bard of pond
@redrichie
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
298,367
There's nothing to worry about. He/him. Mastodon: @redrichie @jorts .horse Bluesky: @redrichie .bksy.social
Joined November 2008
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Compressed hours is not the same thing as a four day week and it's absurd to pretend otherwise
Exclusive: Workers will get new rights to demand a four-day week in a law tabled by Labour this autumn.
“Compressed hours”, which lets you work a full week’s hours in four days not five, will be in the employee rights package championed by Angela Rayner.
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The thing here is that the first three things are about bodily autonomy and it's really weird and probably bad to present it in this way
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Did all the other Scottish politicians die or something?
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"Maxed out the national credit card" as an analogy makes it sound like we've all been having a nice time over the past 14 years and: lol
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Hi
@mgshanks
, seems to be a mistake here mate. It says in August that you said you'd vote against the two-child cap, but I don't see you amongst the suspended MPs
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This is amazing. Literally nobody thinks they'll be able to vote in UK elections if Scotland becomes independent
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'They've turned the weans against us' vibes from the Cabinet Secretary for Justice.
"Rigged polls"...they've left reality behind.
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Lmao you've literally destroyed your relationship with your child to cry and shit in your pants about toilets
@JackieDP
I was in a gender neutral cafe toilet in Paris the other day, where I had to share a sink with a man, to wash my hands. Awkward and uncomfortable. He felt the same so stood out of the way to allow me to do so. We were both embarrassed. Please make it stop!
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Yes and it was fucking shit you stupid fucking cunt
When I was a kid, everybody had condensation and even ice on the inside of their windows, we didn’t have central heating. We mopped it up and carried on.
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@RoxanaDaneshjou
@jtrebach
Lol one of my wee girls has a congenital heart condition so gets regular scans, she also has dextrocardia. One time they brought a student in but never told her this and the poor soul was having a hard time not getting why she could find stuff properly lol
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Hear me out, what if all munitions are the wrong type of munition to use on a refugee camp
"A mistake was made."
Israeli government spokesperson Eylon Levy says an "incorrect munition" was used on a refugee camp in central Gaza which killed at least 68 Palestinians, including women and children.
📺 Sky 501, Virgin 602, Freeview 233, YouTube
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The day started with a political poster which was a callback to literal Nazi propaganda and has ended with a political assassination.
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@andrejpwalker
@elongreen
Your original premise said nothing about where the money comes from. You're still a fud with absolutely no sense of self-awareness.
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@literaturedevil
@Network_Synth
@SamuraiSphinx
Three cry wank emojis, you are literally madder than anyone has ever been
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I think I can help here Nick. It's because the Spectator and Telegraph are also bad
How can Douglas Murray still write for
@Telegraph
and the
@spectator
when he says such incendiary and violent rhetoric about immigrants and Muslims:
“The public will have to go in, & the public will have to sort this out themselves, & it'll be very, very brutal. I don't want
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Literally don't care, public transport is for public good, not profit
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Bro, the issue is 14 years of austerity lol. You guys have pledged you'll continue with that
Do you feel better off than you did 14 years ago?
Vote Labour on 4 July. 🌹🏴
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"Retirement Jobby"
As a fun little escape, I like to dream up a retirement “jobby” (job+hobby) and so far I have:
🔹local news journalist who only writes puff pieces about dog shows and old married couples
🔹museum docent with a flair for the dramatic
🔹gossipy matchmaker
What other ideas you got?
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Lol fuck me, at this rate I'm just going to have to block anyone not living in Scotland who feels the need to opine in any way negatively on Scottish independence
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I mean he's right!
NEW: The First Minister has responded to comments made by Joe Rogan and Elon Musk amid their criticism of Scotland's new Hate Crime Act
🗣 'They are right-wing actors of course and I think it's very clear'
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@andrejpwalker
@elongreen
Also: I had a quick look at your timeline. Do you do any good tweets? I think you should try that.
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Nobody takes this shit seriously, it's all "lol ur team did bad, my team did good, cope and seethe", but I need people to understand that this whole election represents a massive shift to the right in British politics
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Anyway, like I was saying before, it's wild how much damage being online has done to 90% of British comedians reputations.
I unreservedly apologise for saying that John McDonnell shouldn’t “blow a gasket” over the “call off the dogs” comment. I now accept that Mr. McDonnell, as a human being, is not in possession of gaskets or any other mechanical fittings. Now everyone please take a chill pill.
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Absolutely no excuse to be voting Labour. I genuinely hate you if you're voting for this cunt
🚨 BREAKING: Keir Starmer says that trans women should be banned from women-only spaces.
Asked if trans women (even those with GRCs) have the right to use women's spaces, Starmer said: "No. They don’t have that right. They shouldn’t".
(Via The Times)
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So the Tories fucked it in England, but we're getting a bunch in Scotland because Yer Da disnae like that Sturgeon wummin. *slow clap*
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Would like to remind comrades in England that George is a fucking shithead, by the way
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This is literally just right wing ideology
"These are not the decisions that I wanted to make, but they are the right decisions to make in difficult circumstances, and to avoid them would be irresponsible".
@RachelReevesMP
on the state of the public finances.
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No offence but they'd be as well offering to meet me and I have the added bonus of not being a massive weirdo
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Lol know your market I guess
If you ever get kicked out of the house by your significant other for buying the Cybertruck, you know where you can still sleep in style
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Tfw you are definitely alive and looking forward to Christmas with the family.
Prince Philip to return to the Queen's side in Sandingham after leaving hospital this morning
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You won't die if you support something the SNP say you losers
Labour calls for ‘immediate humanitarian ceasefire’ in Gaza as alternative to SNP motion for ‘immediate ceasefire’ – UK politics live
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Stop voting Tory then, you fanny
I have 3 children all have been through University the last one graduated this summer. Collectively their student loans exceed £150,000 how is it fair that Scottish families get their education for free?
Further the tax I pay also subsidises the Scots through the Barnett Formula
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Actually this is part of why I'm deeply uncomfortable with cis people doing the "lol terf island" patter. Particularly Americans tbh. It's bad enough without you telling these losers that they've won, when they haven't
Another good thing abut transphobes is they genuinely think they represent the majority of folk and are like "well I guess that 99% of people agree with me" and it's like a fun thing here is you don't have to guess! This stuff has been polled and most people are basically cool
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Just an awful person
The findings of the Cass Review must be implemented in Scotland.
This is important for staff, the young people with gender dysphoria & their families.
The SNP Gov’t must be transparent & give a statement about implementation of the Cass review & the use of puberty blockers.
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Honestly, at this point I hate you if you're voting Labour in Scotland
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Tbh I'm hiding and blocking all these losers showing up in my mentions, but lol who said I don't understand what she's trying to say hahaha
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Lol the terfs showing up in my mentions showing that they don't actually understand what bodily autonomy means
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Reverse the section 35 then
Prime Minister
@Keir_Starmer
has spoken to the First Ministers of Scotland and Wales, and the First Minister and deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland.
We are resetting our relationship, working together to unite our country.
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I try to avoid Rowling's outpourings because her skull is clearly just filled with gravel at this point, but Jesus Christ mate, can't you write normally
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Lol you fucking absurd cunt
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@PaulCliffcouk
Have you considered addressing them in the way they'd like and not being a berk? It's actually really easy
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This is what happens when politicians are careerists. They don't believe they should be in any way answerable to the people they serve
Bumped into Labour MP
@JonAshworth
who was canvassing in Leicester. Elderly Muslim uncles who prev supported Jon came out to ask why he abstained from the 🇵🇸ceasefire vote so he resorted to playing victim by saying we were bullying & intimidating him. We have every right to Q you
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@Space_diva
@garydunion
@juneslater17
no offence, but you and your friends are probably completely insufferable if you honestly think you'd fall foul of a pretty milquetoast hate crime law
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Hahahahahahahahahaha heaven forfend you fuds do some fuckin journalism
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@MaryRob59944406
@hansmollman
@petercardwell
Hi Mary, could you do me a favour and forward this screenshot to a friend (if you have any) or a family member (if they still talk to you) and come back to me and let me know what they say. TIA
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Tories: save yerselves money and replace Ruth Davidson with a tape recorder which shouts "no new referendum" every ten minutes.
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Wonder if the folk who insisted on arguing that Labour are more left wing than the Nats before the election still wish to do so. More SNP politicians voted for the motion than Labour and they only have 9 MPs now. Absurd!
Not a single Scottish Labour MP thought this was a price worth paying to vote against this legislation
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Transphobes are in town being weird just at the Buchanan Street Underground by the way. Might want to avoid there for a bit
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@thatusagyuuun
@bencsmoke
Mate, his being divorced is entirely because he couldn't stop posting. It is very funny
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The thing about "kids shouldn't be allowed in pubs" patter is most of the folk doing it are of the view kids are annoying and lol pals I have bad news for you if you think people should be kicked out of pubs simply for being annoying
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Confronted a German washing machine about the whereabouts of my missing socks "wum wum wum" it said. A Miele-mouthed reply.
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So don't? You're literally the chancellor
'This is not a decision I wanted to make'
Chancellor
@RachelReevesMP
says she has made the "difficult decision" to scrap winter fuel payments for some pensioners
Politics latest ➡️
📺 Sky 501, Virgin 602, Freeview 233 and YouTube
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The reason nobody said anything about the Jimmy Carr "joke" until now is because the only people who'd seen it were his audience, who are the kind of curtain-twitching middle-class bores who unironically hold that opinion
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@AngusStoneham_
@RabbidTheNabbit
@LBC
@mrjamesob
Shut the fuck up. Do you think you can do that? Shut the fuck up? Do you think you can stop parping on cluelessly with your foul-smelling breath?
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BROADCAST MEDIA: "How did we get to this point?!"
*earlier that day*
BROADCAST MEDIA: "Please welcome Nigel Farage to the studio."
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hope they don't do televised debates, it's gonna be the UK's nudest and reddest men asking "are Palestinians human? no, or not at all?" or "can a woman have a penis?" for ninety minutes
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It's some laugh how any campaign for an independent Scotland needs to be inspiring or whatever when the UK offer is literally "you'll have a descent into fascism and you'll enjoy it. Also bread is £10 a loaf"
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Was he Hamas then? Fuck every ghoul in this shithole country who supports this
Elias from Gaza practices walking using crutches after he lost his foot in an Israeli strike.
UNICEF has estimated that more than 1,000 children in Gaza have had one or both of their legs amputated since the start of the Israeli offensive until last week.
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I'm starting to think that people who use "hamdmaiden" as a pejorative have not, in fact, read The Handmaid's Tale (1985)
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I mean Humza Yousaf has been subjected to loads of racist abuse, but OK mate
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@s8mb
These tweets are amazing, mate. You have failed to understand the media, society, history and political theory. Kudos.
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@TheCruffatin
I mean right. But even without that just bored of folk being like "why does Gaza need this [perfectly normal amount of a perfectly normal thing]". Like what's their implication here lads?
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You're the Chairman of The Spectator you fuckin cunt
The National’s front pages are a unique treasure. They need to be archived for media historians to consult in the years to come. They make Stalin’s Pravda look objective, impartial and reliable in comparison.
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I'm guessing I'm muted by fash lover
@mattforde
, but very amused at him tweeting about how much he loved Nigel Farage back when he was in his 20s lololol
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@jamesdoleman
Hahaha, I mean it is funny, but was there literally nobody there to say "this is really stupid, even for us"? Or am I being daft?
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Oh thank fuck we won't have to hear from Joanna Cherry again
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She's not going to shag you m8
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@elliot_gc
Lol imagine being more upset with swear words than with fascist policies. You're a fraud mate
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@IAmZackHayward
They've been pretty clear they're institutionally transphobic for a while now mate
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Lol mind when folk got raging if you called these clowns Tories?
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I'm sure people think the way they treat Diane Abbott isn't racist. Unfortunately for them, the way they treat Diane Abbott is racist.
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Two things: 1. They're prancing around in dinosaur costumes. This is a ridiculous Internet meme which will mean nothing to the normies they're trying to scare. 2. I now just associate suffragette colours with the most rancid bigotry. Well done everyone!
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@Pinewood_lodge7
@Demetrius_Art
Lol have you considered talking to people who aren't in the Lodge
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Absolutely sent by former (?) buy to let landlord Irvine Welsh retweeting a post calling bagels middle class gentrification
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