australian. enthusiast. i talk about perfume, culture, history, maps, etc ♠ 'to follow knowledge like a sinking star beyond the utmost bound of human thought.'
I wrote about Le Lion, Chanel's new perfume, and how smelling it was like a strange odyssey through the perfume industry from a hundred years ago to now. Also featured: oud madness, Orientalism, Nazi collaboration, and the timeless appeal of Tiger Balm.
I'm officially putting the ban on all-male ensemble films where none of them fall in love with each other. you're telling me these twelve guys are going on a cross country epic quest and there's no romance? no longing glances? it's just not realistic
you really couldn't make up anne rice. the woman hates fanfiction so much she sues people over it but then writes a BDSM sleeping beauty series? becomes a born again christian and writes a jesus series but then abandons it and writes a book about lestat in atlantis instead
/r/relationships I [27M] have been pretending to be the ghost of her [17F] father to give her music lessons but I'm worried about making a move because of a facial disfigurement. Should I kidnap her and take her to my underground candlelit lair?
the thing about americans is that their sincerity and lack of shame is unfathomable to me. what do you mean you're going to talk to an actor in a theme park like they really are that character.....
look, anne rice's vampires are about her issues with catholicism and stephenie meyer's vampires are about her fidelity to mormonism. john polidori's vampires are about how much a dick lord byron is and bram stoker was just a xenophobe. and they are ALL about being horny
there is a series of artwork by mark stock called 'the butler's in love' and it is just butlers, completely overcome with longing and desire. when i tell you i am obsessed
wish i never set eyes on this perfect little pink castle in the highlands cause now i will spend my whole life wanting to live in this perfect little pink castle in the highlands
the bronte sisters watch the last jedi
emily: ben solo, so dreamy -
charlotte: those tortured dark eyes....
anne: ok but he's a literal murderer
emily: be QUIET, ANNE.
charlotte: you don't KNOW HIM -
i always love to imagine them going to the grocery store... which none of them have probably been to since emmett got turned in the fucking great depression or whatever. jasper doing a wheelie with the trolley. rosalie going apeshit in the cleaning aisle
and then steph meyer was straight up like 'and she is SOOOOO jealous of bella because edward loves BELLA and not HER and bella can have a BABY and she CAN'T and her power is BEAUTY but she's really MEAN' like ma'am this is an arbys
the most fucked up thing in twilight was carlisle seeing rosalie dying in an alley after being attacked by a group of men and going, 'pretty! i shall make her an immortal bride for my son edward!'
kate and anthony only being in the season for about fifteen minutes and still having the most romantic scenes lmfao kanthony stop... your marriage too idyllic your chemistry too strong they'll kill you
some russian aristocrat in the 1890's: hello sir, i would like to commision a painting of a monk please
konstantin savitskiy: i am going to paint the hottest man who has ever lived
iwtv// i love that the talamasca built a whole strategy and wasted money and resources just to break up louis and armand's relationship for no reason. they're like producers of a real housewives show
andrew hozier byrne being born on st patrick's day like ireland itself formed him from the mist to go forth and spread its word of catholic guilt and murder ballads
like i do laugh when i remember how angry people were about twilight 'ruining' vampires when, hmmmst, anne rice ran the show for decades and her vampires are all existential egomaniacs who are eternally horny and yet can never have sex.
2014 hozier: i'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies, i'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
2019 hozier: dragging along, hung like the pelt of some prey you had worn
me: fine andrew i'll murder you, jesus christ
some classic male ensembles with at least one desperate, gut wrenching, life changing romance
- seven samurai/magnificent seven
- the iliad.
- ocean's eleven
- any gangster film
- the knights of the round table
- lord of the rings clearly
- jesus and the apostles aka the boys
2007 me: i can't believe harry potter is over forever.... i wish jkr would write more!
2018 me: voldemort and bellatrix have a love child called delphi who is albus severus' nemesis
2007 me: what -
2018 me: nagini is a human woman and voldemort's been sucking her milk
if the allegations are true and phoebe bridgers cheated on paul mescal with bo burnham this is the kenneth branagh cheating on emma thompson with helena bonham carter of the covid era
so apparently louisa may alcott (!!) wrote a book about a bored girl who MARRIES THE DEVIL who falls in love with her back and then she leaves and he CHASES HER FOR YEARS and she tries to avoid him and falls into a 'hopeless passion' with... A PRIEST????!!!
dear lord, please use your power to stop people from quote tweeting that fucking campus carry gun rights girl and building her platform for her. i pray you make these people understand that it's exactly what she wants and they are not winning by validating her. amen
the bodyguard falls in love with protectee trope, very underrated. love when stoic dudes have to watch over their mark and they PINE, THEY PERISH but they can't act on their feelings so they become even more protective because they LOVE
*children are obviously excluded from this as it's of course an experience mainly aimed at children but like ADULTS? my face would be burning red with embarrassment even making eye contact with the wandering lumiere. you do not have to worry about ME
mcgonagall in 1995: I've been working at Hogwarts for 39 years
me: ok so she started in 1956 -
jkr: WRONG AGAIN FOOLISH MUGGLE, she's teaching at Hogwarts in 1927!
every time i search for a gif and end up on giphy or whatever i think about how gif culture has become so entwined with the internet that there are gif keyboards! on facebook! when this was a trend started by teenage girls who taught themselves photoshop and posted on tumblr
the thing mid 00s teen shows have over teen shows now is the power of the opening credits song. look me in my eyes and tell me you didn't belt out 'save me' before smallville. 'california' for the oc. that gavin degraw song for one tree hill
(in a dark robe as i begin the summoning chant) lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur adipiscing elit suspendisse pulvinar viverra dignissim vestibulum non semper lectus vivamus eu dui et lectus dapibus....
yeah i watched the star wars hotel video and yes it seemed awful! but also the very concept of a LARP hotel is nightmarish to me, like every single aspect of it. what do you mean i have to pick a storyline? what do you mean i'm going to pay you to give me riddles
the world: Jane Austen wrote romances because she was unlucky in love herself
me: Jane Austen was engaged to a man for one night then called it off. to quote Ms. Austen, "Women are the only correspondents to be depended on." Conclusion: Jane Austen Was a Lesbian.
growing up 2000s was downloading a song from limewire for your ipod mini but it was some weird alternate version that you then became emotionally attached to and now you can't find it anywhere and you miss it. you miss your bootleg song
remember when mrs weasley hated fleur because of like, internalised misogyny, and thought she would leave after bill got attacked by a werewolf and fleur was like I AM BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH FOR ZE BOTH US fucking legendary
in a way i admire that americans have an earnestness in their culture that lets them embrace experiences but at the same time if i was watching a movie at the CINEMA and everyone was hooting hollering clapping cheering and such NONSENSE i would not be responsible for my actions
there's something in all of this that feels very connected to all of america's subtweet versions of protestanism.... what are megachurches if not theme park entertainment for the lord
like that's also going to be me opening day but it's funnier that this movie is so lana coded that it IS lana manifest. a priscilla movie was always on my dream sofia coppola projects along with a romanov girlies movie (though i doubt she'd ever do royal again)
imagine meticulously planning a murder with all your friends and flying half way around the world to do it and you get on the train and fucking hercule poirot gets in the carriage behind you
ok no you know what THE MENU was? it was one of those fairy tales where the heroine gets trapped in the evil wizard's castle and she has to use her wits to get out and in the end she's so clever and brave that she makes the evil wizard realise that once he, too, was human
tokyo drift: han died in a car crash
fast 6: ACTUALLY, luke evans killed han
fast 7: ACTUALLY, jason statham shot han in the head!
fast 9: ACTUALLY, han is not dead at all!
fast 11: han is immortal
fast 32: han ascends to godhood