white girl on the tl: I’m so happy to announce i’m 18 years old, married, 💍financially stable, in shape, with twins on the way💑😭😭 God is so good 🙌🏻
Me, uncomfortably laying on air mattress thats slowly deflating: *quotes tweet with “LMFAOOOOOOOOO”*
mfers on here be 32 years old quoting kanye west tweets with “SIS, you’re cancelled. And that’s that on that.” bitch there’s a gas leak in your house your shit about to explode
art school bitches wish at 11:11 every night that they get a nosebleed just so they can post a zoomed in picture of it on their finsta with 33 followers with the caption “oh also today was fucking awful btw I want to die”
Quote tweet culture is funny as hell now people genuinely think they’re heros for quoting shit with “Now here’s what we NOT gon do.” you about to get evicted shut up
This fucking customer comes up to me looking like he’s dying still wearing a hospital bracelet talking about “I just had a heart attack today” why the fuck you come to the club then
you’re using twitter correctly if your phone is on 1% in the middle of nowhere and you waste it just to tweet “Yeo the Cinnamon Toast crunch shake from Burqer Kinqq is highkey flames 💯💯💯”
watching bitches talk on snapchat with the big eyes and mouth high pitched filter talking about how dudes got them fucked up waving their index finger around for 2 minutes straight just used 50% of my energy for the day and I literally just woke up
i’m fucking crying I went up to someone trying to scare them like “Boy i’ll break ya ankles” because judging the back of his head he looked like my coworker and it was a fucking customer
bitches be like “Omg im so random & impulsive just spent my entire check ($96) on Unif on ugly ass platforms that ill only wear once now i won’t have $$ to chill w Lestat Kai & Luna @ Cha Cha Matcha (in a polygamous relationship btw theyre woke) im soo having a manic episode lol”
The funniest shit to me is seeing girls that look about 14 still calling themselves “local wine moms” on here go proofread your Animal Farm paper Ms. Reedy needs it by 12
Drake is becoming..... mainstream & idk how to feel. remember when people asked who your favorite artist was and u had to say “Aubrey Drake Graham idk of you know who that is though” Drake is becoming..... mainstream & idk how to feel. remember when people asked who your favorite
thinking about how my brother said he wants to go to prison because he heard the “food is good” and showed me a recipe for ramen noodles with crushed doritos mixed in
Y’all tweeting gay ass shit like “Send me memes so I know it’s real” I didn’t think that was a thing till a nerdy dude asked for my # like “Please don’t be weirded out just know i’m weird. I’m weird. Gonna send u memes.” & it’d be a pic of the dad from Jimmy Neutron wearing timbs
gays spend 30 minutes looking for an outfit to wear in video games like you’re playing COD they don’t give you the option to wear an open silk button down with black jeans and that curved brim baseball hat from Urban Outfitters put on backwards