shaddai
@riplimewire
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Pinned Tweet
Just got my skull and every single bone crushed by a 1,200 lb piano falling from the 18th floor of an apartment building
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white girl on the tl: I’m so happy to announce i’m 18 years old, married, 💍financially stable, in shape, with twins on the way💑😭😭 God is so good 🙌🏻
Me, uncomfortably laying on air mattress thats slowly deflating: *quotes tweet with “LMFAOOOOOOOOO”*
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The Mona Lisa is so chopped like they really couldn’t find any bad bitches to paint
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dreamt I went on twitter and saw a random person post a picture of me with the caption “God just be making anybody 😩😩😩😩” and it had 200k likes
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mfers on here be 32 years old quoting kanye west tweets with “SIS, you’re cancelled. And that’s that on that.” bitch there’s a gas leak in your house your shit about to explode
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White guys were dropkicking their grandmas down the stairs just to get 10 likes at most on Vine shit was incredible if you think about it
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art school bitches wish at 11:11 every night that they get a nosebleed just so they can post a zoomed in picture of it on their finsta with 33 followers with the caption “oh also today was fucking awful btw I want to die”
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this picture just told me he’s going on a twitter hiatus to improve his mental health after getting accused of sexual assault on the tl
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White girls will take videos of starving homeless dudes dancing in union square like “NYC, you’re okay sometimes ☀️”
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last time I pressed the Instagram explore page I saw this image and just never checked it again
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Quote tweet culture is funny as hell now people genuinely think they’re heros for quoting shit with “Now here’s what we NOT gon do.” you about to get evicted shut up
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This fucking customer comes up to me looking like he’s dying still wearing a hospital bracelet talking about “I just had a heart attack today” why the fuck you come to the club then
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if you sleep with a dude that has a Pulp Fiction poster in their dorm room you cannot cry on your finsta about getting ghosted. You knew the outcome
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i’m tired of the 4loko slander i’m living on a budget sometimes you gotta drink a shit load of battery acid and engine fuel in a can to get lit
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You’re gay as hell if you’re a grown man buying chewy Chips Ahoy cookies at the gas station
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I hate hanging out with gays oomf just said “Secure your wig sis Tinashe is coming” with 0 context after 5 minutes of silence
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My uncle told me I look like I get my hair cut at PetsMart and I never recovered from that
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you’re using twitter correctly if your phone is on 1% in the middle of nowhere and you waste it just to tweet “Yeo the Cinnamon Toast crunch shake from Burqer Kinqq is highkey flames 💯💯💯”
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I lose braincells every time I go on this website and see this shit on my tl
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Hunger Games ass name
Halsey Welcomes First Baby, Ender Ridley, with Boyfriend Alev Aydin: 'Powered by Love'
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watching bitches talk on snapchat with the big eyes and mouth high pitched filter talking about how dudes got them fucked up waving their index finger around for 2 minutes straight just used 50% of my energy for the day and I literally just woke up
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i’m fucking crying I went up to someone trying to scare them like “Boy i’ll break ya ankles” because judging the back of his head he looked like my coworker and it was a fucking customer
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*White woman with Sam’s Club membership voice* MLK wouldn’t have wanted this 💔💔
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should’ve never told my mom to do 23andme she will not stop with this bullshit every single day
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Why are white women obsessed with asking for the most obnoxious drinks
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my white side of the family is addicted to saying shit like “You’re just gonna bust a u-ey right here bud” bitch can you just say to make a U-turn
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bitches be like “Omg im so random & impulsive just spent my entire check ($96) on Unif on ugly ass platforms that ill only wear once now i won’t have $$ to chill w Lestat Kai & Luna @ Cha Cha Matcha (in a polygamous relationship btw theyre woke) im soo having a manic episode lol”
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Ok we don’t care do you have footage of a cop getting hit with the can of beans we need it
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I be forgetting i’m half white sometimes I caught myself saying “Heebie Jeebies” the other day and was like Pause
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Spongebob was a victim of gaslighting every episode but no one wants to talk about that
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If I die and no one edits a funny ass split pic of me and xxxtentacion’s face i’m gonna be mad
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On a garbage bag bro you don’t got no type of bowl in your house
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White women begging Netflix to keep Friends up for yet another year
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The funniest shit to me is seeing girls that look about 14 still calling themselves “local wine moms” on here go proofread your Animal Farm paper Ms. Reedy needs it by 12
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My dad has the nerve to send me this every time I have to pick up my meds from CVS
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Drake is becoming..... mainstream & idk how to feel. remember when people asked who your favorite artist was and u had to say “Aubrey Drake Graham idk of you know who that is though” Drake is becoming..... mainstream & idk how to feel. remember when people asked who your favorite
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can’t find my freaking I <3 Boobies bracelet from Hot Topic how am I supposed to flex on my cousin at Thanksgiving dinner now
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Doing the astrological birth chart of the Pfizer Covid vaccine
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thinking about how my brother said he wants to go to prison because he heard the “food is good” and showed me a recipe for ramen noodles with crushed doritos mixed in
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why do people have to make up fake ass deep excuses for why they get a tattoo id be like yeah its a roach wearing Jordans theres no meaning
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me, mooching off everyones Netflix, Hulu & Apple Music hitting them up when they haven’t paid their subscription: Your freaking broke Lol
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oh nah it’s on sight
Can you guess which city I'm headed to now? Here's a little clue.
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FRIENDLY REMINDER: DRESSING UP LIKE THIS IS MOCKING LACTOSE INTOLERANCE CULTURE PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE THIS HALLOWEEN
http://t.co/YeFiYi1S63
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STOP I seen mad people waving flags cause apparently Italy won some shit and I was like Yassss Mexico serveeeeee and mad people grilled me
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this bitch was like “I peep you smiling at your phone who’s the lucky guy” and I was deadass laughing at a Yelp review
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burts bees is $2.99
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typa bitch you take out to the movies she sitting here talmbout "Which ones Rat and Tewie"
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This is like that post when the dude is speaking to his girlfriends cramps like "Listen up here tummy 😡😡😡 Leave my girl alone"
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Am I an asshole to send this even tho I haven't responded in 2 months
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Y’all tweeting gay ass shit like “Send me memes so I know it’s real” I didn’t think that was a thing till a nerdy dude asked for my # like “Please don’t be weirded out just know i’m weird. I’m weird. Gonna send u memes.” & it’d be a pic of the dad from Jimmy Neutron wearing timbs
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Man who gives a fuck LMFAOOOO
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Imagine living with him and waking up to this Looney Tunes ass shit every morning
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My tl is stocks stocks stocks and some hispanic girl retweet with 40k likes talking about matching energy and fucking with her vibes
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oomf just said he unfollows his dead mutuals because they don’t produce new content
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I remember the girl in my profile picture came at me saying to stop using this picture and I just pretended not to see it
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Omfg
I hate hanging out with gays oomf just said “Secure your wig sis Tinashe is coming” with 0 context after 5 minutes of silence
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This bitch i’m stealing wifi from needs to pay her bill for real how broke do you have to be for this shit to be this slow
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gays spend 30 minutes looking for an outfit to wear in video games like you’re playing COD they don’t give you the option to wear an open silk button down with black jeans and that curved brim baseball hat from Urban Outfitters put on backwards
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