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Sam Profile
Sam

@samuel_lanier

Followers
7,419
Following
1,324
Media
537
Statuses
5,520
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
I hope the vaccine is a gummy
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m’lady
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Don’t be afraid to go outside raw. No wallet. No phone. Your friends paying for everything and yelling at you to stay nearby
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Objective: Get to bathroom without engaging Boyfriend’s roommates
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snow storms are a great time for men to go on little missions
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@samuel_lanier
Sam
11 months
How my friends talk at the beach
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if there is something in your ass you can’t be the president
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Leonardo DiCaprio should date BABY YODA!
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I hope the booster is a gummy
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Roommate forced to listen to conversation
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this tweet is connecting with the crazy mofo community
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i’m the Michael Jordan of being in my room
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congrats to my sister on getting into med school!
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My roommate is a Mukbang Youtuber
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Roommates
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@samuel_lanier
Sam
5 months
My friends and I have a bookclub, but for Youtube videos. This month is "NBA dunks that get increasingly more disrespectful." Will is baking lemon squares
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in my world these shapes are very usual
@Nature_Is_Lit
Nature is Lit
2 years
🔥 Strong winds create unusual shapes in the frozen sand alongside Lake Michigan
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A canvaser comes over
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They should make a 'find my iPhone' feature but for one of these
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POV: I see you at a party and come over to do a high concept riff
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check this out
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the only place I keep my money
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to understand what your friend is going through, i recommend interacting with all the audio logs and diary entries scattered throughout their environment. They’ll tell a rich backstory
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Sarah tries to bum a cig in line for the club
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another $200 spent on hinge roses 🤞🤞🤞
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Arriving late to a job interview and hitting em with a "A wizard is never late. Nor is he early"
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doing and escape the room with my coworkers and immediately cutting my legs off like it’s saw
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I’m ride or die bro
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Roommates get locked out of the apartment
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When boys try to move furniture
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@samuel_lanier
Sam
11 months
Something strange is happening at the beach
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Why did they name the storm after my friend Ian, who is nice
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@carosnake
out of context caro yost
1 year
I got a Tesla!!!!!!
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The roommates go clubbing
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@samuel_lanier
Sam
10 months
Talking about SSRIs at the beach
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it’s hard making OnlyFans content
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Felipe’s insane friend crashes on the couch
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Some lobsters get lost in the house
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men’s clothing ads are always like “finally, a T-shirt that’s comfortable”
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guy who wants to let you know he went out last night
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always pay for dating apps. Half your income should go to Hinge roses
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@MrIanLockwood this is my mom!
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hey feel free to riff on what type of gummy it would be. Some people have even been saying things besides a gummy. all are good options for the riff
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Now the roommates hit the road
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When your friend asks what kind of mixed drink you like
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My friend Will Niedmann told me recently that coarse ground coffee has more surface area that fine ground coffee (so its better for french press). This doesn't make sense if you think about it for even a second and is a good example of how friends can lie to you
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@TannerPowell yup! this is my dad
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A roommate gets some DAP. Voice over by @FelipeDiPoi and music by @KyleRodrgzMusic
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Nancy Pelosi. Come to my apartment. you will be safe.
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@samuel_lanier
Sam
8 months
This is my favorite sketch we did this year. It’s relevant, timely, left-of-center, punches up instead of down
@Simple__Town
Simple Town
8 months
Basically it’s an apartment on the moon
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When the doorbell rings at night
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My roommate is a Mukbang Youtuber
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I hope the vaccine is a gummy
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Having sex in my bedroom, sticky notes on my wall like: “Standup” “Solo vids” “Sketch packet” “Reach our to people I admire” “Festivals”
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there’ll be a nice big package in your apartment building but then it will be for Dan
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let’s get together and eat this thing
@WaterlsScary
Scary Underwater
1 year
Giant Squid makes an appearance in Tokyo Bay
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I learned how to animate so I could help famous people tell their stories of the times they did acid
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taking a hit from a bong and then eating a meatball before I exhale
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For my roommates, I have set the perfect trap. It’s the Tupperware shelf. Move anything an inch and the whole thing will fall.
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So many talented and beautiful women in this sexual harassment training video
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my roommate is using environmental story telling to tell me a story about how he can’t do the dishes
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The roommates find a poster on the street
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Zack discovers the apartment is burnt but the others don’t notice
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talking politics with my father in a heart shaped jacuzzi
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The roommates go clubbing (part II)
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really funny 20 min vid i want to show u man. Where are u man? Man? ah there u are. hiding behind the couch. Come on out. I’m gunna show u this video
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When the booster hit
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movies where animals talk should be rated R
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Final eps of DAP are out now on adult swim! Link in bio to watch
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POV: you just entered the riff zone
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Has this ever happened to you?
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brittish people will name their kid Lawrence Of Arabia
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Pete Buttigieg has a stand up comedian avi
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I’m thinkin there’s still a million more queens out there
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I cried to God, “make me epic” and he heard my prayers
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The roommates get to the club (part 1)
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inside of every man’s head is a little video he wants to make
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@samuel_lanier
Sam
11 months
What’s your favorite part of the beach?
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The most important thing Biden can do in his first 100 days is act like a sponge. Learn. Soak up the culture and ask questions.
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I no longer hope the vaccine is a gummy
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these are the theater kids of the army
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Boston is exactly like New York City
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I don’t care if Bryan Fiddyment, Charlie, and 11 others liked your post.
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Don’t ever jack off with this shit 🥵
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men should have a little bar floating above their head that indicates how nice they are
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Two subs
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@katstkat They have hip shirts though
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if you want to date one of my roommates, you have to think Im funny. Otherwise i will punish you by staying in my room while you two hang out in the common area
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The goal of twitter is to be completely satisfied
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