorious husband and wonderful furry bairns. Wishing you all a bloody lush 2023.
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Sat in front of a dressing room mirror, just realised I’ve never watched myself eat corn on the cob before. It’s awful.
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Tess and Claudia are doing such great work. How they aren’t crying constantly, I don’t know.
@bbcstrictly
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