Sam Alberti
@sam_alberti
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Following
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boston x beijing x nyc | movie guy | derrick white propagandist | unburdened
Brooklyn, NY
Joined April 2016
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#FGO9周年
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Crawford
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Jorji
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ちゃん水着
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#FriendshipDay
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Carolina Marín
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エルムS
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エレちゃん
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レパードS
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エレシュキガル
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#Liella_神奈川Day2
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#弓道に挑め美少年
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Canelo
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Ebrar
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ドゥラエレーデ
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Pinned Tweet
me and the fellas when we get our free lighthouse
US to give away free lighthouses as GPS makes them unnecessary
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The IRS has quietly built its own prototype system to allow Americans to file tax returns digitally and free of charge, according to three current and former agency officials, essentially creating government software that could disrupt the industry.
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pretending like COVID doesn’t very clearly separate the decades culturally is insane
Disconcerting that we're four years into the 2020s and yet there have been absolutely zero (0) cultural developments to separate us from the 2010s. Have decades ended?
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Bills fans had to deal with Tom Brady for 20 years only for Patrick Mahomes to immediately replace him it’s a cruel world
This is real pain right here, look at what Mahomes did
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they got advanced stats for babies now
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me when I go see Barbie and Oppenheimer back to back
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baseball cap that just reads “unburdened” would raise a million alone
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republicans staffers need to learn that nothing in pop-culture is for them
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the only things anyone remembers from the 2020 VP debates are Kamala saying “I’m speaking” and the fly that landed on Pence’s head
Has everyone on this site just forgotten that Pence was the objectively agreed winner of this debate?
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the commonly held belief that this granny was at the Capitol on Jan 6 is most effective piece of inconsequential misinformation in American history
Announcing Storm the Capitol, the world’s first board game based on the events of January 6th 🇺🇸
Relive one of the funniest days in American history by playing as either side in the battle to Stop the Steal 👮🏽♂️👵🏻🥷🧌
Limited TrueAnon edition - 1/6 at 🫵
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I'm sorry but this is still the funniest tweet from the 2020 cycle
Best line in the Elizabeth Warren beer catastrophe is, to her husband, “Thank you for being here. I’m glad you’re here” It’s their house, he’s supposed to be there!
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this person came in like 7th place at a swim meet and has been spiraling ever since
THIS is who was chosen as the U.S. flag bearer for the opening ceremony of the Olympics.
Anyone who has ever knelt for the national anthem should be disqualified from this honor.
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“Yes, it leads to a basket, but at what cost to the communal spirit” is what I’m gonna start saying when Embiid grifts for FTs
never forget castro spamming the euro step so much that it made Che Guevara question his commitment to the revolution
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you know who else got f*cked in a senate committee room…
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they're calling Kamala the Brock Purdy of electoral politics
If one of Harris's weaknesses was organization building, the campaign infrastructure is already built, the ads are bought, many of the themes are set (abortion/democracy/freedoms, Project 2025), rate cuts are coming...just need to slot the game management QB into the system.
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not even two weeks old but an instant classic
Ok then, what’s one of the best. This is still one of my faves.
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Vivek is that guy in every Intro to Politics class that when he raises his hand the rest of the class emits an audible groan
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the Astros losing and then Ted Cruz losing his senate seat because enough fans are convinced he cursed the team would be the funniest possible timeline
Ted Cruz’s office has confirmed he will be in attendance for Game 7 on Monday, despite Astros fans on social media begging him to stay home.
More:
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"these guys are just weird"
"they're running for he-man's womens hater club or something"
governor walz I wasn't familiar with your game
.
@GovTimWalz
: "People like JD Vance know nothing about small town America... He gets it all wrong. It's not about hate."
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celtics are up by so much that I don’t even know who this is
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don’t joke folks in DC will actually do this
Santos Con and it’s a bar crawl where people dress like George Santos
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feel like the growing creative talent gap between the two parties is only going to become more relevant
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this really shows how dire the pizza quality situation is in DC more than anything
The owner of multiple dominos pizza franchises in DC could tell when the US was about to go to war based on the number of pizzas delivered to the CIA, Pentagon, & White House in the nights leading up to the event
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might have to start saying “honey badger drinks when he wants” every time I want a buddy to toss me a beer
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the rnc research staffer who found the clip
its extremely funny that the Kamala Harris' viral coconut tree speech which has basically endeared her to a broad swath of the online electorate...
...was originally discovered by the RNC Research account last year and cut as a video to attack her with lmao
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she’s in Topeka! her only crime was loving America and being from Kansas!
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my culture is not your costume
I heard New Hampshire and America run on
@dunkindonuts
, had to check it out for myself 🇺🇸
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a tom brady/ben affleck/matt damon dunkin ad counts as a patriots super bowl appearance
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it's still so funny that VEEP's opening is literally Kamala's 2020 campaign
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have been informed that she has no children, so she's in fact not a granny either!
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Speaker of the House Mike Johnson admitted that he and his son monitored each other’s porn intake in a resurfaced clip from 2022
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today has been incredibly unserious 😭
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Kristi Noem’s official statement on her puppy murder:
I can understand why some people are upset about a 20 year old story of Cricket, one of the working dogs at our ranch, in my upcoming book — No Going Back. The book is filled with many honest stories of my life, good and bad days, challenges, painful decisions, and lessons
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Senate staff briefing their 80-year-old boss on their best Taylor Swift pun
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sorkin pilled this sorkin pilled that… what we are witnessing couldn’t be more VEEP if it tried
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me in 20 years when Babylon is finally recognized as the classic that it is
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one party is taking creative steps to create a more personal and grounded campaign, while the other is blasting out AI generated images of a fake dystopian future idk seems like it's worth mentioning
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if you’re arguing a nominee dropping out and getting replaced 3 months before an election will increase the odds of their party winning you are not being a serious person
If Biden is still struggling in August he needs to consider stepping aside.
It's not a great situation for Ds either way, but you have to do due diligence on the question. It's an important election, obviously. It shouldn't be taboo to talk about.
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I would give almost anything to see the approvals chain for this tweet
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if salmon on a hamburger bun smothered in ketchup means I look like this at 76 sign me up
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wearing a kevlar vest to Mission - Navy Yard
From a rural town, I requested a safe place I thought was a Northwest, DC assignment but was placed in the roughest areas in Southeast, DC. Initially a setback, it became a blessing.
Southeast DC has now become my home, and the community here has become an integral part of my
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senate staffers must be stopped at all costs
And there it is. Sen. Blumenthal: “Ticketmaster should look in the mirror and say ‘I’m the problem it’s me’”.
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crying at Trump signing the display case instead of the actual baseball
Every Trump video of him campaigning is a joyful night out with old friends.
Every DeSantis video is an awkward first date with the guy your mom wants you to marry.
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Tim Walz has an opportunity to do the funniest thing ever
Thanks for the pro tip Amy — they really swept me off my feet
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I say this with love but we need an intervention for elder millennial staffers
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posting the names, photos, and salaries of Legislative Assistants and Correspondents like they have any influence on DiFi’s decisions is incredibly bad actually
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ok now they’re just making up congressmen
I have filed to be Speaker of the House. We are in Washington to legislate, and I want to lead a House that functions in the best interest of the American people.
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Kindergarteners Hill Staffers
🤝
not shutting up about recess
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of course it’s the one 75+ year old senator that looks 50 who decides to retire
Breaking news: Mitt Romney says he will not seek a second Senate term, probably ending the Utah Republican’s decades-long political career.
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someone should put the speakers gavel on like a moderately high shelf and see what happens
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the biggest thing I’ve learned working in politics is that there’s no more perfect word in existence than ‘folks’
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A haunted house but it’s filled with guys asking what do you do for work
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student government remains one of the most unserious things we allow to exist in this country
BREAKING: The Georgetown University Student Association (GUSA) Senate voted not to certify the results of the 2023 election in an 11-6 vote.
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Name other scholars beside Oppenheimer who spent their later years running away from their early work
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this is fun and all but it’s so silly DC won’t just let you use apple pay
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No one made it first, so now that I've had some free time here it is:
@CoryBooker
in the House.
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COVID, micro-plastics, and now wildfire smoke all getting acquainted in my lungs
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digital staff hitting send tweet on copy that was butchered in approvals
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shouting "campaigns shouldn't be afraid to have fun!" from any rooftop I can find
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evergreen
Twitter/X has officially removed article headlines on links shared to the platform, now just displaying the image and website.
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scrolling by I thought this was Kyrsten Sinema and Colin Allred
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“it’s their house, he’s supposed to be there!” has echoed in my head every day since
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this meant something to me
Fuck I miss the Celtics being an inconsequential vibes squad
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running for congress solely on the platform of securing a win for democrats in the confessional baseball game
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JD Vance is the most successful American under the age of 40. Veteran, college in two years, Yale Law, hedge fund, memoir that has sold more than 2 million copies, senator, now prospective VP. He should have overwhelming gratitude for this country. Let's see if he shows it.
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The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly great call from the haters
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and that’s makes her grift less pathetic how?
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even VEEP at its most unhinged could never have imagined something as ridiculous as a Congressman using McDonalds to bribe votes for the Speakership
Also: Here is Rep. Kevin Hern’s pitch as majority leader along with a
@McDonalds
breakfast sandwich that he distributed to members this morning.
Pics, per a GOP staffer
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once again asking why daylight savings doesn’t happen at 4pm on a friday instead of 2am on a sunday
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y’all thought I was joking
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Jon Tester and Cory Booker filming a direct-to-camera
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@Max_P94
@MMiraculorum
in 2004 you were like 8 and in 2014 you were 18 of course those felt different
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the torch has been passed
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