Anna
@rlyanna
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It’s so fake that Sunday is the first day of the week. Like Sunday is clearly the last day of the week it’s the last day of the weekend!!!!! Monday is obviously day 1 and Sunday is obviously day 7. Thank you for coming to my TED talk
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The worst part about having fraudulent charges on my card was the bank reading me my other charges. She was like “did you spend $18 dollars at Chick-fil-A?” and I had to take a good long look at myself
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Girls still going out in skimpy clothing when it’s 35 degrees in March are going to singlehandedly reverse global warming
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Going to humanities classes with female professors right now is wild because they'll start discussion like "anyone else having a horrible fucking time right now?" and the whole class is just like yeah and then we don't do any work
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The commentator on this game just said UMD does a good job recruiting "the DMV: Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, and DC" whose mans
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I’d LOVE to see
@presidentloh
try to survive a month in Hagerstown
Perspective: Moving into the freshman dorm, 44 years later, the new president of Morehouse dives into college life
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I made a grammatical error on my snapchat story and immediately got an email from my advisor telling me I can't be an English major anymore
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Took an exam today and accidentally wrote the nicene creed instead of the honor code :/
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Why is every company I apply to addicted to being like WE R FUN OK.... we drink BEER at WORK... do u have a dog??? a pupper?? doggo even?? bring it!!!! that would be so dope lol! we're not ur dad's startup... also u have to work 60 hours a week bc we're do-ers/dreamers
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I will be so fucked if my supervisor ever finds the spreadsheet I use to remember the differences between the various white men in my office named Mike, Mark, and Matt
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No offense but I hate people who think that Hillary and Trump are equally bad
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How tf do college students outside of Maryland decorate when they can't just put up a huge Maryland flag and call it a day?? Must be a strug
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*sees ken in middle of truck block* alright, time for the money shot, you're a model, you're a queen, time to slay...
me:
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You should be able to Venmo parking meters I don’t have any coins tf what is this 1400?????
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If thousands of you retweet this tweet at exactly 11:59:59 on December 31st I’ll go viral just as 2017 is ending and officially complete my New Years resolution to
#MakeAnnaViral
in 2017
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Bro I wish giving up lent was as easy as y’all seem to think it is I spend easily upwards of $900 on lent rollers each year :/
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Do you ever see a white boy walking around campus with headphones on who seems really into his music and just KNOW he’s listening to Eminem?
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Syllabus week is like half trying to guess if girls with phi sig water bottles are from Potomac or Jersey before icebreakers start. I’m like 6/10 so far
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I wish the internet would be more entertaining when I'm trying to aggressively procrastinate like I'm not even enjoying not writing this paper
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Ending 2017 with stomach flu so in a way I
#MadeAnnaViral
🗣 Be careful what you wish for, kids!!
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My ultimate nightmare is being the intern at some office and having to carry like 2 of those 4-cup containers full of hot coffee through the busy streets of a city (New York or LA, even). Imagine spilling 8 cups of coffee. Yes this tweet is a flex that I know that 2x4 = 8
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My timeline is full of tweets with 280 characters that I don't care about it feels like Game of Thrones season
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The DC and the MD flag go hard af and then it’s just like....... Virginia is here too
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Ok yes that one guy cut off his arm when he was trapped on a mountain but I’ve personally attended 70% of my classes this week. The human spirit is really unbreakable isn’t it
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A shower beer is all fun and games until you confidently swig some conditioner
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I love when people self-comment on their finsta with their rinsta. It's like watching them give themselves a pep talk in the mirror
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If my professor has the audacity to make a paper due at 9am when we don't have class until noon she better have them graded by 9:01 is all I'm saying
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Any liberal pundit who’s out here deadass supporting an Oprah presidential run is literally a dangerous idiot
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I feel like "landlord" is way too dope of a name for just like a person who owns an apartment. If you're a landlord you should have a small territory at least
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How do you explain to a professor that their class is your chosen L for the week
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The face of a dog who loves the park so much I had to physically carry him out
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Metro needs to be open later than 1 am this is June it’s literally homophobic. In 2015 you could be 18 and drunk at town danceboutique and safely on the train home at 3 a.m. it’s kind of like why did I even bother voting blue I’m a single issue voter
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Barista accidentally gave me a venti today and now I know for sure I could never do crack
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Applying for writing jobs is wild bc my resume is a napkin that says “BA in English 🤗” and my cover letter is me reciting the alphabet (hard bc the keyboard is NOT in order) and these two things for some reason are not convincing corporate America to take a shot on lil ole me 😔
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I graduate in a month and the CP Cava STILL hasn’t opened. The point of failure looks increasingly appealing
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Going over 24 hours without watching bae of hoco's story and trying to jump back in
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In 60 years when my granddaughter gets arrested for dodging the compulsory Amazon Prime Space Corps draft I’m going to be so proud of her
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Literally can’t make up that I was just asked to solve these during a job interview
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Is someone going to write an opera about Taylor and Kanye or am I gonna have to do it myself
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Today I saw the most powerful man on earth wearing white jeans and converse the day after Labor Day and it turned me into a pillar of salt
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If everyone on campus could please stop wearing long sleeves and carrying tiny little backpacks that can’t possibly fit notebooks/a laptop that would be great, thanks
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What's UMD gonna do if there's a real emergency at 11:55am on the first Wednesday of the month
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Uhhhhh I just saw someone bike directly over the point of failure and I’m very uncomfortable??? What does that mean
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I just had a That's So Raven style vision of me finishing up this essay due tomorrow at 5pm at happy hour
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I love this song
For the first time in 26 years, D.C. has a world champion.
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Today I won $10 in my poetry class by writing a poem about how much I dislike bichon frises. Who says poetry doesn't pay
#imakemoneymoves
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@carseatheadrest
The Way You Look Tonight by Sinatra / Chateau Lobby
#4
(in C for two virgins) by Father John Misty / Take Care by Beach House / Bright Whites by Kishi Bashi
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How it feels to make it to Maryland basketball season after suffering through Maryland football
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This was designed in a lab to terrorize me
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Why doesn’t my guardian angel ever stop me from putting too much pasta in the pot. She knows I can’t finish it all and yet stays silent????
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I need to stop internally bullying people who wear shorts when it’s cold out. They’re just out here living their truth
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When I’m president every musical will be required by law to have an overture AND an entr’acte
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My mom just delightedly exclaimed that “Lady Gaga is an Aries too!!” and now she’s listening to Ella Mai in the kitchen I think she might be a millennial
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Now that I have a bachelor’s degree I finally feel qualified to start watching Vanderpump Rules! Thank you to everyone who has supported me on this journey 💛
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I wish I could teach my dog about toxic masculinity, I think it would help him
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Just took a moonlit stroll through my Venmo feed glad to see y’all paying your electric bill
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Shout out to this photo of me and Kate desperately trying to take a normal photo
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WHOOOOOO takes PHONE CALLS on the QUIET FLOOR of the library!! Were you raised in a barn without a quiet floor!
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Humanities profs want you to get real cute for their finals like "make a scrapbook about the Civil War" No Susan just lemme write an essay
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Setting at my desk blasting Chainsmokers in my headphones to drown out my coworkers talking about renovating their kitchens and picking their daughters up from lacrosse practice. This is 22
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My mom has one (1) glass of wine and immediately begins shopping for mini labradoodles
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Anytime I add old bay to a basic recipe it’s like...... where’s my Michelin Star
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Farmers/Cowmen: OHHHHHHH
Me: KLAHOMA WHERE THE WIND COMES SWEEPING DOWN THE PLAIN
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If DC has senators the republicans wouldn’t have a majority and that’s the tea
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I'm gonna become a country artist and write a bunch of songs romanticizing the fuck outta Maryland just you wait
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