🦇 tales from the robocrypt 🎃
@robocryptid
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🔞 She/her. Bi. NSFW fic. 90% curses, 10% opinions, 0% taste. Lots of RTs. YeeHan + Disco Elysium + Wheel of Time + BG3. Other fandoms & ships sprinkled in.
PFP by jackalsoup
Joined December 2018
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new pinned for when this place finally becomes fully inhospitable.
I'm robo! I write fanfic. my accounts aren't always NSFW, but they are for the 18+ crowd.
✨ AO3:
✨ 🦋☁️
✨ Tumblr:
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"fanart of him fucking McCree isn't lore" is gonna outlive anything else produced by this fandom
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listen my skills are only so good but like. every time Overwatch drops new lore.
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Rating Male Overwatch Heroes on Whether They'd Let a Woman Peg Them: A Thread 🧵
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the funniest thing abt the “is fanfic real literature?” convo is that I’m over here wondering, “does it actually *matter* if it’s ~literature or not? does it have to be ‘real’ literature to have value?”
why’d we just accept this joker’s framing without question?
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really wish we could bring back "if it's not about you, it's not about you." people get so defensive of broad critiques of fandom that they think it must be a personal assault on them, their tastes, and their habits, when maybe it's just, like, a broad generalization.
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being an Overwatch fan is such a strange balance of rooting for the current devs' efforts to make things better, including the content we get, while recognizing the legacy of racist, misogynist rot & systemic exploitation (& worse treatment) of workers within Activision Blizzard
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ijs y'all, Gabe confirmed to have a family makes the fanon "he was LIKE A DAD to McCree and/or Blackwatch in general" hold a lot more water. looking at a messed up teen & thinking "this could be one of my kids" is a pretty powerful motivation that isn't just "I could use him."
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how we know McHanzo’s canon in OW2: McCree went from one pad to two bc he’s been spending so much time on his knees lately
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it's always "bi king" until he might be actually attracted to a woman. then he's trash & bad representation.
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anyway throwing my theory out there: if he really can’t remember “boar” he’s a bigger dumbass than even I write him. my money’s on him meaning capybara.
DVa, Mei, Soldier 76, Torbjorn, Tracer, and Cassidy got voice lines added to Lucio's Favorite Animal question in
#Overwatch2
.
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@zandrielsilva
@shenyun5000
can someone live with heartbreak if it means they can eat every day? is it really good bread? would I grow to prefer the bread over my unrequited love?
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I take it BACK, McCree did NOT get a glowup bc they got rid of his FANGS, pls sir, I miss your weird pointy teef already
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I asked several people to stop me and nobody did so uh. here's a thing: Overwatch characters as Dolly Parton outfits.
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@volskayadottxt
she was so concerned by the possibility someone might think she's heterosexual. a queen, truly.
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Genji buys these for Hanzo one year. Hanzo won’t leave his room for a week.
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mixed feelings on the McCree name change. *I* didn’t need it, but other survivors did, & certainly the guy he was named after didn’t need his ego stroked. IMO this looks like a creative team changing what they can while we wait for substantive changes from the company as a whole.
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Blizz's storytelling leaves a lot to be desired, but if they took all their cues from popular fan interpretations, there's a high chance the story would be worse, not better.
What Overwatch 2 opinion would get you this reaction?
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HUMILIATING. Hanzo is one amnesiac spiral away from being Harry du Bois, confirmed.
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gentle reminder "queerbaiting" has a meaningful & useful definition & doesn't just mean "the char/ship I wanted didn't get confirmed on the same day we got two new characters confirmed LGBTQ+."
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cursed fic idea: bodyswap, but not between the people in the ship. no, I’m thinking McCree & Angela.
Angela, weeping at the person in the mirror: “I thought I’d never have to look at this ass again”
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today’s a good day to think about lil shithead McCree growing into bloodthirsty & kinda amoral McCree growing into much gentler & obsessed with justice & defending the innocent McCree 😩👌
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Cassidy has been named Cassidy for a year and a half now. why are people still whining about it in fic writers' comments? (not mine today.) be mad at the sex pest he used to be named after, not at us for, like, NOT reminding our readers of the sex pest he used to be named after.
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after years of being told to check it out, we’re finally watching Tuca & Bertie & I cannot fucking believe a comedy about talking birds almost made me cry twice now???
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the Blizzard shit sucks. the victims & survivors matter first & foremost. the collision of corporate culture, rape culture, & toxic game bro culture matter too. holding Blizzard & other game companies accountable matters. those are the reasonable priorities.
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I can't believe I never noticed how much himbo energy this screenshot gives off out of context
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@ClearTogether
mataglap also pointed out that Cassidy has NO reason to dramatically make his cape flare so he’s either a massive dork who does that just for fun or he’s a massive dork who was doing it for the attention… & not Pharah’s, bc he knows she’s a lesbian & that she’s gonna roast him
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I have never fully recovered from this screencap
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they're together
#Overwatch2
Season 3 will introduce challenges to unlock the highly-anticipated Silhouette Player Icons 👤✨
Exact details are unknown, but we'll report back tomorrow!
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too many ppl sleep on how smart he has to be to have built his own tech & led a dang revolution*. I think he & Sombra are legit the smartest chars in a cast of v smart ppl & he is a smart, political, & beautiful, & his cheeriness is a choice, not smth that makes him uncomplicated
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my Jewish partner said last night, “this country only pretends to care about me when it’s time to kill Palestinians” that hasn’t stopped spinning around in my head since
Deepening the wound, today’s remembrance comes on the heels of the deadliest day for the Jewish people since the Holocaust.
On October 7th, a sacred Jewish holiday, Hamas unleashed pure evil against the people of Israel, slaughtering 1,400 Jews and taking hostage hundreds more.
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Baptiste moving on from his giant bara ex by finding the prettiest man he can feels like great characterization, honestly
BAP AND NIRAN FLIRT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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@seraphknights
if steddyhands isn't real then why is Izzy's mythological creature the same name people call bisexuals who'll have a threesome with an established couple
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90% of the good things about McCree were made up by fandom anyway. we can take up the challenge of a new name, no problem.
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current mood: thinking about Genji's "I was a bystander" and this screenshot at the same time
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Cole Cassidy in this shirt, with the tactical nipple pocket
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Overwatch fans have really been conditioned to lose our shit over the tiniest morsels, huh. first, it was Reaper’s eyeballs. now it’s Hanzo holding tea.
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Harry "I'm such a communist even my dick leans to the left" Du Bois
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McHanzo are private people, so their new relationship is something they keep quiet about, but their friends & colleagues notice something’s off when they start picking up each other’s mannerisms.
Hanzo officially outs them for good the day he drops a “y’all” into conversation.
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fandom: fuck canon. I say McCree’s chubby, Hanzo has prosthetic legs & Gabe has An Actual Butt instead of the concave side of a spoon.
also fandom: I don’t like female chars bc their bodies are too male gazey. a 90-degree spine is simply too much to overcome.
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he left his packer at home on the day he posed for the OW2 photos
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for a positive view of Blizz’s low hanging fruit (pun unintended, but I’m keeping it): at launch, OW was ahead of the curve in terms of rep in video games. now it’s struggling to keep up. in 5 short years, that’s how much the game landscape & player expectations have changed.
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Hanzo, heart beating too fast, palms sweating, stomach in knots that might be nervousness or might be excitement & it’s honestly hard to say, cheeks hot, breathing kind of funny, all while staring at McCree’s smile: what’s this? am I dying maybe?
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"the grumpy one & the sunshine one": great, fine, it has its time & place
"the grumpy one & the grumpier one & they're both broken & slightly stupid": perfect, I will go feral
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@Karnythia
“he can’t experience postpartum.” ok but he can experience bath time and bedtime and diaper changes, etc.?
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I can’t stop thinking about there being, canonically, Overwatch cartoons, bc you know what that means? that means there’s prob fanfiction of those cartoons in the OW universe.
there are people in that universe shipping Sojourn w Ana & writing gen char studies abt Gabriel Reyes.
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every now & then I think to myself, “if I worked for Blizz & wanted to ruin things for every lgbtq+ person in fandom, I’d make Cassidy/Pharah canon”
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Hanzo: how does one [air quotes] flirt?
Genji: tell jokes. maybe find something you have in common. now if you’ll let me go back to meditating to work thru my anger over that time you almost killed me...
-
Hanzo, later, at McCree: I understand we’ve both committed homicide.
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Jesse McCree with a YouTube cooking channel called “Spaghetti Western” send tweet
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fandom: Hanzo &/or Genji are super stoic & show no emotion etc etc
Hanzo & Genji both, esp on Hanamura map: ANYWAY HAVE YOU HEARD MY FEELINGS ABOUT MY PAST YET????????
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hot as hell & if he were white a huge chunk of this fandom would be swooning over his Magneto-esque villainy instead of writing him off entirely
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@Vimeddiee
the only thing the old name is good for at this point was inspiring this particular wording in my recent fic update 😘
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Jesse McCree watching movies & counting bullets & getting real pissed when they miscount for that particular gun.
alternatively, he asks, “oh does this hero have Deadeye too?”
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a Hanzo ship I love more than McHanzo:
Hanzo/the barest hint of increasing emotional intelligence
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Now on AO3: a McHanzo social distancing fic, featuring fluff & humor & some other cute stuff. Rated Teen+.
"Climbing the Walls," Ch. 1/2 (?) -
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most of us know how Supernatural ended by now. roast it all you like, I personally thought it was nice of them to show aspiring & self-conscious writers that no matter how bad you think your ideas are, it can’t be as bad as whatever the fuck that was.
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when y'all wanted Hanzo writing angsty unsent letters, you wanted there to be several to other folks mixed in, right? like a bunch to Genji where he's processing lots of feelings? you def signed up for a McH fic hoping it'd veer hard into sad brother territory too?
yes? cool.
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What To Do When A Woman Threatens Your M/M Ship
🧵
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ah, another round of "fanfic is goofy free fun that somehow exists outside of socialization entirely, even though nothing does" vs "but you should take fanfic seriously as a medium when we say so" bc some people want prestige but not the critique that comes w/ it. time to log off
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also imagine: Gabe dragging angry baby Jesse home for Christmas and then realizing it was a mistake when Jesse teaches the mini-Reyeses how to pick locks
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Cupid Hanzo broke my brain, so naturally he has to break Cassidy's brain too. here's "Shoot to Kill," a
#Yeehan
PWP to celebrate the new skin. rated explicit.
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Lúcio: Hell yeah! You’re gonna do great! He’ll even help you out, because he’s definitely done this before! Downside: there is no downside. You get a bottom AND a cheerleader!
🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 6 out of 5 for the enthusiasm bonus
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the only character consistency I was worried about. big sigh of relief, friends. he still has sausage fingers & they still clip through things.
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@yoshi12370
sorry, Yoshi, your ship’s cancelled now. if a man calls another man “brother,” it’s always 100% literal.
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Now on AO3: "Main Squeeze," Ch. 2/2, a
#McHanzo
fic in which they keep getting stuck in tight spaces together. Explicit, sexual humor.
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anyway can’t stop thinking about how Baptiste’s biceps are like almost the size of Lúcio’s waist, what a blessed Sunday
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Hanzo “I Try Really Hard To Be Or At Least Appear Stoic But I’m Actually Just Uncomfortable Around People & Sometimes Very Off-Putting” Shimada is an unwieldy nickname but it’s the one he deserves
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imagine Hanzo performing his cringe edgelord karaoke lines in his cringe magical girl cupid skin
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idk why I have to say this, but GENUINELY, if you can't find the empathy by now to understand that the cowboy name change was *for the devs who have to work on him every day, knowing the abuser who he was originally named for* & treat that with a modicum of respect...
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I've been laughing w people for a solid 45 minutes about how OFFENSIVE McHanzo would be from Akande's POV. like "I am handsome & look like I smell really good tbqh & incredibly wealthy & powerful & smart & persuasive if not downright smooth AF, & you reject me for... McCree?"
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whatever else happened to cause Cole Cassidy to lose his arm, we all know deep in our hearts that it was immediately preceded by "hold my beer"
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Hanzo to Genji right before making an attempt at fratricide
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@PlayOverwatch
love the new looks! any chance we’re gonna get more Pride content than the “rainbow” icon, bc as others have pointed out, it really isn’t comparable to what other games (yes, even those games who want the big China $$) have done, so surely there’s smth more significant incoming?
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I was half asleep last night & had a dumb fic idea someone prob already wrote: young McHan where BW McCree is sent to spy but then Hanzo’s like “you’re kidnapping me.” “uh, I’m really not.” “yes, you’re kidnapping me for the ransom. I’ll pay you to do it.” ksjdjdjdjd
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I don't think anyone deserves to be harassed or unsafe, but I DO think if you can't call Cole Cassidy "Cole Cassidy" by 2023, I know what your priorities are, they don't include me or people like me or imo fandom as a community, & I won't be engaging or reccing anything you make.
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Joke can’t be the only person I curse with this, so:
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Hanzo heard McCree tell Ashe she was “too rich” for his tastes, so now he’s going around humblebragging to total randos about how much money he doesn’t have
ANOTHER NEW HANZO INTERACTION
THIS TIME WITH HOG
Hog: You look rich.
Hanzo: I gave up my father's empire and his fortune alongside it.
Hog: Shame.
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y'all have no idea how long I've been waiting to shoehorn this particular lowkey roast into a fic
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@YourAverageJoke
oh, this is making the rounds again. that shitpost's gonna outlive us all in the collective memory of this fandom.
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AO3 making the name & ship tags official (& therefore filter-able)! next step: figuring out if they're ever gonna combine the old name & new name, & how they're gonna do that, lol.
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Akande, drunk at 2am in the karaoke bar: THIS IS DEFINITELY ABOUT A GIRL AND NOT A MAN BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE TOO ON THE NOSE HAHAHA
Sombra, to Widow: we're gonna hear "Jesse's Girl" again, aren't we?
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Hanzo: Yes, but this is a high-risk, high-reward scenario. Never has there been a more uptight hedonist. It’s an 80/20 shot here, where you’re most likely to get chewed out for Doing It Wrong because he can’t unclench the stick already up his ass.
🍆 (80%)
🍆🍆🍆🍆 (20%)
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[gently whispers]
sometimes... it's ok to like characters with big big flaws, even big meanies, even when they're big meanies to other faves...
it's even ok to like villains...
it's
ok
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@ClearTogether
maybe he's just a really good wingman bc he's hoping Pharah returns the favor...
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t-shirt ideas for when you’re watching fandom light itself on fire:
It’s Not Queerbaiting Just Because Your Ship Isn’t Canon (words mean things)
You’re Allowed to Enjoy Things
There Doesn’t Have to Be a Deeper Reason to Dislike Something; Maybe You Just Don’t Like It
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"best kind of shark" implies Baptiste has a lot of shark opinions, & I desperately want to know what they are
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Hanzo, watching McCree vanity search his own name on Twitter: “why are you like this?”
McCree: “some of us didn’t get enough love in our childhoods”
Hanzo: silence, one eyebrow just slowly climbing
McCree: “wrong audience for that joke, you’re right.”
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McCree: Yes, but requires peeling back layers of internalized toxic masculinity. He may condescend to you & think it’s a compliment, then you have to stop to lecture him on how benevolent sexism is still sexism.
🍆 for engendering feminist rants when you could be banging it out
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Baptiste: Obviously, he would LOVE to let a woman peg him (especially if her name begins with S), but he might have some snarky shit to say if you make it weird. He also knows how hot he is, which may cause moments of overconfidence.
🍆🍆🍆🍆 out of 5 eggplants
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some out of context McHanzo for your consideration
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