Clayson Shumway
@runawayshumaway
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865
Following
573
Media
413
Statuses
7,254
even asymptotically my jokes aren't normal | he/him 𐐡𐐀𐐙𐐆𐐢 𐐢𐐁𐐗 𐐒𐐃𐐤𐐇𐐚𐐆𐐢 | 𐐐𐐀/𐐐𐐆𐐣
Joined January 2013
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The average BYU runner’s college career
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My 14 year old son started drinking heavily in the last year and dropped his 3200 time from 11:15 to 9:54
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However the rest of this season goes, I will always be the first man to win a steeplechase on the new Hayward Field
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365
Trying to dance at 5:40 pace (without previously choreographing anything...)
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Altitude converted sub 4
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The first 1.5 miles of any morning run don’t count either. Your body isn’t fully awake. I’m sick of all you mileage cheats
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oh boy do I have the school for you
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Slow heat 1500s are hilarious. No one touches the lead, they go through 800m in 2:08, kick like madmen to run 3:49, and all get mad they didn't set PBs
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When you aren't running, picking a time to shower feels so forced, unnatural, and arbitrary
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When you're doubling, there's only a short window of time to shower before you decide it's worth waiting until after the second run
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My career in college went much better than I thought it would as a freshman, and was nowhere near as good as I had hoped it would turn out halfway through.
But regardless, it was a wonderful ride and I'm happy to have been a part of the golden age of BYU distance running!
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1
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We have won
the race
that is in
November
and which
you were probably
saving for an
NAU 4peat
Forgive us
we are so vengeful
so fast
and so cold
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8
198
oh give me a break not a single one of these runners broke 4
Unprecedented.
6⃣ under 4⃣ in the SAME RACE.
Ben Perrin - 3:55.83*
Rob McManus - 3:58.13*
Harvey Cramb - 3:58.36*
Sam Ells - 3:58.81*
Levi Taylor - 3:59.63*
Matthew Richtman - 3:59.69*
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2
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Everyone builds Colorado shaped pools...
This Texas shaped pool proves that we are cooler than the other 49 states combined
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2K
8K
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7
168
Mantz just ran a 7:58 on our home track. Which is insane because our track has tighter curves than a hot wheels course and worse ventilation than Ted Bundy’s cave
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6
164
NAU is an amazing cross country program. Congrats on another wicked race fellas
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155
yeah i watch the byu team race all the time
You ever see an old person cooking on their run? Well I just saw a guy with a grey mullet and mustache going ~6:40 pretty smoothly
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1
152
if he hadn't outkicked mantz would conner have to marry her instead?
After winning today’s
#ManchesterRoadRace
@morg_bead
proposed to his girlfriend, Lexi Hager, and she said ”yes.” 💍
📷
@JaneMonti1
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4
147
Nice to see your local store wasn't out of toilet paper
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145
Nice guys finish last
some people lose all morals and ethics while racing. they'll say good luck before the race, shake your hand, look like they actually mean it.
and then mid race they'll throw a hard elbow and cut you off
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146
1K
3
15
137
Every single guy in NAU's top 7 would take the urinal right next to you, even when every other one if open.
Happy
#TrashTalkTuesday
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5
135
Did NC State just qualify 5 women out of the same heat in the 5k? Wow
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2
137
Strava is such a pure form of social media. No engagements, no politics
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14
135
Our 10k guys stole the show but we still have enough steeple guys that the clerk asked "which relay?"
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6
132
@DanMcdanMcdan
@AmericanFietser
My favorite thing about flying is the lack of government oversight
1
0
133
There’s something thrilling about running in a new place and audibling your planned out-n-back into a loop you didn’t research and not knowing if you’re in for 5 or 15 miles
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4
128
I’m a two time all-American in Track and XC and I’m going to go on to get a PhD after this. I feel great about myself.
If you came in first place on the pacer test in middle school you’re now in college failing to grapple with your own mediocrity after years of thinking you were better than everybody else. I don’t make the rules sorry
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9
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3
128
My dear running friends,
This fall I will begin a PhD in Economics at NC State. As such, I imagine the fraction of my tweets devoted to running will greatly decrease. I will still throw out occasional running takes. While it will hurt I guess I'll understand if you unfollow me
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0
122
If you run a loop and then add on a tail to make it an even number of miles, YOU ARE DISRESPECTING THE LOOP
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5
109
My favorite Val Constein story is that one of my teammates was cooling down after a race and tripped over a hurdle because he was too focused on flirting with her
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0
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one year in cross country we had a father and son pair on our nationals squad for xc
Running out with your son instead of your parents on Senior Day is peak BYU. 🫡
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640
18K
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97
I ran past a park and a little kid said to his mom “woah so fast” and I’m going to be riding that high for a week
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0
81
Turning the corner and seeing Garnica lying in the dirt, knowing that I’m now our 4th guy as nowhere close to where I should be, might be the lowest low of any race I’ve run.
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0
79
Just went on a morning run where we discussed weddings, marriage, pregnancy, baby names, and life insurance. Is this what everyone assumes we at BYU discuss on every run?
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1
77
what's the record for most married guys in an NCAA track heat? I think the steeple last night had 5 or 6, that's gotta break it, right?
@jgault13
@runnerspace
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1
79
I found out today that the Washington State team does their runs in kms and wears half tights on easy runs. I've been the wrong kind of Cougar my whole career...
2
3
78
My Indoor 3k progression has been
2018: 8:02
2019: 8:06
2020: 8:11
I thought this whole getting old thing was supposed to play to my advantage
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0
77
Michael Ottesen caught 29 people in the last 3k to give us the win by 2pts... 😳
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3
75
I feel like dragonflys are similar to the BYU age advantage. I’m pissed that it seems to work for everyone but me
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I’ll clarify for all those confused... I graduated high school in 2014. I am not a freshman
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I work at a shoe store. Yesterday a woman came in with her old pair. In the course of chatting I ask "Are you married ... "(going to say 'to this shoe model'). But she cuts me off and says "No, I'm not married"
About 3 minutes later she mentions her husband died in March
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1
77
I’ll die on the hill that altitude conversions are overly generous and represent the time a sea level runner would lose going up to altitude, not the benefit someone training at altitude gets from dropping down.
“Every few years a race will be run up on a mountain somewhere & the conversion will irk sea level-trained college kids. Admittedly, I was one of them once. I remember
@patkc13
’s 4:04 getting converted down to 3:59 in ‘10 & calling BS”
(via
@TheLapCount
)
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5
59
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2
76
This is a more impressive feat than Mantz' titles. This track is so dismal to run on.
FIRST SUB-4 MILE AT SMITH FIELDHOUSE
3.59.20‼️
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769
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It seems the world ends with a whimper, not a bang. Last race and first time ever finishing DFL. And I guess when it comes down to it I don’t actually have the guts to DNF out of spite
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0
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I just found out I got into my program at Colorado State! Looks like next year I'll be suiting up in green!
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0
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Almost every time I interact with a runner online I TFRRS/IAAF stalk them to see with whom I'm dealing
6
3
70
Got a strava crown today for the first time post injury
It’s over for you hoes
2
1
68
Anytime my self esteem is low, I make a BYU is old joke on twitter. It's a golden goose: guaranteed 50 likes.
And I feel happy again.
1
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This is a good time to say that even when my team benefits I think altitude conversions are way too generous
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How many people have both ran sub 14 in the 5k and dunked a basketball in their lifetime?
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Maybe if runners recovered as much as we bragged about working hard we’d have a lower injury rate
Then again I ran 14 miles today, so...
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At the testing center:
“Hey, my wife is expecting. Can I leave my phone here and you guys come get me if she calls?”
@HeardAtBYU
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2
64
If I had a dollar for every girl who kissed me and got married in the same calendar year I could be eating Panda Express orange chicken right now
2
0
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I found out today that the worst part of being an athlete is that girls can look up my height before they meet me
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Every time my teammates start bragging about how great our steeple top 10 board is (SR 8:21, 10th place 8:36) I have to gently remind them that Wazzou’s school record is 8:05
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I’m not sure what is more crazy. The fact that in the west 32nd in the 10k is 29:09 or that 32nd in the steeple is 9:15
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Mantz wore knee length shorts on his shakeout today. I'm worried that the running gods will strike him down later today.
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Wow, if I'd realized that to become popular on twitter all I needed to do was insult half the NCAA I would've done it a lot sooner.
Looks like the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
0
0
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If I had a dollar for every time a girl ghosted me after I took her to the slaughterhouse in iMessage word hunt I’d be able to afford dinner at a fairly cheap steakhouse
3
1
60
I’m in that weird level of fitness where I felt great while running but fall asleep almost immediately if I ever try to sit still
2
1
60
Aww man if you’re going to tweet about that dismal race at lease use this picture
Clayson Shumway | Steeple | 23rd place
🏅 All-America Honorable Mention
⏱ 9:11.34
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As this lovely time of year rolls around, I once again have the great pleasure to introduce to the world all my teammates who have qualified for regionals
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looking forward to seeing how the time I ran to finish 32nd in 2018 would end up putting me 154th next fall
One year from now the best runners in the country will be in Madison!
#Badgers
||
#OnWisconsin
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I can’t believe Cole Hocker ran 2:49 in short shorts
🚨 Collegiate Record & All-Time World Best 🚨
@OregonTF
lowered their own collegiate record in the DMR by more than five seconds to 9:19.42.
1200m: Cole Hocker 2:49.89
400m: Luis Peralta 47.29
800m: Charlie Hunter 1:47.65
1600m: Cooper Teare 3:54.61
📷
@kevmofoto
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Yes, it appears that the Power 5 are afraid of not only NAU but also the defending national champions
That’s a lot of effort just to avoid racing against
@NAUTrackFieldXC
Power 5 Leaders Exploring Possibility of Staging Their Own Fall Sports Championships
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I understand why Strava switched flybys to opt-in instead of opt-out. And it was probably the right choice.
But I miss seeing other people people running fast and being able to get home and see who they are and what they were up to
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1
55
The Spanish ESPN feed didn't go to commercial in that first steeplechase heat. If anyone is interested...
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Can’t wait to see what you run in the steeple!
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It represents your minimum time over a certain distance. If I run 13:59 in the 5k one week and then 14:01 two weeks later but I was trying harder is my PB 14:01?
Also, it's personal *bests. Records are for institutions and locations
If your 5k PR came within another race, it's not a real 5k PR.
Personal Records indicate a maximum effort over a certain distance.
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So I finally watched ESPN's coverage of the XC championship and I don't understand why they repeatedly say Mantz was thinking about running slower in order to help the team. Cross country is a beautiful sport because seeking individual glory and the team's is perfectly aligned
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Prof: people would prefer a longer colonoscopy with a less painful ending than a short procedure that ends painfully, even though the overall integral of pain is greater. now I’m going to show you what this looks like
Student: oh please no!
Prof: on a graph...
@HeardAtBYU
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Well if I’m not it’s too late now
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1
52
Now that I’m officially done, would anyone like to place some bets on the remaining races?
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0
50
The winter olympics are white people's time to shine
1
11
50
“Did you get married?”
“Yeah, I did”
“To who?”
“This girl from around here”
“What happened to Emily?”
...... guess it moved fast
#SorryEmily
(but probably not your loss)
@HeardAtBYU
0
1
50
I took a weekend trip with a bunch of NARPs and managed to avoid saying "only" in front of "12 miles" when they asked me how far I ran this morning
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0
48
The worst part about being injured is that Clayton Young passed me in strava followers.
I'm way more exciting than he is
2
1
49
Flotrack changed their profile pic and I almost liked one of their tweets. Fortunately I realized and stopped myself from committing such a heinous crime
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0
47
Going from 1st to 5th in the last 90m is a bummer, but at least I can take comfort that half of the guys who passed me were teammates
3
0
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If the Boston University track is 200m, then I'm at least 6'
3
1
47
Someone implied I'm a slob for washing my sheets every two weeks. And here I am thinking I'm in the 90th percentile for single men
3
0
46
It's always a rough day when a construction project wraps up and a port o' potty you've come to depend on is no longer in its usual spot
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2
47
Thank heaven Clayton Young finally had his kid. It’s been so long since I had a teammate who was a dad it began to feel like I wasn’t running for BYU
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1
47
When you want to go watch Always Sunny but your engaged roommate is playing Minecraft on the couch with his exgirlfriend
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1
46
Liquor store clerk: I'm gonna need to see some age verification.
Me: I run for BYU
Clerk: Root beer is that way
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